Author's Note; Thank you SO much to my darling reviewers!! You've encouraged me to get working!! LOL!! Cuddles to all who stop by xxx
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Chapter 2
"Barbara, I'm sorry," he immediately began, hastily closing the door behind him and walking across the space.
She didn't say anything at first. She simply stood, keeping her arms folded whilst avoiding looking at him.
"I got held up, I had to be there....we were downtown after getting word that the mob had set up shop in one of Gotham High's old sheds, so we had to search the school and the grounds, but it turned ou....."
"Jim," she then interrupted, somewhat quietly. "Its fine, I know."
"You do?"
"Yes," she nodded slightly, "Celia told me that you were busy when I came down here. She said something happened in the school and you were out taking care of it."
Appreciating her understanding, he dropped his files on the desk, "Yeah, we got a supposed leak this morning and we were out until now," he informed, unsure of where to place himself. He'd expected her to feel the wrath of her red-headed temper and have another argument about his 'questionable priorities', but he hadn't expected her to stand before him like this.... She was actually more upset than angry. Despite all she'd been through the past while, she managed to stay strong for the children's sake....they'd been shaken up too. But even when she did break down in his arms, Jim had never seen his wife so fragile as she was standing here before him. "I thought maybe you might have caught it on the news," he continued again, trying for an answer.
She shook her bowed head. "No, I was cleaning out upstairs for the garage sale before I came in to town."
Another pause. Jim bit his thin lip and lifted a hand to the back of his stiff neck. "Honey, is there something you want to tell me? Are the kids okay?" he suddenly guessed, panicking at the thoughts.
"No, no," she replied, shaking her head vigorously this time. "They're fine."
"Well then please tell me what's the matter Barb, you're about to give me a heart attack!" he exclaimed. It should have been obvious why she was so off, he'd stood her up yet again. "I wouldn't blame you if you were mad at me...," he said, moving closer to her, "I know, I should have called. I should have told you I wasn't able to make it."
Barbara finally lifted her head and met him. She'd been crying. "No, I should have known better."
"Honey, what are you talking about?" he asked, somewhat stirred by her swollen red eyes.
"I should have known you weren't going to be there," she shrugged, still not getting particularly angry. "You'd think after seventeen years of marriage that I'd have learned."
Here we go. "Barbara, please....," he began to reason, keeping his voice soft in response to her emotional state, "The only thing you could learn is that I'm a cop and I have to work long hours, I do the best I ca...."
"No Jim, you don't have to work long hours," she corrected.
There was no way they were starting up this routine yet again! He sighed before replying, having a brief moment to remain composed. "Well, it's not because I want to. I didn't miss lunch on purpose...."
"This isn't about lunch," Barbara affirmed, beginning to fidget with the neat pearl necklace cradling around her neck. It had belonged to his mother.
"Honey, talk to me..." he encouraged, "tell me what this is about."
Barbara released a held breath from rouged lips. She was momentarily silent, wondering how she could best put it. The words had been played through her mind for so long, but she couldn't have comprehended just how difficult this was.
"The timing is horrible, I know," she finally began, shutting her eyes. "But I guess the only place I get to see you is here, and I want this to be away from the kids..."
Jim furrowed his brow, "What away from the kids?"
"We've tried Jim....I've tried, and I've been putting this conversation off and putting it off, but I can't...." she paused, trying her best to talk with her quivering voice. "I can't do this anymore Jim. We can't....we can't keep living the way we've been living...."
"This 'Penguin' hunt has been exhausting, I know," he agreed, slicing a hand across the air, "But it'll be over soon honey, we nearly have him," he promised, his blue eyes widening in confidence.
Barbara began to take some aimless steps. Her husband was a man of his word when it came to his job, and she believed him. He would make sure that he did catch 'The Penguin'. "But then there'll be someone else!" she said, telling his something he already knew. "This won't all go away Jim, you've seen what's happened this past year....," she paused, alluding to the horrors with The Joker and Harvey Dent. "You'll be after someone even worse next time. It's not going the other way Jim, it's expanding."
Before he could muster an answer using his argument of 'Batman', she finished.
"I think we need to separate for a while."
His throat went dry. "Separate?" he repeated coarsely, wincing in utter disbelief. Given all their marital problems and counselling, their fights about moving back to Chicago and even when she took the kids and stayed over at her sisters on occasion, she'd never once threatened to break up. "Barbara, this isn't the first lunch I've missed, but I don...."
"This isn't about you missing lunch!" she bit in desperation, wishing he'd understand. "It's about everything you've missed.....and today, with a scare in a school.....what if it was Jimmy and Babs' school, huh?"
He'd already thought of that. It was the first question on his mind when the calls came in earlier.
"I'm losing myself Jim," she continued, "If I don't get some normality to sort myself out...."
"Barbara..." he walked forward, placing his hands on her arms, "Barbara, don't do this....I've seen couples separate, they don't work it out, they...they just grow further apart."
"I don't know any other way...," she choked, a fresh veil of glassy tears forming over her olive eyes, "Please don't make this harder than it already is Jim, it's taken everything I have left to do this!"
"Barbara, I love you," he whispered, his voice failing with the lump that was forming in this throat.
"And I love you, but that's not what this is about."
"Then what's it about?"
"It's about not having a life. We live in a fishbowl," she explained, breaking his physical contact, "and maybe you can deal with that, but I can't, and neither can the kids. We can't keep living in this fear."
Jim's brows fell at her revelation. He didn't answer right away. Placing his hands in his pockets, he slowly paced a path to behind his desk, trying to register the past few moments.
He had to admit she made a somewhat valid point. Despite his efforts in making Gotham a safe place for his wife and two young kids, it still wasn't. Even after a year since his family were held at gun point by the city's once adored District Attorney, they were still limited as to when and where they could go....and what if it was Jimmy and Babs' school today!? As the Commissioner's family, they were always going to be a liability. There were only so many times he could fake his death or hope Batman would save the day before something might....
Stopping at the huge window and briefly scanning the city, he turned to meet her again. Unable to speak at first, he gave a gentle nod. "I'll call by tomorrow when the kids are at school and pick up my things..."
"I didn't come here to push you out the door, I'm not talking to a lawyer....," she struggled, now moving closer to him. "I just need to find my centre while I still have one." She truly didn't want to hurt him, but she felt this was for the good of the whole family, her husband included.
Doing his best to appear strong and support her decision, he just about managed to force a smile under his salt-and-peppery brown 'tashe. "Okay, then you do..."
"Yes, I do.....I do," she trailed off, suddenly turning for the door. Amid the tears that now flowed down her cheeks as she finally broke down, she turned for a last look back before walking through the opened door, "I'm sorry."
Fighting every urge to stop her, hold her, kiss her, apologise in a desperate bid to keep her, he let her go. After causing and denying them so much, he had to prove he put them first.
Only fit to stand silent in his office after her departure, he lifted a hand to slide under his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose, catching the stinging tears that were fighting to fall.
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