4. Chaper
COMPLICATING LIFE
„Stop planing your life
and let it plan itself.
Quit trying to find the perfect boy
And let him find you.
If you don't want drama,
Don't talk shit.
Things are only as complicated
As you make them."
Embry lay on his bed in the early morning hours. He was as awake as possible. Sleep just would not overcome him. His mind was filled with images of Amy and worries. Primarily with worries. His soulmate had not called since he dropped her off at her aunt's house after the bonfire. That was 31 hours ago.
#Flashback#
"What do you think? What do you think about me turning into a wolf?"
...
"It's cool I guess..." she did not sound quite convinced herself. Amy's voice was edgy. She would not look Embry straight in the eyes.
"Umm... okay, maybe I'm not that cool with it... but you've got to understand, it's huge! Not everyone does that and I certainly didn't expect it... But I promise, I'm trying to be cool with it... honnestly" her voice trailed off.
Embry's heart ached. He had overburdened her. He had been to quick. What if he had ruined it all? What if Amy couldn't be cool with it? What if she now was grossed out by him? What if she'd leave him?
"Umm, Embry, can you drop me home, please. I need to think... I guess"
#Flachback over#
He had given her a ride home on which she had been very silent. She had told him she would call when she was ready.
He really wanted to give her as much space and time as she wanted. He was worried about their barely existing relationship, their uncertain future. So he ran double shifts for Sam. It had one good effect: the others enjoyed themselves immensely as they were off duty. But what Embry wanted it to do, namely get his head off of Amy and make him tired enough to sleep, did not work. He found himself pounding about her all the time.
Sighning he got up. He would ask Sam if he could patrol for him again. Since the vampires had left after the battle against the Volturi, there was not much of a need to go on patrol but the pack kept it up as not to get lazy and unfit. Though he, in fact, had joined Jacob's pack Embry would still go on patrol for both of the pack's after Jacob and Leah left for different reasons. The packs were mostly back to normal exept the fact that Embry did not share his mind with Jared, Paul, Colin, Brady or Sam any longer. It was easier but did not keep them from being a big family. He put on a pair of cut off jeans and jogged over to Sam's.
Without knocking, he entered. Not one of the werwolves ever knocked or asked for permission to enter. They had adopted Emily as their pack mother for Sam was already their leader from the beginning on. Embry would never see Jacob, his childhood friend, as a father figure, especially when said alpha was strictly against using his status. And two-year-old Nessie, though she looked older, was not very motherly either, seeing she did not even life near-by but somewhere in Alasca. Embry smiled at the thought of his friends. He missed them.
Being caught up in his train of thoughts he admistered too late that Sam wasn't in and Emily not alone in the house. She had company. Embry froze still when he recognized the sweet scent and voice of the one person that now was the centre of his universe. He was sure, they had already noticed him so he continued to the kitchen.
"Honey, do not make it any more complicated as it already is..." He heard Emily mutter qickly before he reached the room.
"Morning... Amy, what are you doing here?" his eyes narrowed in on her expecting an angry outburst. Why was he so nervous around her? When he saw Emily frown, he noted that he might have sounded quite rude.
"I mean... I mean not that I'm not happy to see you... I was just taken by surprise..." he stumbled "I meant to give you space you know, I don't want you to feel pressured or anything..." well, that definately did not sound rude but cheesy. As Amy did not attempt to answer, his gaze flickered to Emily who was no longer sitting in her chair. When had she left the room? It was new to Embry that his senses did not register anything besides the young girl.
He hunkered down next to her chair, his left hand slowly brushed Amy's hair from her face and tenderly lifted her chin so he could see her into the eyes. It was rather reflexive than planned, he just had to know what was wrong. She looked so unsure, so vulnerable. Her cheeks were slightly wet from the tears she seemed to have cried earlier on, her hands clenched around a cup of tea on the table.
Following his instincts, Embry swiftly shifted her so she came to sit on his lap. He fondled her hair, desperately trying to comfort her.
"Amy, sweetheart, what's wrong? What did I do? Talk to me, please..."
She snuffled quietly. "I'm sorry, Embry"
"Don't be... It's all right. Just tell me!" Reassuring her he suddenly did not feel very confident himself if everything actually was all right. What was she sorry for? She had no reason...
"Embry, I'm sorry... I really am... it's just, I did not plan for this to happen. I'm just so scared..."
That was blow in the stomach. She was scared of him, of what he was, she could not be with him because he scared her... "You're scared of us, of me..." he choked out.
Amy finally met his eyes. "No, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared for you" she took a deep breath, sat up and explained "I'm scared for you, for all of you, because whatever you face, whatever you protect the people from. It could greatly injure you and I don't want you to get hurt." She sighed "I'm also scared for the tribe, for the people that you protect. What if you fail? Who would protect them then? They are in danger and don't even know it!" Amy looked at him as if she tried to will him with her eyes only to understand. "And I'm scared for you, Embry... If I understood correctly, you got bound to me. But what if you don't want that anymore, what if it only is the wolf inside you? What if you find another, more beautiful, more intelligent girl... and want to get rid of me...?"
He looked at her, taken aback. Embry had to try real hard not to laugh at her.
"You do know, how pathetic that sounded, right? Amy, you are my life! Even if I weren't a werwolf, I would have still fallen for you! You cannot plan these things. I do not see any other girl beside you. There is noone who could possibly be more beautiful or intelligent than you – you are perfect! Perfect for me and I cannot life without you! I would never ever leave you! You have to know this, so don't be afraid, all will be fine! No one will get hurt, neither we nor the people nor you! I promise!"
Jeez, since when was he so mushy? He searched in her eyes for a reaction, blushing slightly. Why was it so hot in that small kitchen? Was it his body temperature or rather his embarrassment for being that straight and putting himself out there, bare and vulnerable?
But then she smiled. Smiled like he had never seen her do before. It seemed too big for her face. Pure joy was beaming at him. This had to be the feeling one gets while standing right under the sun in the zenith, but a million times better. It warmed him from the inside. His heart wanted to burst out of happiness.
Bang
They both twitched involuntarily. The door had flown open. Paul and Jared rushed in scrapping and racing each other to the table, followed by Kim and Rachel. Embry sighed deeply and cursed under his breath, his head sinking thoughtlessly on Amy's shoulder who giggled at the sight of those huge guys acting like children. When they saw Embry and his imprint sitting there in the small kitchen they immediately stopped their bickering, leering at them.
Saving Amy any kind of embarrassment, Emily appeared out of nowhere with Sam and their son. "Who wants breakfast?" she winked at Amy.
Soon the little kitchen was filled with chatter and laughter. Embry had held Amy on his lap as Emily announced she did not need any help. Secretly rejoicing, the young girl let it happen.
Seth was the first one of the others to arrive, walking into the room, he let out a grown that was sure to be heard by everyone. "Honnestly, people, give me a break..." a disgusted look came on his face when he eyed Kim and Jared making out as if they were alone "really, now only Quil needs to come and I'll throw up" he dropped on a chair with a loud thud. The others just laughed at his expression but did not mind his lame accusation.
"Just look at them" he kept fretting "she's pregnant, can he not get his hands off her?!" They all knew how hard it was on Seth; he was the only one of the original werewolves who had not imprinted yet. He felt left out and treated unfairly. In his eyes, his lack of imprinting made him one of the youngsters, the kids as they called Collin and Brady.
"Anyway, girls" Rachel piped up snickering "we have to get going or the shops will be closed by the time we get to Port Angles" that was plenty exaggerated but still worked as it got Kim to stop, straighten her hair and climb off Jared's lap.
In the doorway Emily turned around "Amy, what are you waiting for? Come on!"
The girl looked flabbergasted "Me?"
"Of course, we're having a girls' day out, shopping and backbiting about these guys here" she grinned cheerfully "Did I not tell you? I sorted it out with your aunt yesterday, you're allowed to come"
Amy looked from Emily to Embry as if to ask permission, she did not know herself why exactly she did that. It just felt right for him to have a say in this.
"Sure, go ahead, enjoy yourself! I'll see you when you get back, ok?" he smiled.
"Ok! Be safe" and with that she hopped on the floor, walked past Emily and followed the others out. When she opted out of the house, she heard Embry adress Emily "Take care of her!"
Amy would have gone balistic if someone else had said that, treating her as if she was a little child that needed to be watched. However, the way Embry said it, made her knees go mellow, her heartbeat quicken up and it gave her the heebie-jeebies. But it felt good, Amy liked that she seemed to be his. Suddenly she had butterflies in her stomach. A smile spread across her face.
###
okay, what do you think?^^
btw, I was told Amy would behave a lot like Bella... I didn't intend to write her that way...^^
