Dear Journal,

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I couldn't tell Tommy that the child I was carrying was his. I made the decision then and there that he wouldn't find out. Not ever.

"Yes... I'm pregnant."

"And it's mine. It is... isn't it?" he asked. I saw the tension in his eyes. He wasn't worried about the baby; he was worried that I was just going to tie him down further than I already had.

"No," I answered firmly.

"What? What do you mean, no? There's not anyone else... is there?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

I looked behind Tommy and saw Speid and Sadie talking down the hall. Spied and I locked eyes for a second, before he looked back at Sadie.

"Speid."

"WHAT?" Tommy yelled.

"Tommy, your son is wide awake over there. Do you really want him to hear you yelling?" I hissed.

"You... and him?" Tommy sat down in the chair next to the hospital room door.

"He was there when no one else was. You left, remember?"

Tommy didn't answer. Suddenly, he got up and rushed down the hall, before I could stop him. He grabbed Speid by both shoulders and threw him up against the wall.

"You ass," he yelled, punching him.

Speid groaned loudly and fell to the floor. Sadie tried to pull Tommy off of Speid, but he threw her back out of the way. Sadie ran to the receptionist desk on the other side of the hall, and before I knew what had happened, security guards were rushing down the hall.

Tommy was put under arrest.

"I hope you two are happy together!" he screamed as the guards led him away, down the elevator.

I leaned over and picked Speid back up. His nose was bleeding and a bruise was slowly coming up on the side of his face.

"What was that all about?" he asked, as I handed him a tissue.

"I told you I wasn't going to tell Tommy the baby was his," I answered feebly.

"You told him it was mine?" Speid said disbelievingly.

"Yeah," I said, feeling like a complete idiot. "But you have to understand! I couldn't just tell Tommy I was having his kid AGAIN. I mean, that would be complete and utter stupidity. He's already left me one kid to raise. I didn't want him thinking he had another one, too!"

"But Jude, he should know that he's got another kid! God, Jude! Karma is going to kill me!"

I had forgotten about that. Speid was a married man. He and Karma already had a daughter. He didn't need me mucking things up for them and confusing Katie. What if Tommy went to the press?

"Oh God," I said, sliding down the wall and down to the floor. "This is a mess."

"No, duh, Jude," Speid said.

"Can't you just tell Karma the truth? That Jude's baby isn't really yours and that you're just telling everyone it is to protect her and her family from Tommy and his wild antics?" Sadie asked.

"Yeah, and then I'll have to admit to the world that I cheated on my wife with Jude, when I really didn't!" Speid spat.

"Or you could tell the world that you just artificially inseminated yourself and Speid was a donor," Sadie laughed.

"Actually, that might just work," I said, looking at Speid.

"Are you serious?" Speid asked.

"Come on, Speid," I begged. "You can tell Karma the real truth!"

"I'll talk to her about it, but there's no promises. I've got to go. Katie needs to be picked up from school." Speid walked down the hall and down the elevator.

"Are you okay, Jude?" Sadie asked me.

"I'm fine. I mean, I think I just dug myself into a really deep hole and cut both Tommy and Speid's hearts open, but other than that, things are just peachy!"

Sadie smirked.

"You really think so?" she asked.

"Of course," I said sarcastically. "I've gotta go. Zach needs me."

I sat down in Zach's room, trying to hide my tears.

"Mommy, where did Daddy go?" Zach asked.

"He's going to go on vacation for a while," I said sadly.

"Mommy, does Daddy still love me?"

How am I supposed to answer that one?

xXx Jude xXx

Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate it!

Leanne