Dear Journal,

It's just past midnight and I've made a decision.

I'm running for it.

I'm taking Zach and I'm packing my things and we are going to leave Toronto. I've got most of Zach's stuff packed in a huge suitcase. Most of mine is packed in another huge suitcase on the other side of the room. I've got a cab called... it'll be here in around an hour. Why do I feel so nervous?

That Heather Payne or whatever her name is is the biggest bitch I have ever met in my entire life. What makes her think she can take Tommy and raise MY son? I'm so scared that they're going to do something stupid and sue for custody. Maybe leaving for a while would be the best thing. I can leave and live a life of secrecy until after this baby is born. Things will calm back down. I hope.

There's someone at the door. I walk over to it and peer through the peephole in the door. It's Speid. I let him in and he comes in visibly upset, holding Katie's hand.

"Speid, what's wrong?" I ask.

He looks at me, visibly shaken.

"Katie, go into Zach's room and try to get some sleep. There's an extra toddler bed in there, sweetheart," Speid tells his daughter. She nods and yawns and heads toward Zach's bedroom.

"Speid, what's wrong?" I ask again.

"She's gone," Speid whispers. "I came home and Katie was asleep in her bedroom and Karma had left a note on the kitchen counter. She told me she had left about fifteen minutes before I was due home, so Katie wasn't alone for long. But what am I going to tell Katie? How am I going to tell her that her mother cares more about fame and money than she does about her own child? More than she cares about me?"

I'm completely shocked. I know Karma's always been addicted to the spotlight, but I didn't think she would just leave like this.

"Jude, my marriage is over. I just thought I should let you know. She's going to come forward and say that I'm the father of your child... just to give herself a little more sympathy in the eyes of her fans. She's going to make me out to be the cheating husband."

"Speid, I'm so sorry..." I say, at a loss for words. "I'm leaving in about an hour. My cab is taking Zach and I to the airport. We're going to Vancouver."

"Let me go with you," Speid says instantly. "I can bring Katie with me. I don't want you traveling alone."

"Are you sure?" I ask incredulously.

"I'm positive. You've been there for me through the roughest of times. At least let me be there for you now." His voice is strong and resolute.

"But what if Karma decides to sue you for custody?" I ask, worriedly.

"She won't. She doesn't want anything to do with Katie. The way she seemed to say it, having a child was just another thing that she couldn't handle right now. She wanted her fame and now she's going to get it."

I digest this information slowly. I'm still not sure.

"Jude... please?" he asks again.

"Okay," I finally say. "But why do you want to come with me so badly?"

"You know exactly why, Jude," Speid says softly, cupping my face in his hand. "You've been there for me when no one else has been."

"But your clothes, Katie's things?" I say. Suddenly, everything seems rushed.

"I brought some of Katie's things," Speid says, gesturing to a small suitcase on wheels. "I can just buy some things in Vancouver. I've got a toothbrush and a hairbrush and other than that, I'm fine for now."

"Okay," I say. "We've got about thirty minutes. Are you going to explain to Katie what happened to Karma or where we're going?"

"I guess I'll tell her that we're going out of town. But other than that, I'm not going to go into details right now. I don't want to just tell her that her mother is gone and isn't coming back, either."


Speid and Katie and Zach and I just got on the plane headed for Vancouver. Zach has never been on a plane before and he's really excited.

"Mommy, Mommy, when does the big plane fly?" he keeps asking me.

"Soon," I reply.

"Katie, we're going to be going up, up, UP into the air!" he squeals.

"I know, silly. I've been on planes before. Duh..." she looks at Zach like he's the silliest thing she's ever seen.

They are too cute. Speid wraps his arms around his daughter.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's try and get some sleep."

"But Daddy, there's gonna be turdgelence and I can't sleep with the turdgelence!" Katie says exasperatedly.

"Honey, it's turbulence, not turdgelence," Speid gently corrects her.

"I don't care. Mommy said I could call it turdgelence if I wanted, so that's what I'm going to call it."

He rolls his eyes. The plane slowly takes off. After the turbulence subsides, Katie curls up to her dad and dozes off. His head slowly leans to the side as he falls asleep. They look so peaceful together.

"Mommy?" Zach asks me.

"Yeah, baby?" I reply.

"When's the baby going to be here?" he asks, putting one hand on my belly. The baby kicks against his hand.

"I can feel her move," he says, awestruck.

"You think the baby is a girl?" I ask him.

"Yeah. I think I want a sister. Katie's nice. Mommy, can Katie be my sister?"

I laugh.

"Honey, I don't think things work like that. You'll have your own new baby brother or sister soon."

"Okay. Mommy, marry Uncle Speid. I like him."

"Things just don't work like that, okay?"

"Mmnkay," Zach says. He cuddles up to me and slowly drifts off to sleep. I can't stop thinking about what he asked me though. I don't know why.

xXxJudexXx


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