Title: PEACE AND WAR
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Sailor Moon.
Authors Note: Sorry Ella. I'll try to update as fast as I can but because I'm posting as I write chances are I won't be able to post more than one chapter at a time unless I have the whole day free or something. If that is ever the case, I'll finish the story. I totally get the impatient for the next chapter thing. I'm like that to when I really get into reading someone's story. I'll try!
Thank you everyone else who reviewed! It really means a lot to me. Keep letting me know what you think!
Darien sat quietly at his desk with the window open and a light breeze breathed fresh air through his hair. He tried to rest his mind, but the resent battle played over and over in his head. He could see every man he had killed lying on the mud soaked ground and every time he closed his eyes he could hear their cries of anguish. Every man he had killed had a family. Their king had walked up to the wives of the dead soldiers and presented them with the swords of their husbands. If that was even their custom. Hundreds had died.
He reached up and rubbed his shoulders, trying to work the tension out of them. He couldn't remember the last time he felt relaxed. All he could remember was this pain running through his body, like it was a disease attached to this war that only winning would cure. If he ever found rest from one, then maybe the other would simply dissipate.
He thought of Serenity. Did she feel this kind of tension in her body? Did her mind even allow tension to fester until it turned into something ominous? Her concern over the lady Lita had not come as a shock to him, but the fact that she had asked him what their custom was in dealing with it proved that she was truly trying to adapt to their world. Was there hope for her after all?
He saw her beautiful eyes in his mind and drifted his eyes closed. There she was, looking at him with that pure innocence that was both unsettling and unique. It lasted almost a full minute before the war assailed his vision again. But a minute was enough. It was all he needed to feel settled. One whole minutes escape from the war. There hadn't been anyone who could give him that one minute in a long time.
The door slowly opened, revealing a servant with a tray.
Darien looked at the man through the corner of his vision. He didn't remember asking for anything to be brought to him, and he didn't recognize that man.
He closed his eyes, listening to the movements the servant made. He walked quietly. Most servants shuffled around. The tray was placed slowly on his desk, not on the table where it was supposed to go. He kept his eyes closed as the servant tip toed around the desk. Darien didn't flinch when he heard the unmistakable sound of metal grinding against a sheath.
In a way, wouldn't it just be easier to die?
Serenity sat quietly as Lita cried painfully beside her. She kept her arms tightly around the taller girl, wishing she could simply take away her pain. She could feel her own heart pulling at her tightly, but she willed herself not to cry.
Is this what war was? The devastation so obviously portrayed through Lita's broken tears was the result of a war. How many people had lost those close to them because of war? It simply didn't seem worth it.
Lita looked up at her. Her face stained with tears. She looked broken.
"Why are you hear?" She sobbed out. "You didn't know my husband."
"No, I didn't," she answered softly. "But I know you and I care about you."
She rubbed her eyes trying to stop the tears.
"I just don't understand. He was strong and able. He has always returned before."
Serenity just nodded.
"I always knew this might happen, but I didn't think that it would so soon. We were married less then a year ago. And now I am a widow."
"How did you meet?" She asked trying to seem lighter.
Lita smiled despite her grief. "He lived beside my families estate. When I was a child, I used to run away from my parents when they talked about marriage. I always thought I ran so far, but it was really only a couple of miles. He is a little older than me and would take me in and protect me. It became our custom to meet after that, and I grew to love him."
Serenity smiled. "It must have been nice to marry the man you love."
Lita just smiled and nodded. For a moment her grief seemed to settle so that at least she was in control of her emotions. She looked at the blonde girl sitting with her full of concern and love.
"Will you marry the man you love?" Lita asked.
Serenity shook her head, but she did not look sad.
"I will marry the person who will help my country sustain its peace. My mother told me I may not know the man I marry but I might one day grow to love him. I hope with all my heart that that is the case, and I would be extremely happy in life if it is."
Lita looked at her curiously. "You really believe you can be happy no matter what?"
"Of course I do," Serenity said. "I am not as clueless about life as people seem to think I am. I do understand that sometimes you find yourself in situations that are not ideal. But there is always a way to make the most of it."
"How might I make the most of my situation?"
Serenity hesitated. She didn't want to offend her.
"You loved your husband very much, so it is only natural that you will grieve for him. Do so in your own way, but also try to realize what he would want for you. I am sure he would want you to be happy. Allow yourself to grieve, and then realize that you were fortunate enough to marry a man who you loved, and for a whole year you were allowed to nurture that love and be happy with it."
Lita shook her head.
"But how can a year seem like a long time when it was so short."
"When you understand that you might not have ever met him and therefore never been as happy as you were. That one year might not have even been one minute."
Lita just looked at her quietly.
"Have you ever been in love Serenity?"
She shook her head. "I have loved many people. My mother, my friends and all my family. I have loved the people I have met and the people I haven't. But I have not ever given my heart to someone in that way."
"Do you think you want to?"
"Yes, I do," Serenity smiled. "I know that love can end and be painful, but I also know that it can be the one feeling that can make any evil seem so small. I hope to one day feel that love."
"Your ideas and views are so foreign here Serenity. I wish I might be as carefree as you."
Serenity smiled. "My mother thinks she did me a falsehood by bringing me up in innocence. She says that now the shock of this war may be to much for me to handle."
"Do you believe that?"
"I believe that in many ways I am to innocent for my own good, but I also believe that some of the people here are exactly my opposite. There is such things as being to hard and worldly. I much rather be innocent and happy with the ability to love and cherish then to be full of knowledge and bitter for it."
"I know you are speaking of the King," Lita said softly. "I have known him since I became friends with Raye. He is a hard man, but he wasn't always so. There was a time he dreamed of peace."
"What happened to change that?"
"One war after another," Lita said shrugging. "When the old King died, Darien took the throne and has never stopped working towards his idea of rest. He simply wants to stop the war. Since he's become King, he has fought longer and harder then anyone else I can remember. If he can't stop it, it will be his undoing. I believe he has lost the people close to him in the past and therefore has decided to no longer let anyone close. That way he won't be hurt."
Serenity felt her spirits fall at the idea that he was losing this battle with himself. But there wasn't really anything she could do to help him. She rubbed Lita's back and tried to smile. She would focus all her energy on helping her new friend in need, but her mind continued to drift to the King and his apparent heart of stone.
Serenity walked with Mina and Lita in the gardens. The sun had finally come out to grace the land with light and she couldn't stay inside. Amy was diligently studying the war, but Serenity could not think of war on a day like today when everything was bright and beautiful.
She sighed in happiness and Mina giggled at her.
"What shall we do today?" Serenity asked after a moment.
"What would you do on any other day?" Lita asked.
"That would depend on the sun," she said smiling up into it. "If the sun is shining, then the world is awaiting our arrival and we can choose anything we want of its splendors."
Lita couldn't help but smile. "You speak like you're quoting poetry."
"Poetry is only another way to express your emotions," Mina said lightly. "It can be beautiful or dark, just as ones mood."
"Where is Raye today?" Serenity asked.
Lita was slightly taken back that Serenity didn't use her title, but she didn't say anything.
"Raye has forever been in love with horses. She has gone to town with one of Darien's personal guards to see about purchasing a colt that was just born from two champions. She will be gone most of the day," Lita answered.
"Which guard?" Mina asked.
"It is usually Jedeite that the King charges with protecting his sister," Lita answered.
"Is that the black hair one?" Amy asked.
"Yes."
"It would be wonderful to ride our horses through the country," Mina said happily. "Perhaps we may see about borrowing some form the stables."
"You will have a hard time with that," Lita said. "Most horses are saved and trained for the war. Not many will be content to simply run cross-country. But Raye might have one or two that are tamer. She helps train every horse she gets and feels an attachment to every one. I am sure there are a few suitable for a small journey."
"Well, that must wait until tomorrow I suppose," Serenity said.
"We could play a game," Mina said. "Only we do not have even teams."
"Why don't we see if Amy is willing to stop reading for just long enough to even out our teams," Serenity said. "If she is then we are decided."
She took Lita's hand and led her back towards the castle. But once they got in, it seemed there was a flurry of activity.
"Mina, can you find out what is happening?" She asked softly.
Mina walked away from them and into a crowd disappearing from sight.
A moment later, Lita was called away by a servant to finalize the preparations for her husbands funeral which was to take place the next day. Serenity offered to accompany her, but she gently refused.
She found herself alone in the castle and sighed. She would just have to find Amy on her own.
She remember the way to the library and was there within a few minutes, but Amy wasn't nowhere to be found. She looked around the empty room and felt small. Why was the rest of the castle so busy and yet nobody was in the library? She walked in and out of the long rows of books, trying to find a clue as to where Amy might have gone.
"Good afternoon my lady."
Serenity spun around in surprise at hearing a voice so close to her. Her heart pounded in her chest as the man walked into view. But she felt herself slightly relax. It was the same man she had seen the first day the guest had arrived with the long pale hair that fell gently behind him. It was also the man Darien had reprimanded for talking about her during a discussion of war.
"I didn't mean to startle you," he said bowing gently. "I am Lord Edmond. I assure you that I mean you no harm."
Serenity took a deep breath to steady herself. "It is fine, I assure you. You only startled me. I did not realize that you were here. I'm looking for one of my ladies. She said she was spending most of her day in here and I can't seem to find her."
"I believe she left when it happened," he said.
"When what happened?" Serenity asked.
He looked at her confused. "Surely you've heard."
She just shook her head.
"There has been an attempted assassination on the King," he said smoothly.
Serenity all at once felt her heart beating in her ears at the idea of someone trying to kill the King. The idea of it sent horror through her body. Who on earth would do something like that. Worry for him suddenly crowded into her mind leaving no room for anything else.
"Is he alright?" She whispered in shock.
Lord Edmond nodded slowly. "The attempt failed, but the castle is to be secured."
Serenity could only nod as the shock stubbornly stayed with her.
"I have to go," she said quietly, turning away. "Please excuse me."
"Wait, what is your hurry?" He asked her.
She looked back at him, trying to think of something to say while deciphering the meaning of the question.
"I assure you that he is not hurt. Why should this event spoil our first real meeting? You can visit with him once he allows visitors."
Serenity looked at him oddly.
"I'm sorry my Lord, but I could not think of forming a new acquaintance when my mind is so ill at ease. I hope that we will have another interview, but I must ask to take your leave now."
She went to walk away again, and was surprised to find him standing in front of her after only a few steps, blocking her way. Suddenly she realized that she was here with him and without a guard or her ladies.
"I only want to get to know you," he said gently. "A beautiful woman like you must love forming new acquaintance."
"Please sir, I promise you will get to know me at a later more appropriate time."
"You have already been here two weeks and I have not yet had that chance."
Serenity didn't know what to do. Was he trapping her? She had assumed him to be a gentleman. She could feel fear rise up into her throat. It exploded within her when he grabbed her wrist.
She tried to pull herself out of his grip, but he held to her tightly. She couldn't understand why he was doing this to her. What had she done to cause him to act like this?
"Please, let me go," she said in a weak voice.
"Why are you so eager to run?" He seemed to laugh at her.
"My ladies will be wondering where I am," she tried.
"They will find you when they do, but for now you are with me."
Serenity was almost paralyzed with fear when he pulled her to him. She could feel his hot breath touch her, and she felt she might pass out from the pounding in her chest. Why was he doing this?
She felt her shoulder press painfully against some books to big for the shelf and cried out.
"Lord Edmond."
Both of them looked towards the commanding voice and she felt Lord Edmond stiffen. She had never in her life been so happy to see the King. His four guards stood behind him with hands on their swords.
Lord Edmond released her and smiled.
"We were simply getting to know one another," he said casually, looking at her. She rubbed her wrist trying to stop the harsh pain but it was persistent. She shrank away from him. In that moment, she felt weak. She had never felt weak before.
"I think it is best that you leave," Darien said fiercely.
Lord Edmond seemed to lose his courage and gulped, and then bowed deeply and walked out of the room. At the last moment he looked back at Serenity and gave her a lust filled look.
She felt sick.
She didn't move when the King came up to her. She didn't look at him or acknowledge him. She could feel his eyes penetrating her but could not look up to see him gloating over her. He had been right. She was not strong.
"Are you alright?" He asked softly.
Serenity nodded, still not looking at him. Her eyes were filled with despair as she rubbed her wrist. When he reached out to touch her, she jumped away from him.
"I won't hurt you," he said trying to be kind.
She just shook her head, trying to stop her tears.
"Serenity, I promise you that you're safe."
"Don't," she said in a haunted voice that seemed to chill Darien. "Don't promise me that you're going to protect me. You have no interest in protecting me."
"That's not true," he said taken back.
She finally looked up at him.
"Isn't it?" She said sadly. Her voice wavered. "You said that I do not know what it is to be strong in the real world. You said that I'm a stubborn little child. Well I guess you were right, I am weak."
She tried to get past him put he gently took her arms so that she was looking up at him.
"Serenity, why aren't you fighting this?"
She looked at him confused.
"I'm sorry about what I said to you, but you can still prove me wrong. I'm sorry that this happened but do not let him scare you. If you want to show me that you're strong, then be strong and fight it. What makes you think you can handle a war if you can't handle this?"
She looked at him, trying not to cry.
"I can't handle a war," she said softly.
He looked at her with pity, she could read it in his eyes. She tried to pull herself together, but could not find it in her to try and be happy.
"Are you alright?" She asked after a moment. "I heard about what happened to you. Are you hurt?"
Darien shook his head.
"The attempt failed, and so will the next one. Attempts on my life are simply apart of being a king. You should not fear for me every time I am in danger."
"Let me go," she said gently.
He hesitated a moment before doing so, and then she walked quickly from the room. As soon as she was out of his sight she cried. She couldn't stop it. She walked all the way back to her room and closed the door. The last time she had cried she was a small child. Tears were not her way of dealing with things. But this time she could not hold them in.
Darien paced back and forth in the library. The only reason they had come here was to get away from the madness happening within his study. He had easily beaten the man and disarmed him. But the idea that he had been able to sneak into the castle meant they needed to be much more secure.
"You're making me nervous," Zoicite said. "Can you stop that."
"She'll be alight," Jedeite said with concern in her voice.
"Will she?" Darien asked. "The women here would have shrugged that off and gone on with their lives, but she's not from here. She looked like someone had violated her and we got there before anything happened."
"Darien, she's just no like us," Kunzite said.
Darien looked at him. It had been a long time since they had called him by his name, and he could see by the way Kunzite sort of jumped that he realized what he had just done. Darien just sighed. She wasn't like them at all. Nothing about her fit in with this world and Darien felt it. Why was he so eager to break her?
"Why are we trying to make her more like us?" He said softly.
"What do you mean?" Nephrite asked.
"I've been trying to show her that she's not ready for war, but maybe it's not that. Maybe she's just not made for war."
"Nobody is," Zoicite said. "We just have to deal with it."
Darien tried to clear his thoughts. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"Who was the attacker?" He asked about the attempt on his life.
"We're not sure," Kunzite answered. "He's not talking and there were no clues on his person."
"We'll find out," Jedeite said.
"I know we will. For now, let's focus on the war. We've won another battle, but their army is far from defeated. We need to see this thing done with. We will gather up our army and hit them with full force. They will not be expecting an attack of that magnitude."
"Yes your majesty," Nephrite said. "I will inform the army."
"Good. We set out again in one week."
He looked out the window at the sun shining high and bright in the sky. Serenity had been waiting for a day like this for weeks, and now she would stay the whole day hidden where nobody would find her. The thought pained him.
End of Chapter Six!
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