Summary: Harry has been beaten by the Dursley's his whole life. One night he comes home late and Vernon beats him. Harry lay in his bed thinking; finally, he decides to run away. What happens when he meets up with someone that is going through that exact same thing that he is? Will a relationship form? What about the person that Harry loves? What will happen to Voldemort? Who will win the war? Read to find out.
This story will be rated for the following reasons:
Violence (abuse)
Language
Nudity/Graphic Sex (in later chapters)
Self-harming
Other
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot, and a few other things that will appear in later chapters. I don't own Perfect by Simple Plan.
Note 2 This chapter I'll be focusing more on Draco.
Chapter 6:Draco's Thoughts and Crimson Relief
Draco Malfoy woke up in a cold sweat; he had been having this reoccurring dream for the last week. Well, it wasn't exactly the same every night, but it was about all the times that he had had to endure his father's beatings because he had done something to displease him.
Draco sighed; he really needed a cigarette. He opened the hangings around his bed and stood up. He walked over to his desk and took a cigarette out of his pack and lit it, he looked at the clock, it read 12:16. Draco had his own privet rooms because he couldn't be bothered with the incompetent fools that he would have had to share a dormitory with, had he decided to stay there. Draco took a long drag of his cigarette as he sat down on the chair in front of his desk.
Draco sighed, he really needed to ask his godfather for a dreamless sleep potion. He couldn't keep having these dreams; they were driving him mad. It was bad enough that he had already endured his father beating him, he didn't want to keep reliving them, he just wanted to forget that they had ever happened. He took a long drag of his of his cigarette as he leaned back on his chair; the front two legs of it were off the ground.
Draco set the chair on the floor properly when he heard a pecking sound at the window. He had one of few very rooms in the dungeon with a window in it, he had specifically asked for it, it had taken him a lot of talking to finally convince the Headmaster to let him have it. Draco took a drag of his cigarette as he stood up and walked over to the window, letting the bird in. The bird was his eagle, Slayer, he had been given a few months before he went to Hogwarts. Slayer flew in and landed gracefully on Draco's desk.
"Hey, girl, what have you got for me?" Draco asked his bird as he walked back over to his desk. Slayer held out her leg and stood perfectly still while Draco untied the letter.
'Draco,
I just got out of a Death Eater meeting. I was talking with the Dark Lord and he wants to see you at Christmas to give you the Dark Mark. He said that because I'm one of his most loyal supporters that you don't have to go through all the other initiations, but he also said that you could if you wanted to. I expect you to come home during the Christmas holidays, if you don't I will be very disappointed in you and I'll have to go there and bring you home by force. I know that you wouldn't want that.
I expect you to do as I say and make me proud; I'm tired of being disappointed in you all the time. I can't even remember one time that you've ever made proud. By getting the Dark Mark, you will redeem yourself in my eyes. I've given you so many chances to make me proud, and you've always failed. This is your final chance, and if you don't, then, you will no longer by any son of mine, I will have no son, and I wont care if the Dark Lord kills you because I will no longer be burdened by your existence.
So make me proud or face the consequences.
Your Father.'
Draco sighed; he took a long drag of his cigarette as he put down the letter from his father. All his life, Draco had always tried to make his father proud but it felt like no matter what he did it was never good enough for Lucius. Lucius was right, he had given Draco so many chances but he had failed ever time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------Flash Back--------------------------------------------------------------------
A six-year-old Draco Malfoy ran down the hallway in the Malfoy Mansion toward the library on the next floor down, where he knew his father would be, with a paper clutched tightly in his little hand. He had just had the writing test that he had taken yesterday given back to him; he received an A minus on it, he wanted to show his father and make him proud.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Draco shouted excitedly as he ran into the library and up to the leather chair next to the fire that his father was sitting in.
"What is it, son?" Lucius asked as he put down the book that he was reading.
"Look," Draco said, bouncing up and down as he handed the paper to his father. He had a gleeful smile on his face as he looked up at his father expecting praise for the mark he had accomplished, but the praise never came.
"Pathetic, Draco. I expected better then an A minus from you. You disappoint me," Lucius said.
Draco's smile became a sad frown when he heard what his father said. Draco's eyes become tearful as his father looked at him with disappointment etched in his eyes. Lucius, then, tore up the paper and threw it into the fire. Draco ran out of the room as he cried.
'From now on, I'm gonna try my hardest and make daddy proud of me,' Draco vowed to himself as he ran into his room and cried himself to sleep. What his father had done had really hurt Draco.
----------------------------------------------------------------End of Flash Back----------------------------------------------------------------
Draco sighed as he remembered that day, he had kept that vow to himself to make his father proud, but he had failed miserably. Draco took another long drag of his cigarette before his put it out in the ashtray on his desk and then started to contemplate his options. Receive the Dark Mark and make his father proud or choose not to get it and have his father disown him. Draco sighed as he weighed his options more carefully.
If he received the Dark Mark he would make his father proud of him, but it would only last until Lucius wanted him to do something else. Also, if he received it, he would have to take orders from a mad man. Draco knew that Voldemort had finally gone crazy, not that he wasn't before, when his only plans seemed to consist of killing Potter instead of trying to talk over the world. Voldemort would kill his own followers if that meant that Potter would be dead.
Voldemort was incapable of offering anyone power anymore because he was too intent on kill Potter. But what would happen after that? Draco knew that Voldemort was too far gone and that the only reason he was still alive was his determination to kill Harry fucking Potter.
No, Draco didn't want to take orders from a mad man. But if he didn't receive the Dark Mark then he would fail again and never be able to make his father proud of him. His father would disown him forever and would care if Voldemort killed him. All Draco ever wanted was to make Lucius proud of him and love him. Draco didn't want to disappoint his father again, but he didn't want to be in alliance with Voldemort.
Draco had no idea what he was going to do, he knew that he should do what he thought was best for himself, but he wanted to make his father proud of him. Draco had almost had enough of always doing what his father wanted him to, just to make him proud, but in the end always failing miserably. Whenever Draco would fail, his father would beat him or use the Cruciatus curse on him.
Draco sighed as he looked at the clock; it read 12:25. Draco knew that he should try to go back to sleep, lest he would be grumpy in the morning. He opened up the top drawer of his desk and pulled out some owl treats and fed them to Slayer.
"Night, girl," Draco said as he walked over to his bed, climbed him and pulled the hangings closed. It took him a while to fall back to sleep, but when he finally did it was a restless sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------Dream-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A twelve-year-old Draco sat on his bed in his private room, waiting for this father to come see him. Draco knew what was going to happen when his father arrived, he was going to be beaten. Draco curled into a little ball as he thought about what his father would do to him. Tears came to his eyes as he remembered what his father had done to him last time. Lucius had used the Cruciatus curse on him for two minutes, which felt like forever when your in pain.
Draco jumped a little when he heard the door to his room open; he knew his father had just entered. He heard the sound of Lucius's soft footsteps grow closer to where he sat on his bed. Lucius stood before him; Draco had to suppress a shudder when he saw the anger etched into his father's face and eyes. Draco sat perfectly still as Lucius sat down beside him.
"What the fuck was that?" Lucius asked; his voice was low.
"I'm sorry," Draco said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"How dare you lose to Harry fucking Potter! You're pathetic," Lucius growled as he smacked Draco across the back of the head, hard.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Draco said as the tears that came to his eyes earlier started to roll down his pale cheeks.
"Sorry isn't good enough! I expected you to beat him, especially since you've had Quidditch training since you were five! You've disappointed me yet again, Draco," Lucius said as he picked Draco up by the collar of his shirt and dropped him onto the floor.
Draco let out a whimper as his father's foot came in contact with his hip. Tears started to roll faster down Draco's pale cheeks. He tried to stop them, he didn't want to give his father the pleasure of seeing him cry, but they wouldn't stop, they just kept rolling freely down his cheeks.
"When are you going to do something right for once in your fucking life?" Lucius asked as he picked Draco up by the collar of his shirt again.
Draco knew that his father had seen the tears that wouldn't stop rolling down his cheeks. Draco had to bite back a scream as his father punched him, hard, in the eye.
"Cry baby!" Lucius spat as he punched Draco in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.
Lucius dropped Draco to the ground. Draco curled into a ball to prevent his father from damaging any internal organs his he was kicked again. Lucius withdrew his wand from his pocket and Draco's eyes widened before he shouted, "No, father, please don't! I promise that I wont lose to Potter again! Please father, no, don't!"
"Crucio," Lucius said calmly as Draco started to wither with pain. "Let this be a warning about what will happen next time you fail and disappoint me, son."
After Lucius said that he lifted the curse and walked out of Draco's private room.
-------------------------------------------------------------------End of Dream-------------------------------------------------------------------
Draco awoke with a start; the little hairs on his body were standing on end. He really hated the dreams where his father used the Cruciatus curse on him; it always made him remember how much of a disappointment he was to his father. Draco sighed, he stood up and walked over to his desk and grabbed a cigarette out of his pack and lit it, he looked at the clock, it read three thirty. Taking a long drag, Draco walked over to his closet and grabbed a sweater; he needed to go for a walk to clean his mind.
Before Draco left his private room he grabbed something from underneath his pillow and he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Taking a drag of his cigarette, Draco walked out of his room, he really didn't care if anyone saw, though, there was a unlikely chance that anyone would because it was so late at night, or early in the morning, however you wanted to look at it.
Draco left his room and let his feet guide him; he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going. Draco took one last drag of his cigarette before he threw it one the ground and stepped on it. Draco continued walking as he remembered a muggle song that he had heard over the summer. He had memorized it because he thought that he could relate to the song very well.
Hey, dad, look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to the plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
Draco sighed, the only time that he and Lucius had ever really talked was when Draco was being beaten, but Draco remembered a few times when he was a child when he and his father would play around and talk about random things. He really missed those days, now; it was like he didn't grow up the way that his father wanted him to.
Draco knew that his father wanted him to be a certain way, and Draco had done his best to be like his father wanted. Draco thought that he was exactly how his father wanted him to be, but he knew that he must have messed up somewhere if his father still wasn't proud.
Draco knew that his father thought he was wasting his time when he did things that he wanted to do, like just being a normal teenager and having fun. It always hurt Draco so much when this father always disapproved everything that he did, whether it was doing what was asked of him, or just having fun.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
Draco had always tried hard to make it in his father's eyes, he did everything he could to please his father, but nothing ever seemed to work. He just wanted to make him proud, he knew that he was never going to be good enough for Lucius and he couldn't pretend like everything was alright. It had become to much to do, it was hard to keep up his mask and act like he didn't care, but deep down, he did and it hurt him so much.
Lucius had tried time and time again to change him, to make him a certain way, but it never worked. Draco had, subconsciously, refused to let his father change him, he didn't want to change; Lucius couldn't change him, more matter how hard he tried. Draco, though, didn't know that he wanted to stay that way that he was, at least, he didn't know, yet. In time he would figure it out.
'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Draco knew that he and Lucius had lost everything that they had worked to build, at least. He knew that they had lost everything because nothing did last forever, everything changes, whether it was realized or not. No matter how hard anyone tried, everything changed, nothing could stop something from changing.
Draco was always guilty and was sorry that he couldn't be perfect like his father wanted him to. Draco would berate himself every night because he wasn't perfect, something his father wanted him to be. He wished so much to be perfect for his father, but his wish never came true.
Draco knew that it was too late for him and Lucius to go back to the way things were, when he was a small child. He really missed those days because he felt like he was perfect in his father's eyes. As he grew up, Draco had apologized profusely to his father; he had always said that he was sorry that he couldn't be perfect like Lucius wanted him to. Usually after that, he would be beaten because a Malfoy never apologizes and never tells anyone about his or her flaws, or so Lucius had always told him.
Draco looked up and realized that he was in front of the Room of Requirement. He had only found out about the room last year, but he knew how it worked. Draco sighed, he paced in front of the wall three times, thinking about a place that he could relax. He looked up and saw that a door had appeared on the wall; Draco walked over to the door, opened it, and went inside the room.
It was a comfortable room; it had a fireplace, a leather couch and loveseat, and a black four poster-bed. It looked almost identical to the room that he had stayed in at the Leaky Cauldron. Draco walked over to the leather couch that was placed in front of the fire and sat down as he sighed.
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
Draco tried not to think about the pain that he felt inside, the pain caused by his father, by his family, his friends. His father had caused him the most pain by far. Then his family, they were always putting him in the middle of family arguments that had nothing to do with him. They always made him feel like shit, like nobody wanted him around. His friends, well, they also made him feel like he wasn't wanted because they were never happy with anything he did or any of the choices that he made.
Draco wondered if his father knew that he used to be Draco's hero. The key words in that sentence, though, were used to be. After his father was sent to Azkaban, Draco quit looking up to his father, well, he didn't quit looking up to him, Lucius just wasn't his hero any longer. He didn't want to be like his father and be sent to Azkaban. Sure, he still wanted to be like his father and make him proud, but he didn't want to get sent to Azkaban for it.
Draco sighed; he remembered the days that he and his father had spent together, the good days. Now, though, they seemed so far away, like they had happened just not to him. As those days had started to go down hill, it started to feel like his father didn't care about him anymore.
Draco couldn't take the pain anymore; he reached into the pouch on his sweater and pulled out something shiny. It was a silver dagger with a snake wrapping around the hilt and a rose at the very end of the hilt. There was a hole on one of the roses petals with a red ribbon through it. Draco's godfather had given it to him before the end of last year and told him to use it well.
Draco planned on using it well, just not in the way that his godfather wanted him to. Draco sighed; he pulled up the sleeve of his sweater and looked at all the scars on his wrist. Some were old, some knew, some barely noticeable anymore, some pink because they were almost completely healed. He placed the dagger to an unmarked spot on his wrist and slid the blade across slowly, Draco had made sure that they blade was always sharp so that the cuts he was making on his arms were perfectly straight.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Draco had tried hard to make it through everything that was going on in his life but found that he couldn't. It was just to hard, that was when he started to cut, he wasn't really sure how he started, but he knew that it had helped him get through everything that he had went through and everything that was going on. Majority of the shit that he was going through was his father's fault because Draco had tried hard to make it through everything just so that he could make his father proud.
However, it always seemed that he was never going to be good enough for his father. Draco put the dagger to his wrist again and dragged it across, slowly. He watched as the blood flowed out. He couldn't stand to have another fight with his father because he knew that he was going to lose and be beaten in the end. As much as he told everyone that everything was all right, it wasn't. Everything was far from being all right.
'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Draco and Lucius had lost everything that they ever had together because nothing lasted forever, that's what Draco thought, at least. Lucius, on the other hand, had blamed Draco, saying that it was entirely his fault and that if he had actually tried to make Lucius proud, than no of that would have happened.
Draco had said that he was sorry that he had messed up and that he was sorry that he could be perfect like Lucius was and wanted him to be. Draco knew that after that, it was too late and they could never go back to the way things were before that happened.
Draco placed the dagger on his wrist again. As he slid it across his wrist his thought about how sorry he was that he couldn't be perfect, that he wanted to be perfect for his father. Draco knew that he was as far from perfect than anything else in the world. No matter how much his godfather told him that he was as close to perfect as anyone could get, Draco knew differently.
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
Draco watched the blood slid off his wrist on onto the leather couch. He knew that went he met up with his father, Lucius was going to say anything to make Draco receive the Dark Mark, but nothing was going to change the things that Lucius had said to him before. He knew that Lucius was going to try and make things better, but he also knew that nothing was going to make things right again.
After that would happen, Lucius would turn his back on him. Draco knew that Lucius couldn't turn his back on him because he already had. Draco couldn't believe that it was so hard to talk to his father, but he knew that Lucius would never understand what he was going through.
'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Draco knew that he had lost everything already, but he was content because he knew that nothing lasted forever. Though, he was still sorry that he hadn't make Lucius proud and that he wasn't perfect. He knew that it was too late to try and go back to the way things were before. He was sorry that during those times, though, that he hadn't been perfect for Lucius.
Draco sighed as he cleaned up the mess he had made on his arm and the couch. When he was done that, he put the dagger back into his pocket, and took out his pack of cigarettes. He took one out of the pack and lit it, he took a long drag of his cigarette as he put the pack and lighter back in his pocket.
He stood up and walked over to the door that led back to the hallway. Just has he was about to open the door, he heard the clock at the back of the school chime four times, signaling that it was four o'clock. He opened the door and walked back to his private room, he knew that he wouldn't be able to get any sleep, but he figured that he might as well try.
OMG! In sooooo sorry to everyone…I know that I said that I would have the next chapter up on Sunday and today's Monday! Shit! I'm sooo sorry everyone! Lol…anywayz…now that I've gotten that out…what did u guys think of this chapter?
I kinda thought that it sucked because I kept repeating a few things, but that's what kinda puts me in the mood…but, I usually only do that when I'm writing and there's a song in it. But I think for the rest of the story there's only going to be one more song! Lol…anywayz…Draco's song that he most relates to is Perfect by Simple Plan. And Harry's isn't My Immortal by Evanescence…lol…I no that u would think that but its not because I named the story My Immortal because it has almost everything to do with the plot! Lol
Anywayz…
I'd like to thank all my WONDERFUL reviewers!
Myniepheonix: lol…thanks for the review. You'll get to see were this is going a few chapters, hopefully about 3-5. lol…for having to make you wait that long.
Shakespeares Whore: Aww thanks for the complement! Yea I do some drugs…not the very serious ones though, just weed, hash, and on a very rare occasion E, oh, did I mention that I smoke? Anywayz, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Hittocerebattosai: lol…im glad you enjoyed it tones. And I'm glad that you cant wait to read more. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
MidnightsRose: thanks for the complement. I no I think that Vernon should die and burn in hell, too. Of course, everyone that I know says that I am the devil HERself…lol…they say that I rule over hell…lmao…that's only because im an evil little bitch…hehe…and its scary because everyone that I no that likes Harry Potter says that I'd be in Slytherin for my evil and manipulative and deceitful ways and that I'd be in Gryffindor for my courage and braveness and all that other good shit…lmao. OMG1! I'm rambling…again! Lol…anywayz…I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
WrittenWords: Aww thanks for the complement it really means a lot to me. Lol…yea that was the first rape scene I've ever written, so by you saying that it means SOOO much to me. I really hope that you like this chapter and thanks sooo much for the review it really made my day!
Jujube15: lol…what do you mean wizard-nuke that Dursley's? Lmao…yea you're right, though, Dumbledore is an old manipulative bastard! Lmao…have you read the sixth book yet? Lol…ill tell you why I asked that next chapter. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Hermione1208: lol…I take it that you like my story. Lol…anywayz…I hope that you like this chapter and thanks for the review.
Emeralddragon: lmao! I think I'll take that as u like this story…lol. Don't worry about Vernon; I've got plans for him. Lmao. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Hiero Kaze: Thanks, I know…within the next few chapters something special is gonna happen. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Mick the irish pirate: I'm glad that you love my story…lol. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
DarkerHeart: lmao…its okay I no people who've got like three times as many piercings as I've got…n I've only got 12…lol…my grandmother doesn't want me to get my tongue done because it can kill you if it gets infected or if you hit a certain vein…and she says knowing my luck that'll happen. Lol…she said that because I'm a total klutz and I'm accident-prone...lmao…anywayz…im glad you enjoyed that Snape scene, and yes, Harry and Draco do get together…but not for a while…lol…sorry…but things do start to happen between then within the next few chapters, hopefully. Anywayz…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
FroBoy: I'm glad that you like the last chapter. I hope enjoyed this one too and thanks for the review.
Nulla: lol, thanks, I'm glad you like my story so far. I dunno, I think its all a matter of opinion. But I've never really like Dumbledore all that much. But as you said I shall write as I want of course! Lol…anywayz thanks for the review and I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Elektra107: I know that I was sad…n I liked it when Harry talked about to Snape too. Lol…just wait until next chapter…I think that you'll like that one too. Lol…anywayz…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
The Dark's Desire: lmao, yea I no poor but hot Harry! Lol…I like his attitude too…it sound exactly like me…I swear AND talk about to teachers…I got suspend like a week ago fro talking about to my homeroom teacher AND my VP…yea…that wasn't the smartest thing Ive ever done…but luckily it was only a one day suspension AND it was indoors…damn…I broke down around 1 because I hadn't had my cigarette so my VP let me go to Tim Horton's…lol…it was awesome…anywayz…I'm rambling on…again.
Yea, I no…it was really hard for me to write…that's why I didn't make it all that graphic…lol…n yea, Dumbledore is like that in this fic! I really don't like him that much…lol…I only no you (now) and a few other people that think that Dumbledore is really like that. I mean seriously…he could be the next Voldemort if he wanted to, though, I would put it past him…but…Have you read the sixth Harry Potter book? If you have…all I've got to say about Dumbledore is…awww and serves him right, even though he was only trying to help…he got what he deserved for being that way to Harry.
Wow…I'm rambling on…again! That's twice in one response to a review…I've never done that before…I think that its my new record…lol…now…im gonna shut up before I start to ramble again…so…anywayz…thanks for the review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Dracorox418: I'm soooo happy that you love My Immortal…I'm a huge fan of Evanescence too. Thanks for that complement and I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Crying these bloody tears: (Chapter 1) I'm glad you enjoyed my story so far. And thanks for pointing out my mistakes…I'll fix than ASAP…lol
(Chapter 2) it's okay, I don't mind besides, it was creative criticism…but anywayz…criticism is good…depending on how you criticize someone…if you're calling them names than its not good…but the other kind is because it helps you learn from you mistakes and fix them. Anywayz…thanks for the complement (and criticism…lol)
(Chapter 3) thanks; I'm glad you love my story. And I'm glad that you can relate to some of the things in it. I've gone through everything in this story, except for the rape…lol…I've been trying to stop and you're right, it's hard. I would really appreciate you're help, it would mean a lot to me.
(Chapter 4) thanks, yea I smoke too…it's a really bad habit and it's hard to quit…I've tried a few times and I've failed. Your guess was close…anywayz…thanks for the reviews and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
NOW! For the moment that you've all been waiting for…MY AGE! Lol…I'm not sure how many people were really waiting for it but…oh well…lol…here's everyone that guess my age.
Jujube15: 17, 22, 34, 15
Draeconin: 15
Crying these bloody tears: 17
You were all very close! Now to reveal my age…DUN DUN DUN…
14!
Lol…for some of you than many be a shock…lol…but I'm going to be 15 on January 16! Lol anywayz…I hope you all enjoyed this chapter…please review and let me know what you all thought.
Until next chapter!
-Wykked As Syn
