Dear Journal,
The past 24 hours have been the most eventful in the history of the world.
After leaving Babies R Us with the baby shower décor in tow, Sadie, Tommy, and I piled into Tommy's Hummer and headed back to the house. My back had been killing me all day long. I really needed a nap. I had decided that if Tommy really wanted to step up and be a dad, then maybe I should at least let him see his kid. Keeping Zach away from Tommy was doing more harm than good anyway.
I walked into the house to see Katie and Zach asleep on the couch. I motioned for Sadie and Tommy to be as quiet as possible as they put the bags on the kitchen table. I headed to the bathroom, and as I headed to the bedroom, I heard strange noises coming from the bedroom. I pushed open the cracked door just a little and heard moaning.
"Oh! Yes! Speidy… harder! Deeper!"
Speiderman was behind Karma, pounding in and out of her from behind. The bed hinges squeaked as he picked up his rhythm. Karma's eyes were closed, a look of pure ecstasy written all over her face.
I couldn't speak. I was in shock. I turned to back out of the room and Speiderman opened his eyes at the last second and he caught my eyes in his.
"Jude, I—" he stuttered. I turned away and quickly waddled back toward the living room, trying to keep my hurt and anger under control. The pain in my back was getting worse and worse.
"Jude?" Sadie asked, once I got back into the kitchen, "Where do you want me to put these balloons?"
I bit my bottom lip. I closed my eyes and the image of Speiderman thrusting in and out of Karma popped back into my head. I quickly opened them again and turned around to find somewhere to sit down.
"Jude?" Tommy asked. "Is something wrong?"
I looked back at him helplessly. I was at a loss for words. Tommy had Zach in his arms, the little boy still fast asleep with no idea his daddy was holding him.
"Sp-Speiderman," I stuttered.
"What about him?" Sadie asked, coming over to lead me to a kitchen chair.
"K-K-Karma," I said, numbly.
"What about her?" Sadie asked patiently.
"Upstairs," I whispered. "Fucking like rabbits," I moaned.
Sadie's eyes popped open.
"Right now?" she asked me.
I nodded. I watched her anger flare and she headed over to the staircase.
"Jude?" Speid's voice called down the staircase. "Jude?"
"What the hell were you thinking?!?" Sadie roared. "You worthless, stupid-ass piece of shit!" she screamed.
Zach and Katie immediately woke up. Zach looked around, and finding himself in his daddy's arms, he rubbed his eyes and blinked, looking shocked.
Katie jumped and immediately ran over to Speid.
"Aunt Sadie, leave my daddy alone!" she cried.
Karma came downstairs, wrapped in only a sheet. "Speidy, what's going on?" she asked innocently.
"You know perfectly well what's going on!" I yelled at her. I lunged for her, but Sadie held me back.
"Tommy, take Zach outside," she instructed.
Tommy nodded. He stuck Zach on his hip and the two of them walked out of the apartment.
"I thought you loved me!" I yelled at him.
"What's Quincy doing here?" Speid asked, looking from me to the door. "I thought the whole point of us being in Vancouver was because of him!"
"It was!" I yelled. "But now I see who the real jerk is! You don't care about me at all obviously! You disrespected me enough not only to play with my emotions, mess with my kid's head, but to also go fuck your ex in my bed!"
"Jude, Karma and I are getting back together. It was just a misunderstanding," Speid said.
I paused, almost as if his announcement slapped me right in the face.
I felt a snap, like a rubber band against my stomach. I looked down and there was a large gush of clear fluid running down my legs.
"Jude," Speid started, his eyes wide. "Did your water just break?"
"So what if it did?" I cried. "It's not like you care! Go take your floozy wife and get out of here!"
"Jude, we need to get you to the hospital," Sadie said calmly.
"Mommy, are you having the babies?" Katie asked, looking scared.
"Katie, Jude's not your Mommy," Karma said. "I am. You need to start calling me Mommy again."
"But… I… why?" Katie asked, confused. She looked up at Speid.
"Jude, sit here for two seconds. I'm going to go get Tommy," Sadie said nervously.
"Should I call 911?" Speid asked, grabbing a nearby phone.
"NO!" Sadie, Karma, and I yelled.
"I'll be fine," I said. "The babies aren't coming yet. We've still got time."
Sadie dashed out the front door, leaving me with Karma and Speid. I felt a strong contraction this time. Bracing myself, I closed my eyes through the pain and gritted my teeth. Sadie ran back inside a few minutes later with Tommy and Zach and she ran upstairs to get my bag. I changed into some dry clothes and Tommy put Zach's car seat in his Hummer. He put him in the car and the bag in the middle of the backseat. Sadie helped me into the front seat and we pulled out of the driveway.
"Do you know where the hospital is?" Sadie piped up from the back.
Tommy groaned.
"Uhhh… It should be downtown, right? I mean, this is Vancouver. It's a pretty big city. How far out are we?" he asked, looking at me.
"I think we're about a good forty-five minutes from the city, Tommy," I panted as another contraction rattled me. "We're in Langley. If we head to White Rock, near the border, it's only twenty-five minutes away. Peace-Arch Hospital is right there."
"Good. You would know. Okay. Let's go. Jude, can you give me directions?" Tommy asked me.
"Yeah, I think so," I panted. "No problem."
"Sadie, start timing contractions, will you?" he barked.
"Yeah," Sadie said, pulling out her Blackberry.
"I want that!" Zach said, reaching for it.
"No, Zach!" Sadie reprimanded him. "I have to help Mommy. Mommy's having the babies!"
I was thankful that Zach realized the importance of the situation. He looked outside.
"Get on the Fraser and go left onto the Langley bypass," I calmly instructed Tommy. I was becoming increasingly aware that we didn't have much time left. I didn't want to scare either Tommy or Sadie, so I kept my mouth shut.
"Go down 56th Avenue," I said. "You're going to make a left on 152nd Street."
Tommy immediately floored the gas pedal and sped into the Emergency Lane.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sadie screeched.
"Another contraction," I said. This one was particularly painful. Sadie looked down at her Blackberry. "Umn… four minutes, guys."
Tommy cursed.
He headed down 152nd, skipping every single red light once the coast was clear. We turned on 16th Avenue and arrived at the back of the hospital. Tommy parked the car in front and grabbed a wheelchair from inside. He helped me into the wheelchair and gave Sadie the keys. She hopped into the driver's seat and parked the Hummer.
I had never seen Tommy run so fast. He rushed me to the desk, signed me in, and the lady immediately called someone who got me into labor and delivery.
They dressed me in a robe and Sadie and Zach came in and took a few pictures on her Blackberry. Sadie took him to go get something to eat at the McDonald's down the street.
The doctor finally came in and checked me. I was eight centimeters dilated. I was right. I'd been feeling like I needed to push the whole trip to the hospital. No wonder why.
The doctor said the twins were in good position for a vaginal birth, which I was very happy with. But, it was too late to give me any sort of epidural. So, I had to give birth naturally, with no drugs at all.
I knew childbirth was going to hurt, but no one told me that it was going to hurt this much. I felt so much pressure in my pelvis and back that I thought it was going to break. I kept begging for another contraction so I could keep pushing and hurry and get it over with. By the time the first baby was born, I was completely worn out. I heard her cry and I couldn't help but smile.
"It's a girl!" the doctor said. "And she looks healthy!" She turned her focus back to me. "Just one more left, Jude. On the next contraction, I want you to push."
"Come on, Jude. You can do it!" Tommy said, squeezing my hand.
"I can't do it. I can't!" I cried.
"Jude, the second baby is right here. I can feel her head. Push! You can do this!" my doctor said encouragingly.
I squeezed Tommy's hand and pushed as hard as I possibly could. I summoned up all of my remaining strength and willpower. Tommy sat up near my head, trying to do his best to cheer me on as our daughters were born.
They were so small, from what I saw of them. But they were absolutely beautiful. The doctors whisked them off to the NICU before I even got to see much of them. They cleaned me up and I spent about an hour in recovery before I demanded that I get to see them. The nurse said they were still making sure everything was okay with them and running tests. That just made me mad. I wanted to see my daughters!
The first baby weighed four pounds, twelve ounces. The second weighed four pounds, two ounces. Two absolutely gorgeous, beautiful baby girls. And they are ours.
Tommy and I sat down on my bed soon after and went through a few baby books. I sighed. I wanted to pick out something we would both like. I mean, Tommy had gone out of his way to drive me down here and even though I wasn't sure where our relationship was going, he still deserved to have a say in naming the babies.
"Can we name one Rosalie? Rose for short?" he asked me. "That was Ma Mere's name."
I thought a bit. Tommy's mother had really had a lot of influence on him as a child. The name would be perfect for one of the babies…. It would have a lot of meaning.
"The older one?" I suggested.
"Sure," he said. "I like it. Do you?"
I nodded. "Yeah." I opened up the French baby book next to my thigh and started searching for French middle names. "Hmn… Amélie, Belle, Camille, Claire, Élise, Giselle, Jolie…" I started listing off.
"Rosalie Camille?" Tommy asked, his eyes twinkling.
"You like that?" I asked him.
He nodded. "I do. A lot."
"Okay," I said. "Rosalie Camille Dutois it is." I had to admit. It had a nice ring to it. It was completely French. And it meant 'Perfect Rose.' The perfect name for a beautiful little girl.
"So I guess that means it's up to me to name the younger one," I said.
Tommy grinned.
"I think you're going to have a hard time beating my name," he challenged.
"It's not your name. It's Rosie's name," I sniffed.
I started flipping through the baby name book again.
"Violet?" I suggested. "Since Rosalie means flower? Violet is French," I suggested.
"Okay. If you want to name her that, then that's fine. Her middle name?" Tommy asked.
I bit my bottom lip in confusion. I had no idea on what to choose.
"Jolie, Isabelle, or Nouvel?" I asked Tommy. "I have no idea which to choose."
"Well, Jolie means 'pretty,' Isabelle means 'God is my Oath,' and Nouvel means 'new.' Which do you think fits better with Rosalie Camille?" he asked. "Perfect Rose and…"
"Well, if you want to think about it that way, then I think Violet Jolie would fit better. Perfect Rose and Pretty Violet," I said. "But does Violet Jolie Dutois sound okay?" I asked him.
"I think you just named our other daughter," Tommy said, smiling at me. "Rosalie Camille and Violet Jolie."
I smiled at him brightly. "Now, if I could just see them. Just to make sure their names fit them," I moaned. "Just a quick peek..." I pouted.
"I'll see what I can do," Tommy said, swiftly kissing me on the cheek. "I'm also going to go find our son. I'm sure he'd like to spend some time with his Ma Mere," he smiled.
This is a side of Tommy I haven't seen in such a long time. I sincerely hope it's here to stay. I don't know how much more heartache I can take. I really hope I'm not setting myself up for even more.
More later.
Love,
xXx Jude xXx
I worked hard on this chapter. I really hope it's everything you thought it'd be!!
Please review!!!
