Summary: Harry has been beaten by the Dursley's his whole life. One night he comes home late and Vernon beats him. Harry lay in his bed thinking; finally, he decides to run away. What happens when he meets up with someone that is going through the exact same thing that he is? Will a relationship form? What about the person that Harry loves? What will happen to Voldemort? Who will win the war? Read to find out.
This story will be rated for the following reasons:
Violence (abuse)
Language
Nudity/Graphic Sex (in later chapters)
Self-harming
Other
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot, and a few other things that will appear in later chapters.
Chapter 8: Occlumency, Talking to Remus, Arguments, and the Letter
It was Saturday night, Harry sat on his bed in the boys' dormitory, thinking. It had been almost a week since he had had that conversation with Snape, and it still freaked him out, somewhat. He never really knew Snape to be the type that was nice to someone that he supposedly hated. Harry had expected Snape to yell at him when he told the truth, not say that it was fine. Harry also expected Snape to refuse to teach him Occlumency again.
It was starting to really bothered Harry the way the Snape had been acting since the beginning of school. In classes, when Harry would mess up on a potion or something, Snape would tell him what he did wrong and how to fix it, if there was any way to do so. If there wasn't a way to fix the potion, Snape would tell Harry to start over and he could come back later that night to finish it.
When Harry would hand in an essay that Snape had assigned the night before, Snape, instead of giving him a zero, would actually mark it; point out the mistakes made so that Harry knew better for next time. Snape seemed really different this year, and it bothered Harry. Harry knew that Snape changed, he had told Harry so himself.
---------------------------------------------------------------------Flashback---------------------------------------------------------------------
It was Friday, and Harry had been in Potions. The bell had rung, signaling that class was dismissed. Harry was about to leave the classroom when Snape told him to stay. Harry walked over to Snape's desk and waited for the rest of the students to leave.
"Yes, sir?" Harry said.
"Potter, instead of having your Occlumency lesson on Monday night, you are to come down to my office Saturday night, same time, though," Snape said.
"Okay," Harry said. "Um, sir?"
"Yes?" Snape said as he started to prepare for his next lesson.
"I was wondering, on Monday, when I told you that I didn't know anything about you that I could use against you, how come you didn't freak out or take any points?" Harry asked.
"Because I was content that you didn't know anything and that you had enough decency to come and tell me the truth," Snape said simply.
"Oh, but, if I were to do that, say last year, you would have given me a detention and taken away a lot of points. So, what's with the sudden change?" Harry asked, he didn't know why he was asking these questions, he just was.
Harry knew that in one way or another it would help him figure out what Snape was hiding. He was still a little suspicious about Snape's behavior, though. Also, Harry couldn't figure out why Snape was being nice to him and was even answering his questions; that was what worried Harry the most, the fact that Snape was being nice to him and answering his questions.
"Because, Potter, people change. I've changed a lot over the summer. I was glad that you had come to me and told me the truth. It's better to tell the truth then to lie, because when you tell the truth you don't have to remember what you said. When you lie, you have to remember every single thing that you said." Snape answered.
"Right, who the fuck are you and what have you done with the Snape we all know and love to hate?" Harry asked, suspicion and sarcasm evident in his voice.
"Language, Potter, and I told you, I've changed," Snape said.
"Yea, I can see, if I were to say that last year I would have landed myself in detention and Gryffindor would have lost a fair amount of points," Harry said.
"Exactly," Snape said as he sat down on his desk.
"Um, sir, if you don't mind me asking, what made you change?" Harry asked.
"Well-" Snape started, but he was cut off when the second bell rang.
"Shit," Harry said.
"Just tell Remus that you were with me, he'll understand," Snape said.
"Okay," Harry said as he walked out of the classroom and made his way to his next class.
-----------------------------------------------------------------End of Flashback-----------------------------------------------------------------
Harry had been thinking about that conversation since it had happened. He knew that Snape had changed over the summer, that much was obvious, but why? That was what Harry wanted to know, if he knew why Snape changed, then maybe that would help him figure out what Snape was hiding.
Harry knew that it was wrong to take advantage of Snape's newfound kindness, but if he ever wanted to figure out what was going on with Snape, he had to. In a way, he was manipulating Snape, but he really didn't care. Of course, he knew that by manipulating Snape, he was doing the exact same thing that Dumbledore always did, and Harry didn't want to be like Dumbledore because that was just a scary thought.
Harry thought back more on what had happened yesterday after class, then he realized it. Snape had said Remus not Lupin. Harry realized that that had to be a clue about what Snape was hiding, but what could it mean? Harry knew from previous experiences that Snape always called Remus by his last name, so why did he stop?
Harry sighed; he was becoming confused. He really wanted to get to the bottom of Snape's strange behavior, but he didn't know how. He didn't even know why he was curious about it, he just was. It didn't make any sense to him, what was it to him if Snape was acting weird? And what was it to him if Snape had a secret that he didn't want anyone else to know about?
Looking at his watch, Harry noticed that he had ten minutes until he had to be at Snape's office. He stood up and left the boys' dormitory, and started to make his way down to the dungeons. Harry only hoped that Snape wouldn't be as hard on him as he was last year.
Then it hit him; he could use Snape's sudden niceness to his advantage. Harry figured that he could probably ask Snape anything and Snape would answer. Harry did feel slightly bad from taking advantage of Snape like that, but when life gives you lemons make lemonade, or so the old muggle saying goes. 'Maybe,' Harry thought. 'I could make some kinda truce with him, and use that to my advantage too, at least I wont feel so bad about asking him everything,'
When Harry looked up, he realized that he was standing in front of Snape's office. He cursed under his breath, next time he was going to pay attention to where he was walking because he knew that he could be walking outside one day, not paying attention to where he was going, and wind up getting lost or something.
Taking a deep breath, Harry walked into Snape's office. It was time to put his somewhat manipulative plans into action. Harry closed the door behind him; he saw Snape sitting at his desk, from what Harry could see it looked like he was marking papers. Harry walked over and sat in the chair in front of Snape's desk.
"Good, you're here on time," Snape said looking up from the papers he was grading. "Ready to start?"
"Yea," Harry said, standing up and moving to the other side of the room.
"Right, you know how it's done," Snape said as he stood up and moved to stand beside his desk. "On the count of three…one – two – three – Legilimens!"
He was nine, his uncle was hitting him repeatedly with a leather belt…he was thirteen, his uncle was hitting him and cutting his legs with a sharp knife…he was four, his uncle just pushed him down the stairs. His uncle went down the stairs and started kicking him in the stomach and the head…he was fifteen, he was sitting on his bed with –
"NO!" Harry yelled, he was on all fours on the ground, panting.
"Harry…" Snape said softly.
"Don't, I'm ready to try again," Harry said, standing up.
"Remember, repel me with your mind. Now. Legilimens!"
He was fourteen, he was sitting at the park near the Dursley's having a cigarette…he was one, Voldemort had just killed his father and was advancing on him and his mother, Voldemort killed his mother and had just tried to kill him…he was fifteen, he was watching Sirius fall threw the Veil…he was fifteen, he was dreaming about everyone blaming him for their deaths…he was sixteen, he was in the Astronomy Tower having a cigarette and looking at his –
"NO!" Harry shouted again.
"Harry…" Snape said as he started to walk towards the raven-haired boy.
"Stay away!" Harry said as he stood up. "Again."
"Harry…ready? Legilimens!"
He was three, his uncle had just threw a glass at him and it broke over his head…he was sixteen, he was talking to Remus on the train…he was seven, Dudley was beating him while the rest of his gang held him down…he was fourteen, his uncle was just about to –
"Enough!" Harry shouted. This time he was still standing.
"Harry, I think that that's enough for one night," Snape said.
"No, just one more time, I know I can do it," Harry said, his voice was a little shaky.
"Fine, once more. Legilimens!"
He was fourteen; was just about to steal something from his uncle's shed.
"No!" Harry said. He threw off the curse; he was still standing.
"Better, Potter, I only got to see one memory," Snape said.
"Shit! That's right, everything I see you do, too. For fuck sake's!" Harry said.
"Language, Potter," Snape said as he moved back over to his chair and sat down.
"I really don't give a shit about my language," Harry said. "Look, I'd better get going, the others are probably going to be worried about me," With that he stood up and walked out of Snape's office.
Harry didn't know where he was going to go, but he knew that he wasn't going back to the Gryffindor Tower; he hated it there. Instead, he let his feet take him somewhere, even thought he was going against what he had said earlier. Harry flicked his wrist and instantly his pack of cigarettes and lighter appeared.
Severus Snape sat in his private chambers thinking about what he had seen during Harry's Occlumency lesson. The raven-haired boy had been raped. He had been beaten since he was little. His uncle used fists, feet, knives, belts, probably anything he could get his fat hands on. Severus shuddered at the thought of what that poor boy had gone through in his life.
Severus had been nice to the young boy like Remus had said to, but it seemed that the boy was still suspicious, Severus couldn't blame him, though. If the meanest teacher suddenly started being nice to him, he would probably be suspicious, too.
Severus felt sorry for Harry, but he knew that the young man didn't want any pity or sympathy. Even though the raven-haired boy and Severus never really got along, Severus felt the need to help him because as a child, Severus had gone through some of the same things as Harry. He felt a pang in his heart knowing that Harry had gone through those things and was probably still going through them. Severus had a feeling that Granger and Weasley weren't really what they seemed, and that they weren't helping Harry out in the slightest bit.
Sighing, Severus stood up and left his private chambers, he really needed to talk to Remus to see what he thought about everything. Severus didn't have to walk far, though, because Remus had asked the Headmaster for a room in the dungeons. Severus was surprised when the meddling old man didn't ask any questions. Neither Severus nor Remus had told the Headmaster why Remus wanted a room in the dungeons, but they both had a feeling that the old man already knew, being his typical self, Dumbledore.
Dumbledore; how Severus hated that foolish old man. He was always meddling in things that he ought not to meddle in. The old man could never mind his own business, he always had to know everything that went on around him. Severus knew that when it came to how Dumbledore came to interacting with people, he was no better then the Dark Lord, they were both very manipulative. Severus knew that Dumbledore thought that he had him wrapped around his old wrinkled finger, but for once, it was the other way around. Severus made Dumbledore think that he was able to make anyone do whatever he wanted, but that was Severus' way of manipulating the old man.
Also, Severus didn't have a doubt in his mind that Harry had already figured out Dumbledore's plans to use him to defeat the Dark Lord and then leave him all alone after that. Anyone that could see through Dumbledore would have figured that out in a heart beat. Hell, even Remus knew that Dumbledore was no better then the Dark Lord.
Remus liked Dumbledore as much as he liked the Dark Lord, not at all. Severus knew that Remus trusted the foolish old man as far as he could through him. So, take away Remus' unnatural strength, add Dumbledore's height and weight divide by Remus' height and weight, that's not very far.
Severus sighed; he had reached the door that lead to Remus' private chambers. He knocked twice and waited for Remus to give him a sign that it was fine to enter. He didn't have to wait long though.
"Enter," He heard Remus say.
"You sound like me," Severus said.
"Severus!" Remus said as he stood up from his desk. "How did your lesson with Harry go?"
"Not well," Severus said.
"Oh no! What did you do?" Remus asked accusingly.
"I didn't do anything, it's what I saw. He knows I saw everything he did, and I don't think anyone even knows what he has gone through, I don't think that he wants anyone to even know what he's gone through," Severus said.
"Well, come, let's sit down and you can tell me everything you saw," Remus said as he took Severus' hand and led him to the couch in the other room, they both sat down. "Do you want a drink before you start?"
"What's the strongest thing you have?" Severus asked seriously. Remus only chuckled as he let go of Severus' hand, stood up and went to get the drinks.
"Here," Remus said as he handed Severus a drink and sat down next to him. "Now tell me everything that you saw."
Severus told Remus exactly what he saw, making sure not to miss anything. The two sat in silence, thinking, for a moment, until Remus broke it when he spoke.
"That's so awful, Severus," Remus said, he had grown quite pale throughout the time Severus was speaking.
"I know," Severus said as he took a sip of his drink.
"Are you sure that he was–" Remus asked, his voice a little shaky.
"Remus!" Severus said.
"Sorry, it's just that I don't want to believe something like that happened to him, you know?" Remus said as he intertwined his fingers with Severus'.
"I know. As much as I claimed to hate him before, I never really did, he was James' son for fuck sake's. Sure, James and I never got along in the beginning, but in the end were we like the best of friends," Severus said as he rested his head on Remus' shoulder.
"I know, and the only one that didn't accept you was Sirius," Remus with a sad look on his face. "Did you know that after you two became friends he was always talking about you?"
"Really?" Severus asked.
"Yes and it drove Sirius nuts," Remus said with a small laugh.
"I don't doubt it," Severus said. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Severus spoke again. "Remus."
"Yea?"
"Don't tell anyone about Harry, I think he'll tell people when he's ready," Severus said.
"Don't worry, I won't," Remus said.
"And don't mention to Harry that you know, I'm still trying to gain his trust and everything. You know as well as I do that it's going to be hard, seeing as I've been an ass to him for the last five years. And, I've got to do it without the Slytherin's knowing," Severus said.
"Yea I know, and I won't mention anything, so quit worrying," Remus said.
Harry wasn't sure where he was going; he just let his feet guide him. When he looked up, he realized that his feet had led him to the lake. Harry sighed; he walked over to the nearest tree and sat down, leaning his back against the trunk. He took a cigarette from his pack and lit it; he took a long drag and exhaled slowly. At the moment, Harry regretted asking Snape if he would teach him Occlumency again. He wanted to learn Occlumency, but he didn't want to remember his past in order to do so. He sighed, why did life have to be so complicated? He already knew the answer to that, because he was the Boy-Who-Lived. Even if for a little while, Harry wished that he could have a normal life and let someone else worry about what Voldemort was planning to do next.
Taking another long drag of his cigarette, Harry stood up and started to walk around the lake. Voldemort, he was the one that gave Harry such an awful life. If he had heard the entire Prophecy, then maybe it would have been Neville that had to deal with everything. Sometimes Harry wondered what it would be like if Neville was the one Voldemort had chosen. Harry knew that he wouldn't have any friends because they would all be with Neville trying to get some limelight. He knew that he would probably still have a bad home life. Harry sighed; he knew that he would still have an awful life, of course, that's the way that he saw it because he had a tendency to look on the negative side of things. In short, he was a pessimist.
Harry continued to walk around the lake, taking a drag of his cigarette, he sighed, he tried to image what the good things would be if he wasn't the Boy-Who-Lived. He would still have his mother and father, he wouldn't have Dumbledore meddling in his life, he would have real friends, he wouldn't have to worry about what Voldemort was planning to do next, he wouldn't have to worry about figuring out a way do defeat Voldemort. For the most part, he would be a happy teenager with a somewhat normal life.
A sharp pain in his stomach followed by a loud, long growl brought Harry back from the first happy thoughts he had had in a long time. Harry took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed, his stomach growled again, he put his hands on his stomach; it hurt so much. He hadn't eaten since he had had that piece for bread when he arrived at school, and he was hungry. Before that piece of bread, Harry hadn't had anything to eat for almost two weeks.
Ever since the beginning of the summer, Harry had only had one whole meal, and that was at the leaving feast and the end of last year. After the leaving feast until the present moment, Harry had only eaten four pieces of bread. He knew that most people would say that he had a Muggle eating disorder called Anorexia Nervosa. He did think of it like that, though, he thought of it more like, if he didn't eat then he was cleansing his body of sin; that was how he forgave himself for everything that he had done wrong. Every two weeks or so Harry would eat something, nothing big, though, a slice of bread or a few crackers, just to make sure that his body had enough energy to work with.
At first, Harry had stopped eating altogether, but he found out the hard way that doing that wasn't the best idea. So, he decided that he would slowly wean himself from food. He started out by only eating something like a piece of bread or a few crackers every other day. After about a month he would eat something every third day, after another month it was every fourth day. Another month, every fifth day, another month, every sixth day, another month, every seventh day, and so on and so forth. Now, he would only eat something every two weeks.
Harry took another long drag of his cigarette and exhaled slowly, now that he was eating every second week, he did plan on going any longer than that without food.
Harry had stopped eat after Cedric had died and he returned back to the Dursley's for the summer, he had fallen into a state of depression. It was about a week after he started to cut, he had just finished taking a shower and he looked in the mirror. Everyone had always told him that he was so skinny, but when he looked in the mirror, he thought that they were all wrong. In his own mind, he looked fat; that was when he had stopped eating altogether. Of course, that hadn't worked out so good for him. He had lied awake one night with a sharp pain that kept shooting through his stomach, he had gone almost five days without eating anything, and it hurt. He had tried drinking water to tame the pain, even if was only for a short while, but the water only made the pain worse.
That was when Harry knew that to stop eating altogether wouldn't work; he would have to slowly wean himself from food. So that was what he had done. Before he started to slowly take himself away form food, he had eaten two meals a day for the next week, then he started by only eating something small like a sandwich every other day. Then, after a month, he changed his little schedule slightly, he had started to eat something every third day, but he only ate one piece of bread.
For every month that passed, Harry ate less and less. When Sirius died, though, Harry fell into an even deeper state of depression, and by that time he was only eating once every twelve days. At the leaving feast, Harry knew that he had to eat something because Dumbledore and the rest of the staff had been watching him and because the leaving feast had happened to fall on the day that he could eat something. Harry had planned to only eat something small like an apple, but Hermione had pile a lot of food on his plate. Harry had had no idea was came over him, but when he saw how delicious the food had looked, he had wanted to eat it, and he did. His stomach was sore for a few days afterwards and Harry promised himself that he would never eat that much again.
Harry sighed; he took a long drag of his cigarette and walked back over to the tree that he had been sitting under earlier. He looked at his watch; it was almost seven o'clock. Hermione had given him a new watch for Christmas last year. He knew that his friends only gave him those kinds of things because he was the Boy-Who-Lived and they wanted him to think that they were his real friends, but Harry wasn't as stupid as people had liked to think he was, he saw right through everyone's plans.
Taking one last long drag of his cigarette, Harry threw it away. He knew that he needed to get back to the common room. Even though he knew that Ron and Hermione weren't really his friends, he had to make them think that he thought they were. Sighing, Harry stood up and started to walk back to the castle. It was already quite dark outside, even though it was so early in September; Harry reckoned that it was probably going to rain. Not even a moment after Harry stepped inside, rain started to fall gently from the sky.
Harry walked back to the Gryffindor Tower at a slow pace; he was in no way enthusiastic about returning to that ludicrous place, he hated it there. It was always too loud, it was as if nobody there had ever heard of the word quiet, let alone knew what it meant. Harry could never have any quiet or alone time when he was in the Gryffindor Tower, everyone always bothering him and nobody could take a hint that he wanted to be alone.
Harry was brought back to reality when the portrait of the Fat Lady spoke, "Password?"
"Bleeding Heart," Harry said quietly.
The portrait swung open, loud noises greeted Harry instantly, he swore that one of these days, probably in the not so distant future, he was just going to yell at everyone to be quiet and to stay quiet. Harry sighed; he stepped through the hole in the wall and entered the common room. He looked around the room to see that there were only about ten people there and in the farthest corner he saw Ron and Hermione talking. 'Maybe I can get up to the dormitory without them seeing me,' Harry thought as he started to make his way across the common room to the stairs that led up to the boys' dormitory. Harry smirked as he made it to the fifth step without Hermione or Ron seeing him.
"Harry!" someone called.
Harry sighed mentally. 'Well, so much for getting there without being seen,' he thought bitterly. Couldn't he ever be left alone? Why did everyone always have to bother him? Harry was starting to become annoyed, all he wanted was to be left alone, but nobody seem to understand that, nobody seemed to care about what he wanted, they only cared about what they wanted.
Nobody had ever seemed to consider the fact that he wasn't fine, that he was only acting like things were alright, nobody cared about what was good for him, nobody cared to ask how he was or anything because they were all too wrapped up in there own lives and they only thought of him as the Boy-Who-Live, someone to defeat Voldemort, nobody ever thought of him as just a normal teenager. Nobody ever thought that maybe he had any problems; nobody ever thought that maybe there was more to him that met the eye. People only cared about his physical condition; they didn't care about his mental and emotional conditions. They only cared about if he could defeat Voldemort, they didn't care if his was mentally and emotionally ready and able to defeat the mad-man.
It was so infuriating the way that people overlooked the fact that he had problems, he was the Boy-Who-Lived, he wasn't supposed to have problems. Also, it infuriated him to no end that nobody could take a hint that he wanted to be left alone for once.
"Hey, guys," Harry said, putting on a fake cheery voice and smile, he was putting his mask on more securely. Even though he wanted people to notice that he wasn't fine, didn't mean that it was going to go around acting like how he felt. No, they would have to figure it out on their own.
"Where were you, Harry? We were starting to get worried," Hermione said as she moved to stand beside Ron.
"I went out," Harry said nonchalantly, they didn't need to know where he was or what he was doing; it was none of their business. He moved around Ron and Hermione and went to sit on the couch near the fire.
"Where did you go, though?" Hermione asked.
"Out," Harry said in a voice that meant that it was the end of the topic.
"Ok, but where were you?" Hermione asked, ignoring the tone of Harry's voice.
"I went out, what does it matter where I went?" Harry asked; he felt his temper rise the slightest bit.
"It matters where you went because we were worried about you, we were starting to think something had happened to you," Hermione said. 'Well, that proves my point,' Harry thought angrily.
"You'd be more worried if you couldn't find your homework," Harry snapped.
"Harry! You know that's not true!" Hermione said.
"Whatever, Hermione, just keep telling yourself that, you might start to believe it," Harry said in a cold, sarcastic tone.
"Harry, listen…" Hermione said softly.
"No, Hermione, you listen! I've had enough of you meddling in my fucking life! You can never mind your own goddamn business! I don't have to tell you everything I do!" Harry shouted, by now all the people in the common room were looking at the trio.
"Harry! Don't you dare talk to Hermione like that!" Ron shouted, finally coming into the argument.
"Stay out of this, Ronald! And I'll do whatever the hell I want!" Harry snapped.
"Don't call me that! And I'm not staying out of this!" Ron said defiantly, his ears had started to turn a light red.
"Yea, Ronald, you are, this has fuck all to do with you!" Harry in a cold, too calm voice. Harry knew that when he used that tone of voice, Ron knew to back off.
"It has everything to do with me!" Ron shouted; his tinted light red ears started to become redder.
"Oh, that's right, because it involves Hermione," Harry said sarcastically. "I forgot, you'd never pass up the chance to be on Hermione's side!"
"I never said I was on Hermione's side!" Ron shouted.
"I know, but it's obvious that you are! And I really don't give a shit! You're no better then her! You're both always meddling in my life! Neither of you can mind your own fucking business!" Harry shouted back, anger slightly evident in his voice.
"Look, Harry, I know you're having a rough time, but, please, don't take it out on us. I understand what you're going through," Hermione said in a calm voice.
"I'm not having a rough time! I've had enough of people always meddling in my fucking life and not mind there own business! " Harry shouted, now everyone in the Gryffindor Tower was watching the argument that was going on between the Golden Trio.
"I'm not meddling in your life," Hermione said.
"Yea, you are! And you can't mind your own fucking business!" Harry snapped.
"That's not true!" Hermione protested.
"Yea it is, Hermione. I can't go anywhere without you asking where I'm going or where I was! You always have to know what I'm doing!" Harry growled; he was beyond the point of yelling. He usually only yelled when he was angry and he wasn't angry, he was pissed.
"Harry!" Ron shouted.
"Shut the fuck up, Ronald!" Harry hissed through his teeth. Ron was about to say something, but when he saw Harry's angry glare, he thought better of it.
"Harry, please, listen…" Hermione said in a quiet voice.
"No, you listen! I've had enough of you being incapable to mind your own business! You always have to know everything!" Harry growled. Then, he added, "Tell me, do you ever get tired of being an insufferable know it all?"
"Har-" Ron started, but Harry shot him a glare, if looks could kill, Ron would be six feet under.
"Harry…please," Hermione said in a very quiet voice, tears had started to weld up in her eyes. "Please, just talk to us, talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
"There's nothing to talk about! Nothing's wrong!" Harry growled; he was too pissed to care that Hermione was about to cry.
"Harry, there's obviously something wrong, or you wouldn't be acting like this," Hermione said as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.
"There's nothing wrong! You know why I'm acting like this! I've said it about five times, but maybe that isn't enough!" Harry snapped.
"Harry please, just tell me what's wrong. Is it about Sirius, is that what's bothering you?" Hermione asked.
"No, its not! Just fuck off and mind your own business for once and stay out of mine!" Harry shouted. After he had said that, he turned around and walked out through the hole in the wall he had walked in moments previous.
He was pissed; Hermione didn't know a thing about what he was going through. She hadn't lived with the Dursley's all her life; she hadn't been treated like a house-elf, she didn't have to worry about defeating Voldemort, she didn't know what it was like to be him, nobody did. Nobody seemed able to see past his fake smiles and stupid lies, to see that deep inside he was hurt and bleeding.
Harry sighed; all he ever wanted was somebody who cared about him, who knew what he was going through, most of all, he wanted somebody to love him for him not because he was the Boy-Who-Lived. He wanted to wake up every morning with someone laying next to him and telling him that they loved him. He wanted someone that would be with him, even after the whole ordeal with Voldemort was finished. He shook his head lightly; he knew that something like that would never happen to him. Harry turned the corner and walked into someone, which caused him to fall.
"Watch where you're going," the person said. Harry quickly scrambled to his feet.
"Sorry," He said, not looking at the person, and then continued to walk.
"You feeling alright, Potter?" the person asked.
"Yea, why" Harry asked as he turned around to see whom he was talking to, Malfoy. "Oh."
"Yea, oh. And what are you doing out after curfew?" Malfoy asked.
"What's it to you?" Harry said in a quiet voice, he didn't want to argue with Malfoy at the moment, he just wanted to be left alone.
"I'm a Prefect," Malfoy said.
"And I care because?" Harry asked, his voice was still quiet.
"You're serving detention with Snape tomorrow night," Malfoy said.
"I really don't fucking give a shit, Malfoy," Harry said.
"Well, you should," Malfoy said.
"Well, I don't," Harry said, looking up, his gaze had been on the ground the entire time he was talking to Malfoy.
"Detention, with Snape tomorrow night at six," Malfoy said. When Harry had looked up, Malfoy had saw the dead look in his eyes, it sent shivers throughout his entire body.
"I'm not going," Harry said as he turned around and walked away. Harry could have sworn that he had heard Malfoy let out a sigh, but summed it up to just being a ghost.
After a few moments of walking, Harry looked up and noticed that he was standing outside the Owlery. Harry sighed; he opened the door and walked in, looking around for Hedwig. He didn't have to look for long, though, because almost as soon as he closed the door, the snowy white owl flew down and landed gracefully on his shoulder.
"Hey girl," he said, Hedwig cooed affectionately.
Harry sighed; he waved his hand and the middle of the Owlery become clean. With Hedwig still on his shoulder, Harry walked over to the place that he had just cleaned and sat down.
Harry waved his hand and his pack of cigarettes and lighter appeared. Taking a cigarette out of his pack, and lit it, he took a long drag and exhaled slowly. He didn't care that he was smoking in the Owlery, it didn't matter to him if someone walked in. As Harry took a few more drags of his cigarette, he started to feel himself slowly calming down. He knew that he was in for a stressful and trying year, he had a feeling that smoking wouldn't always be able to calm him down, he knew that sometimes nothing would calm him down when he was really angry or stressed. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he watched the way the smoke moved when he exhaled.
Then, he got an idea. Flicking his wrist, a quill, inkwell and a piece of parchment appeared in front of him. He put out his cigarette and transfigured the half that he hadn't smoked into a large board. He set the board on his legs and placed the inkwell near the corner of the board and the parchment in the center of it. He flicked his wrist and the lid of the inkwell came off. He picked up his quill, dipped it in the inkwell and started to write.
'Hey Rage and Sunshine,
How's it going? Sorry I haven't written in a while, but shit's been going on. I'm just going to skip the chitchat and get right to the point. Rage, can you get me enough grass and tubes to last me until Christmas? I'll pay you, of course. I just know that I'm really gonna need it this year. A lot of shit is going on right now, and it's awful, I know that smokes wont do much for me in a few weeks. Anyways, I've gotta go, Later.
Love,
Pain'Harry flicked his wrist and the lid was back on the inkwell. He waved his hand, the inkwell and quill disappeared, the board turned back into a half of a cigarette, and the rolled up and tied to Hedwig's leg. Picking up the cigarette, Harry lit it and took a drag.
"You know where they live, right, girl?" Harry asked the snowy white owl. Hedwig cooed before she took off to deliver Harry's letter.
OMG! I'm sooooo sorry I'm like five days late! I've been a bad, bad girl…I hade skipped for two weeks and I finally went to school and I had sooooo much work to do…though its all easy…and then when I had finished it all…Thursday night…I went and got stoned…I was stoned almost all weekend…but I had most of the chapter done…but then my grandmother hooked up her laptop n the internet wouldn't work in my room, she fought with it for a few days before she hooked up her old computer.
When I didn't have the internet, I copied out what I had done of the story, cause I was going to type it all out at school, but anyways, I noticed that I make a lot of mistakes…but…because I was soo late updating…I made this chapter a little longer then usual. Usually I have about 7 or 8 pages…but this chapter has 11.
Lol…anyways…I'm going to try and have the next chapter out by Monday…at the latest. And…you all have the right to yell at me for being so late…lol…now…
I'd like to thank all my WONDERFUL reviewers!
Laurina Lalaithe: (Chapter 4) Thanks for the tip…I'll keep that in mind. I tried using different words in this chapter…lol…tell me if I did a good job this time…lol, anywayz…thanks for the review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Crying these bloody tears: I was on anti-depressants for a bit…but I ended up being allergic to it…thank god…lol. Of course Harry his going to be getting with someone in this story. And he will be gay! lol, thanks for the compliments, and the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too.
Plotbunnybrat: I think so too…lol, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
FroBoy: lol…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Myniephoenix: lmao…yup, go Harry. Anywayz…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Frostyhogwarts: Thanks, and of course there will be a friendship between Harry and Draco. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Elektra107: Thanks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Just-think-of-a-stupid-name-and-that's-me: lol…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
WrittenWords: hehe…look I haven't said lol or lmao at the beginning of every response…lol…but I don't think that I'll be able to keep it up forever…lol…anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Jujube15: Thanks, I think that there might be a friendship…I'm not completely sure yet…lol…but one thing at a time first…lol…I'll work on them becoming civil…then move to friendship. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Mybloodyenigma: Thanks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
IcyHotTears: Thanks, I'm glad you can relate to my story. lol…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Emeralddragon: Thanks. Yup, Harry and Snape are gonna start to get along…soon…I hope…lol. And don't worry, I have no intention to make Harry have to take out his piercings. Thanks for the review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Curious Shadow: Thanks for the review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
DarkerHeart: lmao…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Lavinia: lol…thanks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Hittocerebattosai: Thanks…lol…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
Hermione1208: Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Kristin: Yea, I've got a few ideas why he could be resorted…but I need to fine tune them…lol…anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.
The Dark's Desire: lmao…yea I no, sometimes I freak myself out with the things that I come up with…but that part had to be done…lol…thanks for the review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Anyways…who figured out what Snape's secret was? Lmao…if someone didn't…I'm shocked…lmao. Oh yea, grass is weed and tubes is ecstasy…that's what everyone calls it at my school…lol…I got suspended today…so tomorrow I have all day…I might even be able to have the next chapter up by Sunday…I hope…oh and for those of you who watch Queer As Folk, you should know who rage and sunshine are...lmao…anywayz…until next chapter! Byebyez!
-Wykked As Syn
