Note This is NOT a one-shot fic. It has a plot. Slash.

Summary: Harry has been beaten by the Dursley's his whole life. One night he comes home late and Vernon beats him. Harry lay in his bed thinking; finally, he decides to run away. What happens when he meets up with someone that is going through the exact same thing that he is? Will a relationship form? What about the person that Harry loves? What will happen to Voldemort? Who will win the war? Read to find out.

This story will be rated for the following reasons:

Violence (abuse)

Language

Nudity/Graphic Sex (in later chapters)

Self-harming

Other

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot, and a few other things that will appear in later chapters.


Chapter 11: Very Unusual Talks, Arguments and Surprises

November was nearing an end, the weather was becoming colder and the sun was setting earlier. Harry sat in the Room of Requirement doing his Potion's homework. Over the last few weeks, Harry had been spending as much time as he could in the Room of Requirement because he knew that nobody would find him there. He knew that is so-called friends Ron and Hermione looked from him when he was gone, but he also knew that they never thought to look in the Room of Requirement, though, he didn't know why, it was the most obvious place in the world. Whenever Harry went out, he was always sure to take his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map with him so that he was positive nobody could find him and that nobody could take his Invisibility Cloak and follow him.

Harry put down his quill and started to read over his finished homework. When he was done, he set down the parchment, stood up and stretched. Though, he almost doubled over when a sharp pain started to shoot through his stomach. At first it was in one spot but then it spread, it felt like there was a hundred dull knives stabbing his stomach. Harry managed to sit down into the chair behind him and curl up into a little ball. The pain was becoming too much to bare, his head started to spin. After a few moments, everything subsided.

Harry sighed as he reached over to the coffee table next to him and grabbed his cigarettes. He took one out of the pack and lit it. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly. For the last couple of weeks, Harry had been getting sharp pains in the stomach, he was thankful that he was alone when they happened because he knew that people would make a big fuss about it. That was something that Harry didn't want, the pains in his stomach were nothing important; at least to him they weren't.

Harry took another long drag of his cigarette and sighed, sometimes he wished that everybody would just leave him alone or at least treat him like a normal teenager. He knew, though, that that would never happen because he was the Boy-Who-Lived. He hated the fact that people only noticed him because he was famous; he wanted people to notice him because of whom he was as a person. He knew that that would never happen, though, because nobody knew what he was like as a person, he had never shown anybody. All his life he had lived behind a mask, he let that mask shadow who he really was. Even now, he was still living behind his mask, though not as much as before. Before he used to dress and act a certain way, now he dressed how he wanted and, for the most part, acted how he wanted.

When he was younger, he remembered how he used to cry himself to sleep because he had to live behind a mask. When he was younger there were always tear upon his pillow at night. He was a child lost to pain because that was all he ever knew; even now it was the same. He never knew love or happiness; he never knew what they were like. All he ever knew was anger, hate, sadness and pain.

Anger, that was something that he grew up around. When he was at the Dursley's, somebody was always angry for one reason or another. It seemed, that whenever somebody was angry, usually Vernon or Dudley, they would take it out on Harry. They would beat him until he couldn't move or until he passed out. Even at Hogwarts, it seemed like somebody was always angry with him for something. He hated it.

Hate, when Harry was at the Dursley's, he knew that everybody there hated him. They had made sure to show him every day by telling him or hitting him. Even at Hogwarts he was hated for things that he didn't even do. Severus had hated him because he was his father's son. Malfoy hated him for various reasons that were unknown to Harry. Harry knew that he was never loved, maybe when he was a baby, but he couldn't remember that. He was sad that he didn't have his parents around to love him, to keep him safe from everything.

Sad, that was something that Harry always felt, no matter where he went or what he did, that feeling was always there. There was no way that Harry could get rid of it, he had tried everything that he could think of; nothing seemed to work. At the Dursley's he was sad because of everything and at Hogwarts he was sad because he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Harry wondered how people could expect so much from one person, a young boy at that. Harry wondered how people could be oblivious to all the pain that they cause one person.

Pain, that was something that Harry was well acquainted with. All he ever knew was pain, whether it was physical or emotional, he was always in pain. Pain that his relatives had caused him, pain that the Wizarding World had caused him. He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted everything to disappear, he wanted all the pain he felt to leave him forever. Though, he knew that as long as he was alive, it would always be with him.

Harry wanted to leave where he was, forever. He wanted to forget everything that he had gone through. He wanted to wake up and find out that everything was a nightmare, and his parents were still alive. Their love would be the mercy on his fate because if he still had his parents it would mean that he wouldn't have to do the things that he had to do without them. He wouldn't have to worry about defeating Voldemort; he wouldn't have to worry about Dumbledore meddling in his life.

What Dumbledore couldn't seem to grasp was the fact that Harry was rising up and changing before his very eyes and there was nothing the old man could do about it. Harry refused to change back to the way that he used to be because Dumbledore didn't like what he was becoming. Though, Dumbledore would soon see how the darkness faded in the light. Dumbledore would soon see that should have never put Harry through the things that he did. Harry would make sure that Dumbledore regretted everything that he had ever done to Harry.

Harry was rising up and moving on, he didn't care what other people thought; he didn't care what other people did to try and stop him. He wouldn't let anything bring him down. He would be the light that the darkness faded in, if only he could make his darkness fade first.


It was Monday evening; Harry was walking down to the dungeons for his Occlumency lesson with Severus. Over the last month, Harry had been able to block Severus from his mind most of the time. Compared to last year, Harry had improved a lot in his Occlumency skills because last year he didn't take it seriously, he wanted to be able to see the things that Voldemort did. This year, though, he didn't, he also didn't want the headmaster to try and invade his mind. The old man seemed to do that whenever he and Harry were alone in the same room together.

Dumbledore had been getting frustrated at the fact that he was unable to read Harry's mind. Harry knew that because, even though Dumbledore didn't show any expressions, when Dumbledore would talk to him and try to invade his mind, frustration would enter the old mans voice when he was unsuccessful.

Harry looked up and noticed that he was standing in front of Severus's private quarters. He and Severus had stopped doing the Occlumency lessons in Severus's office because people could just enter at any given moment. If they were in Severus's private quarters the only person that they needed to worry about entering was Remus, who already knew about the private lessons.

Harry didn't bother to knock before he entered the room. The sight of Severus and Remus at a close proximity greeted him. Harry had suspected that something was going on between Remus and Severus for some time now. He wanted to know what exactly was going on between the two older men, and Harry reckoned that they only way to find out was to ask them, though, he didn't know how he should.

Severus and Remus moved apart when they noticed that Harry had entered the room, the door was already closed behind him. Remus blushed slightly while Severus had a look of indifference on his face. Yes, there was definitely something going on between the two. Harry reckoned that if he wanted to know, that he would ask now because it was the perfect opportunity.

"Good evening, Harry," Remus greeted.

"Good evening, Remus," Harry said.

"Are you ready to begin your lesson?" Severus asked

"No," Harry said. "There is something that I want to ask you two before we begin. And I want an honest answer."

Harry saw Severus and Remus exchange a look, it seemed like they knew what it was that Harry wanted to ask them. It was Remus that spoke first, "Ok, Harry, what is it that you want to know?"

"What's going on between you two?" Harry asked, not being to blunt about it.

"Be more specific, please," Severus said, he was stalling, he didn't know how Harry would react when he found out that he and Remus were a couple.

"You know what I mean," Harry said coolly.

"No, I don't," Severus said, trying to act innocent.

"I'm sure," Harry said sarcastically. "But, I'll play along and be more specific. Or would you two rather I be blunt about it?"

Remus and Severus exchanged a look before Remus answered, "Specific will suffice."

"Fine. Every time I look at the Map, you two are always in the same room and every time I come down for my Occlumency lesson, you two are always really close to each other but jump away when you notice that I have arrived. So answer me, what is going on between you two?" Harry asked.

"Ok, how about you be blunt about it," Severus said, he didn't want to explain anything, and he had a feeling that Remus didn't either.

"Whatever. Are you two fucking?" Harry asked.

"Harry!" Remus shout.

"What?" Harry asked innocently.

"That was rude," Severus scolded.

"That was blunt," Harry said. "Now, answer the question."

"If by fucking you mean couple, then yes," Remus answered. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic," Harry said sarcastically. "Besides, that's what I had thought, but I reckoned that it was better if I asked before I started to assume."

"You don't that two guys are together?" Severus asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow. He had reckoned that Harry would be against that sort of thing.

"If I did, then, I'd be a hypocrite," Harry said in mock enthusiasm. Severus and Remus both raised an eyebrow. "I go both ways."

"Interesting," Severus said.

"See, Severus, I told you, you learn something new everyday," Remus teased.

"I know, isn't it amazing?" Severus said in mock enthusiasm before saying in a dry tone, "Now, shut up."

"Sure," Harry said dryly. "If anybody find out about this, I know who to blame."

"I take it you haven't come out yet," Remus said.

"Fuck, no," Harry defiantly. "I take it you two haven't either."

"How did you know?" Remus asked.

"'Cause wittle Wemey it would have been all over the school by now," Harry said in a baby voice.

"Good point," Remus said. "Now, shut up."

"Here's an idea," Severus said in mock enthusiasm. "Let's skip this lesson and just sit and talk."

Harry raised an eyebrow before answering, "Sure."

Remus, Severus and Harry walked over to the living room and sat down. Harry sat on the love seat while Remus and Severus sat on the couch. Severus flicked his wrist and a tea set appeared, he handed a cup of tea to Harry and Remus before he picked up his own and leaned back on the couch.

"What do you want to talk about?" Harry asked.

"When did you find out that you like guys?" Severus asked bluntly as he took a sip of his tea.

"Wonderful," Harry said sarcastically. "This is going to be about me, isn't it?"

"Let's make a deal, then, shall we?" Remus asked.

"Sure," Harry said.

"We ask you a question and you ask us a question," Remus said.

"Wow, I feel like an eight-year-old playing a game of truth," Harry said dryly.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Remus asked.

"Sure," Harry said as he took a sip of his tea.

"Good, now answer the question," Severus said.

"Since this summer," Harry answered. "How long have you two been together?"

"Since this summer," Remus answered. "How did you figure out that you liked guys?"

"Very carefully," Harry said dryly. "Why the fuck are we doing this?"

"To get to know each other better," Severus said.

"Right, well, I don't like it. I feel like I'm some little kid that has nothing better to do with their time. This is stupid," Harry said.

"You're the one that agreed to it," Remus said.

"Because I have nothing better to do," Harry said.

"Well, then, there you go. Now, shall we continue?" Severus asked.

"I guess," Harry said.

"What's the real reason that you want to be taught Occlumency?" Severus asked.

"I told you, because I don't want Dumbledore reading my thoughts whenever the hell he wants. Also, it will come in useful later on," Harry said. "Why do you want to get to know me better?"

"Because, do to circumstances beyond my control, I have been unfair to you in the past and I have never gotten the chance to know you properly. At first I hated you because you were your father's son, then I saw passed that, I saw that you were nothing like your father. Then I had to pretend to hate you to keep up appearances and because I knew that the Dark Lord had come back. If he ever got wind that I was friendly with you I wouldn't live to see another day." Severus explained.

"I see," Harry said.

"Anyway," Remus said. "Does anybody other then Severus and I know what has happened when you were at the Dursley's?"

"Fuck no, I don't need people fretting about things that are of no importance," Harry answered. "Are we done with this little 'talk'?"

"No," Severus said. "Why –"

"Do you smoke?" Remus asked, cutting Severus off.

"Why do you ask?" Harry asked.

"Well, let's see. Because I can see a cigarette pack in your robe pocket," Remus answered.

Harry looked down at his robe pocket and saw that his cigarette pack was, in fact, visible before he said, "Fuck."

"Don't worry," Remus started.

"We do it, too," Severus said.

"So, we're not going to get mad," Remus said.

"Because that wouldn't be fair," Severus finished.

"Ok, Stop! You two sound like the twins," Harry said. "Anyway, I'd better go. I've got homework."

Harry put his half-empty cup of tea down and stood up. Severus and Remus did the same and walked Harry to the door. Severus told Harry that this next lesson was on Wednesday at the same time. Harry said his goodbyes and he left, walking back to Gryffindor tower.

As Harry walked, he thought about how weird that conversation with Severus and Remus was, if one could even call that a conversation. Harry was suspicious that Remus and Severus were planning something; he didn't believe that that was Severus's reason for an ass for all those years. They said that they wanted to get to know Harry better, but Harry didn't believe. Harry reckoned that Dumbledore order the two men to get know Harry better and try to find out why he had changed. Harry knew that if he found out that Severus and Remus were reporting information back to Dumbledore, then things would because dangerous at the school. Harry would make sure that Dumbledore would have the hardest time out of any Headmaster that was ever at that school.

Harry would make sure that Dumbledore would have a hard time controlling the school as long as Harry was still Hogwarts. That was a promise.


It was the second week of December; Draco was sitting in his private room leaning back on his chair with a cigarette. It was Saturday, Draco was enjoying his time alone; it was another Hogsmeade trip and Draco decided to stay back this time. It wasn't the fact that he didn't want to go, it was more the fact that didn't want to meet Potter in Hogsmeade; he didn't want a repeat of last trip.

Draco sighed as he took a drag of his cigarette. Draco heard a tapping sound at his window; he turned to see his father's owl. He stood up and walked over to the window and opened it. The owl flew in and landed gracefully on Draco's desk. Draco walked over and untied the letter from the owl's outstretched leg before he opened his bottom desk drawer and pulled out a few owl treats and gave then to the bird. Draco sat down his chair, leaned back on it, took a drag of his cigarette and started to read the letter.

'Draco,

I expect you to be home for Christmas to get the Dark Mark. If you do not come home for Christmas then you are never to return to the Manor again. You no longer be my son if you choose not to get the Dark Mark. Make your choice wisely.

Your Father.'

Draco sighed as he put down the letter and put his cigarette out in the ashtray on his desk. He hated it when his father would but him in a position like this. Though, Draco didn't know why his father was still talking to him, since he Draco run away during the summer, Draco thought that his father would never speak to him again. Draco reckoned, though, that the only reason Lucius was talking to him was because Voldemort was forcing him to.

Draco knew that he would rather lose Lucius as a father then follow some mad man. Even though he didn't let it be known, Draco was completely against Voldemort and the things that he did. He was against killing anything that wasn't a pureblooded witch or wizard; it was wrong. Sure, anything less than pureblood was a disgrace and filthy, but that didn't mean that they all had to die. Also, if there were only purebloods, there wouldn't be that many and eventually every witch or wizard would be related in some way and then people would start to inbreed and then everything would eventually cease to exist. Draco didn't want a world like that; he wanted to live in a world where purebloods and Muggleborn's got along. Though, he knew that that would never happen, but that didn't mean that he couldn't want it. That's why he was against Voldemort, to try and have a chance to live in a world like that.

But the fact remains, if Draco did refuse to get the Mark, his father would disown him and he didn't want that. All he ever wanted in life was to make his father proud. He had the chance to do that now; he wanted to make his father proud of him. But, he couldn't even make himself try to make his father proud, not this time, there was too much at stake. It was either, make his father proud and do what he was completely against or not taking the Mark and having to life with that fact that his father had ever been proud of him.

Draco didn't know what to do; he wanted to do both, but he knew that it was either one or the other. Draco sighed in frustration and he stood up, walked over to this bed, and lied down. He wondered why life had to be so complicated. He hated it. It hurt him to have to make a choice between a better life and his father. It felt his heart was sinking in his chest; it was as if someone had tied something to his heart and was slowly dragging it down.

Draco sighed in frustration again; he hated this. He wanted everything to go away, he wanted to be free from his emotions and everything. Draco reached under his pillow and pulled out his knife, it was the only way he could get rid of the pain. Draco took of his robe and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Pale scars, pink scars and violent red lines were visible on Draco's wrists and upper arms. Draco picked up his knife and pressed it against an unmarked spot on the upper part of his arm.

Putting pressure on the knife, Draco slowly dragged it across his arm. It started to bleed slightly as Draco pressed the knife to a spot below that mark that he had just made. He put pressure on the knife and slowly dragged it across his arm. He did this a few more times before he put down the knife and sighed in relief. His was in a blissful place were he couldn't feel anything; his entire body was numb. Draco stared transfixed as the blood rolled down his arm. A violent red rolled down his pale arm, the red made his arm look even paler. He stared transfixed for a moment longer before he put the knife back under his pillow and flicked his wrist, making the blood disappear.

Draco rolled down his sleeves, put his robe back on, and lied down. And not too soon, his head touched the pillow and the door to his private rooms opened and Pansy Parkinson walked in. Draco thought that she had gone to Hogsmeade too. He was surprised to see Pansy, but he didn't show it. He didn't move from his position either, he just lied on his back and stared at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

"What do you want, Pansy?" Draco asked coldly, shifting his eyes to look at here. "I'm busy."

"You are not," Pansy said.

"Yes, I am. I'm relaxing," Draco said coolly.

"Whatever. You were supposed to meet me at the Three Broomstick at noon, for our date," Pansy said as he walked over and sat next to Draco.

Draco had forgotten about meeting Pansy, it wasn't a date, though. Draco decided to act like he never agreed to it. "I don't know what you're talking about, Pansy."

"Liar. Yesterday you said that you would go to Hogsmeade with me," Pansy said as she rested he head on Draco's stomach.

"I said no such thing," Draco said coldly.

"It's okay if you forgot," Pansy said as she started to lift up Draco's shirt.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Draco asked as he sat up, throwing Pansy off him in the process.

"Well, I figured that since you forgot to meet me, you could make it up to me," Pansy said innocently

"First, I didn't forget to meet you, I never agreed to it. And second, I would never sleep with you, ever," Draco growled.

"But, Dra – " Pansy started.

"No, just get the fuck out. Now!" Draco growled menacingly.

Pansy didn't need to be told again, she was out of the room before Draco could blink. He hated that girl, she was very annoying, and she couldn't take a hint that he liked guys, he had told her that to her face. Draco was so close to hexing Pansy into next week. He promised himself that if Pansy tried something like that again, he would hex her into next week.


It was a few days before the Christmas break began; Harry was sitting in Transfiguration class. It was Friday, which meant that he had it with the Slytherin's. Harry was sitting in the back of the classroom by himself, Ron and Hermione where sitting up at the front of the classroom. Harry was glad that he wasn't sitting with Ron and Hermione because Hermione would usually scold him because he wasn't doing a spell right, and Ron would just agree with her.

Just because Hermione could do the spell perfectly didn't mean that everyone else could. Harry remembered last class, McGonagall had given the class a new spell to try, Harry had tried it once and he hadn't done it properly, then he had to listen to Hermione lecture him for the entire lesson. She had said things like he should pay more attention in class so that he actually learned something. But, how was he supposed to learn if Hermione continued to distract him?

That's why he was at the back of the classroom today, he was tired of listening to Hermione complain all the time because he couldn't do something right. Usually, Harry would sit with them so that nobody would suspect that something was amiss, but today, he didn't care. He knew that people would just think that they had gotten into a fight or something.

McGonagall had given them a new spell last class and they had had to practice that for homework, because Harry had been spending a lot of time alone, he had managed to perfect the spell. So, he was currently working on the essay that McGonagall had assigned for the Christmas break; he was almost done it. Harry reckoned that if he didn't become distracted for the rest of the class, that he could finish it and write his good copy. But, it didn't look like that would happen.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, she was standing in front of Harry.

"Yes?" Harry asked, looking up from the essay he was working on.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you practicing the spell?" McGonagall asked.

"Because I can do it fine," Harry answered.

"Very well, let's see then," McGonagall said.

Harry sighed as he picked up his wand and revived the stunned mouse next to him. The spell would change a mammal into a fish; it was simple enough, for Harry at least. Harry concentrated on what he wanted the fish to look like before he cast the spell. The mouse slowly changed into a Siamese fighting fish. It was blue with red along the outside of its fins. Harry flicked his wand and a bowl with water in it appeared, he put the fish into the bowl and looked up at McGonagall.

"Impressive, ten points to Gryffindor," McGonagall said before she walked away.

Harry went back to writing his essay. Harry wasn't interrupted for the rest of the class; he had managed to finish the essay and the good copy five minutes before the bell rang. When the bell rang, Harry flick his wrist and the bowl and the fish disappeared, he had sent it to his dormitory. Harry walked up to McGonagall and handed her the essay, she looked a little stunned as she took it. Harry reckoned that she didn't think that anybody would be finished the assignment so soon. Usually it was Hermione to be the first one to hand in an assignment, but she hadn't even started hers yet.

Harry walked out of the classroom and headed for the dungeons for his Occlumency lesson with Severus. He was somewhat looking forward to it, spending time with Severus proved to be more fun then he ever thought, especially if Remus was there.


The students at Hogwarts were preparing to leave for the Christmas holidays. Harry was, reluctantly, walking down to the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione; he was seeing them off because he was staying at Hogwarts for Christmas, they were going to be one of the last people to leave. Harry knew that if he did walk down this them, that Ron and Hermione would suspect something, more so than they already did, and that they would start to meddle in his life even more. Harry hated it that he couldn't go anywhere without somebody asking him where he was or what he was going to do. He hated it the way that people treated him like an infant.

Harry shook his head slightly and looked up to notice that they were standing in the Great Hall

"Harry, are you sure you don't wanna come to the Burrow for Christmas?" Ron asked as he set his trunk down.

"I'm sure, I just need some time to myself," Harry said in a voice that meant that the conversation was over

"You've had enough time to yourself, Harry, you barely spend any time with us anymore," She said as she set down her trunk.

"I wonder why," Harry said coldly.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"You're clever, you figure it out," Harry said.

"Just tell me, Harry," Hermione said, her voice raised slightly.

"Looks like you're not as clever as I thought," Harry said coldly.

"Why don't you want to spend time with us?" Hermione demanded.

"Because you can't take a hint. Because I can never go anywhere without you guys asking me where I'm going, what I'm doing, who I'm meeting," Harry said coldly.

"We ask you were you're going because we worry about you," Hermione said, her voice rising a little more.

"Worried that Voldemort's going to come and attack me?" Harry said mockingly.

"Kind of," Hermione said. "But we don't just worry about that!"

"Yea, like what?" Harry asked.

"Like…you getting hurt," Hermione said.

"Yea, right. You could care less if I got hurt!" Harry spat.

"That's not true," Ron said, trying to stop the fight that was about to occur.

"Bull-fucking-shit, Ron! The only reason you two want to be around me so much is because you can say that you were Harry Potter's best friend!" Harry spat venomously.

"That's not true, Harry!" Hermione cried.

"Don't lie, Hermione," Harry said coldly.

"I'm not! Harry, you've changed so much over the summer, and not in a good way! You've become the complete opposite of what you used to be!" Hermione shouted.

"You're so fucking blind, Hermione! This has always been the way that I am! I just chose to never show it before because that's the way I've always lived!" Harry shouted back.

"That's not true, Harry, and you know it! I know that this is just some phase, I know that it's your way of dealing with Sirius's death!" Hermione shouted.

"It is not!" Harry growled. "Sirius's death made me realize that I should hide, especially whom I really am! If you cant accept the way that I am, then I was right! You're only hanging around me because I'm famous! You just want to be known as the people who hung around with good little Harry Potter!" Harry shouted.

"Harry! Just stop the act and change back to the way that you were!" Hermione pleaded.

"Fuck you, Hermione!" Harry growled venomously as he turned and walked away.

Harry stormed out of the school; he flicked his wrist and cast a warming charm around himself. He had had it with Ron and Hermione, he didn't care about people suspecting things anymore, he didn't want to be around those two, he refused to be near them. He didn't care that people would notice. They were a waste of his time and patience. They didn't know anything about him; they didn't understand him or what he was going through.

They didn't understand that this was the way that Harry had always been; he had just never showed it before. They didn't understand that Sirius's death had been his fault. Harry hated himself because he knew that it was his fault that Sirius was dead. He hated himself and everything that he was. He didn't want to be famous, he didn't want the weight of the world on his shoulders, he didn't want to live with the guilt of knowing that he had caused a loved-ones death.

Harry looked up and noticed that he was in the garden; it was so beautiful during the winter. Harry sat down on a bench at the farthest end of the garden, where he was sure that nobody would find him.

Harry sighed, he couldn't deal with all the emotions that he was feeling, guilt being the strongest. He wanted it to go away, he wanted to be rid of all the emotions he felt, they were all to hard to deal with, they were getting to him. He hated Ron and Hermione for everything they did to him, he hated Dumbledore for making them do that to him, he hated himself because of what he had become. He hated himself because he had stooped to such levels as cutting and starvation.

A single tear slide down Harry face as he flicked his wrist. His razorblade appeared in his hand. Harry was just about to put the razorblade down beside him when he heard something in the bush; he reckoned that it was only the wind. Harry placed the razorblade down and rolled his sleeves before he flicked his wrist again. Pink and faded scars appeared along with violent red lines that screamed against his pale skin. He picked up his razorblade and put it against his wrist, he put a lot of pressure on it and quickly dragged it across his wrist.

Then, Harry's stomach growled, a sharp pain shot through his stomach, causing him to cut his wrist really deep. Harry smiled slightly as the blood gushed out of the open wound. Harry placed the razorblade on his forearm and put a lot of pressure on it. He dragged it slowly up to the palm of his hand, adding pressure as he went. Blood gushed out immediately.

Harry stomach let out a long, painful growl; Harry's vision was starting to become blurry. His stomach growled once more before Harry fell unconscious.


Draco had heard the entire exchange between Potter and the other two. Draco had been seeing Crabbe and Goyle off, they were going home for Christmas to receive the Dark Mark. Draco had made the decision to refuse to get it, to defy Voldemort and his father.

Draco had been outside the Great Hall when he heard Potter and the other two shouting. Draco became curious as he listened to what was said between the three, he was shocked at what he heard. He didn't think that things were like that between Potter and his friends. When Draco saw Potter storm out of the Great Hall, he decided to follow, he had told Crabbe and Goyle that he needed to go because it was important.

Draco followed Potter, making sure that they other boy didn't see him. Draco didn't know why he wanted to follow Potter, he just felt like he had to. He felt like Potter was going to do something that Draco had to be there to see. Draco made sure that he couldn't be seen when Potter walked into the garden. He watched as Potter sat on a bench at the farthest end of the garden, Draco was intrigued now, what was Potter up to? Draco quietly sneaked into a near by brush.

Potter had flicked his wrist, Draco moved see what Potter had conjured up, he was shocked by what he saw, a razorblade. Draco ducked down more in the bush as Potter was about to set the razorblade down. Draco moved a branch as he tried to move down so that Potter couldn't see him. Potter stopped what he was doing and looked around for a moment before he continued what he was doing.

Draco watched as Potter rolled up his sleeves and removed the glamour charm. Draco was too far way to see any of the scars, but he could see a lot of red lines against Potter's pale wrists. Draco watched as Potter put the razorblade to his wrist and slid it slowly across, cutting really deep near the end. He watched as Potter smiled slightly and placed the razorblade on his forearm and drag it slowly up to the palm of his wrist. Draco watched as Potter's body fell limp on the bench.


Wow, that's long, lol. 11 pages. Yay! Lol…anyways…I was planning on cutting it off after Harry passed out, but I decided that I cant be that cruel to everyone! lol. but now you all have to wait until next chapter t find out what happens! Lol, so in the end…I'm still cruel and evil! MUAHAHAHA!…ok…remind me to stop drinking so much Coca-Cola in one say…lol…after about 3 litres…I get kinda hyper :P lol. So, what did you all think of this chapter? Review and let me know. Oh, and by the way, if some parts don't make sense, then that's probably because that was one of the parts that I had written when I was stoned…damn…lol…anyways!

Now, I would like to thank my WONDERFUL reviewers!

Ruby-sama aura-chan the neko-jin's yami: Thanks! If they did take a hint, then some of my story would be gone :P lol. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

The Dark's Desire: lol, thanks! Draco and Harry are going to get to know each other better in the next few chapter :P lol. Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Shadow315: lol, the slash will be coming soon. Patience is a virtue, my friend, lol. Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Hittocerebattosai: lol, you're welcome :P anyways, thanks for the review and I hoe you enjoyed this chapter!

Just-think-of-a-stupid-name-and-that's-me: lol, well, if you write a story and insert yourself into it, then you can :P lol. Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

FroBoy: Thanks; I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review!

Walking-from-Omelas: lol, I wanna be in college! lol, I have a swirly chair too:D anywayz, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Hermione1208: lol, ok :D. lol. Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Oxi-Nu: It's all a matter of opinion. You may think my story fails, but other people may not. It all depends on the person. But, thanks for the review (flame) none the less!

Jujube15: lol, who's Dr. Frankenfurter? Lmao. Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Laurina Lalaithe: Well, I used to do the same thing; I still do sometimes. I remember when my grandparents found out, I didn't tell them, though; the school did because they found out. For you, I suggest that you talk to your parents when you're all in the same room. Tell them that you cut, show them your wrists and explain to them why you did it. Confess to them, talk to them about things. I know a lot of cutters and (this goes for myself too) they usually cut because they don't talk about anything, the bottle everything up inside. Even when it becomes to much to deal with, they refuse to talk, so they cut themselves for temporary relief from everything.

There is also the option of not telling your parents, or course I think that it would be better if you did because if your parents ever found out on their own, things would be much harder to deal with. I know this from first hand experience.

As for finding a way to stop, I suggest writing in a diary about how you feel, write down things that are bothering you. Even though it's not talking to someone, your not keeping things bottled up anymore. That's what I do, I write in a diary and I write this story, by writing this story, I feel better about things. But, there are also other ways to stop. The good old fashion elastic around the wrist that you snap against your wrist when you feel the need to cut. Try taking Yoga, or doing something that will help relax you and make you focus on other things. Right now, I'm in kick boxing and karate, I find that they help a lot. I think that you should look into it if you want to stop.

Well, I don't know what else to say. I hope I helped you out. If you have any more questions or need some more advise, just let me know. Good luck with telling your parents!

Well, I'll see you all next chapter! Byebyez!

-Wykked As Syn