Guide To An Unsuccessful Relationship

Chapter Three: Let the Love Flow

Always tell your honey-bunny how cute they are.

"And then Hikaru turned to me and said 'If you're bedding him, what do we have to worry about? It's not like he'll hurt uh.' And then I told him that just because you wouldn't hurt me didn't necessarily mean that he was safe, but I don't think he heard me, so please don't kill him if something to do with green jello and your bed pr hair come into play, okay? Promise?"

Kaoru drew a breath.

"Oh and I was wondering if, this year, at graduation, that we can have an open bar and get us all pissed drunk and wild. Strippers and glittery drinks. I bet Tamaki would be hilarious as a drunk, don't you think? Haruhi and Hunny would also be funny, don't you think?"

He took another breath.

"also, I told my mother that you and I aren't having sex, but I don't think she believed me, so don't be surprised if she tries to interrogate you about our love life. I've told her she's too nosy for her own good and—"

A very quick inhale.

"—Kyouya, are you even hearing a thing I'm saying?"

The silver eyes continued to rove across the page without even blinking as his boyfriend finally stopped talking aimlessly and pushed him a question that would have to be answered. Kyouya inhaled seventeen times while Kaoru's questioning gaze bore holes into the dust cover of his book.

The brunette smiled and put the book aside. "You know, Kaoru…"

"Yes?"

"It's extremely cute how you think I'm listening."

-

Show you snooky-wookums that you care.

"I don't get this stupid math equation!" Kaoru yelled, frustrated and throwing his pencil at the ceiling—it stuck there.

Crossing his arms securely across his chest, the red head pouted with severe skill. It made every girl in the host club swoon with unprecedented adoration, especially when coupled with Hikaru's flirting and a simpering or embarrassed moan. However, seeing as his audience was none other than the Shadow King and it was a math test flirting with him and the moan had been more of a whine, it didn't work.

Kyouya ignored him and continued to allow his highlighter to hover over a page in his textbook. Kaoru whined, but was ignored, again.

It was then the idea crossed his mind and the Hitachiin couldn't suppress his trademark grin. Slowly, he rose from his chair and stalked across the room, swaying his hips femininely and purring.

"Kyouya," he sang, his voice sultry and seductive. "Will you…" he slipped a hand under his own shirt "…help me?"

Before looping his arms around his upperclassman's neck and situating himself so as to straddle the brunette's legs, the younger boy quirked one eyebrow in a suggestive question and lead in to nip Kyouya's ear lightly with his teeth.

Kyouya snorted, allowing Kaoru to do so for a good thirty seconds before hoisting him up bridal style and depositing him on the twin's joined bed. Kaoru squawked indignantly and glared at his boyfriend.

Kyouya just shook his head. 'Sometimes it worries me just how stupid you are, Kaoru. Exam finals are coming up; just study."

-

Let your buttercup know that your feelings are deep.

Kaoru was hurt. Mentally of course. His lower lip trembled uneasily and his heart leapt unevenly. Why? Whywhywhy?! Sure, this whole dating thing was mainly an exchange of merits and gain, but…

"Ky…Kyouya…?" he whimpered, glancing up at his boyfriend from the couch of the host club. It was still too early in the day for the club to begin catering, but they were all still uptight. The youngest of the Ootori's had just given some very shocking news.

"Away?" Haruhi questioned. "Like…forever?"

Tamaki had flung himself at the demon lord's feet and was bawling about 'abandonment', 'divorce', 'cheating' and desperate pleas for him to stay. Hikaru was already contemplating the mayhem he would cause and Hunny was babbling about a going away party. Kaoru was hurt.

"How…how could you make plans to leave without telling me?" he sniffed.

Kyouya sighed. "It's only for a while, I'm not abandoning the club, no parties, no party and Kaoru…" Everyone got quiet as the two gazed at each other.
I miss you so much when we're apart. Maybe we should be apart more often, then."