"Could we switch places?" Bella asked as she sat up on the bed.
I looked at her quizzically, still holding her heel in both hands.
She chuckled. "I mean, can you lie down?"
I hesitated, but obliged, moving across the large mattress to stretch along the middle of the bed next to Bella. She stared at me, her eyes shifting from my face to my stomach, lingering for a moment at my hardness. Her face flushed when she finally met my eyes, but beneath the crimson she looked determined. A thousand images of what she might do filled my head, all of which fueled the blaze beneath my skin.
"I know you're preoccupied about hurting me, so …" Bella began.
"Yes?" I cringed. Evidently my attempts at cautious confidence failed miserably.
"I think it might help if you kept your hands on the headboard for a little while. Then you wouldn't have to worry about squeezing me too hard. Besides…" she smiled shyly, "I'd like to…um, explore you for a while, if that's okay."
I raised my eyebrows. "Okay." What in the world was going through her head? Whatever she was planning to do, I didn't know how much I could handle. Surrendering control of the situation made me feel anxious and tense. Even if I studied her every move, trying to anticipate what she would do next, I doubted that I could refrain from leaping on her if she moved too quickly. I hid my worry by reaching above my head with both hands and clasping the headboard tightly.
"Okay. Now, keep your hands where they are."
Shifting to all-fours in the full spotlight of the moon, Bella lifted her bent leg over me. Nudging my knee with her own, she pushed my legs apart slightly to straddle my thigh. The headboard groaned under my grip. Was she trying to drive me mad?
Bringing her face next to mine, Bella bent forward and kissed me gently. "I love you," she whispered, kissing the corners of my mouth. "I am so happy."
"I love you, too, Bella." I couldn't resist brushing my hand through my hair and stroking her jaw.
"Hey!" Bella scolded softly as she pulled back. "No hands, remember?"
I groaned, but returned my hands to the headboard. Her asking me not to touch her was pure torture.
Bella lightly caressed my forehead. Willing myself to relax, I closed my eyes. With slightly more pressure, she stroked along my eyebrows before kissing both of my eyelids. She continued down the bridge of my nose, dancing across my cheeks and jaw with her fingertips.
"Hmmm. That feels wonderful," I whispered. Each gentle stroke ignited tingles like static electricity.
Bella alternated between kissing my mouth and cheeks. I lifted my face slightly as she brushed her lips under my chin, opening her lips to taste me. I swear I heard my skin sizzling under the heat of her mouth. She kissed my neck. I hissed, barely keeping my eyes closed. She did it again on the other side. Twice. Each kiss only increased the pulsating fire spreading further down my body.
With fingers splayed, Bella ran her hands along the tops of my shoulders and my forearms. She repeated the motion down my biceps, then across the expanse of my chest. She paused above my armpits, nuzzling her face in the hair. Bella sighed into my skin, breathing deeply. A slight breeze blew through the open doors and carried her own sweet scent to me. My empty heart lurched.
It's alright, I told myself. I could control my hormonal urges and not attack my wife. Couldn't I?
Smiling, she kissed along my pectorals, running her thumbs down my sides to my hips. Her lips, shy but hungry, nudged one of my nipples, barely touching her tongue against its firmness.
I gasped and opened my eyes wide.
"Sorry!" Bella exclaimed, sitting up immediately. "Should I not have done that?"
"No! Yes!" I felt quivery and dangerous. I tried to breathe, pretending it would help calm me. "It was fine. More than fine." I laughed nervously. "Bella, the smallest things you do to me make me feel like I'm going to go crazy."
She seemed to notice that I was even more erect, if that was possible. Heat flushed her cheeks, and I wondered if I had scared her. Bella leaned over to rest her cheek against my chest. She didn't move for several deep breaths. Eventually, when her heart slowed, she lifted her head and began, with the tip of her nose, to follow the lines of my muscles, stopping every few moments to kiss a patch of skin.
She moved from one side of me to the other, from the top of my chest down to my waistline, offering soft kisses with occasional flicks of tongue, followed by gentle caresses with her fingers. Bella moved further down until she straddled my calf. Keeping her eyes on mine, she stroked my abdomen, continuing along the outside of my legs, across my knees and back up to my stomach. She slowly extended her reach to the inside of my thighs. She didn't linger there, moving back up to my chest and leading with her thumbs. I moaned. She repeated this pattern several times, always watching my expression.
At first her caresses soothed me, but her languid strokes grew in intensity. I tried to silence the voice in my head that desperately wished she would touch the one part she avoided. As much as I wanted it, I worried it would throw me into a frenzy.
When her hands neared my knees again, she turned her body to rub my lower calves and ankles. I concentrated on the feeling of her hands against my skin, a slippery friction of cool and hot. Bella's breathing grew faster and her arching position made her chest heave. Facing me again, she pushed harder, reaching further down to where my inner thighs touched before skipping along my hipbones and up my sides. We both shuddered. The level of arousal was both amazing and horrifying.
Bella closed her eyes and sat back on her haunches. Her scorching dampness pressed against my leg as another jolt of shockingly strong ecstasy moved through me. I shot forward in an instant, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her fervently. She parted her lips, brushing the tip of her tongue against my lower lip. I groaned through clenched teeth, choking on the venom filling my mouth. I tightened my grip on her shoulders, kissing her harder.
I didn't realize that I couldn't hear Bella breathing until she started to sway. I leaned back, worried, but still holding her upright.
"Are you okay, Bella?" My eyes shifted to alarm.
"Sorry. I'm fine." She closed her eyes. "I think I started to hyperventilate, and then I forgot to breathe. Give me a moment."
"Here, lie down." I started to pull her toward the bed.
Bella stretched her arm out, resisting. She sat up slightly so she wasn't resting on my leg anymore. "No, please, Edward, wait a second? Just let me catch my breath. I'm not done yet. I'm sorry about that." She blushed. "I want to continue. I'll remember to breathe, okay?"
I deliberated, easing the grip on her arms. "Bella, I'm not sure." I didn't want her to pass out. I tried to deny that I didn't want her to stop, that didn't I wanted to see what else she'd planned for me. By now I thought I might spontaneously combust if she proceeded any further.
"Please? I'll be good, I promise." Bella licked her lips.
God help me.
After a few minutes, she tilted back out of my reach. "Now remember, no matter what I do, no hands, right?"
Reluctantly, I wrapped my fingers around the headboard again; thankful that she wouldn't see my hands shake.
She stared at me and traced lazy circles down my stomach. Bright heat radiated where she touched, spreading through every inch of my body. Was she going to do what I thought she was going to do? I both yearned for it and dreaded it, unable to look away.
Kneeling alongside one of my calves, Bella placed both of her palms on my hipbones. Her thumbs reached downward, tracing the line of my muscles and along the crease of my upper thigh. I gripped tighter, pleading with my hands to stay where they were, rather than reaching down for Bella, yanking her into my arms and unleashing the beast within me.
Bella paused and inhaled my scent. She studied my erection with curiosity and tenderness. I felt her warm hands encircle me. Cautiously, she moved her fingers along my skin, shifting her pressure as she neared the tip. Bella switched to one hand, using the other to caress my inner thighs and stomach.
As much as I'd read about the intense feelings caused by foreplay and sex, I couldn't have prepared myself for the onslaught of emotion. A tidal wave of molten lava crashed into me, churning and leaping into the air, threatening to drown me. Everything glowed red and fireworks swirled behind my eyes.
Bella maintained her long strokes, her slow rhythm paradoxically creating a faster heartbeat in her chest. She leaned forward and kissed the crease where my legs met my torso. Her tongue flicked along my length from the base upward. Then, after a moment's hesitation, her hot mouth engulfed just the tip of me.
A growl roared out of my lips.
Bella pulled away immediately and sat up, gasping. "Oh! Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth with her hand, her face flushing red.
"No!" I realized I'd cracked the headboard in my hands. Damn. I hadn't even felt the wood snap. "No, Bella, I'm sorry. I've never felt anything like that before. It was heavenly. It was just unexpected."
"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you?" Doubt clouded her eyes. Of course Bella felt unsure. She was as inexperienced as I was, without the benefit of years of visuals. How insensitive of me to make her worry.
"I promise. You didn't hurt me." That I had to reassure her that she didn't hurt me was absurd. I shook my head. Everything was so backwards with Bella. I wished I could give her a real honeymoon, instead of this nervous, halting substitute. I wished I could pleasure her the way I wanted to, instead of fearing that the smallest movement would harm her.
"Would you like me to continue?" Bella asked shyly, her cheeks a glorious pink.
"Only if you wanted to." I felt shameless asking her to continue for my benefit. What kind of partner was I, asking her to do for me what I couldn't do for her tonight?
Bella smiled wider when she saw how my body responded to the thought of her mouth on me again. "Oh, I want to." She bent down and I couldn't stop a sharp hiss. I felt like I was melting against her tongue, warming to her temperature.
I tried not to move a muscle, squeezing the damaged headboard instead, breathing in an effort to release the tension. Just when I thought my responses to Bella couldn't grow any stronger, the slightest hint of her teeth rubbed against me before her lips curved around my length.
Bella's hair fell over her face like a curtain. Still holding me in her mouth, she paused. With one hand she flipped her hair behind her. She threw me a smoldering glance before dipping her mouth down again, painfully slowly. I moaned louder. She stared at me with half-lidded pleasure, flicking my skin with her tongue.
The howling in my head grew into shrieks, both monsters clawing for escape. Bella increased her momentum. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to beg her to stop. The pulsating, thrumming pressure kept building, building, and I knew that in a few short moments I would explode.
I needed to be inside of her fully, more than I needed anything in the universe.
"Stop. Wait, please," I pleaded.
