Data could fairly hear Geordi holding his breath as the simulation diagnostic ran. In fact he held it for so long that his friend became concerned, and leaned a bit closer to discern that Geordi's heartbeat remained normal. Finally the computer announced the conclusion.
"Simulation diagnostic analysis complete. Positronic neural net synapse synthesis processors accelerated two to the fourth power. Synapse enhancement complete. Zero positronic conduction failure. Zero synapse interface corruption. New positronic baseline established and operational."
For a moment both Geordi and Data stared at the console as if awaiting a punch line.
"Do you wish to save results and close program?"
That was it.
Geordi and Data now looked at each other and leaped from their stations.
"We did it!" Geordi hollered, and grabbed Data in a hug that would have surprised him enough to overwhelm his balance had the latter not had his emotion chip engaged, prepared for his own outburst. In the nearly two years since its implementation at his wedding Data had found more occasions where the finer elements of emotion provided a distinct advantage, such as enhancing one's ability to "think outside the box" of cold logic, and visualize possibilities that pure positronics would never consider. Once the possibilities were envisioned, positronics could take over and plot out the process to achieve them.
Now, however, the E-chip permitted two men, who had worked long and hard to achieve the latest "impossible" scientific advancement, to celebrate their success on common ground.
"Yesss!" Data roared with an exuberance that he would never learn to take for granted. "We have done it!"
It was a good thing there was no visual log recorder engaged in this most secure section of Cybernetics; nobody would have believed the sight of the chief of engineering and the ship's second officer (an android, to boot) dancing a mad polka around the cybersimulator; they'd swear it was a holographic hoax.
After another minute or two of mania the pair regained their composure, Geordi catching his breath and Data realigning his gyrostabilizers.
"Now we must," Data began,
"Do up the report and send it off to the Daystrom Institute!" Geordi threw himself back to his station as if the simulator results would evaporate if not reported immediately. Data's cooler head prevailed, E-chip notwithstanding.
"I meant to say that we should notify the captain of our results. Geordi, we have been engaged in this final simulation for eleven point two hours. One of us requires rest and nourishment, and it is not I." The E-chip also was a plus in the smartass department.
"You've got a point there. Computer, save results, double level code lock, and close program." Only now did he realize the truth of Data's observation. He was exhausted, and starving.
"I'd suggest we celebrate in 10 Forward, but it's a bad idea for two reasons."
"One is that the project and its results are to be announced only by Commander Maddox and the Daystrom Institute," Data acknowledged.
Geordi dragged himself to his feet. "And the other is that right now even synthehol would knock me flat." He hit the comlink on the simulator console.
"LaForge to Captain Picard."
"Go ahead, Mr. LaForge."
"We're done here."
"And the commander of the Enterprise has to wait with the rest of the Federation to hear the results?"
Geordi shot an embarrassed look at Data. He hadn't meant to sound secretive. "Sorry, sir, it's been a long day. Final diagnostic evaluation finds successful, in all respects."
They could fairly hear Picard's delighted grin via the comlink. "Well done, gentlemen. Well done. And quite right, it has been a very long day for you both. Mr. LaForge, you may consider yourself relieved of duty for the next 36 hours. Mr. Data you may return to duty at your discretion, though I suggest you also take at least 24 hours to reacquaint yourself with your quarters. You may complete the project report when you've returned to duty."
Not requiring rest, Data had been working on the project almost nonstop for two days. As it neared completion he felt compelled to continue until it was finished, and hadn't seen or spoken to Leo in all of that time.
"Thank you, Captain," Data told him, "For both of us."
"All three of us," Geordi cracked.
"Well done," Picard repeated. "Picard out."
As he staggered behind Data to the door Geordi gasped dramatically, "I don't suppose you'd be willing to carry me to my quarters?"
Immediately Geordi found himself slung over the android's shoulder.
"That was a joke, Data."
En route to his quarters Data realized he was bursting with the urge to share his and Geordi's success with Leo. It was a natural inclination, but ill-advised given the confidentiality required of him. Recognizing the curious benefits of his android nature, he disengaged the E-chip to allow himself a buffer of time to settle himself. No human could guarantee compliance with the parameters of the project, but he was able to turn emotional imperatives on and off, a capability that his friends, and even Captain Picard, had expressed the desire to possess.
When he entered their quarters Data immediately noticed Leo's disheartened mood. He also noted she was clutching the microbead-stuffed pillow he'd left for her during his confinement at the Daystrom Institute, a time when their future together was much in question. What had prompted her to recover it from its long-ignored resting place (likely her "chaos closet") concerned him. He re-engaged the E-chip.
"Hi honey, I'm home!" he sang out, sitcom-style, hoping it would elicit a pleasant response.
Leo rolled onto her back on the sofa. "You never get tired of that, do you?"
"I believed we both found it amusing…" he paused and then inquired, "Do you find it tiring?"
"No. I'm sorry, D, it's just been a hard day." She struggled upright and pasted on a bright expression. "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? You used to live here… welcome home!"
He joined her on the sofa. "I have missed you," he kissed her to reinforce the statement. While he noted a subtle rise in her heartbeat, the overall melancholy remained.
"I am sorry I have not been here when you have needed me."
It was no good trying to play him; he knew her too well. "It's not your fault, nobody knew things would be this hard."
"Tell me," he invited, as he always did when life was getting the better of her. Leo's deep sigh moved them both, so he kissed her again. "I know that something has been disturbing you since the captain's return," he told her. "I am sorry only that I might have been absent when you found you were ready to share it with me." He reached an arm around her, then the other.
She told him, then, about the struggle between what she wanted and what was possible, about the captain's last private words and how he hurt her without wanting to, about how she understood the reality and reason but couldn't help wanting something else. By the time she'd run out of words Leo was draped across Data's lap in a heap of misery.
"I am sorry," he repeated quietly. "I know the captain would never hurt you willingly, and I know that you understand the honesty of what he has told you. I wish I were well acquainted enough with human emotion to know how to comfort you..."
Leo reached up and hugged tight around his neck. "You're the only one who does. You're the only one who can."
The turmoil he felt in her went deeper than tears. "I would love no other," he told her, knowing that even with the E-chip fully engaged that these were the words she most needed to hear, the ones that might come closest to soothing her when her pain was beyond all logic or relief.
"Why can't it be fair," she asked him, "why can't it be simple?"
"I do not know, Leora Eileen, I know only that I love you, and wish that I could make your difficulty easier." He hoped it was enough.
"You already do, just by understanding. Nobody knows better than me how much you understand what it's like to want something very much and maybe never be able to have it." In his case, humanity. Like her situation with the captain, he was forced to content himself with "close enough". But instead of reassuring him, her words elicited a slight frown.
"Data, what's wrong? Did your Mystery Project go badly today?" She had no idea what he was working on, of course, and had nicknamed it the Mystery Project only for amusement's sake.
"On the contrary, it has been successfully completed." The joy he felt earlier felt strangely distant, as more troubling knowledge took its place. "Leo, you know as I do that with the activation of my emotion chip, I have achieved many new capabilities both in work and interpersonal behavior. But recently I have come to recognize negative possibilities as well. I have discovered in myself the capacity for selfishness."
Selfishness? He was one of the least selfish people Leo could remember ever knowing, E-chip or no. "What makes you say that? Are you thinking of hogging all the credit and leaving Geordi in your shadow?" Instead of his mood being lightened by her teasing, his frown deepened.
"From the beginning of this project -- and I still cannot reveal its nature -- the goals have been clearly outlined and its purpose very distinct. But as the work has progressed I have discovered what I see to be a deeper purpose, one that would be distinctly beneficial to myself alone. I am unable to ignore the fact that had I permitted this personal motivation to take control of my actions, the project would have been undermined."
"But you didn't, did you?"
The suggestion clearly disturbed him. "No, I could not permit that to happen. But the desire for my own personal vision of extending the purpose of the project..." he looked directly at her, "that I find most troubling."
Relieved, she hugged him and said, "Data you've just described what the rest of us deal with every day. Okay, not every day, I guess. But fighting our own inner 'gimme' is part of being human. Deanna could explain it better than me."
He looked a little puzzled. "Inner gimme?"
"You know, like when I decide you shouldn't work one more minute and should pay attention to me, when I know what you're doing is really important."
"Ah, 'inner gimme', the urge to place one's needs above all others. Is that not considered a negative emotion?"
"Only if you let it take over. I mean, as much as I wanted to hail you over and over the past two days and say 'are you ever coming home?' I didn't. Not that I deserve any medals for it, because you should know it took a lot of lectures from Beverly and Deanna to hold me back! But it's no good to beat yourself up just for wanting something for yourself. Even the seven deadly sins don't count unless you really do them." She watched him process for a moment. "Did I make any sense?"
His smile returned. "Yes. I believe it will take me some time to assimilate the many subtle aspects of human emotion. It is difficult to, as Geordi has said, 'learn as I go'."
Now it was Leo's turn to frown. "I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but it's not necessarily gonna get a whole lot easier. I learned that today, loud and clear. Jealousy is one of those seven deadlies that you don't have to do anything to be guilty of it."
This was curious. "Do you refer to your interaction with the captain? Of whom are you jealous? I am not aware of him having any particularly open social relationships among the crew." Even Data could recognize that Picard's personal connections were quietly undertaken, and limited in number.
"No, not that." A sigh followed. "I see you and Geordi, or Beverly and Deanna, and even though I have close friendships with them and others, I see something between some of you that I don't have. I used to have it, and then it was gone, and I guess that was okay until I saw the possibility for... oh, never mind I'm not making sense." She got up and went to the replicator.
"Tea, jasmine, hot, pot of honey." When she turned back she found Data right in front of her. He took the tea mug from her hand and set it on the table as if removing a distraction.
"Perhaps you only believe you are not making sense," he told her. "I believe you have just told me that you miss having a best friend."
Suddenly she was overcome by doubt. "Oh god, Data, it's not what you think... what you and I have together, it's not as if it's not enough..."
He saw where he could help, "But it is not the same. I have learned enough about human relationships and emotion to understand that. The distinction is not so very subtle."
She nodded, suddenly tearful. "Yeah, it's not, and I miss it, and maybe I'm wrong and it's just not the thing to expect from my commanding officer, it's crazy, right? But I can't help it."
Those were among her four most hated words, so Data knew what it took for her to admit such a thing. He hugged Leo to him and suggested, "Perhaps your expectations are not truly misdirected. Perhaps, as the captain confided to you, they are merely mistimed. Nothing is certain, Leora Eileen." He lifted her chin to look in her eyes. "Even we were not."
Nothing was certain, or simple, or god forbid "fair", in this life or any other she'd lived. "But sometimes it just sucks," she blurted out miserably and buried her face in his shoulder again.
"Yes," he agreed, "sometimes it does."
