THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE – SO GLAD YOU WERE ALL REASSURED AND HAPPY ABOUT CHAPTER 14. BUT THE DARK CLOUDS HAVE NOT CLEARED YET – THERE ARE HARD-TO-STOMACH, UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS STILL TO COME. BUT I PROMISE "REUNION LOVIN'" BEFORE IT'S OVER, OKAY?
THIS CHAPTER GETS INTO SOME PRETTY TETCHY, ALMOST CONTROVERSIAL, TERRITORY. PLEASE DON'T WORRY – EVERYONE'S FEELINGS ARE TREATED WITH THE UTMOST SERIOUSNESS AND RESPECT. IF YOU'RE A HARDENED CONSERVTIVE OR INCREDIBLY RELIGIOUS, AND YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED, PERHAPS CHAPTER 14 WOULD SERVE AS A BEAUTIFUL ENDING THAT YOU CAN TAKE WITH YOU. MIND YOU, THIS IS NOT A JUDGEMENT OF YOU ON MY PART, SIMPLY A WARNING. I AM AWARE THAT ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE READING FANFICTION, AND I DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE ANY HATE MAIL! :-)
IF YOU CHOOSE TO PROCEED, HOPE YOU ENJOY AND ARE MOVED.
FIFTEEN
Ten minutes before, she had been a vegetable. Now, she was sitting in the kitchen, sipping tea with her extended family, like a civilised English person. Jack and the Doctor had prepared the pot and the biscuits while Francine had had a tearful reunion with her newly-restored daughter, and Martha had gone upstairs to put on some real clothes. Well, real sweats, but at least now she was wearing trousers.
Now, Francine was on the phone with Clive, delivering the good news. She asked him to phone Tish and Leo as well. And then she joined the motley crew at the table and allowed the Doctor to pour her a fresh cup.
"So how do you feel?" asked Jack.
"A bit knackered, but it's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix," the Doctor answered jokingly. They all chuckled, and Martha playfully pushed against the Doctor's shoulder.
"I feel all right," Martha answered then. "Maybe a bit as though I'd like to scrub out the inside of my brain with a large brush, but I'm coping."
"I felt the same way the first day I came to see you," Jack told her. "So the visions are still with you?"
"Every sordid detail," she said, making eye contact with the Doctor.
"I'm so sorry," he told her.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for," she assured him, taking his hand. "None of that was your fault. Right?"
"Not directly, no," he promised. "Someday I'll tell you all about what really happened."
"Okay... although I'm not entirely sure I want to know," she said.
"Speaking of what really happened..." Jack said, just before sheepishly taking a sip of his tea.
"Jack," the Doctor warned. "Not now."
"What?" asked Martha.
They all looked at the Doctor expectantly, and he scowled contemplatively. Should he or shouldn't he? Eventually he said softly, "Martha, in your visions, I was a killer, a sadistic fiend... a rapist. I was a predatory figure."
"Yes," she said flatly.
"I'm wondering if you've worked out why."
She stared at him without expression. "Yes, I have." Her eyes betrayed nothing.
He continued to speak to her softly, though he knew full well that he could be heard by Jack and Francine. He supposed he simply wanted to signify that this was meant to be a private moment, not to be interfered with. "I have told Jack that you would tell him about it if and when you ever feel ready."
"Well, Jack needs to know, don't you agree?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow meaningfully.
"Yes, eventually, he most definitely will need to know. But I do not want you to discuss it until you feel safe in doing so."
"I feel safe here," she assured him. "I'm ready now. We can talk about it."
"Martha, are you sure?" the Doctor asked, probing her eyes for signs of fear or doubt. As usual, he found none.
"I'm sure," she told him. She took a deep breath and looked from Jack to her mother. She took Francine's hand in hers, and said, "Mum, the Doctor and I had a... relationship during our time traveling together."
Francine gulped. "I see," she said, avoiding the Doctor's eyes. "I'd always wondered. Especially after today... the kiss and all."
"We began our physical relationship on the night we left," Martha explained. "And continued nearly every night thereafter, at least for a while. It was exciting and new..." she cut herself off, a bit embarrassed.
"Sex and the stars," Jack said, as a way of showing understanding. "What could be better?"
Martha gazed at the Doctor. "I haven't found anything," she said dreamily. The Doctor smiled sheepishly back at her. "Our second proper trip together was to a place called New Earth, five billion years in the future. By then, we had been together perhaps the equivalent of a month, and we were really starting to grow attached. At least I was. Anyway, of course, we had this big adventure... giant crabs, cat people..."
Martha sat back in her chair and smiled with bemusement at the memory.
The Doctor decided to chime in from here. He glanced at Jack before he began to speak. "There is this... prophet I've run into a few times, right around that time period – five billion years, give or take, in your future. He had me summoned to his 'quarters,' and he had a couple of important messages for me. One was 'you are not alone,' which was a warning about the Master. The other was..." the Doctor sighed.
Martha used her left hand to hold onto the Doctor's, and her right hand to comfort her mother. "Go on," she told him. "It's all right."
"The other message," the Doctor gulped, and turned a loving gaze upon Martha. "Was that I was soon to become a father again."
With these words, tears began to fall from Martha's eyes, and Jack and Francine both gasped. They both felt guilty as soon as they did, but their reactions had been visceral and out of their bodies before they could control them.
"Oh Martha," Francine moaned. "I had no idea." Now it was her turn to do the comforting.
"It's all right, mum," Martha said, trying to pull her tears under control.
"Oh my God," Jack sighed. He looked at the Doctor. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I... I didn't want to pry, Doctor, honestly. I feel awful now."
"No, Jack," the Doctor said. "You do need to know this. It's actually quite important that you know."
Martha was wiping her nose with her napkin. They all waited patiently for her to being speaking again. Finally, she said, "Anyway, I didn't hear that part. I had only heard the dying words, 'you are not alone.' And the Face of..." she corrected herself, "the prophet died that day. After we sort of disentangled ourselves from that, then the Doctor and I had a bit of a heart-to-hearts."
"I told her the truth about my home planet, and how all the Time Lords were gone, including all of my family," he said. "And then I told her that she was carrying the new generation." Tears were pooling now in his eyes as well, and they threatened to spill as he squeezed Martha's hand. "She was ecstatic at first, but over the next few days, she started to get sick. I was ecstatic along with her, as much as I could be but..."
"But what?" Jack wanted to know.
"But I knew what the sickness meant," the Doctor said. "Humans are not meant to carry Time Lord children. It just shouldn't happen. Having a Time Lord consciousness inside a human body is extremely dangerous to the host, it can overwhelm the mind, cause an overload... and eventually the host's brain just burns up."
"Oh my God," Francine gasped. Now she joined the ranks, once again, of the sobbing.
"No, it's all right mum," Martha consoled her. "My brain didn't burn up. See? I'm still here." Then she looked at the Doctor. "Wait a mo'. That's not what caused the nightmares, the catatonic rubbish, is it?"
"No, something else entirely," the Doctor said.
"Okay then," she said. Then she continued with her story. "Anyway, he told me about four days later that in the past, there had been viable Time Lord-human progeny born, without first killing the mother, and that it could, might happen again. If the baby was more human, then I'd be safe. If Time Lord characteristics started to emerge, then..."
A fresh flow of tears came down her face. She caught her breath, and finished her sentence. "...then all would have to be wiped clean. Purged."
Jack looked at the Doctor desperately. "Did you mean her mind would have to be wiped clean, or that the pregnancy would have to be terminated?"
The dam finally broke, and the tears threatening the Doctor finally came loose. "I meant the pregnancy would have to be terminated. But possibly both."
"Could you have done that?" Jack asked, incredulous and horribly sad.
"I'd have done anything if it meant saving her life," the Doctor insisted, his voice breaking and his face now soaked. He stared at Martha with grief.
"He said we'd have to wait and see," Martha choked out.
"Well, how could you find out about something like that?" asked Jack. "Wouldn't an ultra-sound just show you a humanoid creature floating around in there?"
"Over time, I would have been able to sense it," the Doctor told him.
Everyone was dead silent for a few minutes. No one touched their tea, and Martha and her mother wept into each other's arms. After this long, difficult silence, Francine finally asked, "What happened?"
Martha closed her eyes and sat back in her chair.
Gently, Jack said, "Francine, maybe there are some things better left to memory."
"Yes," she whispered. "I think you're right."
