I'm SORRY!!! I MENT BIJUU NOT KYUUBI!!

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!!!

And also sorry for taking so long to bring this one out. I was waiting for my editor but for some reason her email didn't send so I'm just editing myself this time… :o so it might not be as elaborate or detailed as last chapter…

Oh I'm thinking about making a Xemnas story too.

It's ok though… yeah, so time for funny stuff. So me and my friend Kellie got kinda drunk last Saturday. And we were walking down the street after the party. And she goes "I'm scared of cops." and I go "Haha why?" cause I'm dumb. She stated why it was illegal and I was all "oooo." then I said. "I heard breathing is the only way alcohol gets outta your system. So we started like huffing and puffing till we fell over. XD

Music- Schwefelgelb - My Pornoshow

.com/watch?v=VOqk4Rhjpm0

He pulled his pants down reveling a very small pener. I couldn't help but laugh, and laugh and laugh. It was the smallest one I ever seen in my life. His anger exploded and I was slapped in the face, spit flew from my mouth and my nose started to spew blood.

"You should probably grow a penis first buddy." I laughed, my ego not faltering.

"Get on your knees bitch." I was forced down by the bonds and almost forced to do some nasty stuff.

In the midst of making gross faces I unleashed one of my coolest attacks of all. Its called telekinesis, practiced it when I was a kid. My dagger slowly started to float up, one second it was in the air. The next it was lodged through his bronchial tubes. He fell to the floor trying to breath. Within half a minute he was passed out, a few more seconds he was dead. My bonds dissinagrated and I fell to the floor.

"Ow… that was scary and painful." I grinned readjusting my shirt and pulling an eye from the bastered. "Bye mini pini" I spat on the body and walked out the door.

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

I walked out of the house wiping a bead of sweat off my head, I was seriously considering suicide for a moment. Near by my katanas were hidden safely in a bush, I rummaged around in it and took hold of my babies, putting them where they belonged, on me. Then I looked around the big city for the next guy I needed to kill.

I found the guy I was looking for. Some middle age fat dude with a balding head, he smelt like fish too...ew. Quickly I seduced him, took him behind a store and slashed his throat. Easy as pie. I walked out from behind the store whistling, and met up with the rest of the group.

"Anyone get hurt?"

"Kenta , died. We aborted our mission going after the Bijuu

"I got slapped in the face." I laughed. They all looked at me strangely.

"How did you get slapped in the face?"

"I called the Anbu guy's penis small and I was bound and he slapped me." I chuckled. The rest of cult didn't find it that funny, this is why I cant be friends with these fucks.

"We have another mission." Stupid jerks don't even want to talk about the funny things that happened in this mission!

Forget this crap. After next mission and pay I'm the hell out of here!

Of course it took a week and a half to get almost there only because of the stupid babies we had on our team. We rested about six miles away from the village, I chewed on a piece of grass and listened to them talk about killing tactics and how to drink blood without getting sick

"Boil it you stupid fucks!" I yelled getting fed up with their dense dim-witted skulls.

In the morning we started walking again.

The forest looked very familiar. Boo mewed happily from in my pocket, she was getting kinda big for a cat. I was tugged back and given a piece of paper by Mayu.

"Ok, hide this and don't open it till your in a bathroom or something. I'll meet up with you so we can take care of our person" Taiki said. Putting it in my pocket I nodded. We walked another three miles and I noticed we were in the back of Konoha!

"Oh fuck." I muttered. "Wait, I cant go in there." I muttered putting my hands up.

"You have to. Or were going to kill you."

"You guys are douche bags." I muttered. "Whatever." I walked through the front gate. My team wanted to turn on me huh? Well that only deserves… ME TURNING ON THEM!!! IN YOUR FACE!

"Henteko!" The guard dudes smiled. I grinned and waved. I looked around for those cult assassin freaks. They were hidden about doing there own little thing.

"Gonna pee my pants!" I ran to the nearest public bathroom, slammed the stall shut and opened the paper. A picture of Kakashi was neatly printed on half the paper.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed my ass off. They seriously thought I was going to kill Kakashi. Oooook.

I walked out of the bathroom and looked around for the Kyuubi kid. A.K.A. Naruto. I used my crystal eye to spot him eating ramen with some brown haired guy that I noticed to be one of the teachers. In less then five seconds I was next to him, pulled him under my jacket and slithered away. The brown haired guy didn't even see me take him, he was too busy drinking from his bowl.

Naruto struggled for a while. We appeared in the Hokage office where I dropped him out of my shirt. He fell on his butt and fearfully tried to get away from me.

"Who are you? Henteko?" Hokage asked standing up. Naruto ran to him.

"Yeah. Some assassins are in here trying to kill him," I pointed at Naruto. "Kakashi and someone else I didn't catch who. Someone strong though so they should be ok." I pulled my mask off to make sure they knew it was me.

"Who is after who?" Hokage sama asked.

"I was assigned to kill of course Kakashi, some other guy, the boss was supposed to accompany me. And he kept trying to get in my pants…." I muttered.

"So, let me get this straight? you left the village and became apart of an assassination group?" Hokage asked with a wtf look on his face. I giggled sweetly.

"Just a little…."

"Your astonishing…." he muttered. "Go find Kakashi. He's probably being attacked. I'm going to call in the Anbu." He got up taking Naruto with him. I ran out of the building. I ran past the convince store and saw a silver head poking from behind the magazine rack. Quickly I sprung into the store. Then I saw Taiki staring at me. I gave him a wink and he smirked.

Kakashi didn't notice me while he was peeking at the porno, that is, until I tackled him.

"HOLY FUCK!" He started to pull out a kunai to fight whoever attacked him.

"Its me!" I whisper-yelled.

"Henteko?!" he yelled.

"Shhh!" I put my finger to my mouth.

"I was sent to assassinate you. The boss is outside and is trying to help me. Just go along with it ok? We can talk later." I pleaded.

"What? No, I want to talk now!" he said loudly.

"You rather talk then save lives!?" I whispered angrily. He sighed.

"Fine. What are we doing?"

"I'm seducing you. And then behind the shop that guy is gonna pop up and me and you are gonna wipe him off the face of the planet." I informed him. He nodded and helped me up.

"So, behind the store maybe?" He grinned at me. Wow, what a good actor.

"Anywhere." I slapped his butt. Man I've been wanting to do that.

"WOW!" he seemed genuinely surprised. Taiki was watching, leaning against the wall, not looking suspicious at all, note sarcasm.

I lead Kakashi behind the store, I whispered gibberish into his ear. Suddenly we were surrounded. The whole group showed up.

"Oh fuck…" I muttered. They were giving us the evil eyes.

"Damn it Henteko."

"Hey, shut the fuck up. This aint my fault."

"Yes it is!" we stopped bicker when a loud crash was heard. A big herd of girls came running with pipes, swords and shit. Fan girls!

"What the hell?" Taiki asked.

"YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO HURT OUR LOVE!" they yelled it like a song. The big cult got beat senseless. Kakashi and I didn't have to do anything cept drag them out to the forest to get rid of them for good.

"Faggots…" I muttered lighting the pile of people on fire.

"Maybe the birds will eat them…" Kakashi muttered. I stared at him strangly.

"That's pretty gross. Who knew you were so macabre."

"I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away for long." he said putting his hands in his pockets.

"It really wasn't me. I was forced by these bastereds." I muttered.

"Why not just kill them like when we killed that huge group back on our first mission?" he asked. We started walking away from the fire. "Or you cant beat them without me?" He had a clever look on his face.

"I could have if I wanted to ok! I just… felt like… letting you in on the action."

"You put the village in danger... Oh well" He muttered scratching his head.

"Boo!" She jumped out of my backpack and onto my shoulder.

"Ah!" Kakashi feigned fright. I laughed at his cheesiness.

We ended up going back to my house after I retrieved my key from the hokage. No one in our village got hurt aside from a few scrapes and scratches on the fan girls. I made some tea and turned on some music. Kakashi locked my door and closed all my windows to take his mask off. His pale skin was a bit flushed.

"You look sick." I muttered handing him his tea.

"I have a small cold. Nothing big." he informed. We sat in silence for a moment. Of course I couldn't stop staring at him, and he wouldn't stop staring at me. It was annoying.

"Well… um… so.." I started.

"You have a bad habit of running away from men I'm guessing." he smirked.

"yeah… actually. More of being afraid of relationships but wanting one at the same time." I took a sip of my tea.

"So… um. Well. Should we not be together then?" Kakashi asked.

"… I duno. Because I want to be… but I have brain damage."

"I don't mind brain damage." He piped up.

"Maybe we should just lay low for a while and--" a nock interrupted my talking. Kakashi put his mask up and I answered the door.

"A letter from the Hokage." an Anbu guy handed me a letter and disappeared with that annoying smoke. I slammed my door and ripped the letter open.

"You have been temporarily dismissed from the Black opps organization untill further notice…." it spaced out a bit and I got a personal letter from Hokage. "You better like kids. You get to baby sit tomorrow!" ended with a smiley face.

"What the hell!?" I yelled.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"I get to baby sit a bunch of rotten kids. On my first day back!" I grumbled. He started cracking up.

"Hope they don't die. You'd probably teach them how to make bombs!" Kakashi kept laughing.

"Hey I wouldn't teach kids how to make bombs. Maybe how to use them but not make. I could get in a lot of trouble." I explained.

*******************************************************

"What are we having for dinner?" Kakashi asked playing Nintendo 64 while I painted my toenails black… like my soul. Seems like everything was back to normal in less then forty five minutes.

"Psh, what am I? Your wife?" I asked.

"Maybe…." His eyes were glued to the screen, he was paying no attention to anything else. "Yes!" he got a level up or something.

"Um… well what do you feel like eating?"

"Yakitori…" He mumbled.

"You want me to make Yakitori?" I asked laughing.

"Yes. And Miso and rice and carrot tempura…"

"What do I get out of the deal. I have to buy and cook the shit?"

"I'll buy you a present. A really good one. And I'll pay for the food…" He muttered. I thought for a moment. Wonder if he felt superior because he could make me cook.

"hmm… well I guess. Only cause I'm in the cooking mood. Ok lets go to the store." I grabbed my wallet just in case he flaked out on me.

"Hold on. Let me beat this level."

"Pause it."

"Hold on."

"Pause it!

"Hold on!"

"PAUSE IT!"

"FUCK! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!"

"hehe that's what you get." I laughed and pointed at his dead game character.

"Your going to pay for that." He grumbled getting up and looking at me with his beautiful face.

"Sure sure." I grinned opening the door. He pulled me back into the house. The door flung shut. "What the hell!?" I yelled.

"Told you, your gonna pay for that." He grinned jumping onto me and pinning me to the couch.

"Your one crazy muda fucka." I pushed him off and we rolled onto the coffee table breaking it. We rolled off the pile of broken wood and onto the carpet.

"Yes I am." He grinned. His face lingered inches from mine, I wanted to kiss him really bad. It was almost a burning sensation on my lips wanting to quench with his touch.

"Hey, stop being a pervert and pretending to wrestle only to touch my butt and boobs…" I pushed him off smiling and dusted myself off.

"I was not doi--" he denied.

"Shut up, don't lie." I started out the door for the second time, this time I didn't get attacked.

************************************************************************

"Ooo can we have cheesecake for dessert?" my hands snaked around a medium sized cheesecake. "Look its even on sale." I gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Are you seriously going to give me that look just so you get your way?" we stood there a second, I nodded vigorously.

"Pleassseeeee!" I really didn't wanna pay for the cheesecake.

"Fine!" he threw his hands up angrily. Jumping for joy I grabbed the cake and threw it in the basket.

"Yes!" I threw a hand up to accentuate.

"Your going to get fat…" He muttered pushing the cart into another isle. Ok, did he seriously just say I was going to get fat? I started laughing hysterically.

"How would you know!?" I yelled punching him in the arm.

"Ow! What the hell!?" he rubbed his arm and glared at me.

"I'm making you dinner and you call me fat? Your such a dick!"

"A big one." he laughed.

"Your so weird." I rolled my eyes.

"Your weird too." He insisted.

Finally we got home with all the crap we needed. Though one of my bags broke on the way home. I got mad and crushed on of the cans of beer that fell.

"Hey! We paid for that!"

"I paid for the booze. Not you." he didn't seem to want to argue with me.

"Let me open the door." He struggled with the key. Eventually I got fed up and grabbed the keys from him, dropped all my bags and opened the damn door.

"Gah!" I was stressed out to the max. The red ninja was on its way to town, I could feel it. Us women have it hard.

"Why are you so angry?" Kakashi asked helping me pick up my bags after setting his down inside. I groaned.

"Red ninja…."

"Who's the red ninja?"

"Its brings very macabre and bloody scene whenever it comes." I walked in the house and started unloading the food.

"Wow, how powerful is it?" he seemed concerned.

"Extremely. I cant control it. You should back out for a while when it gets here."

"It's that scary?"

"Oh, you have no idea." I almost started to laugh, but kept a hold on my stomach.

"When is it coming?" he asked.

"A few days…." I did the scary ghost fingers.

"I'll go tell the Hokage." He started for the door.

"Wait!" I grabbed his shirt and started busting up. "You don't get it!" I giggled.

"What don't I get?"

"Nothing is going to happen to the village. Its not a person or anything."

"Then what the hell!?" he got a bit angry.

"Its called a period." I started busting up. His face was priceless.

"Your gross!" he yelled making a gagging sound. He resumed unpacking and I just kept laughing.

Dinner was made in a matter of 45 minutes. A long ass time if you ask me. I'm used to roasting things I catch on a stick, not this grilling, oven, stove crap. If this didn't taste good I was going to be pissed.

"You have to work tomorrow don't you?" Kakashi asked. I nodded opening a can of beer.

"Unfortunately. With stupid little kids non the less." Beer was refreshing, I drank it all in one big chug.

"Don't you ever get hangovers?"

"Naw. I used to drink A LOT. Now I'm immune to any hangovers or anything." I smiled and opened another can.

"What about liver damage?"

"Yeah. I probably have that." I laughed and started to eat. Kakashi took off his mask and started to eat as well. Same thing all the time. My eyes shifted from the food to his pallid skin. Food, face, food, face.

"I need to piss!" I finally got fed up with myself and ran to the little girls room to wash my face and reapply my makeup. The mirror didn't make me feel any better. Big bags hung under my eyes which were bloodshot. My skin was a pasty white and my lips were a pale off white color.

"You ok?" Kakashi asked me. I nodded smiling.

"Yeah, just a little tired." I grinned.

"Two more days till the Halloween festival. You going with me?"

"Sure. I don't see why not."

"better buy a costume or something."

"Hah!" I laughed. "I make my own shit."

"Ok then make something tomorrow." He smiled at me and took another bite of his food.

"Want a beer?" I asked.

"I duno… ah what the hell I can have one."

.. One turned to six….