LEMON ALERT! Yes, there will be lemon in this chapter. Again, it is not too graphical since I'm trying to keep this fanfic out of the mature rating. But for safety, I'll proclaim this chapter alone as Rated M. If some of you don't like lemons, then just skip that part where it gets steamy.
A huge part of this chapter is going to be in dialogue style again.
Disclaimer: ONLY THE RING FINGER KNOWS does not belong to me. All elements below belong to Kannagi Satoru and its proper copyrights. The only things I do own are my original characters.
Note: These are not, I repeat, these are NOT the actual events of the fourth novel. This is what I guess you could call an alternate storyline. Please do not rely on this fic for information about the fourth novel or on any of the books, although I will be borrowing some scenes and events that took place there.
As Kazuki was about to make his way back home, he remembered that there were some things from his apartment that he needed. It felt like it had been ages since he was last in that place, so he decided to make a quick stop.
The building complex hadn't changed much, except for the few Christmas decors adorning the doors and walls. Even the elevator had a red and green wreath hanging from its wall. As he walked down the hall to where his unit was, he was stunned at the sight of what was waiting for him at his doorstep.
"Wataru…?"
THE UNTOUCHED RING
Chapter Eleven: A Night Born From Jealousy
Mizuho hummed a light tune as she watched the croquettes fry into a golden brown color. She was in the best of moods as one would expect. It had been a long time since she was in this kitchen preparing any meals. In fact, it was a long time since she was even in that house. And she had to admit, she missed the warm atmosphere that the house exuded.
"Yuichi," she mumbled to herself. "I wonder if he's in the mood for western for dinner…" She placed her hand to her chest and felt her heart beating with crisp clarity. But that's not all she felt. Underneath the sweater she's wearing was an object that she had kept with high value. She reached in to the neckline of the sweater and pulled out something shiny and hanging from a golden chain. It was a small locket with a basic simple—almost masculine—design. It was a common accessory that could be found in any shop, but this one was very unique to her.
It was something that Yuichi had bought not too long ago…
Studying its features with her eyes, she couldn't help but smile at it. She clutched the tiny object softly in her hand and held it near to her chest in a very gentle caress. As she did so, her heart began to beat at a wild rhythm again, and she tried her best to calm herself down. But she couldn't stop the happiness from spreading within her.
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Wataru could hear light footsteps drawing closer—the familiar presence approaching. He didn't budge from his position—back up against the door, knees pressed against his chest, and he was hunched forward so that his head was resting on his arms, which was placed on top of his knees. The footsteps came closer until he was sure that the owner was right in front of him. But nevertheless, he didn't bother looking up or making any indications that he acknowledged the other person's presence. He heard him breathe a sigh and stoop down to his level, and then he felt hands upon his shoulders shaking him, as if stirring him awake.
"Oi, Wataru," the cool and mellow voice spoke. "What're you doing sleeping in front of my door? You could catch a cold doing that, you know…"
Wataru didn't peek. He kept his face buried in his arms and gave a mumbled reply. "I was trying to get home. But somehow, I ended up here. I wanted to leave but my legs wouldn't let me…"
Perhaps he would've seen a flicker of relief in Kazuki's eyes at hearing those words if he had looked up. But then, that emotion would be washed away all too soon as another growing concern crept it. "Why didn't you go inside then?" the elder man asked. "What happened to the spare key I gave you? Did you forget it?"
"…I have it with me…"
"Then why didn't you wait inside?"
"…I didn't know if I should…"
Since Wataru still would not raise his head, he could not see the hurt expression that had flashed on Kazuki's face. Breathing another sigh, Kazuki brushed a few strands of the young boy's hair, urging him to look up. The gentleness of the gesture caught his attention, and Wataru finally looked up—their eyes meeting. Kazuki motioned for him to get up, and he did so obediently. He stood in silence as he watched Kazuki open the door for him, ushering him inside.
The apartment was pretty much how Kazuki had left it. For Wataru, it seemed forever since he last stepped foot in that place. And, for some reason, he felt like he was a stranger in this home. He didn't understand why, but there was something… uncomfortable… and it was making him nauseous.
"I'll turn the heater on right away," spoke Kazuki as he undid his coat. "How long have you been waiting outside?"
"Dunno," Wataru shook his head. "I guess I've been there for a couple of hours…"
"A couple of hours?!" the elder boy snapped. He quickly took Wataru's hands in his and, true enough, there was a prickling sensation as if he had touched something unbearably cold. "Idiot… Your hands are like ice." He brought the frozen hands to his lips and began blowing hot air on to it, but Wataru reflexively pulled his hands away. "I-It's okay!" he exclaimed while hiding his hands behind his back. "I-I'm all right… No need to raise concern…"
"Haven't I told you before?" Kazuki's eyes narrowed. "I worry for you even over the littlest of things. This building doesn't turn off the hot water, so it should still be running. Go take a hot bath or something to warm you up."
"B-But…"
"Your spare clothes should still be in the closet. Go on…"
He pulled the young boy's coat off of him, which was part of the school's winter uniform. He was about to undress the boy further, but Wataru backed away from him, mumbling nervously, "I-I can do it myself!" With his face flushed and flustered, he proceeded to the bathroom where he locked the door.
He glanced around the small room and could feel the cool tile prickling his feet. His toothbrush was in a glass on the sink right next to Kazuki's. His own brand of shampoo was also tucked in the small rack next to the shower. An extra towel was even hanging from the bar. In this small room, evidence of his presence in Kazuki's life existed. Yet, there was something heavy throbbing in his chest.
He quickly undressed himself and stood in the shower. Turning the tap on, warm and steaming water came out and drizzled on him. All the cold areas of his body were immediately warmed up, and he felt his tensed muscles suddenly relax. A lot of things were still running through his mind and he desperately needed to sort them out.
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Kazuki stared at the wooden fixture with a meaningful gaze. To be honest, he hadn't expected to find the young boy at his doorstep, but he was a bit relieved he did. He could hear the pitter-patter of water from the other room, and the longer he waited the louder that sound grew. With a heavy sigh, he began to change out of his outside-clothes and into something more comfortable. His apartment gradually became warmer thanks to the heater, and once again, he was impressed by the building's efficiency. This would probably mark the first winter he'd be having in his apartment.
He poured some water into a small kettle with the intention of making some hot tea. As he turned on the stove, his mind became disturbed again with various thoughts. In just a few days after his return, everything had completely changed. Even his stand with Wataru had changed. There were so many things to think about, such as Asaka's challenge, and also what Shohei spoke of.
Shohei…
His brother always did like to meddle in whatever he did. Whether it was school or his love life, Shohei would surely be there stick his nose in. As of this moment, Yuichi really didn't know what the elder man had told Wataru. But if he were to believe everything his brother had said, then chances are, Wataru already knows about everything.
"What a mess…" he sighed to himself, as the water began to boil, but not even the steam could compare to the turmoil he was going through. As he continued preparing the tea, he couldn't help but feel nervous and tensed. Even though Wataru had claimed he subconsciously ventured to Kazuki's apartment, the elder man wasn't completely convinced that he did it without good reason. Surely whatever Shohei had told him struck concerns and curiosities. Perhaps that's the real reason why the younger boy sought him out.
Because there were still questions that need to be answered…
Whatever was to be asked from him, he needed to answer truthfully else another argument might break out. Recently, that's all that's ever happened. Even as he would try to explain properly, something would always interrupt them. Someone would always barge in, make a statement, and Wataru would leave fuming about something. Perhaps now was a good time to sit down and talk where no one could possibly disturb them.
The ring tone of his mobile phone was heard—echoing throughout his small apartment…
And suddenly, he knew he was wrong.
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Wataru stepped out of the steamy bath clad in a fresh change of clothes. A white towel hung from his shoulders as his hair was still dripping wet. The warm bath had been able to calm his nerves and clear his head a bit. Despite the circumstance, it made him feel relaxed even a little bit. As he surveyed the area, he found Kazuki leaning against the kitchen counter with his phone to his ear. Apparently, he was conversing with someone. Wataru was about to turn absent-mindedly away, ignoring the man, but pieces of the conversation reached his ears.
"Sorry, but I really can't make it for dinner," Kazuki spoke. "I know you made it, but… This is really important. Besides, I'll still pick you up tomorrow morning. I… Okay… good night."
When he hung up, he found Wataru looking at him curiously. He fidgeted uneasily as he kept his phone away. "Was that Mizuho-san?" the younger boy asked. Kazuki stiffened a bit. "Yeah," he replied, looking at him and waiting for a reaction. He was expecting a frown, a grunt, an outburst or even a pout. Instead, Wataru just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and proceeded to pick up a few of his things that were lying on the floor. This reaction apparently did not sit well with Kazuki.
"Wataru…" he started, not really knowing what to say. "I made some tea. Want some?"
"It's fine," the young boy replied, averting his eyes. "You didn't have to bother making some."
Kazuki frowned. He stepped closer—closing the distance between them. And when Wataru looked up, the elder boy was standing right in front of him. "Ka…zuki…" he weakly mumbled. There was a glint of emotion lighting up in the elder man's eyes, but at the moment he couldn't decipher what it was. It was gentle and hesitant… yet overwhelming. He was stunned with silence as Kazuki's hands slowly came upon the towel resting on his shoulders. With a tug, the elder man pulled the rough fabric over Wataru's head and furrowed it against his hair.
"Idiot," he heard the older boy remark. "You should dry your hair properly. Do you want to catch a cold or something?"
"S-Sorry," he stuttered, suddenly feeling at a loss for words. He let Kazuki continue drying his hair for him. Despite how the towel became damp, he could still feel the heat emanating from the man's fingertips. He lowered his head, afraid to look any further into the man's eyes. Just by his touch alone he was already taken in. What more if he was smoldered by those eyes?
He felt Kazuki brush against his scalp one final time before pulling the towel aside and settling it against the nearby chair. He watched as Kazuki went over to the counter and began pouring some hot tea into two cups. "Here," one cup was held out to him. "Drink it. It'll help warm you up." Wataru stared at it for a moment before accepting it into his hands. "Thank you," he mumbled and took a sip. The hot liquid went down his throat and almost immediately he felt himself being overwhelmed by its taste and scent.
"You like it?"
"…Yeah. It's very stimulating. Thanks."
"……" (Kazuki takes a sip from his own cup)
"…Thanks as well… for letting me use the shower…"
Upon hearing the last comment, a frown marred Kazuki's features. He set his cup back down on the counter and faced Wataru with a stern expression. "What's up with you?" he asked. "You've been to my apartment many times before, but now you're acting as if you're stranger in here."
"……"
"What's going on…?"
"…It just doesn't… feel the same…"
The frown transformed into surprise. That was a most unexpected answer, but at the same time, it made something pang painfully inside the older boy. "Wataru…" he spoke. "Maybe we should sit down. There's something we need to talk about."
Wataru set down his cup and nodded in reply—something sparkling in his eyes as he did.
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The bed creaked a bit as the weight of two boys sunk on to the mattress. Wataru sat a little further close to the head board with crossed legs, while Kazuki remained at the edge with his feet softly touching the floor. An aura of awkwardness reigned over them, and the silence was deafening. There was clear tension in the air. For better judgment, Kazuki thought it best to allow Wataru to speak first. The younger boy must've sensed his thoughts because he finally began a conversation.
"…I heard from Shohei-san…" he hesitantly spoke. "He told me… about you and Mizuho-san…"
"……"
"…Is it all right for you to be here? Shouldn't you be with her at this time…?"
"She's not a kid," Kazuki scoffed. "She's eight years older than me. She's perfectly capable of handling herself. Besides, it's not like I won't see her again in the morning."
"Even though you're eight years younger than her, you still act as if you're older…"
"Huh?"
"You always act very maturely. You've got a lot of fans, you know. Both young and old… Even if you stand beside Mizuho-san, no one would ever suspect that there's a big age gap."
"What are you trying to say?" Kazuki finally asked. There was something troubling about the way Wataru was presenting his argument.
"I'm saying… the fact that she's older than you is barely noticeable! Why'd you break up with her on account of that?"
"……"
"…Kazuki?"
"…Are you going to lecture me about how I should've fought harder for her?"
"…No…"
"Then let's not talk about that!"
The emotion that had flickered on Kazuki's face astonished Wataru. It was a different kind of emotion than what he had seen quite recently. But the question is… what triggered it? Was it because he (Wataru) was the one asking the question, or was it because the break up was still a very sensitive issue to tackle? Giving in, he set those thoughts aside and asked another question.
"Why is Mizuho-san staying with you?"
"I already told you, didn't I?" came the reply. "She needs someone to look after her. My parents already have some years to them, and they can't necessarily attend to her needs all the time. Besides, she apparently becomes calm around me."
"Huh?"
"For as long as I can remember; Mizuho always had poor health. She was very delicate—like a rosebud yet to bloom. But despite that, she was always strong-willed. And I liked that about her…"
"……"
"Strong… unwavering… unafraid of whatever comes her way… Those aspects of hers caught my eye and that's how I became interested in her. The times that she would hurt the most, she'd just keep a strong front and a smile on her face. So when her letter came about her surgery, I was pretty much surprised that she wanted me to accompany her. For the first time, she was looking for strength in someone else."
"……"
"When I got to the hospital, the doctors said that she was really frightened. But the very moment she saw me, she instantly calmed down. Even after the surgery, she was recovering rather quickly. The fact that I was there beside her made the difference."
At this moment in time, Wataru began to involuntarily clench is fist and downcast his eyes. It was bad enough hearing how much in love Kazuki was from his brother, but to hear it from the man himself?! It was getting aggravating. But he kept his silence and listened intently, despite the way his heart clenched at the sound of Kazuki's sweet and tender voice.
"That was the only reason that she was able to get on the plane and fly back to Japan. Otherwise, there's no way the doctors would ever allow her to leave their sight."
"…But why is she here in Japan?" Wataru couldn't help ask out of pure curiosity.
"Her family had always been overseas and rarely see each other," came the immediate reply. "This year, they plan on spending Christmas in Japan as sort of a reunion. So she's staying over at our place until her relatives get back. They should be arriving before Christmas."
"I… I see…"
Wataru's distressing thoughts continued to submerge him deeper and deeper. Kazuki probably sensed this and he immediately stretched his hand out to stroke the younger boy's bangs. The soft and gentle gesture somehow calmed Wataru's inner troubles, and he found courage to raise his head again. "Kazuki…" he softly mumbled, being taken in by the touch. The hot fingers trailing against the contours of his face, wiping away whatever turmoil he had was like an enchantment that he couldn't help being caught in. But the spell was all too soon broken when the elder man's voice suddenly spoke.
"I spoke with Asaka earlier…"
"Hm…?"
"He told me about why you've been dating him… It's to break off an arranged marriage, right?"
"…More or less…" he hesitated.
"Why on earth did you agree to it? Even if it was to help someone out… To go as far as pretending to be his lover… Why would you do that?"
"Kazuki, I…"
Kazuki's tone wasn't that of anger. It still held some gentleness to it, but irritation was also present. "You're so helpless," he sighed. "Why do you have to be so defenseless against Asaka?"
"Defenseless?" Wataru perked, apparently upset at the choice of word. "You think I'm defenseless?"
"How many times have you let Asaka have his way with you? Whenever he confesses his love to you, you just stand there in stunned silence. Why can't you just honestly and truthfully reject him?"
"Well, I can't help it!" he scoffed. "Whenever Asaka-san confesses, he always catches me off-guard. How am I supposed to react?"
"…Like this morning?"
"Oh, for crying out loud…!" Wataru exclaimed and lifted himself from where he sat. The conversation was turning sour again. What he thought would be a calmed and civilized discussion would most probably result in a heated debate all over again. "Can we lay off Asaka for once?"
"But it's true, isn't it?" Kazuki persisted. "This morning he confessed to you in front of the entire school. But instead of turning him down, you just let him say as he pleased!"
"Like I said!" the young boy snapped. "He caught me off-guard! It's not like I was expecting him to shout it out in front of the entire school!"
"That's why I say you're defenseless!" Kazuki raised his voice and stood up to level with Wataru. "It's because you don't reject him completely that he thinks he has a chance!" Suddenly remembering what Asaka had told him earlier in the café, he couldn't help but feel his anger rising. He was probably shouting, lashing out his temper, but what his young companion did not realize was that all that anger wasn't directed at him, but at the other man who had blatantly confessed his feelings.
Wataru frowned, feeling his own anger reaching a boiling point. Why did it always have to be this way whenever they spoke about Asaka? It was very childish and utterly immature to continue arguing, but that's how Wataru felt at the moment: Childish and immature.
"So? Maybe he does have a chance!" he blurted out with aggravation.
"What?!"
"I mean… It's not like I dislike Asaka-san!" he turned his back at him, clearly upset over the matter. "In fact, I was even flattered that he'd professed his love for me in the manner in which he did!"
Wataru may have uttered those words due to the heat of the moment, but he did not see the flash of rage and jealousy that appeared in the elder man's eyes. A strong hand immediately grabbed hold of his wrist as he was spun around so that their eyes could meet, and Wataru saw it. The raw emotion flickering in those ice-blue orbs that consumed him, and at the same time, scared him.
"You don't mean that…" the raspy voice came out. "You don't mean what you just said!"
"Kazuki…?" The grip on his wrist tightened, and he visibly winced in pain. "Ah! Kazuki, it hurts! Stop it!" As he was about to protest further, he was instantly pulled towards the man's chest, and strong arms wrapped tightly around his back. Wataru tried to move his body, but couldn't. The strong embrace holding him kept him in place. He tried to struggle a bit, but when he did, Kazuki's body shook and trembled.
"Wataru…" his name was faintly whispered against the crook of his neck. "Do you… Do you love me…?" The boy's voice was weak and shaky, filled with sadness and pain—void of the anger and frustration it had earlier. Wataru had always experienced being caught in this man's arms, but this was the first time he had ever felt him tremble like this. It was like… Asaka's embrace…
Asaka…
Why were his thoughts being continuously plagued by that man? This would be the second time he's thought of the elder man whilst being caught in an intimate moment with his lover. But he really couldn't help but compare the two. The way he was held by both of them… it felt as if they were afraid to let go… When that thought entered his mind, he couldn't help but feel saddened and at the same time confused.
"Do you… love me…?" the question was repeated with a strained voice.
Wataru opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came. It felt like something was caught in his throat, constricting him. His chest felt heavy and it was like his lungs would burst. Why couldn't he answer? Rather, why was he hesitating to answer? Seconds, probably minutes, passed by and he continued to remain silent. All the while, the shaking of the arms wrapped around him never stopped.
"…You're supposed to answer 'yes'…" Kazuki mumbled, his voice shaking uncontrollably. He tightened his hold on the younger boy, pulling him closer against him, as if it was the only way to verify the boy's existence. There was something painful throbbing inside him; and it was reaching the point wherein it was turning into excruciating anguish.
A second or two passed by before Wataru finally answered, "Sorry…"
Sorry…
Perhaps what Wataru meant was "Sorry for not answering," but that one word tore something open in Kazuki. He personally had no idea what the young boy was apologizing for, and he really didn't want to be apologized to.
"K-Kazuki…" Wataru finally found his voice. "L-Let go… You're squishing me…"
Kazuki did let go. But not after grasping his elbow firmly and tossing him back on to the bed where he landed with a muffled thud. "What the hell…" Wataru grunted, recovering from the fall. "Kazuki what're you—?!" He never got to finish his sentence as he was surprised by the presence of the elder man hovering above him, just mere inches away from him.
"Kazu…ki…"
There was something glowing in the older boy's eyes… something red… and Wataru could see it clearly. He felt smothered by it. In the next instant, strong lips attached on to his and he was being pushed further down against the mattress. He fisted the man's shirt in an effort to push him away, but Kazuki instantly caught him by the wrists and shoved his hands a few inches above his head. Locking them together with one hand, Kazuki's other hand began to roam every inch and feeling every detail of his body.
"Ka…zuki…" the younger boy huffed; feeling the heat beginning to pile in him. Their lips met again in a hungry and searing kiss. The way their tongues pressed and meshed against one another completely melted Wataru and trapped him in another vicious spell. "S…Stop…" he uttered in the brief moment they parted for air—his voice held no resolve whatsoever and his body continuously reacted to every touch and caress the elder boy gave.
It felt like ages since they made love. And all of the pent-up frustrations Wataru had were willingly coming to the surface. He was able to resist Asaka's advances somehow, but he became indescribably weak against Kazuki's. He knew it was wrong… To engage in this act when at the moment there were still so many things lying in between them. But right now… they were alone.
…And no one would be able to hinder them.
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Their clothes were strewn about on the floor—discarded by the heated passion sweeping within them. The bed creaked and shuddered violently in time with their own bodies' movements. Wataru could feel a different type of passion building up inside him as Kazuki's lips trailed wet kisses and soft bites across his skin. His neck, his jaw line, his collarbone… every inch of him that could be touched and seen were lavishly attacked by those sultry lips.
"…Kazuki…" Wataru gasped as sweat trickled from the sides of his face.
"Wataru…" came the hotly whispered reply. "I won't let anyone have you…" He continued to kiss and love the young boy in the manner he knew best. His lips shifted lower and lower down Wataru's body, all the while eliciting moans and groans of pleasure from the younger boy. But there was something different with the way he pleasured him, and Wataru noticed this.
He opened his eyes slightly, and saw the top of Kazuki's head as it descended further… further down… "Kazuki…?" he mumbled, but gave out another gasp as the elder man's lips reached that part of him that throbbed with heat the most. "K-Kazuki," Wataru stuttered in surprise. He involuntarily clutched the sheets in a death-like grip as he felt Kazuki's mouth upon him—taking him in.
In the entire year that they've been together, he had never been touched nor pleasured like this. This blissful feeling was alien to him, and he couldn't help but hold back the moans that strived to come out. He kept his hands on the sheets, gripping them tighter and tighter, as he writhed in this new and fleeting sensation.
Kazuki took hold of Wataru's waist and firmly kept him pressed down—restricting him of movement. His tongue continued to lavish and worship him, caress him as if he was a treasure. He took in the scent and taste his lover had, and swallowed it all up to the point he nearly gagged. But he didn't stop; even when Wataru's whimpers and groans reached his ears. He raised his eyes a bit and saw Wataru clamping his mouth with his hands—desperately trying to muffle the sounds that threatened to come out. A look of longing appeared in Kazuki's eyes as he resumed pleasuring the young boy with his mouth.
Wataru instinctively bucked his hips upward, but was effectively pressed down again by Kazuki's strong hands. The pleasure he was receiving was unfamiliar, but intoxicating at the same time. The heat that was building up inside grew too huge to contain and he felt like he was about to explode. "Ka…Kazuki…" he rasped. "Please… I… I can't…" Unable to contain himself any longer, he arched his back up, gave a strangled cry as he reached the point of his climax, spraying his lover with his essence.
When he settled back down on the mattress, out of breath, he felt Kazuki hover above him again. He opened his eyes once more to see the elder man wiping his lips and licking them as if he had just taken in a wondrous treat. It took Wataru a moment or two to realize exactly what Kazuki was doing. "You didn't…" he muttered. "Kazuki did you…" His sentence was left unfinished as he felt the elder man's body weight settle on top of him. He was oddly startled by the presence of Kazuki's breath upon the crook of his neck.
"Kazu—"
"I'm sorry…"
"Wha…?" he was taken aback by those words.
"I'm sorry," the statement was repeated, but his voice held every amount of regret and guilt. "I should've told you myself. The things that you were supposed to hear from me, you had to hear from another person. I'm sorry."
"Kazuki…" Wataru heaved a heavy sigh. In their time together, it was seldom that Kazuki would apologize for something. But it still did not wipe away a distressing matter that's been scorching his heart since the day it was first mentioned. "Why didn't you just tell me when I first asked?"
A sigh escaped the elder man's lips and he rolled off the young boy, settling instead beside him. "Then it would've completely ruined the mood." Wataru looked up at him with a confused expression, and Kazuki immediately read it. "Just think for a moment, Wataru. We just had sex at that time and the first topic for pillow-talk you could think of was about a previous girlfriend. Don't you think it was a bit awkward and a total mood-breaker?"
"Kazuki…" That reasoning made him look stupid.
"Besides," the elder man continued. "I didn't think it was really of any importance."
"Eh?"
"It's because I have you. You're the only one I've ever looked at, and I'm the one you're looking at as well. I firmly believed in that so that's why I never really bothered to tell you about it."
"Kazuki…"
"…Besides, it really doesn't take much to get you worked up about something. Especially when it comes to my tastes…"
"……"
"Wataru…?"
"But… your letter… It was a bit… I dunno… strange…"
"Ah, that…" Kazuki commented nonchalantly. "It's not like I had complete liberty in writing it—not with those annoying nurses peeking over my shoulder once in a while…"
"Nurses?"
"Didn't I just say that I was with Mizuho the whole time? I probably only slept in a hotel once or twice. Anyway, people just kept glancing around so I couldn't properly write what I wanted to say. And… I'm not really good… at writing a…" He trailed off with his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. It took Wataru a moment to realize that he was referring to a love letter.
Kazuki's actually not good in something?! And a love letter to boot?! You've got to be kidding me… "But your ring," he opened a new topic. "Your ring is…"
"That…" there was a hint of hesitation present in the elder boy's voice. "I'll explain it to you properly. Just promise me not to freak out, okay?"
"Freak out? Why would I freak out?"
"You're one to talk. You're also not wearing your ring…"
"……"
"…And there's still the ordeal with Asaka…"
"Can we please not talk about Asaka-san?" Wataru sighed in exasperation. "Nothing good ever happens whenever we talk about Asaka-san."
"All right," Kazuki conceded. "You spoke with aniki, right? Did he bully you too much?"
"He was… very blunt about things… especially the part with you and Mizuho-san being lovey-dovey."
"……"
"Kazuki…?"
Wataru grunted the moment he felt the elder man roll back on top of him, his body sinking further into the mattress. When he looked up, he could clearly see the worried expression appearing on his beloved's face. "Kazuki? What's wrong?"
"I wasn't thinking properly back then," came the response. "It was a bit foolish of me. But when I thought it over afterwards, I was actually glad that my parents walked in on us. If they hadn't, I might've been saddled with an even bigger responsibility—something I'm not quite ready for."
"Eh…?"
"So don't let what aniki told you get to you too much…"
"Wait, Kazuki," Wataru interrupted, his face filled with confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Huh…? The time my parents found out about Mizuho and me…"
"What about it…?"
Kazuki pouted a bit. He didn't like the way Wataru was acting so clueless. It was as if the young boy wanted him to admit it in person—something that really didn't sit well with Kazuki. "You already know…" he murmured in a low voice. "About… me… Mizuho… how we… nearly had sex…"
"You nearly had sex with her?!"
"W-Why are you sounding so surprised? You already knew…"
"No, I didn't."
"Eh? Didn't aniki tell you…"
"All Shohei-san told me were about the romantic dates you two had and a couple of make-out sessions. But he never mentioned anything about catching the both of you about to have sex!"
In an instant, Kazuki knew he had been deceived again. Somehow, he could clearly imagine his brother's mischievous face snickering in triumph. Oh, how he was going to kill that man! "That's it," he voiced his thoughts. "I'm going to murder him the moment I see him!"
Despite the rising temper the older boy was sporting, Wataru couldn't help himself picture an actual scene between Kazuki and Mizuho. The way they would hold each other in intimacy, kiss, and love the way couples should love. And when he thought of it that way, he couldn't help but agree somewhat to what Shohei had told him—that Kazuki and Mizuho looked perfect together.
It was awkward and strange… thinking of his partner intimately involved with another person… especially when they were still in bed together! But somehow, the thought would not escape his mind, and he suddenly began to feel dizzy like his head was swirling about. He tried to shove Kazuki away, and make a motion as if he was going to get up. Kazuki looked at him with a curious face, clearly sensing the distress the younger boy was going through.
"Wataru…? What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. Wataru mumbled something in reply, but it was too low to actually make out. "Wataru…?" His confusion was apparent on the surface, but Wataru refused to meet him in the eye. Once again, the mood began to turn sour. "Wataru, what's the matter?"
"…It's nothing," the younger boy replied, still trying to pry himself away from the elder man's grasp. "I think I better go home. It's getting later and later."
"What? You always spend the night here. What's gotten in with you?"
"I told you, it's nothing!!"
Before he could make any further protests, he was pinned down heavily against the mattress, and Kazuki was looming above him—hovering like a hawk. Wataru's black eyes that were shimmering with enmity met with Kazuki's expressionless ones. The blank gaze the elder man was giving him was tearing him up inside. He didn't want to be seen by such eyes, especially at a moment when he was feeling anger boiling up inside him. It was as if his mind was screaming, "Talk, shout, cry, whatever! Just don't look at me with those eyes. Do something—anything! Just don't look at me like that!!"
"Hey," Kazuki's voice reached his ears. "I'm the one you're looking at, right? I should be the only thing you see, right? So why are you looking differently now?"
"Eh?" Wataru uttered in confusion. What was Kazuki talking about? What did he mean 'looking differently'? If anything, it's Kazuki who was different. Or… could they be thinking the same thing…?
"Haven't I told you before?" the elder man continued. "To believe in me no matter what…?"
As the words were spoken, Kazuki descended upon him again, pressing their lips together in utmost intimacy. The passion spawn from that kiss began to overtake Wataru in a way he did not expect. He was kissed differently and vigorously, so much so it left him breathless and at the same time excited. He turned his head to the side as Kazuki attached himself to the crook of his neck—kissing, nipping, biting at the soft and tender flesh—leaving a mark of his own once again. The mark that he had left the other day was still present, and it glowed proudly.
"Kazuki…!" Wataru breathed out, as he felt the elder man settle in between his legs, rubbing against him to full stimulation. He trembled as he felt something enter him, and winced at the sudden intrusion. He tried to calm down the rapid beating of his troubled heart, but he found it hard to do so, especially when he was immediately swept away by the act of being loved and caressed.
"K…Ka…zuki…" Wataru bit his lip, trying to contain this pleasure dominating him. There was something odd and strange with the way Kazuki was holding him. It wasn't the same warmth and gentleness he came to know. There was something… different. He didn't quite know what it was, but it definitely wasn't the same. The arms that had often held him and caressed him suddenly felt foreign.
As he tried to figure out the difference, he didn't notice how perturbed the elder boy was with the way Wataru restrained himself.
0-n-L-y--t-H-3--R-1-n-G--F-1-n-G-3-r--k-N-0-w-5-z--t-H-3--u-N-T-0-u-c-H-3-d--R-1-n-G
Wataru sunk back on to the sheets, tired and perspiring, lying on his side. Exhaustion was beginning to overtake, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep and rest. Within the dreary silence that had reigned over them, he felt Kazuki slink an arm around him, and pulled him closer so that his back met with the older boy's chest. He made no motion and merely pretended to be asleep.
They had finished their love-making with little to no effort. But as their climax departed them; neither made a sound nor a motion to strike up another conversation. Wataru could feel Kazuki's long sigh upon the nape of his neck, and the heavy pounding of the man's heart. But he still did not stir awake.
"I love you…"
The soft and gentle words were whispered against his flesh, and Wataru's body momentarily went rigid, but he immediately recovered and relaxed himself. It seemed like ages since he last heard those words from the older boy, and he felt like he was about to cry. He kept silent and continued to feign sleep, even as Kazuki gradually relaxed his hold on him.
Wataru was about to drift into real sleep, but one word escaped Kazuki's lips that caused his heart to shatter and his insides to burn.
"…Mizuho…"
He stubbornly held back the tears that were threatening to fall.
To be continued…
What the hell?! What's going on here?! What the hell is wrong with Kazuki? (Insert other profanities)… Why'd you leave the chapter ending like that? Update! Update! Please update!!
...More or less, that's what some of you are thinking, right?
Whew! This chapter was really challenging. "How can I make a love scene that was completely mutual, at the same time seemed restrained?" Yeah, that's what I was thinking, and it made me completely nervous about it. Anyway, the title is "A Night Born from Jealousy" so… the title is pretty much self-explanatory.
Next chapter: Letting Go. It's time to come out of the closet! But first, we must mend what was broken.
Review! Don't be shy. C'mon, it's easy. Just click that pretty purple button at the lower left-hand corner. Really simple and easy, right? Yes, leave a review.
