Thanks to those who greeted me a happy birthday!
Like I said in the previous chapter, this chapter is all about a certain character.
Disclaimer: ONLY THE RING FINGER KNOWS does not belong to me. All elements below belong to Kannagi Satoru and its proper copyrights. The only things I do own are my original characters.
Note: These are not, I repeat, these are NOT the actual events of the fourth novel. This is what I guess you could call an alternate storyline. Please do not rely on this fic for information about the fourth novel or on any of the books, although I will be borrowing some scenes and events that took place there.
THE UNTOUCHED RING
Chapter Nineteen: Driven to Desperation
Sayuri was only five years old when she was introduced to the world of Japanese dance. She remembered peeking through the tiny holes she had made on the shoji screen door, and admiring the older girls who danced with finesse and grace. Their kimonos were of vibrant colors that made up interesting patterns with every sway of movement they did. Their fans twirled at the ends of their fingers, flipping and tossing with excellent precision—not a single person dropped it.
At the front of all those girls was her grandmother, still looking young, but the years were becoming apparent on her face. She clapped her hands to the beat, instructing the girls to give more fervor and passion in their dance. "Move those feet!" the old woman would command. "Dancing is an art, not a diplomatic march! Faster! Gentler! More graceful!" Each time she bellowed in a loud and high-pitched voice, the students would wince and work their bodies to the limit until pain would overcome them.
Sayuri had always admired her grandmother for being the stern teacher that she is, but also the kind and loving old grandmother who enjoyed baking cookies for her. She would always sit there in her tiny hiding spot, until someone would find her, reprimand her and send her off someplace else. And then always, at the end of the day, her grandmother would look for her and offer her some tea and biscuits to munch on.
Her father, by his own craft, was a carpenter, who toiled many hours of the day in various construction sites, earning as much as he could to bring home some dinner. Her mother worked as an attendant at a hotel, and often entered the lottery. The most she had won were coupons for discount items. Each time she got one, she'd announce it to the family, and Sayuri would hop on to her lap in rejoicing.
Her family was mediocre. She didn't have to be told of that to know it. Even though both her parents worked and managed to get a minimum wage, the true bread-winner of the family was her grandmother, who kept the family business—traditional dance—running. She would earn a lot of money from the families of the girls she teaches. And every Friday, they would bring in the weekend with a hot pot dinner. Her mother would buy some specialty meats and all the ingredients needed at the convenience store, and hurry home to prepare them. Her father would always stop by the liquor store to get some fresh sake. And when dinner was set, everyone gathered around and filled themselves to their heart's content. The adults would drink sake, while she had orange juice.
That was the kind of life Sayuri had led, but she was happy.
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When she was about to turn seven, Sayuri took a different interest from the traditional Japanese dances she had grown to admire. She had discovered ballet, and was amazed by the flexibility, beauty and grace the ballet dancers had. How she envied them… She locked herself up in her room and tried a few moves like the pirouette. But she ended up tripping on her own feet and falling flat on her bottom. She had cried and rubbed the hurt area.
Her grandmother had come into the room as soon as she heard her wailing. The old woman stifled a giggle at the sight of her granddaughter dressed in the young girl's mother's female Santa-suit for the hotel's Christmas-motif the previous year. She approached the crying girl and gently took her in her arms. "My dear, what's the matter?" she had asked. Sayuri sniffed a bit and mumbled, "I was trying… to be a ballerina…"
"Ballerina…?"
"Mn-uhm…"
"Well… if that's what you like, dear…"
The old woman steadily rocked the young girl to hush her tears. Sayuri had glanced into her beloved grandmother's eyes and asked, "Is it okay if I want to become a ballerina instead? You won't be mad?" Her grandmother laughed. "Why would I be mad?" she asked. "Ballet is also another form of dance. And who said you can master only one particular dance? You can learn as many as you like."
"R-Really?"
"Yes. You can even master all of them if you wish."
The old woman's words comforted her, and it assured her of the many other types of dances she had yet to discover—different styles and different music. She wanted to learn them all.
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On her seventh birthday, her grandmother had become seriously ill. She was bedridden for days, coughing, sneezing. There were times that she even lost her voice. When she became unable to continue teaching; a substitute was hired—one of her grandmother's former students and a graduate of the school. Sayuri thought the replacement was good, but her grandmother was still better. Every day, a doctor came by, bringing along some weird tools that she didn't know of. She didn't like it whenever the doctor dropped by. Because whenever he did, her parents would become sadder and sadder. Her grandmother began saying things like, "That's the way it is," or "Let's just learn to accept it." Afterwards, her mother would break into tears while her father would start drinking heavily—a sign of depression.
One day, Sayuri had come home from school after playing with her friends. She had also stopped by the florist and bought some daffodils. She was hoping to give them to her grandmother as a get-well present. When she got back home, she was met with grave expressions. The doctor was there again, and he was shaking his head in deep apology. Her mother burst into tears, and her father looked completely broken.
She approached Sousuke, the old man who took care of her grandmother's garden, and asked, "What's wrong? Is obaasan okay?" Sousuke had looked at her sadly and painfully, and then he knelt down and embraced her. "Hisane-sama… is sleeping right now…" he muttered.
"Sleeping?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "When will she wake up? I brought her some daffodils."
"She… Hisane-sama… won't be waking up… ojousama…"
Sayuri looked with downcast eyes at the bouquet of daffodils she was holding. Perhaps it was a good idea to plant them in her grandmother's garden.
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Shortly after her grandmother died, their family was faced with a startling dilemma: Where to get the income? By legal right, they could continue the Hongo School of Japanese Dance that her grandmother had built. But since the old woman's death, students have been gradually dropping out, and it would soon pose as a serious issue. She remembered over-hearing her parents discuss the topic—and it was a very heated discussion.
Her mother thought it reasonable to sell the school—gain profit from its dispense. But her father disagreed, reasoning that the school was practically a family business. "My mother built that school," he said. "When 'tousan died, she managed to support me and get me to finish high school with it. I'll admit the profits earned from it at the time weren't strong enough to pay for college, but there's no shame in that!"
"That's not the point, dear," her mother said back. "Right now, the school is losing students, with it, our source of income! By the time that school loses its value, we'll be penniless and out on the street. Think of our daughter's future!"
"I am thinking! We'll… we'll get through this…"
After that, a lot of changes were made to the house. There were rooms that were rented out to different people. Most of the antique furniture was sold to discount retailers and second-hand shops. And her grandmother's precious silk kimonos were sold off as well. Little by little, the house that Sayuri had come to know her whole life gradually changed.
She didn't like having strangers in their house. They were rude, and often invaded their privacy. She wanted them to leave. Then one day, an old woman wearing a nice dark-blue, satin kimono entered their home. Sayuri could tell that she was very pretty during her youth. Her parents seemed to make a fuss at the old woman's appearance, being courteous and always bowing to her. She watched as the elderly woman reached into her purse and took out a rectangular notepad. The texture was different from a regular paper. Sayuri wondered what it could be. She saw the woman scribble something on it, ripped off the first sheet (which she had written on), and handed it to her parents.
Her parents' eyes widened as they read the contents, and immediately bowed their heads, uttering words of gratitude and thanks. The old woman waved her hand and said, in a clear and mellow voice, "It's all right. Hisane and I have been friends for a long time. It's the least I can do to help. Just call me if there is anything else you need." With those words, she left their home. The very next day, all those strangers renting their rooms were evicted.
Her parents were not content with merely retrieving their house. Apparently, the visit from that old woman had sparked something in them, and they decided to move up the chain of social hierarchy. Her father put his livelihood of carpentry aside and enrolled in college, taking up Engineering. Her mother applied for a managerial position in the hotel she worked in. She was considered, and she eventually got the job.
Her father became successful as an Engineer in no time – flat. Eventually, he was able to make a name for himself and set up a Construction Company, and even made some renovations to their home. Her mother made it big as a manager, gained enough fame and income to start her own hotel, which also became a success. She also helped her husband in promoting his business, and together, the Hongo Construction Company flourished—becoming known as a top company for building hotels, restaurants and resorts.
Using the income and profit from the company, they managed to keep the dance school alive, hiring other instructors to teach, thus pulling back in the students. Sayuri, taking her place as one of the students, shook her head as she saw the fine mahogany wood and the enormous chandelier dangling from the ceiling. She missed the old tattered pillars and the coffee-stained tatami mats.
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Sayuri remembered a time when she had to walk to school or ride a bicycle. But now she was being driven to school in a limousine complete with a chauffer. Even her stuff was gradually changing. From simple, hand-crafted materials to brand-labeled merchandise. Her classmates were all at awe in her remarkable transformation. In her mind, she thought everything was still normal. But she soon started feeling that she was being slowly excluded from the group.
Her classmates with whom she often chatted to during break time; now she could barely strike a proper conversation with them. Whenever they were choosing partners for an assignment or project, Sayuri had trouble picking a partner because no one would choose her. At the lunch table, everyone was huddled together, while she sat in a lonely corner. She began to wonder what could've possibly evoked such a change. But each time she would look at them, they would avert their eyes and turn their heads away.
One day after class, she caught sight of her friends playing soccer in the nearby field. Taro, one of the boys in her class, kicked the ball way off and it landed near her. "Hey!" he called out. "Can you kick it back here? Uh…" He fell silent when he realized it was Sayuri who had picked it up. "Hey guys," she greeted. "Do you need another player?"
"Uh…" the boy drawled uneasily. "No need. We already have enough players."
"How about reserve then?"
"Well, um…"
"Sayuri-chan!" a girl from the bleachers called out.
Sayuri whipped her head to see it was Anna, her best friend. The young girl approached her hurriedly with a somewhat worried expression on her face. Sayuri leaned her head on the side as if in question. "Anna, what's wrong?"
"You shouldn't be here!" the girl hissed.
"Why shouldn't I be here? We're friends, aren't we?"
"Sayuri-chan… You… you're different now."
"Different? How?"
"Well… you're rich… I mean, everyone is thinking so highly of you now. It'd be bad if you were caught mingling with us."
"Mingling? Anna, we're best friends! Why would it be wrong to 'mingle' with you?"
"Sayuri-chan… look… we're from different worlds now. Just go, okay? Please…?"
Sayuri looked incredulously at the young girl she had considered to be her best friend for so long. She couldn't believe what she heard. She clutched her bag tightly as she watched Anna run back to the field where the game resumed. All of them looked as if they were having fun, while she was alone and lonely.
When she graduated from Elementary, it was the last she had seen of them.
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Junior High brought her jitters and partial worries. She had never entered a private school before, and she was quite worried of what type of people she'd meet. On the first day of school, she met a girl with brown hair that curled just below her ears, and brown eyes. They were of the same height, and she was also very kind. Her name was Reiko, and they instantly became friends, and Sayuri was happy. She thought she had found someone who could fill in the void that Anna and her other friends had left behind.
With careful thought and deliberation, she decided to enter the Archery Club. She had just read a novel about archery, and became fascinated by it. Though she still liked to dance, she thought that archery would also be quite an exciting experience. It was during club practice that she first caught sight of a girl with jet-black hair and raven eyes. She later came to know her as Ookusa Miho—two grades above her.
Sayuri greatly admired her senpai—not only because she was a true beauty, but because of her presence and self-confidence. She often came running to her if there was anything she didn't understand, or she needed help with her shooting. Together with her academic excellence, which she faithfully maintained, she thought that she had well-adjusted to a new life of high society and popularity.
It was in summer when she first caught sight of him—Yanagizawa Seiichi. He was an upperclassman, but he went to the same club as her, so she would see him regularly. Seiichi was arguably one of the handsomest and the coolest boys in school, spawning a fan club of his own. Sayuri wasn't too particular of boys, but she found him irresistibly cute.
Their first meeting was at early morning club practice. Sayuri, being the newcomer, decided to go to the club early and start practicing so as to show some progress in her shooting. When she arrived, she was greeted with the sight of the young man maintaining his stance as he formed a beautiful arch with the bow, and released it. Thwack! She could hear the arrow-head's impact straight at the bull's eye. With each recurring sound, she felt her heart pound louder; her eyes were fixated on the sight. She had never seen anything more beautiful and enchanting before. The boy's bleached hair gleaming under the morning rays of the sun, his sharp emerald eyes focused on the target… Sayuri thought she was going to faint.
She felt feverish, excited, and also scared. She was nervous, but at the same time, turning timid. She couldn't understand the sudden complexity of these emotions, but she was also unable stop her pounding heart. She hid before he could glance at her—her face fully flushed.
In the succeeding club practices, she had learned that the reason Seiichi wasn't present in the school-opening ceremony is because he was at an archery competition, and he had proudly won first place. There were times when their eyes accidentally met, and she would blush all over. Seiichi would smile and wave at her. On one occasion, she needed help with her stance. Miho, noticing Sayuri's discomfort at Seiichi's presence gave an all-knowing grin, and pulled the young man closer. "Yanagizawa-kun, could you please coach Sayuri here?" she asked. "There's something I need to check." Seiichi had looked at Sayuri, scrutinized her from head to toe, and nodded. "All right," he spoke. "Anything for a pretty girl…"
Sayuri had difficulty processing what was happening. Did Miho just pass her on? And to Seiichi no less! She burned red with embarrassment, and quickly looked for an alternative. But before she could think of anything, Seiichi was already behind her, one of his hands holding her left wrist, the other her right elbow. She gulped at the contact, and the elder man let out a soft chuckle. "It's okay," he almost whispered in her ear. "I won't bite." And it was in that position that they continued the lecture, and Sayuri quietly imagined that they were locked in an embrace.
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"I like him," she said to Reiko as they were eating their lunch one afternoon. They were at the rooftop of their school. "I really like Yanagizawa-senpai…"
Reiko shrugged. "What's there to like?" she asked. "He's just like any guy that would come your way. He flirts with you, thinks you're easy, and once he gets what he wants, it's over."
"Eh? That's not true. Yanagizawa-senpai is very nice and considerate."
"That's what you think."
Reiko resumed eating her tempura, leaving the young girl to ponder over things. They were in different clubs, so they could only spend time during class. Over the weekends, Reiko seemed so busy that it was hard to catch her at a good time. Sayuri reasoned it's because the girl likes too many extra-curricular activities, and does a lot of charity work. But she was still happy that she had a friend.
"Hey, Sayuri," Reiko spoke. "I heard that Asuma-kun has a crush on you."
"Eh? Asuma-kun?" Sayuri choked. "The hot-shot who's rumored to have slept with a dozen girls already? The guy who still hasn't graduated because of his low grades?"
"Yeah… I heard he really likes you, and is actually quite shy to approach you," the girl poked her.
"Why would he be shy to approach me?" she scoffed. "For a womanizer, I think he'd have no problems in talking with a girl."
"Don't you know?" Reiko sighed. "A guy is always shy around the girl he likes, no matter how much of a womanizer he is. Besides, Asuma-kun is rather handsome. Do you want to go out on a date with him?"
"I don't know…" Sayuri drawled. She paused for a moment as she heard the door faintly squeak open. She thought someone was there, but she waited for anyone—even a shadow—to surface, but found none. She just assumed then that it was probably the wind blowing against the door.
"Do you hate Asuma-kun?" Reiko asked again.
"N-No! I don't hate Asuma-kun! But I…"
"Then that means you'll go out with him…"
"Reiko! I… I didn't say that…"
"Come on, Sayuri, make up your mind. Do you hate the guy, or do you like him?"
"I… I don't dislike him…"
"Then go out with him."
Sayuri bit her lip. She had no idea why Reiko was insisting on a date with Asuma. But she thought there won't be any harm in her going out with him for just one day. After all, it's not like Seiichi would suddenly start noticing her and ask her out. She shrugged her shoulders. Why not? What did she have to lose?
"All right, Reiko," she said. "I'll go out with Asuma-kun."
As she resumed eating her sliced tonkatsu, Reiko smirked and her eyes glittered.
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Her first impression of Asuma was definitely the right one. He was a womanizer from head to toe. He didn't have respect for personal space, and he would always find random reasons to get his hands on her. Sayuri lost count of the many times she had slapped and swatted his hands away. He was handsome all right, but that was all the merit he had. He wasn't smart, neither was he a gentleman. And quite frankly, everything about him aggravated her. She regretted going out on a date with him, and how she wished she had just gone to watch the club's varsity team practice. At least she could've gotten a glimpse of Seiichi.
"So… should we go to a hotel now? Or do you prefer my house?" Asuma asked when their date was about to come to an end.
"Excuse me?" Sayuri sputtered. Oh, this guy was really fresh… and direct! "I'm going home, and you're going the other way!"
"Oh, playing hard to get, huh?" the boy mused. "That's fine. I like a good chase."
"There is no chase," Sayuri fumed. "I think you're the most vile and despicable man alive!"
"…Now that's not cute," Asuma muttered. "Look, there's no need for you to save face around me, doll. I know you're desperate but there's no need for harsh words."
"Desperate?" Was this guy for real? "Who said I was desperate? I only went on this date because I was asked to. I am not going to bed with you!"
"Not going to bed? That's not part of the deal."
"Deal?" Sayuri repeated. "What deal?"
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The following day in school, Sayuri sought Reiko out. She found her behind the Archery Club, but she wasn't alone. Sayuri gaped and opened her eyes wide at the sight of Reiko and Seiichi kissing—passionately! As the two parted for air, she saw Reiko glance at her from the corner of her eye and smirked. That gleam of superiority… Sayuri had never seen it before. It scared her so much that she felt her knees tremble and her feet glue to the spot. She watched painfully as Seiichi leaned down to plant a small kiss on the girl's forehead, before heading off to club practice. He had his back to Sayuri all the time so he didn't see her there.
When he was gone, Sayuri found the nerve to approach Reiko with lots of questions. "Reiko…" she muttered. "What's the meaning of this? Why…?"
"Are you still that dumb?" the other girl sneered. "Haven't you figured it out yet?"
"…You… You set me up with Asuma-kun for this? So that you could have Seiichi…?"
"That's one of the reasons," she shrugged. "The other was because of a bet."
"Bet?" Sayuri remembered Asuma saying something about a 'deal'. That was the very reason why she had sought out the girl in the first place.
"Every year there's a bet, you see…" Reiko explained. "About which gullible girl will Asuma-kun sleep with next… A lot of the students here take up this bet, and even work hard to set them up with Asuma-kun. I bet you would, but you failed that expectation of mine."
"……"
"That's why I decided to get a different reward instead."
"…So you're dating Seiichi to get back at me?"
"…And that's why I say you're so dumb, Sayuri. Not even noticing what's practically at the end of your nose…" Reiko shook her head and turned away. "See ya' later." She waved and left.
Sayuri stood there alone, disbelieving what she had heard, and yet, all of them were true. From then on, whispers and murmurs were heard whenever she passed in the corridor or entered a room. Apparently, word had spread about the 'bet'. Though it was confirmed that she never slept with Asuma, people liked to exaggerate rumors, and decided to make up their own versions. And from a distance, Sayuri could see Reiko and Seiichi forming the perfect couple on campus.
She lost the drive to attend club meetings and practice. Even her colleagues at the club had begun to look at her differently for reasons she didn't know. Only Miho, ever her favorite senpai, still approached her. But the girl's presence still didn't comfort her. It was only later she found out that Seiichi also apparently had a crush on her as she did to him. He was gathering his nerve to ask her out, when he had overheard her and Reiko talking about Asuma—whether she should go out with him or not. He had misinterpreted the conversation and assumed that Sayuri liked Asuma. She would also find out later on that Reiko always had a crush on Seiichi, and had been after him since the start of the school year.
Sayuri blamed herself for being too stupid and trusting, and vowed never again to seek friendship or true companionship. First Anna, and now Reiko… It was too much. She had been hurt enough.
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She ran home crying that day. She secluded herself in her grandmother's garden amid the daffodils that she had planted the day her grandmother died. She wished things would go back the way they used to. She didn't care no matter how many tears she had to shed. She'd cry—cry all she wants—and no one would see except for the daffodils. In this lonely garden, she'd cry her heart out entirely.
"Hello, what do we have here?" a smooth and mellow voice called out.
Sayuri, startled, quickly whipped her head around to take a look at the intruder. Standing before her was a tall, young man with reddish brown hair and deep tan eyes. He had a soft and gentle smile on his face, and eyes that sparkled so dreamily. Sayuri sniffed and rubbed her nose that was beginning to run. She patted off the dust from the pleats of her skirt and straightened up. "H-Hello," she uttered, trying to regain composure. "What… What may I do for you?"
"Oh, I'm Asaka Masanobu," the handsome man said. "You must be Sayuri-chan then. The last time I saw you, you were only a baby."
"U-Um…" she drawled, quite taken back by the sudden appearance of this handsome man. "H-How do you know me?"
"Well, my grandmother was friends with your grandmother. They've actually supported each other numerous times. Your father does business with our family, and I've been sent here as a messenger."
"Oh…"
Asaka studied her features carefully, taking full notice of the tear-stains on her cheeks. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and gently pressed it against her face, ridding it of tears. "What's a pretty girl like you crying for?" he asked. "If you ask me, you're the one who should be breaking hearts, not the other way around."
Sayuri blushed at the comment. She watched as he pulled back, finished cleaning her face.
"Masanobu? There you are!" A female voice called out from the house. "What're you doing there? Hongo-san is already in here. Come on. Ah, who's this pretty thing?" The woman asked upon noticing Sayuri's presence.
"Yuina, this is Sayuri-chan. She's Hongo-san's daughter," he pointed out. "Sayuri-chan, this is Yuina. She's my girlfriend who suddenly decided to tag along. Careful though, she has a mean right-hook."
"Masanobu!" Yuina berated. She approached the young girl and smiled. "What a lovely thing… Wait… you were crying, weren't you? Did Masanobu pick on you? Shame on him!"
"Yuina…" Asaka muttered.
"But don't you worry Sayuri-chan! Masanobu makes a lot of girls cry…"
"Yuina, let's go. We still have business with Hongo-san."
"Right… Well, it was nice meeting you Sayuri-chan."
With a wave, the two went back into the house, leaving Sayuri in the garden. However, she didn't feel as sad or depressed as she had been earlier. In fact, she felt quite relieved at the moment. She remembered the way Asaka had been gently stroking her… so familiar with Seiichi's kindness… and so different of how Asuma had come on to her… Yuina was also very nice… like the way her senpai treated her… and unlike the betrayal Reiko had given her…
Reiko…
That's right. There's no way she would ever forgive such a crime against her. That experience changed her. Now, she's smarter… wiser… she won't let anyone make a fool out of her again.
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The next few months cemented Sayuri's change. She quit the club, and stayed away from any extra-curricular activities. She focused herself on her studies and in traditional dance, which she originally was already learning. She excelled in those fields. She even changed her attitude. She kept an air of superiority around her. She wouldn't allow herself to be trampled again.
She didn't bother mingling with social circles on her leisure time. She kept a sophisticated front that caught everyone's attention. The girls had sneered at her, but she countered by saying their clothes and make-up were tacky—attempting to be pretty when it was clear that they weren't naturally beautiful. One girl had gotten so angry that she attacked her with a pair of scissors. Sayuri wasn't seriously hurt, but when her parents heard of it, they sought out to get that girl expelled from school. When the school didn't comply, they took it to the Board of Education, and the school got reprimanded for ignoring the students' safety. It caused a scandal that led to the girl being eventually dismissed.
The other students didn't dare go up against her ever since. Some students feared her, while others admired her, saying that she represented a new and empowering movement. All the while, Sayuri's relationship with Seiichi and Reiko became estranged. Miho, though, did not approve of Sayuri's change in pace. She said that the girl was fine the way she is. Sayuri just laughed, saying she prefers the 'her' that she is now. That was the last time they spoke as friends.
At the seniors' graduation, she heard that Reiko and Seiichi had broken up. Though she was glad that the relationship eventually failed, she thought it was childish and pointless to try reconciling. Seiichi had approached her that time. He told her he finally found out about Reiko's plan, so he left her. He said he wanted to try being with Sayuri as he had really wanted. For a moment, Sayuri thought she felt her heart leap, but it came back to earth all too quickly. "Sorry," she had said to him. "I don't want to date you. Even though you and I walk on the same pavement, we come from different worlds." She turned her back at him and walked away, leaving him speechless and dumbfounded. That was the last she had seen of him.
Sayuri continued on with Junior High. Two years would fly by quickly, after all. She'd be graduating in no time. Then that would truly be the last between her and Reiko. They were never friends. She never had any friends to begin with.
She was alone.
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Sayuri continued staring at the daffodils painted on her bedroom ceiling, as she had been doing all day, swept up in a sea of memories and emotion. Everything seemed distant to her now. Everything was just abstract—something she couldn't hold on to for long, and would eventually drift away.
"Masanobu-sama…" she uttered.
She thought she would never be able to love again… not after Seiichi… but she had been smitten by him—by Asaka—probably since the day they first met. She had truly wanted to be the man's bride. She wanted happiness, and yet all she seems to be getting is misery.
Earlier that morning, her parents were informed of Shiori's decision in canceling the arranged marriage. They had sighed, shook their heads, and clicked their tongues. "What a shame," her father had said. "It would've been a chance to join our two families together." "Indeed it was," her mother agreed. Hisane and Shiori had been friends for so long. And when Hisane died, Shiori did her best to help their family out. But it was Sayuri's parents' stubbornness and pride that prevented them from completely accepting help. However, the Asaka family did help them expand their business, which is why they were able to progress quickly. In a way, they owed the Asaka family quite a lot.
Sayuri had been sitting by the stairs listening to her parents converse in the living room earlier. "Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles," her father had added. "There are other good families out there with good boys for our Sayuri. Let's just take our time looking for the right one. After all, this is for the security of our daughter's future."
Sayuri clenched her fists. That was all the arranged marriage meant to her parents. A contract… nothing more… They didn't care that she actually loved Masanobu, or that she was devastated by its cancellation. They were just concerned in having a stable life. Sayuri took in a deep breath of air and lifted herself up from the bed.
No more… that's what she had decided on. She didn't want to be played, betrayed and trampled on ever again. She was tired… and hurt enough. She didn't want anymore of it… She wished her grandmother, Hisane, was with her.
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Sousuke had lived all his years in the Hongo household, originally being a gardener for Sayuri's grandmother, and now as a butler. He had seen the family go through many changes, and the way they had grown distant. He pitied his "ojousama" for no longer having the simple joys of life like she used to have.
He approached Sayuri's door and gently rapped on the wood. "Ojousama," he called. "It's almost supper time. Please come out." When he didn't get a response, he knocked again, louder this time. Still no response… He pressed his ear against door and listened for movement or sound of any kind. There was nothing—only silence. Worry and concern swept his features. Without a moment's hesitation, he bolted the door open, and discovered the room to be empty. The window was left open and the curtains were swaying with the wind.
Sayuri was gone.
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The cold air blew against his face and it made him shiver. Wataru stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and he looked ahead of him. He was almost there. Just a few more steps and he'll be there. He broke off into a sprint again until the familiar curb of Highway 54 came into view—the place where he had left his ring.
He stopped and went into a slow walk. He looked around the vicinity, trying to remember at which spot he had left his ring. Surely it would still be there. It's not like anyone would come out of their cars to pick up something shiny… or maybe they would… But that was just a possibility. It would be another possibility that a car had run over it either breaking it into a million pieces or knocking it off the road and into the low cliff-side that lay beneath. He had to find that ring… he just had to… even if it means searching all night!
But just in case he did end up searching all night… he had called Kawamura and told him he'll finally be going home tonight. It wasn't really a lie, since Wataru had every intention of patching things up with his parents. As soon as he finds his ring, he's going home to set things right.
As he continued in his search, he thought he saw something… dancing in the wind. Something white… fluttering… was it a piece of cloth? Wataru thought his eyes were playing tricks on himself, but when his eyes came into focus, he saw that it was a person. A person walking… and climbing over the ledge!
Without any further thoughts, Wataru broke into a sprint while shouting, "STOOOOOOP! DON'T JUMP!" The person heard his voice and instantly stopped, turning around to see who had called out. When Wataru finally got a close enough; his eyes widened in surprise at the person about to jump.
"Sayuri?"
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Sayuri paused and looked back at Wataru with an equally surprised expression. What was Fujii Wataru doing here? "Fujii-kun…" she uttered lowly, unable to find her voice properly. Wataru scrutinized her and noticed that she was barefoot and wearing nothing but a long-sleeved night gown that reached up to her knees. The fabric swayed along with the breeze, and her long hair was sprayed all over her face. She looked like a mess.
"Sayuri-san…" he panted, trying to catch his breath. "What're you doing? And you're dressed like that… It's winter! It's freezing cold! Come on…" He stretched out his hand to help the young lady down, but Sayuri tore away from his grasp.
"Stop! Don't come near me! Don't even touch me!" she screamed. That got Wataru's attention and he effectively stopped in his tracks. "I… I'm worthless! Everything I touch… everything that approaches me gets destroyed! I'm not worth anything!"
Wataru had no idea where that kind of thinking came from, but it was definitely a new side to Sayuri he had never seen before, nor had he expected to see. "Sayuri-san, what do you…"
"Don't you see, Fujii-kun?" she exasperated. "I'm tired already. I'm tired of trusting, only to be betrayed. I'm tired of loving only to be rejected. I'm tired already…" Tears began forming at the rim of her eyes, and slowly rolled down the side of her cheek. "I want to go back…" she uttered so softly that Wataru had to strain his ears just to pick it up. "I want to back to those days… Anna and me… running around the rain, not caring if we catch a cold and can't go to school the next day…"
"……"
"Otousan and okaasan coming home for a hotpot dinner… the adults drinking sake… Obaasan hugging me… I want to go back to those days…"
Her sobs filled the night air, and Wataru found the sight rather hearth-wrenching. Sayuri definitely looked miserable now—broken and shattered beyond repair. What had brought this about? It couldn't have been something concerning the arranged marriage for Asaka. No, this looked far more extreme. But something definitely triggered it. What could've caused such a proud girl like Sayuri to suddenly break?
"Sayuri-san…"
"I actually envy you, Fujii-kun," she sobbed. "You have a friend who sticks by you no matter what, a sister who supports your decision, and someone who loves you truly with no blemish. You have all that while I… I'm horrible!"
"Sayuri-san…!" Wataru cut in. "I… I really don't know what's going on or what your predicament is, but I do know that you shouldn't belittle yourself like that! You're a good person! I know, because I've seen it!" He remembered that little 'date' of theirs… at that time… he had caught a slight glimpse of her gentleness and kind nature. It was extraordinary, but at the same time enchanting. "Sayuri-san, believe me when I say that you've got enough wits and strength to match my sister who I absolutely can never win against."
Sayuru chuckled at the boy's attempt at humor. But her frown returned, along with it, fresh tears. "That isn't me, Fujii-kun. I can never be 'me', because that 'me' died a long time ago. So I should die as well. No one cares for me anyway. No one is able to love me—even my parents just see me as another contract. There is no one… who would be sad if I disappear…"
She backed up a bit, leaning further over the ledge. Wataru truly didn't know what the hell was going on with the girl, but he could tell she was dead serious about jumping. With a deep breath, he closed eyes and thought up the right words to say. What could he say that would calm the young girl down? Would his words even reach her? He searched deep within himself. If he couldn't even help this girl, what more could he do to rectify the situation between him and Kazuki? And with his parents as well…? What more could he do to understand his own heart if he couldn't even understand the heart of this young girl? With resolve laced on his face, he opened his eyes—its black color sparkling, rivaling the gently enveloping night-sky.
"I would," he answered, stopping Sayuri. "I would be sad if you disappeared."
"…You're just saying that…"
"No, I really mean it," he said, his voice laced with sincerity. "I'll be sad because I already have something in mind—the perfect Christmas present—to give you."
"…Christ…mas… present…?"
"Yes. I want to give it to you… then I want to see your reaction when you receive it. If you're gone, how will I get to see it?"
"……"
"You said that I haven't seen the real 'you' yet? Well then, stick around a bit longer so that I can see it."
"Fujii-kun…"
"I… don't know what the problem is, Sayuri-san… but… you're not alone. You're not un-loved. And you are certainly not a mere contract."
Sayuri stared with awe at Wataru, feeling her heart pound again. She rubbed away the tears from her eyes with her sleeve. As she clearly looked at the young boy, she could see a warm and gentle smile, and glistening black eyes. She bit her lip and remembered her friends from Elementary… how they had left her… "Come from different worlds," they said… then she remembered Reiko… deceit disguised in friendship… Seiichi whom she had liked… hurt her by believing a lie instead of seeking out the truth… Everyone else who hurt her… people she didn't even know staring at her strangely…
Despite all that… is it okay to still trust? Is it all right to entrust herself to just one more person? Is it really okay…?
A strong gut feeling inside was telling her 'yes'. Don't be afraid. It's all right, he won't hurt you. Even if he does, it's okay. Don't worry…
Sayuri trembled whether from the cold or from fear. She was expecting to see something—a hint of a lie—present in those black eyes. If there was, even just a tiny bit, she'd lose all hope and resign her fate to the bottom of the cliff. But she couldn't find any—not a single lie or deception. She had never seen more truthful eyes than she did now. Eyes that she couldn't say 'no' to…
"Sayuri-san…" Wataru stretched out his hand. "Let me help you…"
Sayuri closed her eyes and felt one last tear-drop roll down her cheek. She was thinking of it as a dream—a figment of her imagination. When she opens her eyes again, Wataru wouldn't be there. He'd have just left her like everyone else did. And she was truly all alone. She slowly opened her eyes and still… the sight of that outstretched hand was still there… It wasn't a dream or a mere hallucination. It was real. Fujii Wataru was there. And so was she…
She slowly reached out her hand to take Wataru's, but as she did, a strong gust of wind suddenly blew against them, pricking her skin with the cold. Her bare feet felt numb, and the next thing she knew, she had slipped on something, causing her to lose her balance. She fell backwards, her entire body falling over the ledge—her hand still outstretched to Wataru's.
In a single moment, she thought everything would be over. No one would come save her. No one would be crazy enough to…
"SAYURI!"
Her thoughts were broken by the loud scream of her name. The next thing she saw was Wataru jumping in after her, his hand stretching outward to grab hers. "Fujii-kun…" she breathed, unable to find her voice to scream. In the next moment, she felt his hand grab her wrist, and she was pulled mid-air into his arms.
The only thing she remembered after that was the warmth of his hot embrace, as they both plummeted downwards into the deep darkness.
To be continued…
You didn't think I'd make it that easy to tie things up, did you?
Sorry if I had given Sayuri a particularly large role in this chapter. I just wasn't content with her being a random character that popped up every now and then without getting a resolution. After all, the whole plot had something to do with her, so it's fitting she gets a chance at the spotlight.
I admit… I was listening to Crash and Burn by Savage Garden when I was writing this. Really nice song…
Oh! Oh! What is Sayuri and Wataru's fate? What about the ring? Will it ever be found? And what the hell is Kazuki doing at this time?
Next chapter: Crisis! Mizuho finally takes action! What will Kazuki's decision be…? The mystery behind "the ring swap" revealed…? Shohei's turn is coming…!
Please review! Next update will probably be next week! I'm gonna get busy with work again…
