disclaimer: not mine, don't sue


"Dana," he calls as she walks out the door. She winces at her first name. She does that every time, even though it had been two years. Two years since she had been reassigned to Salt Lake City. Two years since she uprooted her life. Two years since she had seen or spoken to Mulder. She had heard about him being on a case once in the area, but he didn't stop by to see her. And she believed, that if he truly wanted to see her, he would have gone out of his way to. So she didn't go looking for him.

"Yeah?" she asks, standing in the doorway of their office. Well, it had been her's longer than his. Her partner, Mark Sloveny, was the fourth partner for her to go through in the two years she had been in Salt Lake. All of the other ones had sexual harassment charges filed against them within three months. Dana Scully didn't mess around. She was used to a respectful partnership. She was used to him, even if he wasn't being that respectful. Anything that went further than the innuendo they had once shared and she requested a new partner. And yet, she found herself missing it.

Mark was okay, she guessed. As a partner, only. He was a bit on the egotistical side. Actually more on the glory-hound side, she believed. She didn't have a relationship with him like she had had with Mulder. They weren't friends. They didn't do things outside of the office. She preferred it that way. She didn't want the type of relationship she had had with Mulder with him. She didn't think she ever would again.

"Are we going to the FBI teamwork seminar in Chicago this year? I know it's kinda far, but I'd really like to go. Gives us a chance to get out. Plus, there's a ball. You could dress up," he tried to win her over, getting up and placing his hand on her shoulder. Any lower and she would have done to him exactly what she would have done to those other partners. He was already too close as it was. Her mind did a subtle scoff at the fact that he had tried to convince her to go by telling her that there was a ball and she could dress up. Mulder would have never slumped to such a comment. He knew her too well. He knew that Dana Scully would pick jeans over a dress any day. She then reminded herself that she wasn't being fair to Mark. She called him Mark for a different reason than he called her Dana. She called him Mark because his last name was a mouthful (Sloveny? How could she possibly say that every day?). It wasn't fair of her to compare him to Mulder. He wasn't Mulder. He would never be Mulder (ever).

He

Was

Mark.

And she just had to accept that.

"Umm, I don't really know if I want to this year…" she tried, thinking of a good reason to stay. She couldn't think of one. She couldn't make up one.

"Come on, Dana. It'll be good for us."

A shiver ran down her spine.

Dana.

Us.

Her mind sought the fastest possible answer. No matter what it did to her later, she needed to get out of that situation that second. So she said:

"Alright."

Even though she kicked herself as soon as she did.

Even though there would be a ball and she could dress up.

Even though it meant going with Mark Sloveny.

Even though teamwork seminars brought back memories that she had tried to suppress.


He had never been so annoyed with a woman in his entire life.

Her name was Lucy and she had a lot to live up to.

Sometimes he wished she would die.

Sometimes he wished she would kill him.

All the time he wished for Scully back.

Mulder had tried, was trying, to get on without her, just like she thought he could. Maybe she didn't really think that. She would be an idiot if she did. She knew how important she was to him.

This is not about you.

The thoughts never did leave his mind entirely.

"So, Fox, I was thinking that we could get to Chicago a day early so that we could do some exploring. Oh there's so much I want to see there! Navy Pier and Millennium Park. Oh, and of course, Michigan Avenue! That's the hottest spot to shop in Chicago, you know," she says in her way-too-squeaky junior high voice. Two years, and she still called him Fox. Why, he doesn't know. He had never told her to.

Special Agent Lucy Erris was right out the Academy when she was assigned to the X-files. They weren't really the X-files anymore, though. They did whatever random assignments got into them, usually Bureau dirty work that nobody else wanted to do. When X-files were brought to him, he worked on them in his spare time. Alone. Without her.

He had done it before.

He didn't want to do it again.

"Lucy, it's Mulder," he reminded her, used to her superficial ranting. He didn't know exactly how she had managed to convince him to go to the teamwork seminar in Chicago this year. He had tried that once with her. It hadn't even worked out then. When he thought back on it (he always had to think back, because his days at work had become so boring and unimportant that he often went through them in a fog), he believed Skinner had gotten involved. Ordered him to go. Skinner had not been very involved lately.

Nothing to really be involved with.

At least the teamwork seminar was something to do. There was going to be a ball and everything, though he wasn't sure he wanted to go. He didn't want to go at all.

He did not want to get stuck in the woods with Lucy Erris.

Maybe he could ditch her when he got there and pretend somebody else was his partner.

No.

There was only one person he wanted to be his partner.

"Oh come on, it makes you sound like an old man! You're not old, Fox," she giggled (giggled), jumping off the side of his desk where she had been sitting. Maybe she didn't know she did, but she acted like the playful little secretary. The one that under normal circumstances, any man would have fucked no problem. He didn't want to, though.

He didn't care about her.

"Please, just call me Mulder," he almost begged with her. He knew that once he got to that level, she would leave him alone for awhile. That's all he wanted. To be alone.

Well, that's not all he wanted.

"Fine, Mul-der," she said, emphasizing the "der" in a very childish way, "but are we going a day early or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever you want, okay?" he said rather harshly.

She shut up.

He thanked God.


"All set, Dana?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with."

"Do you want me to carry your bags?"

"No, I've got them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's just leave, okay?"

"Fine."

***

"Oh, Fox, look at that! Come on the Ferris wheel with me!"

"I don't like heights."

"I can't go on it by myself!"

"Why not?"

"Because you don't go on Ferris wheels by yourself. Come on!"

"Can we go back to the hotel? I need to iron my tux for tomorrow."

"We can go back to the hotel after we ride the Ferris wheel. We're at Navy Pier, Fox, live a little!"

"It's Mulder."

***

"Dana, are you ready for the ball?"

"I'm doing my makeup. How did you get the key to my room?"

"I had them give me an extra one at the desk."

"Oh."

"Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah. Just let me grab my badge."

"Girls always take so long to get ready."

***

"Ugh, Fox, I look so fat in this dress!"

"It's Mulder. You look fine."

"This looked so good at the store! I must have gained 10 lbs. since we left DC! It's all this Chicago-style food. I won't be able to eat for weeks!"

"We're late, Lucy, could you just hurry up?"

"We're not late, everyone else is just early. The party won't really start until we get there."

"Just get ready. I'd like to get there as soon as possible."

"Fox! I'm having the worst hair day ever!"

***

"When do you think they'll open the bar?"

"I don't know, Mark, but I would advise you not to get drunk."

"It's a party, Dana!"

"It's a ball."

"Hey, I worked for this. I'm going to have a good time."

"Just don't make a fool of yourself. And don't make a fool of me."

"It's not about you, Dana."

This isn't about you.

You are not the princess and he is not prince charming. This is not your ball. Get that out of your head. The dress doesn't mean anything. This is not a movie.

Because

Real

Life

Is

Not

Like

The

Movies.


This isn't about you.

Look what I would have done for you. I'm sorry I never did. I'm sorry she is the one on my arm and not you. I'm sorry I won't get to see you tonight. I'm sure you would have looked beautiful.

And then he sees it. A flash of red hair. A red he has not seen in two years. A red he loves.

At first he cannot believe his eyes. She is thinner now, he notices. Her laugh lines have disappeared. She is on the arm of some man that he has never seen before. It feels wrong. Like he is having an out-of-body experience.

"Excuse me," he says as he slithers out of Lucy's grasp.

***

She sees him out of the corner of her eye. It is not the first time she thinks she has seen him out of the corner of her eye in the past two years. This time is different, though. This time it is more real. This time he does not disappear when she turns her heard toward him.

And then they are there. Face-to-face. Speechless. Breathless, even. She is gorgeous in her blue gown. He is handsome in his tux.

She puts her hand to his face just to make sure he is not a ghost. Not a ghost. She doesn't believe in ghosts.

An apparition. A figment of her imagination.

But her hand touches his skin. It's not warm, like it used to be. Neither are his eyes. She is sure her's aren't. She has tried, in her way, to look different. He looks the same.

Like he was waiting for her.

There is nothing to be said as they drown in each others' eyes. She can't take the silence anymore, though. She tried to form a coherent thought, but all that reached her lips was:

"Mulder."