A/N: Okay, this chapter will be getting ahead with the plot. Sorry for not updating quite so fast. The All-City Band is performing this weekend and I only have two of the three songs down. Being the only female alto saxophonist there I feel as if I have a duty to do really good. Right after this I'm going to go back to practicing.


The mall was bustling with people. Mostly groups of teens with hair spiky from at least a bucket of gel and jeans that showed their butt crack when they bent down, girls whose lips dazzled and blinded anyone who looked at them from far too much lip gloss and boys wearing pants down to their knees. Of course, there was a fair amount of parents cooing over freckled, sloppy children while they sat on the lap of Santa Claus (the children sat on his lap, not the parents).

Ettie looked around the high-ceilinged mall and felt small, not an easy thing to do when you're standing at five feet and eight inches. "What are we doing here again, Yvonne?" she said.

"I don't know," Yvonne said. "My mom wanted me to get something for my brother for Christmas, but I am clueless. This is probably the second time I've been inside a mall in five years."

"Same here," Ettie said. "Well, actually, it's probably better I'm here. If I was home I'd probably explode."

Yvonne looked at her. "Why?"

"Two words: Artemis Fowl."

"Oh. Him. Bugging you again?"

They roamed into a greeting cards store and Ettie picked up a stuffed raindeer, twisting one of his antlers. "Bugging me? More like driving me insane."

Yvonne nodded understandingly, pulling Ettie out by her sleeve. A store clerk glared at them and fixed the raindeer's antler.

"Why don't you talk to him? You know how it always happens in movies...The two protagonists hate each other's guts then end up falling madly in love. Maybe you guys were destined to be with one another."

Ettie pulled out of Yvonne's grip. "What?" she said. "What? No. Ew. I refuse to even picture that. Look, my parents make me call his parents 'aunt' and 'uncle.' You know what that would make us?"

"Well, they aren't really your aunt and uncle."

"Cousins!" Ettie said. "That makes us cousins, Yvonne! That would be incest."

Yvonne rolled her eyes, motioning for Ettie to follow her to the food court. "You aren't really related. Besides, that's not the point. I'm trying to say that you have to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. He's, what, eighteen? Nineteen? He should be mature enough to handle it."

"He looks fourteen."

"It doesn't matter how he looks," Yvonne said. "Come one. Let's get a corn dog."

Ettie reluctantly got in line with Yvonne. "No. He is not mature enough to handle it. He may be Einstein reincarnated, but he has the maturity of his brothers. They're three years old."

"Just talk to him."

"No! What have I been trying to tell you, you dork?" Ettie said. "He won't understand a word I say."

Yvonne frowned, but persisted. "You're just being immature."

"Me? Immature?" Ettie said. "I don't think I'm the one being immature. It's that stuck up rich kid living in my house. God! Get that into your thick head! I was trying to be calm before but he's just so...so..." Ettie didn't finish her sentence. She just let out an exasperated cry and stormed out of the line.

"Fine!" Yvonne called after her. "Just leave! You are the one being immature. Look at yourself!"

"Leave me alone, idiot," Ettie said.

Yvonne ground her teeth, feeling the eyes of a dozen other people in the line. Ettie would stay in this tantrum for at least a week, Yvonne knew that much.


"What does the tracker tell us?"

"It's saying they're really close by," Holly said. "254 Geary St. to be exact. It's an old movie theater, but it only closed down recently. About eight years ago. It's all boarded up."

"Why would they be there?" Chase said.

"Well, no one goes there. It's in the Richmond District, which is pretty quiet. All old Asian and white people. They spend their days watching the news and playing solitaire on the computer."

Chase stood up. "Well, then," he said. "Let's go get them."

Holly pulled him back down. "Hold your horses, macho-man," she said. "We can't just barge in there."

"Why not?"

"They could have weapons, and if since our guns don't work because of this thing going on with Foaly's equipment, they could kill us."

Chase sighed. "Maybe we should find out what's going on with the computers first."

"Good. I kind of have a hunch. And we won't have to go far either."


Artemis leaned on the railing of the deck. The fairy communicator was nestled safe in his pocket and he checked in every five minutes, just in case he didn't feel the vibrating when Holly called him again. She had sounded strange during their last conversation. He knew she had been hiding something from him. Holly didn't like to lie and one didn't have to be a genius to know when she was. That made it so much easier for Artemis.

He would also look over his shoulder occasionally. He was convinced Ettie was hiding somewhere, just waiting for more evidence of his "girlfriend". He sighed. Teenage girls and their childish obsessions. He'd never understand females.

"Waiting for your girlfriend to call?"

Yep, there she was.

Artemis turned and glared at her. "I don't have a girlfriend. I don't need a girlfriend. And besides, even if I did, it would be none of your business."

Ettie giggled. "Suuure."

Artemis turned around angrily. He blinked and looked around. Was that a shimmer in the air? "Will you just go away?" Artemis said to Ettie. "Please?"

Ettie raised her eyebrows at him, then smiled. "Okay," she said. "I don't need to hear your mushy conversations with your girlfriend. I can think of some other kind of blackmail." She hopped over the side of the deck to the window to her room.

Artemis waited until he was quite sure she had gone to say, "You can unshield now, Holly. I know you're there."

The familiar figure appeared in the air, her wings only a blur behind her. "Artemis," she said. "Nothing can hide from you."

"What are you doing here?" Artemis said.

"What? No 'hello'? And I thought we were friends."

"I'm not sure it's very friendly to spy on someone."

Holly grinned. "Touché," she said. "Okay, here's the truth. Bobb, a fugitive dwarf, and Unix, a sprite who never really escaped but was released about ten years ago, have something to do with Foaly's computers and equipment suddenly...well, not working. Not including these wings. These are Koboi Double-Dex."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "So you need me."

"What?" Holly frowned and looked offended. "No! Why would we need you, of all people? No, actually, I haven't heard from you in quite a while and I just know you're up to something."

"It's quite impossible for one to be 'up to something' when one's father's cousin's wife's second cousin's daughter is being obnoxious every which way one turns."

Holly shrugged. "Whatever." She turned then: "Hey, Artemis? I know this is a stupid question, but have you seen any acorns around? I dropped mine and I'll be needing it. It's really hard to get the right one around here because there's no hundred-year-old oak trees by a bend in a river. I dropped it around here, but since you never go outside, you probably haven't seen it, but I thought..."

"No. Are you running out of magic?"

Holly's head snapped around. "What was that?" she said. "I heard something."

Artemis looked over the side of the deck. Ettie was in the process of sliding through the window. She froze, one of her legs already inside.

"See what I mean?" Artemis said to Holly.

Artemis took one of Ettie's arms and pulled her up. "What did you hear?"

Ettie's eyes darted around. "Well...that's a pretty broad question. Do you want me to lie and say I didn't hear much or tell the truth and say I heard everything?"

"D'arvit, Holly," Artemis said. "Shouldn't you know when a human is listening?"

"Human?" Ettie said to Artemis. "Does that mean I was right about you being from Uranus?" She winced as Artemis' grip forced her to quiet down.

"I told you Artemis," Holly said. "Foaly's equipment is useless right now. Even he is baffled."

"Just mesmerize her already."

Holly stared at Ettie. "You will—"

"I'm not doing anything," Lauryn said. "Tell me what's going on. Or...Or I'll throw this away." She brought an acorn out of her pocket.

"Why do you think I want that?" Holly said.

"Because this very acorn fell from the sky and hit me on the head the other day. Right outside the park."

Holly glared at her. "Now I know what you mean, Artemis." And to Ettie: "Give me—"

Ettie covered her ears with her hands and shut her eyes tight. "I'm not listening!" she said loudly. "I'm not listening, I'm not listening. La la la la!"

"For Frond's sake, girl, do you ever shut up?" Holly said.

Ettie put her hands on her hips and thrust out her bottom lip defiantly. "Tell me what's going on."


A/N: Thanks for reading! You know the drill: If you liked it, review to tell me what you liked. If not...review anyway to tell me what I could fix to make my writing better. That would make everybody happy! (And I'll update soon to make the rest of you happy).

-Demented Cookies