My Series
Bad Timing
Scene: Gothic Greg's Salad Emporium 1 year later.
Loraine: Merton, can you believe it's our 1 year anniversary?
Merton: No, It seems like just yesterday I found your blog.
Loraine: I know.
(The two are eating when random music with a catchy tune starts playing.)
(Staff of the restaurant comes out of the kitchen holding a huge bowl of fruit salad singing.)
Happy Anniversary from all of us to you. Your very best friend Tommy Dawkins did this for you…uh both.
Tommy: Surprise!
Loraine: Oh Tommy thank you, that is so sweet.
Merton: (tearing up) Oh man that's so nice. (embraces Tommy)
Tommy: No problem, you know I would do anything for you guys. Plus it's your special day.
Merton: That it is.
(Merton gets down on one ring and pulls out a ring box.)
Loraine: Oh….My…God.
Merton: Loraine will you marry me?
(Loraine bites her lower lip, blushes and nods her head.)
(They hug and Merton picks her up and carries her out of the restaurant.)
Scene: Merton's Apartment
(Merton is laying on his bed talking to himself.)
Merton: You know what; I'm going to ask Loraine to move in with me.
(Merton picks up the phone and the screen splits so you see Merton and Loraine at the same time.)
Loraine: Hello?
Merton: Hey baby.
Loraine: Oh hey.
Merton: You know I 've been thinking, do you think we should move in together.
Loraine: Yes, absolutely.
Merton: When do you want to.. (Loraine cuts him off.)
Loraine: Now!
Merton: But it's almost midnight.
Loraine: Oh well, how about tomorrow?
Merton: See you then.
Loraine: Bye.
Scene: Loraine is moving into Merton's apartment.
Loraine: This is so exciting.
Merton: I know.
Loraine: We're getting married, we're living together, and I'm having a baby.
Merton: Yeah…wait, what?
Loraine: Isn't it great. I'm having a baby!
(Merton faints.)
Loraine: Oh my.
(Splashes water on Merton's face.)
Merton: (Spits then coughs.) Did you just say what I think you just said?
Loraine: Uh huh, you're going to be a daddy.
Merton: Wow.
(They both are in the elevator leading to Merton's apartment.)
(Elevator door closes and the screen fades to black.)
Scene: Next Morning at Merton and Loraine's apartment.
(Merton bounds down the stairs to see Loraine is making him breakfast.)
Merton: Morning sweetheart.
Loraine: Good morning sleepy head. I made you some breakfast.
Merton: Great, I am starved.
(Loraine sets a plate of pancakes, sausage, and hash browns in front of Merton.)
Merton: (Rubs his hands together and licks his lips.) Looks delicious.
(Loraine sits across from Merton and starts to eat as well.)
Loraine: So I was thinking, let's go out to eat tonight.
Merton: I am all for it. Where would you like to go?
Loraine: How about tacos? Or a burger? Or pizza?
Merton: Ok but which one?
Loraine: Watermelon.
Merton: What?
Loraine: (screaming) I want watermelon okay?
Merton: Fine miss moody.
Loraine: Moody? I am most certainly not moody!
Merton: of course not honey.
Scene: Merton's office
(Psychiatrist Merton walks into his office.)
Merton: Marsha, any messages?
Marsha: No sir.
Merton: Donna, emails?
Donna: No Dr. Dingle.
Merton: Trixie, any uh….wait what do you do?
Trixie: I am your personal assistant.
Merton: Right. Ok then.
Trixie: By the way sir, your twelve o'clock appointment with Satan has been rescheduled. And it has been replaced by an appointment with a Mr. Annihilator.
Merton: Wonderful. (Rolls his eyes.)
Scene: Annihilator's appointment
Annihilator: I cannot believe my wife left me for Death!
Merton: I see, and how does this make you feel?
(Annihilator sobs and murmurs.)
Annihilator: My wife, and Death. I am so alone.
Merton: Well look at it this way, you now have a bachelor pad.
Annihilator: (Wipes his face and looks up.) Yeah. I guess you're right. Thank you.
Merton: No problem. (talking under his breath.)Man I need a drink.
