My Series

Bad Timing

Scene: Gothic Greg's Salad Emporium 1 year later.

Loraine: Merton, can you believe it's our 1 year anniversary?

Merton: No, It seems like just yesterday I found your blog.

Loraine: I know.

(The two are eating when random music with a catchy tune starts playing.)

(Staff of the restaurant comes out of the kitchen holding a huge bowl of fruit salad singing.)

Happy Anniversary from all of us to you. Your very best friend Tommy Dawkins did this for you…uh both.

Tommy: Surprise!

Loraine: Oh Tommy thank you, that is so sweet.

Merton: (tearing up) Oh man that's so nice. (embraces Tommy)

Tommy: No problem, you know I would do anything for you guys. Plus it's your special day.

Merton: That it is.

(Merton gets down on one ring and pulls out a ring box.)

Loraine: Oh….My…God.

Merton: Loraine will you marry me?

(Loraine bites her lower lip, blushes and nods her head.)

(They hug and Merton picks her up and carries her out of the restaurant.)

Scene: Merton's Apartment

(Merton is laying on his bed talking to himself.)

Merton: You know what; I'm going to ask Loraine to move in with me.

(Merton picks up the phone and the screen splits so you see Merton and Loraine at the same time.)

Loraine: Hello?

Merton: Hey baby.

Loraine: Oh hey.

Merton: You know I 've been thinking, do you think we should move in together.

Loraine: Yes, absolutely.

Merton: When do you want to.. (Loraine cuts him off.)

Loraine: Now!

Merton: But it's almost midnight.

Loraine: Oh well, how about tomorrow?

Merton: See you then.

Loraine: Bye.

Scene: Loraine is moving into Merton's apartment.

Loraine: This is so exciting.

Merton: I know.

Loraine: We're getting married, we're living together, and I'm having a baby.

Merton: Yeah…wait, what?

Loraine: Isn't it great. I'm having a baby!

(Merton faints.)

Loraine: Oh my.

(Splashes water on Merton's face.)

Merton: (Spits then coughs.) Did you just say what I think you just said?

Loraine: Uh huh, you're going to be a daddy.

Merton: Wow.

(They both are in the elevator leading to Merton's apartment.)

(Elevator door closes and the screen fades to black.)

Scene: Next Morning at Merton and Loraine's apartment.

(Merton bounds down the stairs to see Loraine is making him breakfast.)

Merton: Morning sweetheart.

Loraine: Good morning sleepy head. I made you some breakfast.

Merton: Great, I am starved.

(Loraine sets a plate of pancakes, sausage, and hash browns in front of Merton.)

Merton: (Rubs his hands together and licks his lips.) Looks delicious.

(Loraine sits across from Merton and starts to eat as well.)

Loraine: So I was thinking, let's go out to eat tonight.

Merton: I am all for it. Where would you like to go?

Loraine: How about tacos? Or a burger? Or pizza?

Merton: Ok but which one?

Loraine: Watermelon.

Merton: What?

Loraine: (screaming) I want watermelon okay?

Merton: Fine miss moody.

Loraine: Moody? I am most certainly not moody!

Merton: of course not honey.

Scene: Merton's office

(Psychiatrist Merton walks into his office.)

Merton: Marsha, any messages?

Marsha: No sir.

Merton: Donna, emails?

Donna: No Dr. Dingle.

Merton: Trixie, any uh….wait what do you do?

Trixie: I am your personal assistant.

Merton: Right. Ok then.

Trixie: By the way sir, your twelve o'clock appointment with Satan has been rescheduled. And it has been replaced by an appointment with a Mr. Annihilator.

Merton: Wonderful. (Rolls his eyes.)

Scene: Annihilator's appointment

Annihilator: I cannot believe my wife left me for Death!

Merton: I see, and how does this make you feel?

(Annihilator sobs and murmurs.)

Annihilator: My wife, and Death. I am so alone.

Merton: Well look at it this way, you now have a bachelor pad.

Annihilator: (Wipes his face and looks up.) Yeah. I guess you're right. Thank you.

Merton: No problem. (talking under his breath.)Man I need a drink.