They stopped by Will's quarters so that he could shower and change before heading to Ten Forward. In Ten Forward, they found a quiet table in the corner. Will ordered a simple baked chicken meal, while Deanna got a salad. The food was there within minutes and they ate in silence. When they had finished, Will felt Deanna's eyes on him. He looked up at her, seeing concern in her eyes. "Will," she began, "what happened down there?" He paused for a moment, wondering if Deanna knew this bit of Tasha's history. He decided to tell her, hoping Tasha would understand. "Deanna, I'm not sure if Tasha would want me telling you this story or not, but I believe you need to know. For her sake." "It's not something already in her files?" Deanna asked. "No," said Will. "I don't know how she kept it out of her files, but she did." He tapped his fingers lightly on the table. "While we were on Sila, Slvark introduced us to a young raksi, a girl that had been captured by the rebels and raped repeatedly. She had a child as a result. The night after we met her, Tasha woke up in the middle of the night and went out to the garden. I happened to wake up and see her go out, so I followed, wondering what had woken her. I found her in the garden, sobbing. I went to her, held her as she cried. She told me she had a nightmare. A memory of her life in that hell hole of a colony." He paused, and Deanna sensed how much this bothered him. She reached across the table, placing her hand over his. "Dee, when Tasha was 13, a rape gang caught her. They raped her, five times, and left her. A couple months after, she figured out she was pregnant." Deanna gave a soft gasp. "She delivered the child, a healthy baby boy. A year later, another rape gang caught her. They took her boy. As one of them raped her, another one dropped her baby down a mineshaft, killing him." He looked up at Deanna. Tears shimmered in her eyes. "She never told me… Oh Will, that is horrible." "She had the nightmare again last night. She woke up screaming that time." He paused again, taking a deep breath. "How does she do it, Dee? How does she live with those horrible memories?" "She's a very strong woman Will. She also tends to just lock everything away, figuring if she doesn't think about it, it won't bother her. Of course that theory doesn't work, and I've been fighting with her over that for a while now. This adds a whole new depth to her pain however." She sighed softly.
Hours later, Will was back in sickbay, at Tasha's bedside. Deanna had to go take care of appointments, so he was there alone. He was holding Tasha's hand and watching her when she whimpered softly. "Tasha?" She whimpered louder, her body twisting on the bed. Will paged Dr Crusher. He gently shook Tasha's shoulder. "Tasha, wake up." She thrashed about on the bed, her body tense. "No… please, no!" she pleaded with her dream tormentor. Beverly rushed into the room. She placed a hypo to Tasha's neck and pressed the button. Tasha calmed and opened her eyes. Deanna ran into the room, having sensed Tasha's pain. "Will…" whispered Tasha as tears filled her eyes. "Shh, you're ok. You're in sickbay, everything's ok." He squeezed her hand. "What happened?" she asked. "What's the last thing you remember?" asked Beverly. "Slvark… the raksi, the rebels attacked us." Beverly nodded. "You were shot, five times with bullets, twice with phasers. You're lucky to be here." Beverly smiled at the young woman. Tasha groaned. "Do I even want to know how long I have to stay in sickbay?" Beverly chuckled. "A few days. But you have physical therapy after that." "Therapy? Why?" "Your knee was pretty damaged, you'll need the therapy to regain full use of your muscles and ligaments." "But I'm okay, right? I'll be able to return to my duties?" "After your therapy, yes. Tasha, you can't rush this. You need to let your body heal." Tasha sighed but nodded too. "Gotcha Doc!" Beverly rolled her eyes. "Now, I have other patients to attend to. You three behave!"
Tasha looked at her two friends. She turned to Will. "Did you tell Deanna?" Will nodded. "I'm sorry Tasha, but I had to." "It's ok," said Tasha. "She needed to know." "Tasha," said Deanna, "why wasn't that on your record?" "Would you want it to be on yours?" Tasha asked. Deanna thought for a moment, and then shook her head. "No, but it should be Tasha. This is nothing minor." Tasha stared at her for a second. "You're going to have to put this on my record now, aren't you?" Deanna nodded. "I'm sorry, but yes. But. I will put the highest classified rating on it that I can. Only the counselor, Captain and First Officer will have access to that information." Tasha nodded. "I have to get going," said Deanna. "I sort of ran out on Ensign Lisean, I'm sure she's still waiting for me to return. Tasha, we'll talk about this later." Tasha nodded again. "Thanks Deanna."
After Deanna left, Tasha turned her gaze to Will. "And thank you, Will, for being there." He gave her a sad smile. "If I had truly been there for you, you wouldn't be laying in sickbay right now, recovering." "Oh no you don't," she said, struggling to sit up a little. Will adjusted the pillows behind her. "I know you Will, you always blame yourself for anything that goes wrong on an away mission. It's my responsibility to keep the team safe, not yours." "It was my away team Tasha, of course it's my responsibility!" His voice held a hint of anger and frustration. Tasha fixed him with a cool gaze. After a moment, he laughed. "You're right, but you tend to blame yourself too!" She grinned at him. After a moment, her face went serious again. "Will, what happened on the planet? I know Slvark is dead." "I'm not sure, I need to call the Captain." "No need for that Commander," said Captain Picard, as he entered the room. Picard went to Tasha's bedside, opposite Will. He smiled down at her. "How are you feeling Tasha?" "A little sore, but otherwise ok sir." "Good, good. I can't have my security chief out of action for too long!" Tasha smiled at her Captain.
Picard looked at his officers and shifted into work mode. "You both know Slvark is dead. He was the council leader. A raksi by the name of Vstyr has taken his place. He seems to hold the same values and thoughts that Slvark had, which should make this easy. I have forwarded information regarding their application and current planetary status to Starfleet. I marked it as urgent, hopefully they will decide within the next twenty-four hours. Until then, I suggested to Vstyr that they keep the leaders safely tucked away from any possible rebel attacks, and he agreed. " He paused, plucking imaginary lint off his uniform sleeve. "If the application is approved, then we will be requested to assist in the fight against the rebels. I personally have no desire to involve members of this ship in another civilization's war, but we are obligated to if they are members of the Federation." "Is there any chance of peace between the rebels and the rest of the raksi?" asked Will. "Some," replied Picard. "The rebels are not asking for much. It seems the lower merchant class on Sila is not allowed representation in the council. This is the main point the rebels are fighting. They are all members of this lower merchant class, and they want their say in planetary issues, such as taxes and trade regulations. They have approached the council many times with requests, but have been turned away every time. Hence, the rebellion was born. If the council would just listen to them, this would not be an issue at all." "Isn't that the way of all rebellions?" said Tasha. Picard smiled at her. "Very true," he replied. "Well, I better get back to the bridge. Tasha, take care of yourself, I look forward to seeing you back at your post." He gently squeezed her arm. "Yes sir," she replied. Picard headed for the door. Will walked out with him.
"Captain, may I request…" Will began, but the Captain cut him off. "You may have a few days off duty Will, I will call you if I need you." Will suppressed a grin. "Thank you, sir." "And while you two are recovering, you can discuss this problem with the rebels and see if you can come up with a non-violent solution to the problem." "Aye sir, will do," said Will. Captain Picard regarded him for a moment and then headed off to the bridge. Will went back to Tasha's room.
Tasha was lying there with her eyes closed when Will walked in. Sensing him, she opened her eyes and looked at him. He pulled the chair over beside her bed. Sitting down, he noticed her stifle a yawn. "Tired?" he asked. "No," she said, but he could tell she was lying. "Why don't I leave and let you sleep for a few hours," he said, and started to rise. "No!" she exclaimed, reaching over and grabbing his arm. Her voice softened and tears filled her eyes. "Please Will, I don't want to sleep!" "Tasha," he said, softly. "You're going to have to sleep sometime." "No, I can't, I can't have that dream again," she said, her voice breaking as she cried. Will silently wiped the tears off her cheeks, wondering what he could do for her. "Are you hungry?" he asked. She shook her head, sniffling. Taking her hand in his, he used his other hand to turn her face upwards so her eyes met his. "Tasha, tell me what I can do to help." She looked at him a long moment before replying. "Hold me?" she said, quietly. Will's heart broke at the look in her eyes, the look of someone who hadn't had enough love in her life. He motioned for her to move over on the bed, and climbed in next to her. She curled up next to him, her head on his chest as he gently stroked her hair and ran his fingers over her back. She was asleep soon after.
Beverly poked her head into the room about half an hour after Tasha had fallen asleep. She smiled and quietly asked how Tasha was doing. "She didn't want to fall asleep." "Well, seems you've overcome that part. Call me if you two need anything." Will thanked her and she left. Soon after, he drifted off to sleep too, Tasha still held tight in his arms.
Tasha yawned as she watched the sun rise through the dirty, broken glass of the old building. Her back against the concrete wall, she stretched slightly and looked down at the bundle in her arms. Her two month old baby suckled at her breast. He seemed to sense her gaze and opened his bright blue eyes to look up at her. Content and full, he released her breast while continuing to gaze up at her, a tiny dribble of milk falling down his chin. She smiled at him, and reached down to wipe the milk away. He surprised her with his first smile. Tasha laughed softly with joy and gently kissed him on the forehead.
Wrapped in Will's arms, Tasha smiled briefly in her sleep.
"Tasha!" Tasha would have panicked if she hadn't recognized the voice that called to her in a sharp whisper from outside her hiding spot. Still, she gently placed her boy on his bedding and grabbed her knife before ducking out. "Ishara?" she said, staring at her younger sister standing before her. "What are you doing here? Did the coalition kick you out?" Her voice held a tinge of the pain she felt over Ishara leaving her for the coalition almost two years ago. It wasn't the girl's fault really – a man had given her some joy dust, and Ishara was instantly addicted. She left Tasha alone on the streets to be the man's plaything, getting all the joy dust that she wanted.
"Nooo, of course not," she said in a drawn out, sing song voice. Tasha knew she was high on dust. "I just thought I would come to visit my sister." Suspicious, Tasha glanced around. "How did you find me?" "It wasn't that tough, I spotted you in the market and shadowed you here." Ishara giggled and twirled around on her toes. Tasha sighed at her sister. "You were always good at that," said Tasha. Ishara beamed at her. "So, what do you want Ishara?" "You! Come to the coalition Tasha, please! I miss you, and it is so wonderful there." Ishara clasped her hands together and a dreamy look overcame her face. "Kyle is so nice to me, he gives me whatever I want." "Because all you want is joy dust", thought Tasha. She heard a soft cry from inside, and ducked back in to pick up her boy before he got louder. Ishara followed her, and gasped. "A baby? Where did you get it?" "It's mine," replied Tasha. "Thanks to some friends of yours in the coalition." Ishara blinked at her, still a bit too young to fully understand. "Well, I'm sure they'll help you take care of it. Kyle has everything you need! And you could help me play with him!" Disgusted, Tasha turned her back. "Go home Ishara, I'm not joining the coalition." "But Tasha…" Ishara pleaded, grabbing onto her sister's arm. Tasha turned on her, anger flashing in her eyes. "Ishara, I said no! You left me two years ago for joy dust and a man you didn't know. I'm not going to ruin my life that way!" Anger flashed in Ishara's eyes in return. "Fine, enjoy your wonderful life on the streets, stealing food and sneaking around! I have a home and a family, a family that loves me!" Ishara turned and stalked out.
Tasha bit back tears. Ishara would never know how tempted she was to go with her, but she had seen the horrors that joy dust caused and she wanted no part of it. But to have a family…
Tasha twitched in her sleep, a barely audible cry passing her lips. One tear slowly fell down her cheek, but she did not wake. Her fingers curled against Will's chest, and his arm tightened around her in response.
