this is a pathetic excuse for a chapter FOR ME, but i needed to stop at the end to for the next chapter to start... but i'll have you all know. TWO VERY IMPORTANT things happen in this chapter. but they are very discrete. hehe. anyways, you guys. WOW, you are all so fabulous. you're leaving big ass reviews and making my day.

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4. Without You

Three weeks later.

'Come on hales. Please open up.' Brooke was knocking on her bedroom door, but Haley wasn't opening.

'I'm sorry Brooke.' She whispered, and turned the TV up louder. The knocking stopped.

Then there was a loud crash. Brooke fell onto Haley's floor. She had climbed through the window.

'Brooke please. Leave me alone.' Haley tried to wipe the tears, but they wouldn't stop.

'Haley please. It's been a month now. You can't just stay here.'

'Yes I can Brooke! I really can! See these?' she pointed to her eyes. 'They have not stopped producing tears! I will fall asleep, and wake up with wet eyes. Tears won't stop falling Brooke! And look at this!' she threw Nathan's letter at her. 'He's not coming home! He says we aren't friends! He doesn't want to see me!' she wailed, wiping furiously at her cheeks.

Brooke came to her side and sat on her bed. 'Hales, what happened between you and Nathan at your party? I know something happened, that's why he didn't walk you down the aisle.' Brooke stroked Haley's hair.

'We kissed.' Haley whispered.

'You what? How could you do that to Lucas Haley? You were getting married, and you cheated on him!' Brooke calmed down and lowered her voice when she saw Haley flinch.

'He kissed me. And I kissed him back. But then I stopped it. You know how I used to feel about him Brooke. I just wanted to feel him want me, after he pulled away.'

'Haley that kiss was two years ago, you need to get over it.'

'I know Brooke I know. But then Nathan told me he was in love with me and that he wouldn't give me away. So he left.'

'I'm sorry hales.'

'Me too. I really need him Brooke. As my old friend. I don't know what to do without him!'

'It'll be ok Haley.' Brooke breathed, tears stinging her eyes.

'No it won't Brooke! It just won't be ok now! Nothing is good! My husband, fiancé, whatever, is dead! My best friend has left and doesn't want to see me! My parents won't even come home! What does that say about me as a person?'

'Haley, it's – '

'Just go Brooke, now please.' Haley cried, her voice cracking.

Haley heard Brooke leave the room. She picked up a notepad and started to write. She scribbled down all of her emotions and poured her heart out on the pen.

Haley cried and cried. She had just realised how terrible her life was. Three weeks ago she was describing it as perfect. How could this happen? Her life wasn't some stupid TV programme, this wasn't fair.

She stood up and walked out the room. She wandered outside.


Haley stood at Lucas' grave.

'Lucas Scott

Loving fiancé, brother, son and friend'

Then she read the quote, it was Lucas' favourite.

'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone'

The past was gone, but Haley wished it wasn't. She couldn't help but grieve, life wasn't fair. She picked a single tulip from the ground and laid it on Lucas' grave. Then she ran.


She liked running. It took out all of her anger without hurting herself. and it was healthy.

She ran and fast and hard as she could. She felt then rain start to soak through her clothes and onto her skin. She kept running.

She must have been outside tree hill, because Haley couldn't recognise where she was. She didn't stop running.

Suddenly a sharp pain stung through her chest and she fell to the ground, splashing rainwater over her as she fell into a puddle. She rain stung her skin.

3 years ago.

Haley fell to the ground panting. The rain hit her painfully on her bare arms. The tears didn't stop. After having a fight with her parents she had run away from her house.

'Haley?' Haley heard that familiar voice and stood up. Leaping into Nathan's arms, letting the tears fall.

'I really needed you Nathan.' She whispered.

'I'm here now hales.' He stroked her rain soaked hair. 'I always will be.'

Haley chocked as she remembered his last words. 'I always will be.' She hit the ground with her fist.

'No you won't!' she screamed, slamming her fist onto the sidewalk again. 'NO YOU WON'T!' she collapsed, lying flat out on the ground. 'WHERE ARE YOU NOW?' she sobbed.

Haley's whole body shook as she continued to cry and scream. She screamed for Lucas, she screamed for her parents. She screamed for Nathan.


so there's some haley dealing with the pain. i guess it seems like she is more upset about nathan not being there than lucas dying. i didn't want it to appear like that but i guess it does. haley is just thinking about nathan because he was always there to help her through the bad times, but now he is not.