here we go. another chapter. seriously, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for reviewing. i got some awesomely long reviews for the last chapter, even though it was super short. this one is a little longer though. :):) someone special is coming back!
5. 3 months, 4 days.
Haley sat at Brooke's breakfast bar, stirring her spoon around her cereal bowl, occasionally writing down some more words in her trusty notepad, which had been by her side since Lucas died.
'Haley, eat something, pleeease!' Brooke whined.
Haley leaned back against the chair and closed her eyes. It had been 3 months and 4 days since Lucas died. It was also 3 months and 2 days since she had heard from Nathan.
Brooke had persuaded Haley to get out of her house. She had been staying with Brooke for the past month. Haley didn't like causing trouble, but Brooke told her not to worry.
Haley had lost a lot of weight, and it was obvious. She wasn't eating properly and her clothes draped loosely over her.
Brooke sighed. She just didn't know how to help Haley. She had put up these huge stonewalls, no one could get through to her. Brooke didn't know when Nathan would come home from high flyers. She thought Nathan could get through to Haley, but she wasn't sure that Haley would let him, he had hurt her so bad. She decided to head to his house to check if he was home.
'Right Haley, I'm away out. and I swear, if you don't have fat hanging over the waistband of your jeans when I get back, I am force feeding you.' Brooke smiled and left the house.
Haley couldn't even strain a fake smile. She felt so lifeless and dead. She hadn't shed a tear since her experience in the rain. She preferred crying, at least it showed emotion. Now she just couldn't do anything. She tried so hard to cry, but she couldn't.
Nathan dropped his bag down and fell into his bed. He was exhausted. He rolled over and grabbed his cell. He scrolled down his contacts and landed on Haley's number.
Than it hit him.
I don't think you need me anymore. It is clear we aren't friends.
Goodbye Haley. I may see you when I get home.
Why had he said that? He wanted to see her so much.
'Your looking very in shape.' A voice lifted Nathan's hopes. Could it be Haley?
He turned round smiling. Then he saw it was Brooke. He slumped back onto his bed, smile fading.
'Nice to see you too.' She laughed. It was a fake laugh. It was hard to find anything funny anymore.
'I'm sorry Brooke. I thought you were…- '
'- I know exactly who you thought I was.'
'How is she?' Nathan sat up, playing with the hem of his shirt.
'How is she? She is devastated Nathan! Her fiancé died and her best friend couldn't be assed picking up his lazy butt and come home to see her!' Brooke yelled.
'I'm not her best friend anymore. I don't deserve it.'
'But she is still yours. I know it Nate. You still care about her. Now make a fucking effort and go and see her! I won't be in the house for a few hours. Make use of it.'
'I can't Brooke. She won't want to see me.'
'Well make her see you! No one can get through to her Nate. She didn't stop crying for three weeks after the accident. Then suddenly she stops. She hasn't smiled for three months! Nate please! Just try! For Haley.' Brooke turned and left.
Haley heard a knock on the door.
'Go away!' she called, her voice cracking. The knocking continued.
Haley stormed up to the door, muttering to herself.
'You would think you would understand what go away meant, but obviously…Nathan?' she drew in a large breath. Then she slammed the door and walked away, but Nathan stopped it with his hand.
'Haley I need to talk to you.'
'Well you had three months for that didn't you?' she spoke calmly.
'I know. But high flyers – '
Haley spun around. 'Oh yes of course, precious high flyers. Sorry I forgot basketball was more important than I dunno, your brother dying?' she yelled.
'Just let me in Haley.'
'No!' Haley screamed, walking forward. 'No Nathan! I can't let you in. you know why? Because I waited for you for two months! I waited and waited, but you never came. When I moved in with Brooke I got rid of you!'
'Let me talk Haley. Please.' Haley saw the desperation in his eyes. She closed the door behind her and stepped outside.
'Fine.' She said shortly. 'Go.'
'Haley…' Nathan stuttered, he obviously didn't know what to say. 'When I kissed you, I meant it. and I'm sorry I wasn't at the wedding. I just couldn't see you dedicate yourself to someone else, when all I wanted to do was be with you forever. I wanted to come home Haley, I really did. But I couldn't.'
'WHY!' Haley screamed. Her voice made Nathan flinch, but still no tears came.
'Because I still wantedyou! You would have been vulnerable, and wanting to be with someone. I didn't want you to do anything with me, it wouldn't have been fair to Lucas, or yourself. I know you needed me Haley. But I couldn't watch you fall apart without wanting to hold you and kiss the pain away.'
'Nathan I needed my friend! I needed you as my best friend. and it's your fault Lucas died.' Haley saw Nathan flinch, but she continued. 'If you had been at my wedding, you would have left with Lucas, you would have woken him up earlier, you would arrive together, and the car wouldn't have hit him!' Haley gasped for air. 'You did this to everyone! You killed your brother! You caused all of this pain!' Haley fell to the ground, dizzy from using so much air.
Nathan ran to her side, like he always did. 'Haley, are you ok?'
'Get away from me.' Haley spoke slowly, her voice dark and hoarse.
'Haley please.'
'I said, GET AWAY FROM ME!' Haley screamed with all her might and stood up, backing away from Nathan.
'Haley, please just let me in. I didn't mean for this to happen.'
'You know what Nathan?' she whispered. 'I don't care anymore. I don't care about you. Hell, you can go join your brother underground.'
'Haley…' Nathan cried. Haley saw the pain and tears in his eye. But she didn't care, she had been caused so much more pain over the last 3 months.
'Just STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!' she screamed once more.
She walked inside and slammed the door, gasping for air.
'It's over Brooke. She doesn't care anymore. She told me I could go and die, and she wouldn't care.' Nathan walked over to Brooke in the shopping mall. Brooke saw the desperation in his eyes.
'Oh Nate I'm sorry. I guess you didn't have it in you after all.' She turned and walked away.
'What is that supposed to mean?' Nathan questioned. Brooke stopped, but didn't turn around.
'It means, everyone thought you would be able to get through to her, but you didn't. so you didn't have it in you.'
'You are kidding me. Of course I have it in me. I'm going to make her let me in.' Brooke heard Nathan rush off. She smiled. She knew if she taunted him he would go back.
'HALEY!!' Nathan shouted, knocking at the door. 'Haley? Open up please!'
The door flew open. 'What do you want Nathan?' Haley snapped.
Nathan walked straight into the house.
'What are you doing?' She gasped. 'Get out.'
'Make me.' Nathan said.
'What did you say?'
'I said, make me.' Nathan stated.
Nathan saw Haley break a little. 'Nathan please…'
'No Haley. You need to let someone in. You need to let me help you.'
'No I don't. I don't need you, or anyone else for that matter, telling me what I need to do. So leave me alone.'
'Haley, I know you are hurting. But I want to help you through, like we always used to do. We were always there for each other. Whenever I needed you, you were there.'
'Exactly Nathan. I was there. But where we you, when I needed you?'
Nathan was getting annoyed at Haley's stubborn nature. 'I am here now.'
'Yes, you are here now. But you weren't 3 months ago, when I asked you, when I needed you there. And it hurt Nathan, it did. And sometimes it still does.'
'Haley, you never asked me to come home!' Nathan shouted.
'A best friends help should be unconditional! I shouldn't have had to ask Nathan! You should have just known! But you didn't!'
'Why do you even care anymore Haley? I thought you didn't care!' Nathan yelled.
'Why do I care?' Haley shrieked, throwing her arms up in the air.
It was then when Nathan fully noticed how much Haley had changed. Her arms were thin and fragile, her face pale. Her clothes were hanging off of her body, and her hair was thin. Her cheekbones were sharp, her face had no expression. Her eyes were dull and broken, and her lips were dry. Her body had no fat on it anymore, she was just skin and bones. She looked tired and lifeless. Nathan felt a pang in his heart just looking at her.
'You want to know why I care Nathan?' she gasped. 'These have been the worst three months of my life! I haven't eaten properly, I haven't slept, I haven't been out and I haven't done anything! For three months I haven't smiled or laughed, or even had the need to. For the two months I haven't cried, I haven't had a good time, for god sakes Nathan I haven't even felt anything! Do you know how that feels? For your life to be perfect. And then to lose everything? It is hell Nathan! It really is. So yes, I care. I have had the worst three months of my life, and I needed my best friend to be there for me. But you cut me out of your life because I wouldn't be with you? That's not fair Nathan!'
Nathan looked at his feet. He felt ashamed. And he didn't want to show Haley his tears.
'Look around Nathan! Look around tree hill and tell me it is the same place it used to be! You can't, can you? Because it's not! When you left the old tree hill left with you. And you were supposed to bring it back straight away, and make everything ok. But you didn't!'
'Haley please…'
'Stop saying that Nathan, it's not helping.'
'Haley.' Nathan walked forward and took one of her hands. She flinched, but didn't pull away. 'Haley, I love you, I still do, I always will. But I need you to come back to me, even as my best friend. I need you to let me in.'
'My god Nathan you don't get it! I love you so much. And it hurts, because I can't do that to Lucas. So please, like everyone else does, leave me alone.'
Nathan stood back. He walked to the door. He turned the handle and opened it, but before he left he turned around to Haley.
'Haley?' she looked up. 'It may have killed me everyday to watch you and Lucas, but I know he loved you. He wouldn't want you doing this to yourself. Look at yourself, you are destroying your body. Please Haley, if you do anything, take care of yourself.'
so i went a bit crazy with the bold there. but i really needed to accent the words. when it's bold it means the person is really drawing it out. so if you read over it again you can get the accents. hehe. so that was a sad chapter... and the next one is too... but hey! it has to be bad before it can get better, right? reviews please!
