For a second, neither Narcissa nor Regulus could speak after reading the title of the scribbled list. There were both utterly baffled.

Finally, Regulus looked up at Severus and asked, "Evolution? Snape, what exactly are you planning to do?"

Severus looked distinctly uncomfortable. "It's a thought… well, perhaps I'm planning to, ah, advance myself a little bit. Not physically!" he hastily added, noticing the aghast looks on their faces. "In other capacities."

"So basically you're trying to tell us that you want to become… what? A better person?" Narcissa asked. She flushed instantly, as she remembered who she was talking to.

Severus sighed heavily and sat down against his trunk. "What if I were to tell you that I had somewhat of a… a revelation last night?"

Regulus' eyes narrowed. "Were you smoking something you shouldn't have been?"

"No! That's disgusting. It's more like… well, one could almost call it a look at what I truly, sincerely want." Severus frowned, not really knowing how to explain the Mirror of Erised's vision without giving away what it exactly was.

"And what is it, exactly, that you want?" Narcissa asked.

"That's just the thing – I'm not entirely sure," Severus replied with another sigh. He placed a hand against his forehead. "I just… came to the revelation of what I most want, not how to get there."

"I'm sorry, Snape, I'm not following," Regulus said with a shrug. "Can you try and explain yourself."

Severus let out a disgusted hiss. "Let's try this. Regulus, where do you see me in… oh, let's say ten years?"

Regulus frowned. "Ten years? Well… I see you making potions in some capacity…" He lowered his voice. "Likely while serving the Dark Lord."

Severus' face darkened. "Anything else?"

Regulus held up his hands. "What do you want me to say? Isn't that where you see yourself?"

"The way things are currently going, yes," Severus replied, disgust evident in his voice. "What if I were to tell you that I'm currently reconsidering my choice to join the Dark Lord?"

Regulus' mouth fell open in utter shock, while Narcissa gasped. Severus noted their reactions and snorted with disgust.

"Snape… you can't honestly start thinking that… you're one of his best candidates…" Narcissa stammered.

"He could make do with others," Severus replied shortly.

"I mean, you're Lucius' former protégé…"

"That doesn't mean I have to follow in his footsteps, though," Severus pointed out sharply.

"And everyone has assumed… I mean, where else would you go?" Narcissa looked at Regulus helplessly, but her cousin still hadn't gotten over his shock enough to raise a point with her. "Where else could you find employment? And I mean, it all makes sense too – you're smart, you've got an interest and a skill in the Dark Arts, you're cunning, you have a vindictive streak a mile wide, you're… well, you're everything the Dark Lord would want!" she exclaimed in a rush.

"I'm half-blood, as you well know," Severus said coldly. "And I know the Dark Lord's stance on bloodlines."

"But you came from a respectable family –"

"A family that disowned me the second my mother married a Muggle," Severus interrupted harshly. "The Princes owe me nothing."

"But Snape, Narcissa's got a point," Regulus said, finally finding his voice. "Where else would you go? I mean, why wouldn't you join the Dark Lord? He could give you everything you would want!"

"Really? According to my revelation last night, I don't believe he could," Severus replied with a grimace that twisted the lines of his sallow face. "The Dark Lord is powerful and skilled in the Dark Arts – we all know that. But as of right now, he lacks legitimacy and public respect in the wizarding world. Yes, Narcissa, I know he has won some groups over, but others he will not sway. And given the current conflicts that have been brewing, it seems only logical that there will be war between his group and the others. The Daily Prophet has already branded the whole mess as the 'biggest wizarding conflict since Grindelwald.'

"Thus, from my perspective," Severus continued, crossing his arms over his chest, "unless I want to be dead at the Dark Lord's hand or at the hand of some Auror, I believe it is most prudent to remain neutral if at all possible."

"But you know that someone of your talents won't be allowed to remain neutral!" Regulus pointed out, an element of fear filling his voice. "Snape, have you lost your mind? Since when have you ever wanted to remain neutral?"

"Since I discovered that the Dark Lord can't give me what I want."

"Oh? And who can? Dumbledore? The Ministry?" Regulus said angrily. "From what I've seen of you, the Dark Lord can give you everything you want – power, magic, resources, respect, a chance to get back at those who have attacked you –"

"I'm aware of everything the Dark Lord can offer, I've heard Lucius' recruiting speech before," Severus cut him off, an icy chill in his voice. "But I realized last night that I don't need the Dark Lord for me to have those things. And like it or not," he added, his voice deepening to a growl, "the Dark Lord can't give me my greatest desire, no matter how hard he tries. That I will have to win myself."

"So what are you going to do?" Regulus asked, a definite note of panic in his voice now. "Go over to Potter's side? Join the group that is against the Dark Lord? You know how long they'll last!"

"Why so scared, Regulus?" Severus asked snidely. "Are you afraid that I'm going to do something rash that will put you in danger?"

"Yes!" Regulus shouted, getting to his feet. "I am scared of that – and I'm also scared of what the Dark Lord will do to you and everyone else around you when you refuse his offer! And like it or not, one of those people around you is me!"

"Touching," Severus said coolly, getting to his feet as well, "but the Dark Lord does not scare me. I am respectful of his power, but I am not utterly terrified of his might. He has his limits, like any other human being. And to answer your question before, the answer is a definite no. I have no desire to be anywhere closer to Potter than I have to be – he is a repulsive, egotistical brat with no sense of responsibility, and just being around his ego makes my gut roil. And I don't trust Dumbledore or the Ministry – neither of them is open enough with information to suit my tastes and they both have a reputation for using people. And I will not be used." There was steel in Severus' voice now. "Not by the Dark Lord, not by the Ministry, and certainly not by Dumbledore."

"S-so what do you plan to do, then?" Narcissa asked, as Regulus tried to find words again.

Severus slumped slightly. "I want to try an experiment, if you will. I want to work on improving the aspects of my life that I believe need work."

"That's self-absorbed," Narcissa remarked with a smirk.

"Absolutely, but I also think that if I improve myself, it will lessen my reliance upon others and allow me to win my greatest desire," Severus replied, a small grin creeping onto his face. "From the sounds of your words, Narcissa, it sounds as if you are interested."

"I'm genuinely curious about you want to try and do," Narcissa mused as she picked up the list. "So I assume the removal of Potter is somewhere on the list?"

"I could only wish, but he and his petty gang are not my primary concern. If anything, I want to reduce their effectiveness through my little experiment," Severus said, sitting back down on his trunk.

"And how do you think you'll do that?" Regulus asked, leaning against the bedpost, his gaze firmly fixed on a dark stain on the floor. He didn't seem to want to even look at Severus.

"What is their most common insult towards me, Regulus?"

"There are a number of them… uh, the first one that pops up off the top of my head is 'greasy, oily, antisocial and caustic Junior Death Eater named Snivellus." Regulus snorted with disgust. "And that's just the first one they say before they start throwing the hexes. I'm utterly amazed that you've put up with comments like that for so long."

"Well, when it's four-on-one and the rest of your roommates have the reliability of a teaspoon," Severus growled, "you don't really have any options than to fire off a few hexes before you get disarmed and live with it as long as possible."

"So how do you suppose anything you do is going to help against them?" Regulus asked incredulously.

"Well, the research into curses fast enough to stop all four of them didn't exactly work out well, and going back onto the offensive, especially with Dark Magic, never helps, so one of the first things that could work is experimenting with mass-effect spells that are both fast and don't delve into the Dark Arts." Severus sighed with disgust. "Like it or not, I won't be able to banish my reputation as a 'Junior Death Eater', given I am a Slytherin, but if I distance myself enough from Rosier and the rest of the asinine fools he carts around, it might help lessen the effectiveness of the comments. "

"It also makes you more vulnerable, if you're on your own," Narcissa noted quietly. "Slytherins should stick together…" She looked up at Severus, finally beginning to grasp a part of what he was saying. "Ah. You want to utilize us as backup?"

"Are you insane?" Regulus demanded. "Sirius hates me enough as it is – what do you think he'll say if I start acting as your backup?"

"Not as backup, precisely, but more as, ah, passive obstacles," Severus said, again looking distinctly awkward. "Potter and his goons prefer to attack me when I am alone – if there are times in which I can even pretend that I am with either of you, it will automatically add an element of indecision to their decisions, knowing that there would be slightly more, ah, collateral damage if they tried."

"The idea has merit, but that won't get them totally off your tail," Narcissa mused, her eyes scanning the list.

"And if I know my brother, he'll still throw insults at you until you do something stupid," Regulus pointed out.

"Understandable, and that leads to the second part of my plan," Severus said, now looking as if he would really rather be somewhere else. "I need to do something to make myself less, ah… well, I don't know how to say this…"

"Unattractive?" Narcissa said bluntly, the beginnings of a smile forming on her face. "Greasy? Oily? Ugly? Utterly repulsive?"

"That was uncalled for!"

"But Snape, I hate to tell you this," Regulus said awkwardly, trying to keep the smile off his own face, "you aren't exactly the pinnacle of physical beauty."

"Why, thank you for your kind words, Regulus Black, but unlike you, I wasn't graced with stunningly good looks." Severus snorted. "I've learned to deal with it."

"Not enough," Narcissa muttered. Severus threw her a baleful look while Regulus chuckled.

"It's not that funny."

"You're right, Severus, it's not," Narcissa said coolly, getting to her feet and eyeing Severus critically, like she was examining a specimen. "It's quite sad and pathetic, actually, that somebody who puts so much time and detail into his notes cannot put the same into his personal appearance."

Severus went red. "I am quite clean and hygienic, thank you very much. And it hasn't been much of a priority –"

"Until when?" Narcissa cut him off sharply. "And it's not just about being clean. Some people – like myself – know that a good exterior automatically makes you more likeable and easier to talk to. Whereas, in your case… well, do you want the honest truth?"

Severus took a steadying breath. "Well, it can't be anything worse than what I've already heard from Potter and Black."

Narcissa pursed her lips in contemplation. "Your hair is long, but it looks better that way. Potter and Black have already spoken about the oiliness issue – dear Merlin, you need to use a good conditioner or something there – and I think they've made wise-cracks before about your teeth…"

If Severus knew how to Apparate, he would have vanished from the room in a second. His face went red. "I know they're crooked, but my family, well…"

"Oh come now, you haven't heard of wizarding orthodontics?" Regulus asked, grinning slightly. "Available for all wizards free of charge if you know the right people."

Severus rolled his eyes. "And I suppose you do?"

Regulus shrugged. "I could set you up with an appointment. Probably the fastest way, though, to fix things is to just get socked in the mouth hard enough that it chips a few teeth and you have to go see Madam Pomfrey. She'll fix 'em and if you ask her politely, she might even straighten them out."

"Oh, that will be a comfortable conversation," Severus remarked sarcastically. "What else, Narcissa?"

"Well, when Potter and Black called you a weed a while ago, they might have been speaking with Quidditch on their minds – you really don't have the same muscle they do."

"That's because I've always chosen to be brainy, not brawny," Severus replied icily.

"Ah, but who says you can't have both?" Regulus asked, pointing at himself with a twinkling smile.

"Oh, shut up. And besides, the only physical activity in this school is Quidditch, and I'm terrible at it."

"When was the last time you tried out for the team?" Regulus asked coolly. "I'm guessing not since second year, when Black hexed you while you were in the air and you broke your collarbone from the fall. I'd recommend you give Quidditch another shot."

"I'm not a team player, Regulus."

"As if we didn't know that," Narcissa said with disgust, sitting back down on Severus' bed. "Look, Severus, do you want our help or not?"

Severus turned away. "This was a stupid idea…"

"No, it wasn't," Regulus replied evenly. "Just because we're telling you things you might not want to hear doesn't make the entire damn thing stupid."

"Fine," Severus snarled. "Is there anything else about my… personal appearance, Narcissa?"

"Just one thing, really," Narcissa replied after a few seconds of thought. "You slouch your shoulders way too much. Why don't you stand up straighter?"

Severus tried pushing his shoulders back slightly, but as soon as he stopped thinking about it, his posture crumpled inwards.

"Yep, he needs posture work," Regulus agreed, scratching his chin. "It's really a shame you've gotta learn it now – it's better if you start younger."

"Well, posture was never really a priority in my house," Severus growled through gritted teeth.

"You know, I think I should ask this question, Severus," Narcissa said slowly, looking up from the list. "You've never cared about your personal appearance before now, but on this list is absolutely everything I've said. So I've got to ask the question: who is she?"

Severus went white. "There's nobody. I told you, it's my attempt to improve myself –"

"Snape, that's dragon dung and you know it," Regulus said sternly. "All of this points towards some mysterious lady that you want to win? Care to fill us in, as we are indeed trying to help?"

"I told you, there's nobody –"

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Regulus, it's Lily Evans."

Severus was speechless for a few seconds, as was Regulus. Finally, he stammered, "How did you –"

"Oh, please, Severus, don't think I'm stupid," Narcissa snapped, flipping the list over to read the back. "I've known you've liked her since… well, since I've known you."

Regulus looked incredulous. "So that's why you're trying to repair your image – you think you'll be able to attract that Mudblood –"

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Severus roared, his wand out in a flash.

"It's definitely her," Narcissa muttered.

"Fine – you think you'll be able to attract Evans away from… who? Potter? Black? As far as I can tell, she hates both of them." Regulus crossed his arms over his chest. "Or is this about what happened yesterday?"

Severus said nothing.

"Dear Merlin, Snape, don't tell me you went to the Gryffindor dormitories last night," Regulus said, a note of incredulous disdain in his voice.

Severus again said nothing, this time casting his gaze to the floor.

Regulus whistled. "Well, you've got your work cut out for you. I wish you the best of luck – you're going to need it."

"What? Does this mean you aren't going to… well, help me?" Severus asked, looking up with shock on his face.

Regulus ignored the question and turned to Narcissa. "So how did you wager?"

Narcissa grinned. "I knew he liked Evans – I threw my money there in the pool."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "What pool? What's going on here?"

Regulus smirked. "I'm surprised you don't know yet, Severus – I thought Rabastan or one of your roommates would have leaked it to you by now."

"They're hardly pillars of reliability," Severus growled. "What pool are you talking about, you two?"

Regulus shrugged and settled down next to Narcissa on Severus' bed. "Well, back in… what was it, second year?"

"Third year," Narcissa replied distractedly, her eyes still scanning the list.

"Right. So in third year, most of Slytherin house got together while you were in the library and put together a betting sheet on who would be the first girl you'd officially get together with and what you would do with her – kissing, necking, shagging –"

"I get the picture," Severus growled, liking his own house less and less by the second. "So Narcissa, you betted that I would get together with Lily Evans first. Out of curiosity, what odds were you given?"

"Fairly good ones," Narcissa replied, tossing back a strand of hair that was in her face. "Not as good as Regulus, though."

"All right, so who did you bet that I would end up with, Regulus?"

Regulus looked proud. "Narcissa here."

Severus looked to be at a loss for words. Narcissa, despite herself, flushed a bit. Regulus, however, seemed oblivious to their reactions. "You should have seen the odds they gave me on that bet."

"Probably because it will never happen," Severus replied sharply. "Narcissa and I are… well, I wouldn't call us friends, but we cooperate with each other." And if I tried to do anything more, Lucius Malfoy would skewer me and skin me alive with cattle shears.

"I don't know, Severus," Narcissa said finally, looking up from the list. "You made a pretty extensive list of ideas here – if, by some miracle, you managed to fulfill everything on the list, you could be quite the interesting match – at least until we leave the school. I'm sure Lucius would understand."

I'm sure he wouldn't, but I know your motives, Narcissa – you don't want to be the only upper-year girl without a steady, in-school boyfriend, Severus thought. And with your popularity, a boyfriend is pretty much expected. And I'm not denying that there are slim pickings in our year.

"So," Narcissa said primly, getting to her feet and eyeing Severus critically. "Do you want my help or not?"

"Are you offering?" Severus countered.

"That depends. Are you willing to follow through with what you wrote down there, Severus? There are some pretty atypical and surprising things on that list – many of which I know you will have plenty of difficulty doing or tolerating. I'm willing to aid you if you go all the way, but if you aren't going to go through with this effort totally, I'm not going to support it." Narcissa crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you think, Regulus?"

Regulus sighed. "If you want to win Evans back, Snape, I'm afraid Narcissa is right. You'll need to do everything here. And I am willing to help – on the condition that nobody knows about my involvement."

"Same for me," Narcissa agreed. "Well, Severus? Will you accept our help – whatever that might entail?"

Severus hesitated. When he had conceived that list, he was thinking of ideas – any ideas – that might come in handy. Despite everything, he had never really asked what Lily wanted in a boyfriend or partner. I had been hoping that everything would just come together – I should have known that the way things were going, they were bound to fall apart.

He looked at Narcissa's steely eyes, at Regulus' resolute expressions. "You both know that are you both potentially accepting a great risk by taking this on. I must ask you both if you are willing to take that risk."

Regulus, as Severus expected, looked slightly uneasy at the question. "I'm only a little nervous how far you're going to expect me to take this with you," he said cautiously. "I'm not willing to go totally independent like you are. But for most of it… as long as nobody knows, I'll help."

Well, it's better than I ever expected, Severus thought, accepting Regulus' offer with a terse nod. "And you, Narcissa?"

Narcissa made a disdainful noise. "Severus, what Regulus over there fails to realize is that if you attempt this scheme of yours, you could stand to gain a great deal. Such a gain would only bring good things to Slytherin, our family, and my own pursuits. Subsequently, if you fail, you simply revert back to your ordinary self – which I've learned to tolerate reasonably for the past five years." Narcissa shrugged. "It's mutual. Either way, I win."

Severus swallowed hard, unsurprised by Narcissa's remarks. She's doing what any Slytherin would do – thinking of her own welfare before that of another. Prudent, especially in a venture like this.

But I'm not doing things that way – I'm only thinking of Lily. The question is not whether I will change – it is whether or not there is anything left of our friendship that I can restore.

And like it or not, there are things that she will have to reconcile, not me. I won't take all the blame for the shattering. I could never figure out if she ever did have any feelings towards me, but if she did, maybe they can be restored, but she will need my forgiveness as much as I needed hers. I'm mature enough to take the first step, but she must be the one to take the last…

"Well, Severus?" Narcissa demanded. "Are you going to do this?"

Severus swallowed hard. "Yes, I'll do it."

Narcissa clapped her hands together. "Excellent. Now release the charms on the door so we can go down to dinner – these sort of plans can't work on an empty stomach."

"But you barely eat at dinner anyways," Severus pointed out with a wry smirk.

Narcissa shrugged. "It's the thought that counts."

"I just have one question," Regulus spoke up, picking up the list and handing it to Severus.

"What?"

"Why do you have such an utterly asinine title for that list?"

Severus snorted. "You see how logical and rational you are at six in the morning."