You know, I don't often get that angry with James or Sirius, but they really took the cake this time, Remus thought furiously as he strode down the corridor towards the Great Hall. The doors were thankfully open – otherwise Remus wouldn't have hesitated to blast them apart with his wand.
He had never felt so enraged in his life – and being a werewolf, that was surprising. Even after the tense conversation he had had with James and Sirius over breakfast, the arrogant berks still thought it necessary to try and attract Lily's attention. But worse still, they did it in the middle of the exam!
It hadn't gone well. Remus had done his best to avoid the two trying to get Lily's attention during the written paper, but he knew that he hadn't done nearly as well as he would have wanted to because of the distractions. Lily was even worse – already stressed by the exam and by the events the night before, she had nearly broken down over the written paper, and it had been a miracle that she had finished the exam at all.
And from what Remus heard, the practical went even worse. Sirius had tried to talk to her before the exam had even started, and Lily had burst into furious tears after slapping Sirius twice in the face. Subsequently, she ended up distracted during the practical and she left that exam in tears as well.
But that wasn't the worst of it. Remus had decided to go down to the library for an overnight study session – fuelled by an ample supply of hot tea, which he had been conjuring for himself since he was twelve – and had luckily missed the disastrous events in the dormitories that night, where both James and Sirius had tried to confront Lily. From what Remus heard from Peter that morning, it had ended disastrously, with McGonagall arriving in the dormitories to find Sirius unconscious and bleeding on the floor, James in his boxers (having shed the clothes that Lily set on fire) and Lily covered in thick pink slime (how that was conjured, Remus had no idea). Remus was surprised that they had only lost sixty points from Gryffindor, which threw them out of the lead.
Hardly a conclusive study evening for them last night, Remus thought darkly as he strode towards where Sirius and James were sitting, eating their oatmeal and sausage with gusto.
Peter was the first one to spot Remus coming into the hall, and he wisely slid down the table as far as he could. But Remus' eyes were only focused on the two black-haired boys, who looked up to see Remus standing right behind them.
"Oh hi, Moony," James began, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "How was your –"
SPLAT.
With one smooth motion, Remus grabbed the backs of both James' and Sirius' robes and slammed their heads directly into their oatmeal bowls. Then, dusting off his hands to an explosion of laughter erupting throughout the hall (although loudest at the Slytherin table), he sat down next to Peter as the two sputtering teenagers began to extricate themselves from their oatmeal.
"Can't really turn with that blow, can you, Padfoot?" Remus said primly, taking a slice of toast and buttering it as Sirius tried to pull the oatmeal of his hair.
"Dear Merlin, Remus, what was that for?" Sirius sputtered, wiping his sodden face with Peter's conveniently offered napkin. "I have oatmeal in my hair! In my hair! You know how much effort I put into making sure this hair is styled? No lady is going to kiss me if I have oatmeal in my hair!"
"Well, no lady's going to kiss you today, at least not from Gryffindor, especially after all the points you lost us," Remus said with disgust. "That gives Slytherin the House Cup this year, and we've won it three years in a row. I don't suppose you could somehow get us back sixty points somehow?"
"We've lost big numbers before –" James began, but he only succeeded in attracting Remus' attention, as the werewolf rounded on James.
"You're right, we have, but not for in-house fighting. Care to explain to me what went on last night?"
"It was just a scuffle – we had to explain to Lily –"
Remus snorted. "I know what happened, James. So what did McGonagall think of your boxers?"
James went red as Peter burst out laughing. "She said… she said they were very nice."
"And then she took away sixty points from Gryffindor."
"Right," James answered promptly.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Care to tell me what spell you hit Lily with?"
"It was originally going to be green slime, you see," Sirius began, "but Evans hit it with a Colour Change charm that was meant for me…" His voice trailed off at the furious look on Remus' face.
"How did it get to wands, might I ask?" Remus asked through gritted teeth.
Sirius exchanged a look with James. "Well, we tried to talk to her and she slapped both of us again –"
"Hadn't she already slapped you yesterday already? Padfoot, even attempting to talk to her was going to end badly in her mood – didn't you know that?"
"I thought she was just upset about the Transfiguration –"
"You know it's more than Transfiguration, Sirius!" Remus snarled. "She spent another night outside her dorm crying, did you know that? She's not taking whatever happened the night before last well at all, and yet you and James still insist on bugging her? Dear Merlin, whatever happened to your common sense?"
"Presuming they had any to start with," Peter mumbled in between bites of his muffin.
"And I can only assume you never talked to Snape?" Remus finished, eyeing James with distinct disappointment. "I thought you wanted Lily back, James."
"I never got a chance to apologize –"
"Providing you even tried, which I know you didn't," Remus spat with disgust. "Look, Prongs, I'm your friend, but what you're doing to Lily is wrong. Going after her after she broke with Snape, in the middle of an already stressful exam season, is not smart. But you aren't even trying to make amends, and it's only making things worse between you and Lily."
"Bad attention is better than no attention at all –"
Remus snorted. "Oh, please, Padfoot, don't start. My point is that Lily needs time to deal with her emotions and pull herself back together. She just lost a friend that she cared for very deeply – no matter how much she tried to deny it – and she doesn't really have anybody to confide in. All the other girls are worried about her, that she's going to do something stupid or reckless, and they've been trying to watch out for her, but it doesn't help the situation at all when you, Prongs, and Padfoot here try and 'help' your own way. You two just need to leave her alone for a little while, and maybe – just maybe – she might show interest in you, James."
There was a long silence, and then Sirius took a deep gulp of his juice.
"Dear Merlin, when did you get to be so smart, Moony?"
Remus sighed tiredly and put his head in his hands. "Feelings are supposed to be my specialty, remember?"
"You see, this is a much more appropriate time to be getting up in the morning," Regulus said with a smirk as he sat down at the table next to Severus, who was discussing his 'list' with Narcissa. "Any ideas on how you two are going to go through with this?"
"Plenty," Severus replied distractedly, lowering his voice to a quick whisper. "Frankly, if I'm going to make a start before the summer, I'll need to move fast. Not much term left, and only the History of Magic exam left. I'm figuring that any of the larger physical changes – like the hair – until next year. That sort of thing will take time for me to get used to, and I come back over the summer changed, it would induce a much more dramatic effect."
"True enough," Narcissa agreed. "But I do think that the wizarding orthodontics could be done earlier – it's a smaller change."
"So I just have to get somebody to punch me in the face," Severus grumbled morosely. "That means provocation and likely losing points from Slytherin. Perfect. I don't want us to lose the lead, now that we just got it."
"Why, Snape, I didn't know you cared," Rosier exclaimed loudly, sliding down opposite Severus, who deftly slid his list under a book. "So, have you eaten yet?"
Severus sighed. "Why do you even ask if you already know the answer? Redundant questions make you look like an imbecile, Rosier."
Rosier flushed. "Mind your manners, Snape."
"Only when I feel like it, and never towards you," Severus replied smoothly, a smirk growing on his face. "So, what do you suppose set off little Lupin so much to give Black and Potter a dousing in oatmeal?"
"It was certainly strange," Narcissa mused.
"But it's a sign of a growing backbone in one of those damned Marauders," Damian Mulciber added with disgust, sitting down next to Rosier. "We'll have to watch him."
If you knew who Lupin really was, you'd be more careful, Severus thought coolly, but he didn't mention anything. Apart from the Hogwarts teaching staff, the Marauders, and himself, nobody even knew that Lupin was a werewolf – and subsequently much more formidable than what met the eye.
"So, Snape, your History of Magic notes," Rosier said mildly, leaning on the table with disinterest. "Care to share?"
"Care for me to shove my wand up your nose?" Severus shot back. "It wouldn't matter anyways; I left them in my trunk in the dormitory."
Rosier groaned. "Snape, you keep letting me down here. How are we supposed to pass History of Magic without your notes?"
"Why do you want to pass that O.W.L. anyways?" Narcissa asked with a raised eyebrow. "You spend that class sleeping, eating, passing notes, or snogging your latest female escapade senseless in the back of the room."
"Only because I can't be with you, dear Narcissa," Rosier replied with a charming smile. Severus restrained his urge to vomit into his empty goblet.
"Severus, you wouldn't have happened to have created that pubic hair porcupine quill spell yet, have you?" Narcissa asked lightly.
"I've been busy, Narcissa, and that sort of Transfiguration is not typically on my list of things to do – and I'm not eager to experiment," Severus replied with mocking disdain.
Before Rosier could make an exclamation, there was a great fluttering of wings. Severus didn't even look up – he recognized the sound instantly, and didn't care in the slightest. It's not like I ever get letters anyway…
All of a sudden, a dozen tawny owls landed at the Slytherin table, all holding an identical note, wrapped in silver ribbon. To Severus' shock and mild annoyance, one of the owls had landed in front of him.
He untied the note, but not before noting the seal on the parchment. Malfoy… what the hell does he want with me?
Narcissa had already opened the note and was reading aloud. "My respected friends, you have been invited to a social affair on the third of July, at Malfoy Manor, to celebrate my respected father Abraxus Malfoy's seventieth birthday. This is an exclusive affair, with several extremely important guests, so please conduct yourselves in a manner most appropriate for your company. Dress robes required. With respect, Lucius Malfoy." Narcissa looked up at Severus, her eyes shining. "I can't believe he's inviting us!"
"That makes two of us," Severus replied grimly, staring down at his note, an uneasy feeling roiling in his gut. He knew very well of Lucius' connections to the Dark Lord – could the Dark Lord be one of those 'extremely important guests'?
Damian Mulciber smirked widely as he flourished his own note. "You know, if Lucius is inviting us to this sort of things, you know what that means."
Rosier nodded with a grin of his own. "He's going to be there."
"Don't get any ideas, Rosier, we're only sixteen," Severus said sharply. "And if Dumbledore ever found out…"
"Oh, please, we can hide things from that old windbag," Rosier scoffed, tucking the note inside a pocket of his robes. "In any case, since you aren't supplying me with History of Magic notes, I guess I will have to go get them from another source." And with a wave of an accusatory finger that Severus longed to hex off, Rosier got up and left, with Mulciber close behind.
"Thank Merlin he's gone," Narcissa said, clearly relieved. "He utterly disgusts me, but the way he looks towards women is reprehensible!"
Severus privately agreed, but he chose not to respond – the last thing he needed was to get on Rosier's bad side. Just because I want to improve myself doesn't mean I'm stupid.
"Severus, we could have a problem," Regulus whispered anxiously.
"What now, Black?" Severus said irritably, sliding his list into his bag.
"Our table wasn't the only one that received invitations."
Severus looked up, and saw two owls heading away from the Gryffindor table – more specifically, the spots where Potter and Black were sitting. The two Marauders were now staring at the invitations in their hands with unconcealed horror.
Severus cocked an eyebrow. "Why the hell would those two be getting invitations to Lucius' little affair?"
Regulus looked uncomfortable. "I have my suspicions. Potter is from one of the richest and most powerful pureblood families around, and there are rumors that his father once had deals with Abraxus Malfoy. And Sirius has been to a lot of these things before, and my mother might have specifically requested that Sirius get an invitation – you know, show the whole family. And there have been rumors…"
"What rumors?" Narcissa asked, looking interested.
Regulus lowered his voice. "Well, they say that my mother has been working to arrange a marriage for Sirius, and this might be one of the last opportunities to negotiate the deal before he turned seventeen and leaves. After all, they might not like each other, but my mother at least wants to see him married off to a respectable pureblood girl."
"Is your mother insane?" Severus whispered incredulously. "Doesn't she know what Sirius has been doing at school? Doesn't she know what he supports? He'll bolt the second he hears about the possibility of an arranged marriage!"
"Believe me, I know that," Regulus said quietly, looking as uncomfortable as Severus had when they had discussed the list. "But she's still convinced that if she finds the right girl, she can get him locked in a marriage contract that will bring power to the family before he regains his senses."
Narcissa whistled. "Thank Merlin Lucius and I have already worked things out. I wouldn't want to be the lucky girl that gets stuck with that blood traitor."
Regulus turned to Severus, an anxious expression on his face. "I'm not sure I want to be in the same room – or house – as Sirius when he finally figures it out. At least not alone. How are you planning on getting to Malfoy Manor?"
Severus shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it. Probably the Knight Bus."
"Forget that. Floo over to my house the morning before and you can come with the rest of the Blacks. We can all come in one group, and that'll save you from having to meet Rosier as soon as you get in."
Severus agreed with this privately – he had no desire to run into Rosier in any social setting – but he was wary of Regulus' motives. The young man was extremely cautious, disliking anything that upset the established order – and Severus knew that Sirius Black would do a great deal of that upsetting as soon as he found out about any marriage plans.
"All right, fine," Severus said finally, setting his hands on the table and pushing himself to his feet. "I'll be your backup in this social escapade. Now let's get out of here – I need to think of a way to provoke your brother and Potter into breaking a few of my teeth after History of Magic."
"I don't think there's anything in the course material about that," Narcissa replied with a smile. "Looks like you'll have to invent your own history here, Severus."
Severus grimaced. "A pity it'll be so painful."
She didn't understand it.
She had expected him to appear heartbroken – at least, that was the impression that she had had after he had left. She expected him to appear grief-stricken, ruined, angry, resentful….
But as she watched him leave the Great Hall, she didn't see any of that. He left with the Black cousins – surprising enough, as they were regarded as far more popular than he – but there was something different about him. Something in the way he walked, the way he was holding himself…
His face was still locked in a faintly contemptuous expression, driving away younger students with a single glare, but there wasn't as much sheer enmity in his expression. It was almost as if he was acting the way he was because he was used to it, and was looking for something different, something that he knew, yet hadn't quite achieved.
But there was something new in his eyes – that, she could tell. No longer were they the mirrors that gave no warmth, or the spiteful orbs that radiated hatred and disgust, or even the despondent eyes that saw no good or light in the world. Now, there was something different – a flicker from within. In his eyes now, she saw purpose, a goal, a destiny.
She felt her eyes well up with tears again as she folded up the note she had received at breakfast. She tried to compose herself by wiping away the tears, but she knew it wouldn't take much for her to cry again.
She didn't understand it. Severus Snape walked with purpose, as if his route had been set and he was willing to walk it, and all hell be damned if it tried to interfere – while Lily Evans felt like her world was caving in around her.
She knew something had gone terribly wrong. She wasn't supposed to feel this way – her head told that. Her roommates told her that. Hell, even Potter and Black had told her that. He had insulted her, thrown away years of friendship to attack her for something she couldn't even control. The one who should have felt pain was Severus – she knew that. After all, he had thrown it all away, not her. She had just finally seen the truth about him.
Yet Severus Snape walked with new purpose, while Lily Evans could only watch and hold back tears she knew she shouldn't have, but felt just the same.
I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry, she repeated to herself as she took her place in line for the History of Magic exam.
But her mind was not on obscure dates or forgotten histories. She instead wondered why she had lost control so easily. She knew that Severus had been just a friend, and although he had always seen it as something more, she had maintained boundaries.
Then does he walk with new purpose while you cry alone? the snide voice said in her head. Why the tears, Lily? Why the tears?
"Please dispose of all study notes," Professor McGonagall announced curtly, and several students groaned as they pulled out papers to place on their desks to be magically vanished. She pulled out the note and flipped it open, the one she received at breakfast from someone she had never expected to ever contact her.
Severus is willing to change for you. Can you change for him?
From,
Narcissa Black
She swallowed hard. She didn't know the answer. Slowly, her hand trembling all the while, she placed the note on her desk.
There was a whoosh of a spell, and the note was gone, replaced by the History of Magic exam. She looked up, past Potter and Black, who were thankfully sitting behind her this time, to a dark-haired man who was not looking at his paper, but at the inside of his hand, as he were seeing himself in a new light.
Perhaps he was. The note from Narcissa indicated it was possible.
"You may begin," Professor McGonagall's voice rang out over the hall, and Lily put her quill to paper, her mind on history, her heart feeling deeper confusion than ever before.
"So, what did you think of the exam, Prongs?" Sirius asked casually as he left the hall.
James only snorted in response.
"That bad?"
"Thankfully, my parents don't care about History of Magic, otherwise I could be in trouble? You?"
"Well, my parents do care that I learn History of Magic, subsequently I know I'll be in huge trouble when they find out I failed that exam," Sirius replied, his voice deadpanning. Peter chuckled at the remark.
Remus nudged James. "Look, there's Snape. Go talk to him. We'll stay back here –"
"Wands drawn and ready," Sirius added seriously. "No chance of being caught unprepared."
Remus threw Sirius a scathing look, but chose to ignore the comment and turned back to James, who was looking pale. "Oh, come on, Prongs. Is it so hard to apologize?"
"He'll know I don't mean it," James replied, his jaw clenching. "He'll know I'm just doing it to get back to Lily."
Sirius rolled his eyes, but Remus was undaunted. "He's going to be leaving soon – go!"
Swearing under his breath, James walked forward and tapped Severus Snape on the shoulder lightly.
"Snape?"
Severus reacted with startling speed to the tap and the voice, spinning quickly, his hand going to his wand. He didn't draw it – he was confident that he was faster than James Potter on the draw, and the Gryffindor hadn't drawn his wand yet either – but he was wary. This could be the perfect opportunity.
"What do you want, Potter? If you aren't going to say something, I'm going to leave. In fact, I'm probably going to leave anyways because I really don't care what the hell you say anyways."
"I'll cut to the chase quickly then," James growled, but Severus could hear a note of uncertainty in his voice. "I… I w-want… I want to apologize f-for what happened at the lake two days ago."
Severus' eyebrows flew back into his hair, only to contract in suspicion a second later. "And why would I want your apology? Do you think I don't know your motive?"
James tried to look innocent and failed dismally. "I don't see what you're –"
"Oh, please, Potter, don't look at me like you don't what I'm talking about. Despite the fact that you have less than a tenth of a functioning brain in your head – about half of that in your other head – you aren't that stupid. You think that apologizing to me will convince Lily that you're a decent and noble person and not trying to get into her knickers." Severus sneered, already knowing that he was worsening the situation, as James' face was already bright red. "No matter how hard you try, she'll always see you as the arrogant, prepubescent imbecile that you are."
James could barely sputter an insult. "You… I tried to apologize –"
"You disgust me," Severus said with an insolent smile that he knew would infuriate James even more. He stepped closer, within contact range. "Your hormones do more thinking than you do, and the only thoughts that they give you are to try and shag Lily as hard as you can. That is," he finished, his smile widening as he delivered the finishing blow, "when you're not shagging Black for practice."
WHAM.
Severus staggered back, his mouth bloody and several teeth knocked loose. James, meanwhile, massaged bruised knuckles and spat down at the Slytherin.
"You should watch your mouth when you speak about your betters," James growled, turning away. "But you are right, Snivellus – I'm really not sorry about what happened at the lake. You deserved everything that happened there – and whatever happened afterwards."
"Nobody deserves that, Potter," a voice said from behind him. James spun around, only to meet the hard slap of Lily Evans, who was glaring at James with absolute hatred. "Now get out of my sight before I tell McGonagall to take another sixty points from Gryffindor."
James' mouth fell open, but Lily was already walking away without another word, not giving the slightest notice to either James or Severus, who was pulling himself to his feet and wiping blood from his mouth.
Sirius sighed and turned to Remus. "He should really pursue other women."
"Well, that hurt," Severus mumbled, already feeling his gums swell. His teeth wobbled in his mouth – an absolutely repulsive feeling that he wanted remedied as soon as possible.
"You knew it was going to," Narcissa said, a hint of wry consolation in her voice. "Let's get you to the hospital wing."
"It always hurts, to get what you really want?" Severus muttered as he wiped blood from his mouth.
Narcissa smirked. "It always does. That's why you better be certain you know what you want."
"I do."
"Good. I wouldn't want you to regret this."
"I get the distinct impression you're enjoying this."
"You're right. Not only are exams finally over, I got to watch Potter get slapped by Lily Evans." Narcissa laughed lightly. "In fact, I can't recall the last time I had so much fun."
