"Strange, isn't it?" Regulus mused, his eyes gazing out the streaked window of the Hogwarts Express at the passing landscape. "We've only got a few more years left –"
"More for you than for us," Narcissa said quietly, almost to herself, as she stared at her hands.
"But then it's all…over. We're off into the world. Wherever that might take us," Regulus groaned, sliding back into his seat with a mingled expression of sadness and disgust.
Severus didn't have anything to say to Regulus' comment, so he just turned back to the list lying limply in his lap. His tongue nervously felt his newly corrected teeth. I'll get used to it, eventually, he thought.
He always felt a degree of melancholy when he left Hogwarts every year. This year more than the others, but he presumed that because this year, he seemed to have less than when he had first come… or was it more?
I have plans now, a purpose, a dream… but I don't have Lily. We always sat together on the train… this is the first time I've been with either Regulus or Narcissa… come to think of it, it's the first time they've chosen to sit with me instead of their other friends…
"You know," he began hesitantly, his mouth dry, "you really don't have to sit with –"
"Severus, stop talking before you embarrass yourself," Narcissa interrupted, not even looking up. "We're sitting here. More for our safety than for yours."
Severus rolled his eyes. I should have seen the other angle. "The Marauders have tried their little escapades on the train before."
"It's not them I'm worried about," Narcissa said curtly. "It's that pig Evan Rosier. No doubt he is in the middle of the girl's compartment right now, having some massive orgy –"
"Please, don't say anymore, you're giving me nasty mental images."
"So, to answer your question, I'm not here because of the Marauders," Narcissa finished, finally looking up and tossing her hair back.
"I'm here because of the Marauders," Regulus volunteered. "And because I'm curious on your next move, regarding the list. After all, both Narcissa and I have considerable money riding on this."
Severus sighed. "Well, even after Madam Pomfrey fixed my teeth, nobody even seemed to notice."
"That's because you don't smile," Regulus said helpfully. "If you smiled more –"
"Why would I smile? I am not some prick who feels that every smile makes the day brighter," Severus spat disdainfully. "Those people give me stomach pains."
"Oh, stop being such a depressant, Severus," Narcissa snapped. "You're clearly not an optimist, and you distrust anybody who is."
"I don't distrust optimists," Severus replied, peeling off his robes to reveal a wrinkled old t-shirt and pair of jeans underneath – after all, he had to go through Muggle London to get home. "I'm not used to seeing people who smile constantly – I've seen too many smiles on the face of James Potter while he dangles me in the air. Makes me wonder what they're hiding."
"Not everyone has an ulterior motive, Snape," Regulus said exasperatedly.
"If you're in Hufflepuff, sure, but in our house?" Severus cocked an eyebrow. "Let's be completely honest here."
"Severus, just cheer up, all right?" Narcissa said, running her hand through her long hair. "You should be happy. Slytherin won the House Cup this year – stole it away from the Lion's Den."
Severus snorted. "We won because Potter and Black were imbeciles – no surprises there, but it appears that it finally caught up with them – and we were treated to several hours of gluttony, boorish behavior, and Evan Rosier in all his conceited glory over dinner. It was enough to make me lose my appetite."
"What did you think of Dumbledore's speech at the end of the feast?" Regulus asked, his brow furrowing. "He said some strange thing about 'big changes' occurring next year at Hogwarts, and he kept looking at you throughout dinner. It was disturbing."
Severus had not missed Dumbledore's inquisitive stare during dinner, but he had done his best to ignore it – he did not trust the Headmaster, and he suspected that the old man did not completely trust him as well. I need to work on my Occlumency over the summer if I'm going to being seeing that man anymore…
"We're nearly in the station," Narcissa said, ignoring Regulus' comment as she glanced out the window. "Severus, how are you getting home?"
"The same way I always have," Severus replied, a note of bitterness in his voice. "Either walk or take Muggle transportation. We don't have a Floo, and it's not as if they are going to be waiting for me."
Regulus exchanged glances with Narcissa. "Are you saying," he cautiously asked, "that you've always found your own way home?"
Severus shrugged. "Both my father and mother work – they need to, if they want food on the table – and neither of them have the time to follow my whereabouts." He laughed scornfully, but half-heartedly. "I grew to be very independent very fast. Sure, my mother took me to King's Cross the first year, but after that…" His voice trailed off, and he slumped back into his seat, his eyes blankly staring as he watched the engine pull into Platform 9¾.
He never was a fan of the arrival at the station. Whenever he arrived, he always felt like he was stepping back into a grim, dark reality, emerging from the wondrous dream that was Hogwarts. Even with the Marauders and the depredations of his own house, the school was infinitely preferable to the hopeless squalor of Spinner's End. I'll leave as soon as I'm old enough, he thought darkly, and I'll take Mother with me if I can. She deserves so much more… let Father manage for himself…
The train shuddered to a jolting stop, and with a heavy sigh, Severus pulled his trunk from the baggage rack and pulled it onto the hard pavement of the platform.
All around him, he could see families reuniting, friends saying goodbyes, parents hugging their children, boyfriends embracing their girlfriends…
His eyes seemed to fall upon her without effort. She was leaving the train alone – like him – and she called no goodbyes. Her eyes were only on her mother, father, and sister, standing uncomfortably near the edge of the platform.
He watched as Lily embraced her mother, and Severus could see Lily shaking with sobs. Over the din of the students, he heard Mr. Evans ask Lily, "Where is that Severus boy you're always with? Don't you want to say goodbye to him?"
Severus closed his eyes, holding back the pain that was searing through his heart. She already has, Mr. Evans. And a long goodbye it might very well be.
Even among the crowds of people, he had never felt so alone.
Regulus groaned as he heaved his trunk onto the platform. I definitely need to start packing lighter… or to find a way to leave some of this junk over at Hogwarts for the summer…
"Regulus!"
The unmistakable tones of his brother made Regulus sigh with irritation. He did not turn, but busied himself with the clasp on his trunk, which was threatening to break loose again.
"What do you want, Sirius?"
Sirius grinned weakly as he came into his brother's field of vision. "Well, I need you to –"
"You want a favour. Out with it – even though our parents are out helping Mrs. Malfoy prepare for their party, they still expect us home."
"That's just it," Sirius said with a wide smile. "I want you to cover for me here – I'm not heading home just yet."
Regulus did look up now, his eyes aghast. "They'll kill you if you miss the party –"
Sirius snorted. "Believe me, I know. Look, today's the first of July, and James' dad is setting up a little social fling for the Marauders – you know, beginning-of-summer party. I'll be back by tomorrow afternoon and home for dinner. Frankly," he added, his smile disappearing, "the less I'm around the house, the happier our parents will be."
"They're going to be furious with you."
"See if I care," Sirius replied shortly. "See you tomorrow, Reg." And with that, Sirius turned and rejoined James, who was affectionately embracing his father.
Regulus clenched his fist as he turned towards the express Floo fireplaces specifically set up for quick transportation from the platform to wizarding households. Only a few wealthy families had the option of using the Floo network here – and the Blacks were one of those families.
So now I get to go home and spend time by myself at Grimmauld Place, with nobody but the house-elves for company. Wonderful. Just the way I wanted to spend the next few days. Thanks a lot, Sirius.
Unless…
Severus was making his way towards the barrier when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He instinctively drew his wand, only to see Regulus standing right behind him.
"What's the problem, Regulus?" Severus asked tiredly. "Do I have something of yours? Look, I appreciate your help, but I –"
"How would you feel about coming over to Grimmauld Place for a few nights and going home after the party?" Regulus asked in a rush, his face immediately flushing after asking the question.
Severus frowned. "Why ask me? Surely you have other friends you rather ask…"
Regulus shrugged. "You don't have to come, but I think it would be more convenient. After all, it would be a lot better than having to take Muggle transportation. This way, you can just take one trip."
Severus was unconvinced. Something was up – Regulus had never invited him to Grimmauld Place, one of the Black residences. "I still should contact my mother –"
"You yourself said she wouldn't care," Regulus interrupted testily. "Come on, Snape. Besides, we might be able to work on your little list."
Severus considered this for a few seconds. It would make things easier… and although Regulus probably has some other motive for inviting me over, it wouldn't hurt to see Grimmauld Place… and if the stories are true, they have a fantastic library…
"Well?"
Severus grinned. "Lead the way."
After one disorienting Floo to the house, Severus stumbled out of the grate, coughing and spitting ash from his mouth as he surveyed his surroundings. So this is Grimmauld Place…
They had come out in the kitchen. A long, expensive wooden table stretched across the room, with several shelves and counters already loaded with dishes. Two house-elves were speeding around the room, wearing clean white loin-clothes and carrying plates filled with food.
"They're helping for the party in two days," Regulus explained, stepping out of the grate and wiping soot from his eyes. "Mother's getting the cooking done here and then they are sending it en masse to Malfoy Manor… after all, Black house elves do some of the best cooking around." Regulus looked inordinately proud of the accomplishments of the house-elves, who both bowed deeply to Regulus before speeding away. "Come on, let's go up to the drawing room so we can talk."
Severus followed Regulus carefully, his eyes drinking in every detail, from the beheaded house-elves on the wall (something in which Regulus scowled at) to the umbrella stand that appeared to be made of a troll's leg.
"Looks like your family's allegiance is decided," Severus noticed, settling into a chair in the drawing room, his eyes scanning a tapestry set up against the wall. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black… how… fascinating. Though the Prince family hasn't had much contact with the Blacks over the years, there might be a few Princes there…
He also noticed the little burns that adorned the tapestry, like the charring created by the cigarettes his father smoked. "What are those?" he asked, gesturing at the tapestry.
Regulus' face was grim. "Those are blood-traitors, formally disowned. The family likes to keep the tree trim," he added with a scowl. "Bloody waste of talent, if you ask me."
Severus contained his smirk. "How so?"
Regulus turned away, his eyes drifting to the glass cabinets on the side of the room. "Blood isn't everything, but many families think it is. Even if the wizard or witch has power or strength of character, if they don't toe the line – and many of them do not – they are wiped off the tree."
"It seems that you don't approve," Severus noted, all traces of mirth gone from his face. The serious expression on Regulus' face told him that this topic was no laughing matter. "Worried about your brother?"
Regulus' eyes darted up. "What does he have to do with anything?"
"You seem concerned that he will… well, be blown off the tree."
Regulus scowled. "If he does, it will be his own fault. After all, he's been the chronic rebel in this house – you should hear Mother screaming at him. He's going to leave as soon as he reaches age, I know it… and then the onus comes on me to hold the family line."
Despite himself, Severus turned away, thoroughly perplexed at Regulus' dilemma. In his house, as long as he stayed out of his father's way when he was drunk or laid off, he was relatively safe. He had never been expected to conform, and he had never had any particular responsibilities laid on him that he wasn't used to – he was naturally independent as an only child.
But one look at Regulus' face told Severus that the younger Black's concerns were quite different. If Sirius leaves, he becomes the eldest son in their eyes, and that means he'll gain responsibilities that he's not used to… and that thought scares the hell out of him, I can tell. I wonder how long he could last under the pressure before he breaks like Sirius – from what I've heard from Narcissa, Orion and Walpurga Black can be quite intimidating when they want to be…
"So what will it mean, 'holding the family line'?"
Regulus only gave Severus a steely look, and he knew.
"You think they'll want you to become a Death Eater."
Regulus clenched his fist. "And the strange thing is not that I haven't wanted to – hell, I've wanted to join the Dark Lord's forces since I was twelve. But if Sirius leaves… well… we'll be on different sides of the war."
Severus swallowed hard against the sick feeling growing in his stomach, but Regulus didn't even notice, his voice taking a panicked edge. "And after what you said –"
"Don't use my plan as an excuse, Regulus, if you want out," Severus said sharply. This has gone on enough. "This needs to come from you, not me. I made my choice based upon cold logic and facts that I knew about what I wanted."
"But you knew what you wanted!" Regulus shot back. "I can't say the same, Snape. And frankly, with the likes of the characters who will likely be joining the Dark Lord…"
Severus' face hardened as he thought of the fanatical gleam in Rosier's eyes. "I can understand that… and you know that you're not like them. So you're going to have to make a choice too." He stood. "I need to take my trunk to wherever I'm sleeping. Care to show me?"
"Snape, I could use your –"
Severus cut him off icily. "I can't make your choices for you, Black. Nor do I want to – I have enough problems as it is right now. I'd prefer that we do not discuss this anymore while I am here, is that clear?"
"You don't give orders here, Snape," Regulus growled, rising to his feet.
Severus gave a curt nod. "You're right, I don't. I'm also quite tired and not in the best of moods, so I ask you to forgive me any harsh words. But," he added quietly, "I do understand. Let's try to avoid this topic while we're here, shall we? The last thing we need is a conflict – I saw enough of that at Hogwarts."
Regulus smirked. "A pity you were always embroiled in such conflicts."
Severus scowled, but the scowl turned into a weak grin as Regulus burst out laughing.
"It wasn't that funny."
"That's because you have no sense of humor," Regulus returned with a wry smile. "Let's get your stuff upstairs, and then we can talk about what to do tomorrow before my parents get back. I assume you have dress robes?"
Severus stiffened uncomfortably. He had completely forgotten about that little part on the invitation. He did have dress robes, but they were quite small on him, and not at all fashionable. "I, ah, have dress robes –"
Regulus snorted. "I'm sure you do. Well, I need new robes, and I'm sure you could do with a change, so we'll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and see what we can do."
Severus flushed. "You know I have no money…." But Regulus waved that away easily.
"Not even a problem, Snape. I have more money than I know what to do with, and you're a worthy investment, especially considering the odds I have on that bet."
"I won't accept charity," Severus began heatedly.
"This isn't charity, Snape. Consider it my investment – and an extremely late birthday present."
"You've never bothered with that before," Severus remarked suspiciously.
"That's because you were an antisocial and caustic bastard before." Regulus picked up Severus' trunk with an easy tug – it was far lighter than Regulus' own. "Now you're changing, and things are looking up for you." And with that, Regulus whistled for a few house-elves to help haul the trunks up the stairs.
"As long as I'm not looking up at dirt to be thrown on my head, you might just be right," Severus muttered to himself, but Regulus heard the comment, and his eyes glinted.
If Severus had seen the crafty expression on the young Black's face, he would have guessed that Regulus was up to something. But Regulus turned away, and Severus was left with his thoughts.
Severus had always liked Diagon Alley, although he would never admit it to anybody. For most wizards or witches, a trip to Diagon Alley was routine, much like a trip to the supermarket or the pharmacy.
It hadn't been that way in the Snape house, though. His mother had only taken him when he had to get his supplies for Hogwarts, and those trips were rare – the family never had a lot of money for them to spend on what his father called 'magic trash'.
But now Severus was in Diagon Alley with one of his classmates, one who looked extremely familiar with the comfortably magical setting.
"Right, well, I still have plenty of gold with me that I didn't spend during the school year," Regulus began, his eyes tracing the shops quickly as he set off down the narrow street, Severus along side of him.
"I told you it was a waste of time to try and spend that much on just Hogsmeade visits," Severus replied tiredly. "And I told you that even before we became, well…"
"Better acquaintances," Regulus finished. Severus nodded in agreement, thankful that Regulus had found a better word to use than 'friends'. We're just using each other for our own mutual advantage… this isn't friendship… well, not at least like how it was with Lily…
"So, where first?" Severus asked, trying to peel his thoughts away from Lily and back to their current predicament. "Forgive me for saying, but I've never known the best place to get dress robes."
Regulus cocked an eyebrow. "You've been trying to fit into pureblood society for the past five years and you haven't ever learned the best places to get dress robes and hair-care potions?"
Severus' eyes narrowed. "We aren't shopping for the latter today."
Regulus sighed. "It was worth a try."
"So where now? Madam Malkins?"
Regulus' eyes went wide. "Not for this kind of thing, Snape! Her place is good for regular school robes, but for a fancy affair? Is that where you got your dress robes last time?"
Severus flushed. "Yes."
Regulus shook his head. "No, no, you want Twillfit & Taddings. Come with me… I doubt you even know where the store is…"
Severus smirked despite himself, but a second later his mouth fell open as he entered the store behind Regulus. Robes of all colour adorned the walls, and where there were not robes hanging, there were mirrors, all adorned with silver. He was uncomfortably reminded of the Mirror of Erised, and he wondered if any of the mirrors here were enchanted. Probably are, he thought, his smirk returning, just so that the viewer sees himself in a better light…
Regulus was already examining a set of emerald-green robes with light silver stitching across the torso. "Not bad," he muttered, "but I could do better…"
"I think those robes would make you look pompous," Severus said lightly, carefully sliding into the shop, trying to avoid touching any of the robes hanging from the numerous racks. "Can't you see that the shoulders are padded?"
Regulus grinned. "You have an eye for this sort of thing, Snape."
Severus snorted. "Then why don't I dress better?" he asked, holding out his hands to show his school robes, already somewhat threadbare from two years of wear – he hadn't replaced his robes since the beginning of fourth year, and they were getting small.
Regulus eyed him shrewdly. "Only you know that, Snape."
The smirk vanished from Severus' face in a second. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Regulus grinned. "It means that… well, I don't know for certain, but I have my suspicions that you dress the way you do because you don't want to attract attention."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Obviously."
"That will have to change, Snape, if you want to win Miss Evans back," Regulus said softly, his eyes burning with hard focus, as if he wanted the startled Severus to understand every word, and was not going to suffer ignorance. "You'll have to get her to notice you, and unlike your perfect world, this isn't a meritocracy."
Severus scowled. "What does that –"
"You'll figure it out eventually," Regulus said coolly. Before Severus could even sputter a response, Regulus was already calling for the assistant, a tall, balding man with deep eyes and a thick grey goatee.
"Yes, young masters?" the man's voice was obsequious, but held a trace of haughtiness in it. "What can Twillfit & Taddings do for you today?"
"Dress robes," Regulus said briskly, clapping his hands together. "For the two of us. Price is no object, but we do need them for tomorrow, so we can't have anything custom, besides the usual adjustments."
"Of course," the assistant said with a brief nod before ushering Regulus and Severus into the mirrored fitting rooms. "I'll see if I can find a few styles that might suit you two."
As the assistant left, Regulus turned to Severus. "Well? So what colors are you thinking?"
"Black," Severus answered automatically, and Regulus snorted.
"No, you're not doing that today. You're going to expand outwards – black dress robes make you look like you're a vicar or you're attending a funeral."
Severus' jaw clenched. "So what do you suggest?"
Regulus eyed him appraisingly. "Brown?"
"No."
"A smoky grey?"
"No."
"How about rich beige?"
"No."
"I don't suppose you would like lavender…"
Severus glared at Regulus. "No."
"White?"
"Do I look like somebody who would wear white?"
"Oh, so you want off-white, like cream?"
"I am not a 'cream' person, Black."
"Fair enough. Are you partial to mauve?"
"Are you partial to having your skull smashed in with the Reductor Curse?"
"I'll take that as a 'maybe.' What about orange?"
"Regulus…"
"It was just a suggestion!"
Severus glared at Regulus and was about to comment on where he could put his comments, when the assistant came back in with an entire floating rack filled with dress robes.
"Now, I've sorted the robes based by what I think would work with each of you," the assistant said, drawing his wand and sending several sets of dress robes to each fitting room – although Severus noticed that the assistant sent far more sets of dress robes to Regulus'. "If you see any that you like, please come out and show me."
Severus, despite himself, swallowed hard and exchanged a glance with Regulus, who could only shrug. Then, feeling as if he was walking to his imminent doom, he stepped into the fitting room and the plethora of robes hung neatly across the far wall.
The first robes he tried on were a deep black, but Severus found the silky fabric off-putting, and he remembered, with a bitter taste in his mouth, what Regulus had said. With great regret, he put the black robes to the side.
Next were robes in an old-fashioned cut in a darker brown. Severus discarded these easily – they made him look like he was born in the last century, and with little class at that.
After that was a rather ostentatious set of robes in a deep forest green, with silver trim. Severus admired these robes, but then he saw the price tag and blanched. Lucius wouldn't spend this much on dress robes, he thought, setting the robes aside with more than a little regret.
He flipped through the sets of robes, a growing look of distaste on his face. This assistance has no taste as all, he thought acidly. Honestly, did he think I would wear robes that looked as if they were sold in the 1700s?
He pulled back a set of utterly hideous purple robes, preparing to pull on his own school robes...
And froze. He hadn't seen these robes. Cut in alternating tones of midnight blue and silvery black, they were of heavier velvet that Severus found strangely comforting. Out of curiosity, he pulled them over his head and straightened out the folds. The robes were a rather strange cut, but he found they looked rather stylish with his longer hair. It's classy, but not overly so, he thought, brushing out the pleats of the robes. He noticed the subtle silver stitching on the cuffs and hood, but didn't care much. Probably worth it… these are the nicest dress robes I've ever worn…
He tried a smile. His now even teeth glinted nervously in the light, and he thought that maybe – maybe – he looked good. Not handsome like Black or Potter or Lucius, but good-looking in an understated way. Nobody would have expected that…
"Are you done, Snape?" Regulus yelled from his room. "You've been in there for nearly a half hour!"
Severus' eyes widened – he hadn't even noticed the time passing. "I…I think I might have found my new dress robes."
"Good. Put it in a bag and let's go – we should probably get back to Grimmauld Place before Sirius shows up."
Severus snorted as he carefully folded the robes and slid them into a neat white bag in the corner of the fitting room. He stepped out to see Regulus holding a set of navy-blue dress robes with a shimmering indigo cape. He looked extremely smug with his new purchase.
"Did you get what you need?" Regulus demanded. "Nothing matte black, I hope."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course not, but you can see them tomorrow. I don't have a problem paying –"
Regulus waved him away. "Don't worry about it, Snape. Consider it a gift from the Black family –"
"Don't say that. You make it sound like I owe your family something, and I don't like having debts unpaid," Severus said, a dull flush rising in his face as Regulus handed both sets of dress robes to the assistant, along with a small bag that Severus was sure was filled with Galleons.
Regulus sighed, a surprisingly wistful noise. "Too independent for your own damned good, Snape."
Severus shifted uncomfortably as Regulus handed him his white bag. If you knew why I was so independent, Regulus Black, you would not be so eager to follow in my footsteps. But from everything you've said, and the way you've behaved, it seems like you already are trying.
Oh well… you'll learn the hard way, like I did.
They managed to arrive at Grimmauld Place moments before Sirius walked in.
"About time you showed up, Mother and Father will be here any minute," Regulus said sternly.
"See if I care," Sirius said with a casual smile. He peered down the dark hallway – only to spot Severus leaning against the umbrella stand.
"Why, hello, Black. Regulus, it appears that the defective quarter of your family has finally made his appearance," Severus said smoothly, sliding into the light.
Sirius jumped back with a mingled expression of fury and horror on his face. "What the hell is he doing here, Regulus?"
Regulus made a noise somewhere between a snort and a hiss. "He and I get along, and we figured that it would be easier for transportation if he stayed over here until after the party."
"Do our sainted parents know that Snivellus is here?" Sirius hissed, drawing his wand. "A half-blood in their house? Our dear old mum might have heart palpitations."
"Why, Sirius, I didn't know you cared," Severus remarked, completely unfazed, knowing that for once, he had gotten the drop on the arrogant Black.
"Don't call Snape that, he's as much of a guest as any of my housemates," Regulus said testily. "And for now, he's a guest under a Black roof. That means you show him the same hospitality that I show Potter whenever he shows his face around here."
"The last time that happened was two years ago, and you spent the entire time pointedly ignoring us."
Severus smirked. "A similar philosophy might do you good here, Black. Carry it over to Hogwarts and I might even start treating you like the sexually-addled asshole that you are, rather than the scum I scrape from the bottom of my cauldron."
Sirius clenched his fists, but with magic, Severus knew the older Black was at a disadvantage, especially if Regulus came to Severus' aid. Which he probably would, and I think Sirius knows that too…
Severus still braced himself – Sirius Black was irrational, and who knew what he would try.
Instead, Sirius took a deep, calming breath and shoved his way upstairs, heading towards his room. He only glared spitefully at Severus and gave Regulus a rather strange look, like he was almost disappointed.
Regulus and Severus were playing chess in the drawing room when they heard a clatter at the front door.
Regulus abruptly stood, his expression unreadable. "Mother and Father are finally home. We should go and meet them… good thing the house-elves already fixed dinner…"
He darted from the room, and Severus slowly followed, his hand moving unconsciously to his wand. He emerged in the foyer, where Regulus was speaking in low voices to his parents.
Severus had seen Walpurga Black before. In her middle years, Mrs. Black looked slightly older than her age, her face lined and her hair was already graying significantly around the temples. Yet Severus could detect a keen intellect in those sunken black eyes, along with a significant haughtiness in her demeanor. If anything, age had only made her appear more formidable, and he reminded himself not to get on her bad side.
"So, did you get new dress robes?" Mrs. Black asked coolly, handing her cloak to a waiting house-elf. "I trust that you did – we can't have the House of Black making a poor showing at Abraxus' birthday. Thank Merlin that you weren't there; we had to go through seating arrangements, and trying to coordinate over three hundred guests, all with particular preferences…"
"I didn't realize you had so much input in the seating arrangements, Mother," Regulus said carefully.
Mrs. Black harrumphed. "I don't, but Lucius Malfoy knows better than to get on my bad side, so he heeded my advice. You and your friend… what's his name?"
"Snape. Severus Snape," Regulus answered, turning to see Severus standing stiffly in the foyer. "As I told you in that owl I sent last night, he's staying over for tonight, just so travel arrangements won't be as difficult for tomorrow."
"The last thing we need are travel complications," Mrs. Black agreed with another grimace. "The Floo Network is going to be a nightmare tomorrow – by Merlin and the Dark Lord, we are lucky that we have such a good connection. So is that your friend there, Regulus?" she asked sharply, her eyes falling on Severus in his threadbare school robes.
"We aren't exactly friends," Severus said with a short nod to Regulus, who was looking uncomfortable again. "More like 'acquaintances that see mutual advantages in our association'."
Regulus' father, who had just stepped through the door, grinned widely at the comment. Orion Black was also in his middle ages, and Severus immediately knew where Sirius and Regulus got their handsomeness from. Even though Mr. Black was rather corpulent in his age, his face still had a sculpted quality that seemed almost ageless, and Severus could detect the brightness of great intellect and experience in his features.
Mr. Black held out his hand, and Severus cautiously shook it. "So you must be the Severus Snape that Regulus has spoken of. A pleasure meeting such a… pinnacle of Slytherin pride."
Severus went red. "H-hardly, sir," he stammered. "Regulus is much too complimentary."
Mr. Black boomed a deep baritone laugh that Severus thought he could feel in his bones. "I must hear more about you, but first we should eat." And with that, the four of them traipsed downstairs, to see the three-course meal that the house-elves had prepared.
Severus noticed that the elder Blacks seemed rather tense and tired around the table, and despite the warmness of their greeting, Severus knew that they were secretly judging him.
He also noticed that Regulus kept casting looks at the staircase, as if he were expecting someone…
Almost as soon as Severus slid his spoon into his soup, there was a bang, and Sirius strolled downstairs, his eyes glinting at the sight of his parents, brother, and Severus all glaring at him.
"Oh, am I late?" Sirius asked mildly.
"It is very poor manners not to be on time for dinner, young man," Mrs. Black hissed ominously, the heavy rings on her hand glinting in the candlelight. "As you can see, we have company."
Sirius threw Severus a disdainful look as he slid into his seat. "Not much of it, I can tell."
Severus ignored Sirius' slur, and turned whole-heartedly to his soup. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Black seemed intent on asking Severus questions.
"I have heard a great deal about you from others, Mr. Snape, not just Regulus. In particular, Lucius Malfoy and Horace Slughorn both speak quite highly of you."
Severus looked up, startled. Malfoy and Slughorn both speak highly of me? What on earth is going on? "I… was unaware of that."
Mr. Black chuckled. "I'm not surprised. From what they tell me, you tend to keep a low profile."
"He has to," Sirius said with a smirk. "If he doesn't, the grease in his hair will just drip all over everybody."
Severus clenched his fist, while Mrs. Black threw her insolent son a dangerous look. Mr. Black, on the other hand, continued as if he hadn't even heard his son speak. "They also tell me you have a great desire to succeed in school, and that you think it should be a meritocracy."
"Absolutely, sir," Severus answered instantly, warming to the subject. "I believe people should be motivated by success, and punished for failure – too often in this world we see scum rise to the top simply because of their abilities to lie. People should be judged on what they do, not what they say or how they say it or who they were lucky enough to be born to."
"I'm not surprised that you think that," Sirius remarked nastily. "Considering you're a half-blood."
There was silence at the table. Severus' face burned with a combination of shame and rage; he couldn't tell which. He was torn between a desire to evaporate on the spot or curse the triumphantly smirking Sirius Black into tiny bloody pieces.
Finally, Mrs. Black spoke up, setting her spoon against her bowl. "You're a half-blood, then? Who was your… wizarding relative?"
Severus' jaw clenched. "Eileen Prince. She married a Muggle."
Mr. Black frowned. "And you manage to score so highly in your classes… Malfoy speaks of you so highly, and he knows you're only a half-blood?"
Of course he knows, Severus thought furiously. He's as obsessed with all this blood nonsense as you are and he figured it out. But unlike most people, he's smart enough to recognize talent when he sees it. In response to Mr. Black inquiry, though, he simply answered, "Yes."
"You know, I think I recognize the name 'Eileen Prince,' Walpurga," Mr. Black said softly, turning to his wife. "She was the only daughter of Mortimer and Portia Prince, and we met her once at Cygnus' manor, didn't we?"
Mrs. Black's brow furrowed. "I think Slughorn might have introduced us… he always liked the Princes, and considering how hard they worked, one can't be surprised…"
The three young men sitting around the table were astounded, Severus most of all. The Blacks, one of the most rich and powerful pureblood families in Britain, spoke well of the Princes, an obscure family of little repute?
"So…" Severus began slowly, tentatively, "you k-knew my family?"
"Not Mortimer's daughter, mind you, but I did know the old man from the war… your grandfather was quite the soldier, if I remember correctly, young Severus." Mr. Black smiled wistfully as old memories seemed to flood back to him, even as he dug heartily into the roast set in front of him. "Your mother was several years behind me at Hogwarts, while your grandfather was several years ahead. But your grandfather had quite the reputation as ruthlessly independent – indeed, I can remember reading the Prophet biography on him and admiring his inventiveness in the war…"
Severus' eyes were wide. His mother had never spoken of her father – he knew as well as anybody that there was bad blood between the two – but to hear Orion Black speak in such glowing terms about the grandfather he had never met made his heart pound with anxious pleasure.
"Well, it's a damn pity that Snivellus' inventiveness only applies to curses," Sirius said loudly, banging his goblet on the table.
"Sirius Orion Black, act your age!" Mrs. Black snapped. "And do not call Mr. Snape that repulsive name!"
Mr. Black, however, had caught his son's comment. "Curses, eh? Do you invent them, young Severus?"
Severus looked away, distinctly uncomfortable at being the center of attention. "I… I invent spells, here and there."
"We just have to introduce him to Dolohov tomorrow evening, Orion," Mrs. Black said with a smile. "You've heard of Antonin Dolohov, of course, Mr. Snape?"
Severus had indeed heard of Antonin Dolohov, the famous – albeit semi-retired - Slytherin Quidditch player who had nearly led England to a World Cup victory a few years earlier. The man was reportedly publishing books now, and Severus had heard that Dolohov's most recent spellbook, Wit of the Duelist, was likely to be a bestseller. "Of course I have. Will he be at dinner, tomorrow night?"
"Better," Mr. Black said with a widening smile. "Lucius has specifically requested that he be at his table – which is your table, by the way."
Severus' mouth fell open in shock, and Mr. Black chuckled easily before continuing, "Lucius said that he wanted you, Regulus, and Regulus' cousin Narcissa at his table. And of course, since Lucius and Antonin are old friends, they'll sit together. And as there are nine people per table –"
"Lucius, Severus, Narcissa, Regulus, Antonin –" Mrs. Black said, ticking them off on her long fingers.
"Antonin's wife Regina –"
"Bellatrix and her betrothed Rodolphus –"
"And Lucius' other friend, Augustus Rookwood," Mr. Black finished, taking a big swig of his goblet. "Quite the talented table, if one asks me."
"Hope nobody does," Sirius growled.
Mr. Black's eyes flashed, while Mrs. Black rose to her feet.
"Your behavior has been disgusting this evening, Sirius. I suggest you leave the table before I make you leave."
Sirius rose insolently to his feet, a sneer across his face. "I guess I should… after all, blood traitors like me don't belong here anyways. You should be happy you have good little Slytherins like 'young Severus' to replace me in your house –"
"That's enough, Sirius, now OUT!" Mrs. Black snapped.
Sirius turned away, disgust on his face. "Miserable old hag," he muttered quite audibly.
"YOU DISGUST ME, YOU TREASONOUS BASTARD!" Mrs. Black screamed at her son's back. "YOU DON'T DESERVE THE NAME WE GAVE YOU!"
There was the slam of a door, and Severus knew that Sirius had locked himself in his room. Mrs. Black screamed again in frustration before sitting back down, a look of abject fury and disgust upon her face.
"Thank Merlin you're so much better than him, Regulus," she said with relief, but there was an edge to her tone that Severus didn't miss – and from the look on Regulus' face, neither did he.
"I get the feeling, young Severus, that you don't get along well with my eldest," Mr. Black said calmly.
Severus shook his head, trying to keep the same glacial aplomb that he had been holding all night. "Not exactly well, no."
"That's good," Mrs. Black said curtly, taking a deep drink from her goblet. "Little bastard's been a head-case ever since he was born. Fortunately, we can handle this before he comes of age."
Regulus' eyes widened as Mrs. Black pulled a small vial from her robes and waved it lightly in the air. Mr. Black only huffed.
"I don't like this, Walpurga, not to my son, but in the interests of the family, we have no choice." Mr. Black stabbed his roast moodily with his knife. "If we have any desire for Sirius to attain appropriate propriety, it must be done."
Walpurga smiled to herself and slid the bottle away as the house elves came to collect the plates and give out dessert. Regulus threw a panicked look at Severus, who tersely shook his head. Not here, we'll talk later.
"Fortunately, we won't have to worry about such measures with you, Regulus," Mr. Black said with a wide smile, which Regulus returned with a shaky grin.
For both he and Severus had noted the telltale mother-of-pearl sheen of Amortentia.
"I can't believe her," Regulus muttered, pacing around his room, which he shared with Severus. "Tricking Sirius is one thing, but using that?" The youngest Black shook his head. "She's lost it."
"Although it will be mildly entertaining to watch your dear brother rampage around in the mad heat of his passion," Severus said with a smirk, but Regulus ignored him.
"But where could she have gotten the potion?" Regulus asked, a note of panic entering his voice. "That stuff is not easy to make, and I thought it was a controlled substance."
"It is," Severus replied coolly. "Clearly your mother was doing more than just seating arrangements at the Malfoys."
"You think that –"
"Of course I do. The Malfoy family has plenty of ties to the Ministry, and with the right wheels greased, who would notice one little bottle of Amortentia that vanishes?"
Regulus sat down on his bed with a disgusted sigh. "I'm all for blood purity, Snape, but this is wrong. I don't suppose…"
"What?"
"Could you potentially make an antidote?" Regulus asked, a dull flush creeping into his face.
Severus stroked his chin. "Possibly, but I would have to ask your reasons why first. I thought you would have liked to see your brother humiliated and trapped in an inescapable marriage contract."
"I don't want to ruin the rest of his life, Snape," Regulus snapped. "I know you'd gleefully enjoy it, but he is my brother. And if he does humiliate himself, it only looks bad upon the family. And what if anybody finds out? I'd hate to see what that poor girl my mother tries to marry Sirius off to does when she finds out the only reason he's with her is because of Amortentia."
Severus paused. Regulus did have a point, and as much as he hated Sirius, he didn't want to make Regulus' life or the life of the girl Sirius would be married to more difficult.
"You do know that when Sirius finds out, he'll be furious," Severus pointed out.
"And that'll be nothing compared to what happens when my mother stops giving him Amortentia and he's stuck in a marriage he didn't approve of," Regulus returned. "Can you just make a few vials of antidote, just in case? Do it because I'm helping you, if for nothing else."
"And here I thought you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart," Severus remarked caustically. "Fine. I'll make the antidote for your brother, but it'll be your responsibility to make sure he gets it."
Regulus sighed with relief. "Thanks."
Severus snorted and stretched out on the bed that Regulus had shoved into the corner of the room. He closed his eyes as his mind drifted…
He froze suddenly, his eyes snapping wide open. He thought he had heard a noise, like the sound of something heavy rolling on old wood.
He closed his eyes. I'm imagining things… no, wait, I heard that for sure!
He rolled over and shot a Stinging Hex at Regulus, who snapped up with a distinctly irritated expression on his face.
"What the hell –"
"Shut up, will you? I heard something."
"You didn't have to hex me!"
"Would you prefer I put your hand in warm water?"
Regulus glared daggers at him, but then he froze as the noise came back again, this time loudest of all.
"What was that?"
"Let's go take a look. Would it be your parents?"
Regulus scoffed. "Hardly. They've got a Silencing Charm on their room that prevents us from hearing them and for them from hearing us."
"That's… disturbing."
"Tell me about it. So let's go, then."
Together, in their nightshirts, the two crept downstairs, past the guest rooms and down into the foyer…
"Sirius! What the fuck –"
"Shh, will you, Regulus? I don't want Mum or Dad to hear!"
Severus' mouth fell open as he beheld Sirius, dragging no less than an enormous motorbike across the open door of Grimmauld Place. Sirius' hair was mussed badly, but his black leather jacket and pants were glossy and glittered in the bright moonlight.
"Nice outfit, Black," Severus remarked with a smirk, stepping into view. "You should really wear it to the party tomorrow night."
"Oh, shove it, Snape."Sirius cracked a weak smile, but Severus could see the anxious fear in his eyes. "Or maybe I should…"
"This isn't funny, Sirius," Regulus said, a definite note of panic in his voice. "Where the hell have you been? It's…" He flipped up his watch to the light. "It's two in the morning! Dear Merlin, Sirius, where have you been?"
"Out," Sirius replied shortly, shoving the motorbike inside a bit further.
"Out where?" Severus asked coolly, his eyes raking the motorbike. Oh, what are Sirius' parents going to say when they see this…? I guess he's taken the whole rebel approach to a new level. "A Muggle biker bar?"
Sirius flushed. "I'm too young – I'd probably get ID'ed."
"I severely doubt it, but that's beside the point. Where were you, Black?"
Sirius looked away. "One of the pubs in Knockturn Alley. I went to Gringotts for the cash and bought my bike from a friend down there. This one can actually fly." Sirius ran his hand along the edge of the seat lovingly. "It's a real beauty, isn't it, Regulus?"
"It's going to be a real crater as soon as your parents find out, Black," Severus remarked sardonically. "What exactly are you trying to prove?"
Sirius glared at Severus. "You wouldn't understand, Snivellus. This is something you wouldn't be able to comprehend."
"Oh, really?" Regulus hissed, taking a step forward. "Try me, then, brother. I've lived in the same house you have. So exactly are you trying to prove, Sirius? Are you attracted to the whole greaser lifestyle that the Muggles like? Planning on going more rogue than you already are?"
"It's been a living hell here for me, Regulus, and don't even try denying it," Sirius growled as he drew his wand. "Our parents have standards that I don't want to meet, and I'm tired of getting hell every time I fall short of perfect snooty asshole."
"You think I don't fall short?" Regulus asked furiously.
Sirius waved the comment away with a scowl. "You at least try, Regulus. I tried for a while, but then I realized something – no matter how hard I try, it will never be good enough for them. And I won't compromise my principles because my parents are too blind to see the light."
Regulus looked like he was struggling for words, but Severus almost thought he understood. Black's tired of living a life that he feels is unfulfilling and that compromises what he believes in. I can understand that. But he's not trying to make a difference – he's just choosing to run. But then again, maybe he knows that his parents and their culture will never change…
"So, as soon as I come of age – which will be soon – I'm leaving." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "Sorry, Regulus, but that's the way it's gotta be. I've had enough. I'm tired of living a lie."
"Where will you go?" Regulus blurted. Severus nearly rolled his eyes with exasperation. It'll be Potter's, no doubt. One of the other pureblood families that shares the same values as you do, Black.
"James' place," Sirius answered immediately. "His dad likes me, and they understand. I've already talked to James about it, and he says I can bunk out with him until I get my own place."
"Which you won't be able to afford," Severus remarked scathingly. "You think that your parents will allow you to keep your money in the Black vaults?"
Sirius genuinely smiled now and flipped a tiny key into the air. "I have my own vaults now. And as for my own place… well, you know Uncle Alphard, Regulus. He's said he'll give me a leg up –"
"Father's going to kill him," Regulus muttered.
"Not before he can give me enough gold," Sirius said smugly. "He helped me get my motorbike tonight."
"Forget Father, Sirius – Mother's going to kill you and him."
"Regulus, surely you can realize that your beloved brother doesn't care," Severus said with a rising smirk. "After all, he can live on his own – he's tired of living a lie."
"I'm not lying, Snivellus. I wouldn't expect you to understand," Sirius hissed.
Oh, but I do understand, Black… better than you know. I could say that I've lived a double life… and at least one would have to be a lie…
"So where are you going to hide this?" Regulus asked, his voice nearly choking up.
Sirius tapped the motorbike with his wand and muttered a word under his breath. There was a burst of exhaust-smelling smoke, and when it was gone, a tiny model of a motorbike was lying in its place, which he quickly picked up and slid into his pocket.
Sirius placed his hands upon the banister, but then turned back to face his brother and the young man he hated. "Look, Regulus, I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't tell Mum and Dad."
"What's going to stop me?" Severus sneered.
Sirius glared at Severus. "Nothing except a sense of honor and decency. But as you possess neither, I guess that would leave Regulus. Do it for his sake, Snape, if not mine." And with that, he headed up the stairs, vanishing into the darkness.
Severus turned to Regulus, who had moved to close the door and lock it. He moved almost haltingly, as if he was far older.
"He doesn't care," Severus heard the youngest Black mutter. "He's going to leave me…"
Severus turned away, an uncomfortable and uncharacteristic lump in his throat, not inspired by the knowledge of his most hated enemy's desperate plan or the humanity that Severus never guessed the older Black brother had.
He knew – and it perplexed him more than ever – that if Sirius cared for anybody in his family, it would be for his lost younger brother.
