Author's Note: first of all, thanks to everyone for the great reviews - you're what keeps this story going (you and my insane desire to see this through to the end). Sorry about the slow update (university work does take a lot of time), but I think you'll like this chapter: a bit of insight into Severus' and Lily's home lives, and an interesting letter from Narcissa to cap it off. The next chapter is going to be ridiculously hard to write right, so the update time might be a bit longer, but I won't say any more. Until later, read, review, and enjoy!
The rain had finally slowed to a drizzle when Severus arrived at Spinner's End, but his mood had only gotten darker as the car drove closer and closer. His mind was on other things, and he had subsequently ignored any attempts at conversation the police officer had made.
"Is this it?" the officer asked quietly. "Not much, boy."
"I wasn't asking for your opinion," Severus spat, getting out the car and slamming the door shut with a bang. "The ride was appreciated."
"I should really explain to your parents –" the officer began.
"No, you really shouldn't," Severus cut him off.
"You just experienced a traumatic event! They should be aware of any psychological –"
"There won't be ramifications, officer," Severus said icily. "Now please leave the premises of my home before I file a complaint against your department for harassment." Bite that bullet, if you can.
The officer threw him a scowl, but got in his cruiser and with a squeal of wet tires on wet road, he sped off.
Severus watched the car drive away quietly. After it had vanished, he sighed heavily and turned towards the door, nicked and scratched from years of Tobias passing out against it.
He pulled his battered key from his pocket and shoved it roughly into the lock. With a quick twist, he let himself into the tiny, dark domicile that was his home.
The TV was playing in the sitting room – some inane action show, from Severus' point of view – and his father was sitting on the musty sofa, a bottle of beer lying next to him.
"Yer home," his father said, his eyes not leaving the television. Severus wrinkled his nose in disgust at the sight of the man. Tobias Snape still had most of the muscle of his army and football days, but the middle-aged man was starting to slow down, and Severus knew that a considerable paunch would soon be bulging from his father's gut. It'll be more than considerable, especially if he keeps drinking like that, Severus thought with a scowl as he moved into the dusty kitchen. His mother tried to keep things clean, but she never had much time, as her job at the apothecary kept her quite busy, often as late as Tobias' work at the mill.
"What, yer not gonna even talk to yer old man?" Tobias said sharply as Severus rummaged through the cupboards for some bread. "I haven't seen ye all bloody year, boy, and it's not like you write."
"It's not like you care," Severus spat, slamming the cupboard door shut. No bread. Perfect.
"Yer my flesh and blood," his father snapped, turning away from the television for a few seconds to scowl at the dark-haired young man. "Of course I care."
"Never would have guessed," Severus said dryly. "So why aren't you at work? Laid off again?"
Tobias clenched his fist. "Don't talk about things ye don't understand, boy. The union's pushin' for more hours all the time."
"Are you on strike now, then?' Severus asked incredulously. "You know they don't pay striking workers. How long have you been off?"
"Didn't know ye cared," Tobias muttered, turning back to the television.
Severus clenched his own fist now, trying to contain his rising temper at the sheer mediocrity he saw in his father. This man tries nothing to improve himself – and he has so much he could improve, too. It's pathetic… "I don't, but it must have been lean."
"We've managed," his father said shortly. "Yer mother's been getting more hours here and there."
So Mother supports the family now. Wonderful. "All right then. I'll stay out of your way, then, as you're trying so hard to be productive." He ignored his father's bellow of rage and continued up the stairs, locking the door with a quick snap and sitting on his bed with a disgusted sigh.
He couldn't understand his father. The man had no problems arguing and making life miserable for himself (and then complaining about it and blaming others for it), but he wouldn't ever try and make something more of himself. It was so… disappointing.
Well, it's not like I'm exactly planning on doing anything this summer either, Severus thought moodily as he expanded his trunk and flipped it open. He started pulling books out (an onerous task, as they filled the majority of his trunk), and flipping through them at random, in almost a daze. The humidity was stifling, and Severus felt sick in the muggy weather. The entire damned house felt stifling to him… maybe it was the atmosphere of neglect that surrounded the whole place, he wasn't sure.
His hands closed on his dress robes, neatly along the edge of his trunk. He smiled as he pulled them out and laid them out flat on his bed. They were the best pieces of clothing he owned, and he wanted them to last – preferably for as long as possible.
As he smoothed out the wrinkles, he noticed a strangely shaped bulge in one of the pockets. Sighing with irritation, he reached into the pocket…
And pulled out a shining gold choker, set with a single massive pink diamond that seemed to glint evilly in the dim light.
Severus stared in wonderment at the choker. How could he have forgotten about this? He carefully set it down on an unstained spot of his bedspread. Can't be too careful, he thought, especially with a cursed item like this. It might have potential, but I saw what it did to Bellatrix…
He ran his hands through his lank, greasy hair and sighed again with exasperation. He might know how to break the curse, but he had no idea how the curse worked, let alone how to activate it. I need to do some research… surely there's something in one of my books…
The heat forgotten, Severus began flipping through book after book, searching for references or clues related to the device, anything that help him crack this mysterious choker…
The door slammed downstairs, and Severus jumped, his copy of A History of Magic dropping out of his hands. Mother's probably home, and that'll mean…
He heard his father's bellow of anger, and his mother's curt reply. Even from his room upstairs, he could hear the tired frustration in Eileen Snape's voice. Not good.
Wrenching open the door and hurrying downstairs, Severus saw his mother standing by the kitchen table, pulling a few cans and vegetables out of her grocery bag. She looked worn and tired, her lank hair hanging heavily over her face. Severus knew that his mother could look quite pretty if she made the effort, but those times were long gone. Now all she had was Tobias, in all of his belligerent, drunken majesty.
"So?" Tobias rumbled, staggering slightly as he slid into his seat at the table.
"So what, Tobias?" Eileen snapped. "I got food – more than what you could say."
"Watch yer tongue, witch," Tobias growled. He said the word 'witch' like a swear word, and Severus had to restrain his urge to curse his father into little tiny bits. His mother, like always, ignored her husband and turned to Severus.
"Good, it's about time you showed up. Set the table, please," she said, gesturing towards the cupboard. With a deeply mistrustful look at Tobias, who was now reading a copy of the evening paper, Severus set the table and sat down for his dinner – which looked pitifully small compared to the rich dinner he had last night at the Malfoys. He felt a pang of jealousy, and another rush of disgust against his father. If he bothered to work, we'd be at least a bit better off…
"Blasted IRA," Tobias muttered, loudly turning a page in his paper. "Reports are that they blew up a bus today! Could ye believe that? It's insane…"
Severus nearly dropped the fork he was toying with. If my father's concerned about this, chances are that the Muggle authorities are too… and the evidence that the Death Eaters left is hard to get rid of… we could run a risk of breaching the Statute of Secrecy, the way things are going…
"So, Severus, how was school this year?" his mother asked as she set the bowls of stew on the table. "We hardly hear from you anymore."
That's because your husband shoots any owl that comes remotely close to this house, Severus thought caustically. He only shrugged in reply. "It was fine. Things happened. Not as good as last year, but I blame that on the work-load."
"Ye gotta get used to workin' hard, boy," Tobias grumbled, folding up his paper and dropping it on the floor. "If ye don't, ye'll never get anywhere in life."
Unless your name is Malfoy, Black, or Potter, Severus thought with disgust.
"Make any new… friends?" his mother asked tentatively.
Severus could barely restrain his snort of disdain, as his mind flashed back to his year. "Perhaps. Can't be sure in that school."
"Is yer education going well, then?" Tobias growled. "We might not have to pay for that school, but ye had better be able to support yerself after ye leave, because I ain't supportin' no vagrant. Ye'll need to get a bloody job or somethin'."
Severus was about to snap an angry retort to the hypocrite, but then a sudden thought struck him. Maybe my father, in his drunken stupor, has a point – I will need to get a job someday. And shouldn't I start this summer… after all, employers would be more inclined to hire workers with work experience. And if I make enough money, maybe I can knock a few more items off that list… hell, it's not as if I'm going to ask my parents for money any time soon, they barely have enough as it is…
"Have you had any luck with the union?" Eileen asked Tobias, trying to keep a steady tone as she watched her husband inhale his food.
The man wiped his mouth with a greasy napkin and shook his head with frustration. "It ain't my fault people can't get their damned act together. Frankly, I was satisfied with me old contract."
"Then why is the union renegotiating?" Eileen asked sharply. Severus silently swore – he knew better than anyone that the union at the mill was a touchy subject around Tobias, who had had both good and bad experiences with the zealous workers. "Surely the rest of the workers want to keep working…"
"People will be people and there's nothin' I can do to change it," Tobias said flatly, tossing his fork in his empty stew bowl. He turned to Severus, who was slowly picking his way through the stew. "Boy, mind ye get a job someday where ye have a good contract… or a good union."
"You mean, not like the one you have right now?" Severus asked, silently cursing the words the second they left his mouth.
Tobias lurched to his feet, a wild expression of mingled anger and frustration, fused together with a liberal quantity of alcohol, crossing his haggard face. "Ye stupid boy – ye have no idea –"
"And I hope he never will," Eileen snapped, setting her own fork down. "After all, I don't want him to end up like you – an unemployed drunken boor who doesn't even have the nerve to stand up to his union."
Severus could have cursed his mother at that second. His instinct of self-preservation kicked in, and before his father could bellow anything or flip the table, he got up and darted up the stairs, slamming his door shut. Once he heard the lock click, he slumped against his door, sliding down the worn wood until he rested against the cheap carpet.
They're going to fight again, and I'll have to hear it… and either Father will scare Mother into a cowering fit, or Mother will stand up to him and throw him out… and from how she was behaving tonight, I wouldn't be surprised if the latter happens…
Despite himself, he felt a powerful rush of loathing towards both his parents. He despised his father's mediocrity, his drunken temper, his lack of self-control, and his hatred of magic, but at the same time he detested his mother's caustic and intolerant attitude, sharp tongue, and a spinelessness that prevented her from ever leaving Tobias. Severus had been through sixteen years of fighting between the two of them, and most of the time, his father won handily.
There had been good times, but most of those times were long-gone. Now there was only bitter contempt and acrid disappointment on all sides.
Severus heard the thud of crashing furniture downstairs, and he heard his mother scream with fury to match his father's roar. He closed his eyes, and willed himself to sleep, if only to escape the despondent hell called Spinner's End.
She shoved her plate away and moved to get up, but her mother saw the sudden move and frowned.
"Come on, Lily, why won't you eat? You've barely touched your plate."
Lily shook her head. "I'm not hungry, Mum. Can't I just go to bed?"
"Lily, you've barely eaten," her father said sternly. "Why won't you eat? Ever since you got off that train, you've barely touched your food."
"Probably because it doesn't compare to the food she gets at her freak school," her sister Petunia put in snidely. "Nope, home's never good enough for Lily Evans."
The cutting retort was on her tongue, but she couldn't say it. Not to her sister. Not now. She wanted to scream out, tell her everything that had happened this year, everything that had gone wrong, but she couldn't. Petunia wouldn't understand.
Lily didn't even understand.
"Petunia, that's enough," her father said sternly. "If Lily doesn't want to talk about school, that's fine. But she does have to eat," her father added, giving her other daughter a concerned look. "Is the meat overcooked? I can never get pork right on the barbeque –"
"The food's fine, Dad," Lily said quietly. "It's… nothing. I'm just not hungry. May I be excused?"
"Will you sit awhile, just until dessert?" her mother asked, a hint of a plea in her voice. "Please, Lily, we hardly see you, and even if you don't' want to talk, I'd still like you at the table. You never know these days when you'll lose somebody." She gave her husband a sharp look, which he returned.
"Claire, there's nothing I can do about the job," her father said tiredly. "The IRA's been active again… blew up a bus today. You should have seen the wounded out of that mess. People were lucky to get out with their lives."
"But Richard, if the IRA ever find out that you're working on tracking them down, you could get into tremendous danger!" her mother said with worry in her voice. "I don't want to lose you, especially right now. You have a dangerous job."
"I know, dear," her father said with a tired smile. "Don't worry, I'll be fine… although I keep thinking that there's someone else behind this whole mess. Talked to a boy today who got off the bus… he seemed to know something, and he didn't seem to be the type that the IRA takes in." He gave his daughter a significant glance, but Lily didn't notice.
"You'll get a lead soon," Petunia said earnestly. "They can't be that hard to find with all of Scotland Yard looking for them."
"Harder than you think, Petunia," her father said seriously. "The more I look into this whole mess, the more I'm starting to think that there's more than one group involved in these bombings…"
"Now, Richard, you can't go chasing ghosts here," her mother said with a reproving air. "We know the IRA's responsible for the majority of this."
"I know, I know, but I just can't shake the feeling that there's another group involved," her father said moodily, stabbing at the last fragments of his pork with his fork. "Lily, you've been awful quiet. What do you think?"
What could she say? She knew very little about Muggle politics or the IRA? Hogwarts had her mind on other things, and it was busy enough there without any other complications.
The thought of Severus rose to the top of her mind, but she forced it back down. Not now, she thought, praying that she wouldn't start crying again.
Suddenly, a strange thought struck her – could those dark wizards that Severus was planning to join, the Death Eaters, be behind the Muggle bombings? It would make sense…
No, it doesn't, the rational part of her mind said. That would breach the Statute of Secrecy, and that would run against everything You-Know-Who has been preaching. It's probably just some other group of terrorists.
"Lily?" her father persisted. "Any thoughts?"
She slowly shook her head. "No, Dad. Sorry."
Her mother brought out dessert – strawberry cheesecake, made from scratch like always. She would normally have loved such a treat, but she felt sick to her stomach.
"Won't you have a bit of dessert, Lily?" her mother pleaded.
She stood abruptly. "Sorry, Mum. I'm really feeling sick right now. Can I just go?"
Petunia snorted with disgust, but her mother, after exchanging a concerned glance with her father, nodded.
She went up to her room, painted in a vibrant emerald green that her father had once painted as a joke, saying that the shade matched her eyes. Now she couldn't stand the colour, because it matched the house where he was, the house that had pulled him into the darkness...
Wrenching open her closet, she pulled out her jacket and pulled it on – it wasn't especially warm that night, and it might start drizzling again. Heading back downstairs, she slid out the front door and walked towards the playground.
The night was dark, but she could barely see the stars. She missed Hogwarts – at least there you could look out the window and see the beautiful corona of the night sky. But not where they lived… the lights of the city blotted out nearly everything above it.
She climbed over the fence and trudged towards the old swing set. Most of the swings were broken now, the cheap rubber cracked or snapped altogether. The slide was dented and nearly clean of paint, and the see-saw's hinges squealed loudly whenever someone had the guts to get on it.
She swallowed hard, the memories coming back hard, but she choked back the tears. She couldn't think of them right now. Not here… I'm almost there anyways…
It was only a few more steps to reach the small stand of trees, and between them was a patch of ragged grass worn smooth from years of quiet, private conversation.
She had to clench her fist and close her eyes to hold back the tears now. She stepped into the private place, all sounds of the city seeming to fade in the quiet tranquility brought upon by nature.
She leaned against the smooth trunk of the tree, sliding down the wood until she was resting on the damp grass. Her finger traced over a marking deeply etched in the trunk, encircled by a heart.
SS & LE
Her finger encountered a rough edge as she traced the old mark, and she noticed, to some degree of surprise, that the tree had begun to wither. Where there was once untainted wood, there was now a deep crack running the length of the tree, right through their mark.
She closed her eyes again, but there was no stopping the tears now. She tried to will herself to sleep, if only to escape the confused hell that was her own emotions.
Severus's hand closed on his wand the second he awoke. I know I heard that noise…the window!
He got up from where he had passed out by the door and wrenched open the window, letting the beautiful snowy owl that he knew belonged to Narcissa Malfoy into the room. The owl had a heavy package, and Severus smiled, despite himself – he knew exactly what that was. She's serious about me cleaning up… well, at least someone has faith in me.
He tore open the package as the owl flew off, and his smile only got wider as he saw the little, yet thick book: Do-It-Yourself Hair-Care Potions. With a lurid lavender binding, it was certainly no book that Severus would have picked out, and he took great care in shoving it under his bed, where he kept all the books he didn't want his mother to see when she was cleaning.
He tore open the letter and read:
Severus,
I never got the chance to give you a proper send-off after the party last night, so I consider this it. It's almost a respite that I can write to somebody sensible – things have been insane around here, but I'll get to that later.
First of all, be careful with this book. These potions have to be made extremely carefully; otherwise your results will not be what you want. One reason that a lot of witches and wizards buy their hair-care potions: they don't want to screw up the brewing process. But as you are the most brilliant potions student in our year, I don't think you'll have a lot of trouble (although you might want to avoid tinkering with the recipes at first!).
I got an owl from Regulus about Sirius. Turns out it wasn't a good night all around for the Black family – Andromeda bolted last night too. To tell you the truth, I knew it was only a matter of time, but the double blow wasn't pleasant at all. Bellatrix is now at Rodolphus', and the only reason I'm not at Lucius' is his plan – it'd look suspicious. Don't know where Andromeda went – presumably to the Mudblood Tonks' house – but I was never really close to her anyway. Not like Regulus and Sirius…
Anyway, this morning was not pleasant for anyone. Three names were blasted off the Black tree – there was a ceremony and everything (I didn't want to attend, but I had no choice). My wayward sister, Sirius, and Walpurga's brother Alphard – apparently the idiot gave Sirius a huge amount of gold from some overseas investments. Trust Sirius to figure out something like that… clever git.
In any case, I know Lucius told you about the plan, and I feel obliged to tell you that it was my idea. It only makes logical sense, and the more you clean up the better it looks. Rosier is pursuing me with intensity, and I need something to stall my father. As of now, you're an unknown quantity, and that gives me more time – at least he won't be able to marry me off before I get to Hogwarts (that could have happened, you know).
Now, about this relationship (I use the word 'relationship' in the loosest sense, because we know this really a business arrangement). We need to be convincing, and I have no problem with… well, open displays of affection on occasion, but you need to know I have boundaries. Of course, I know you have boundaries too (and other priorities, but we'll get to that), but we both know that nasty things can happen in the heat of the moment. I know Lucius already told you this, but we aren't going to be having sex any time soon (I feel so awkward talking about this with you, but it's got to happen – thank Merlin that this is in a letter!). Nearly anything up to it is okay, but if I feel uncomfortable, I will draw the line, and you know better than to step over it (hint: Lucius and Bellatrix will skewer you and feed you to chimaeras).
As to your other 'priority' (I will decline from mentioning her name), I have no problem if you continue your plans to pursue her, but it must remain secret. We can't have our 'relationship' looking less than moral, as you'll lose all of your credibility in a heartbeat. So, by all means, continue going after your 'priority', but be careful, and I will draw a line for you if you do anything stupid. Not out of spite or jealousy – it's just that I have more to risk here than you do (hint: I don't fancy my last name as Rosier).
Have a good summer, then. You don't have an owl, so I'll write you whenever I get a chance. Remember what I said about your 'priority'.
Regulus should be in touch.
Sincerely,
Narcissa
Severus reread the letter several times before shoving it under his bed with a snort. Most of the instructions Narcissa had given him were obvious advice, and there was little there that he didn't already acknowledge. I'm smarter than she gives me credit for, he thought darkly, pulling himself onto his bed. She'll need to acknowledge that if she wants this 'relationship' to work…
When he woke up a few hours later, his mind was set. For once, I'm not going to sit around and do nothing but read in my room this summer, he thought as he pulled on his newest (and best) Muggle clothes. Pulling his hair out of his face and resolving to try one of those hair-care potions as soon as he could afford the ingredients, he surveyed himself in the cracked mirror. Not bad... at least I look better than the average Muggle hoodlum.
His mother was long gone that morning, but his father was still at the table, drinking his coffee and reading the paper. His eyes were sunken and weary with hangover, and Severus immediately guessed where his father had gone after the argument.
"'Lo," Tobias muttered. "Aren't ye going to say hello to yer father?"
"Hello," Severus said warily and stiffly – his father had a mean temper when he was hung-over. He reached into the small basket of fruit and pulled free a pear. "I'm going out."
"That's new," Tobias said with narrowed eyes. "Ye never leave the house durin' the summer. What changed?"
Severus ignored the question as he checked his hair in the window reflection. "I'll be back later tonight. Don't wait up for me."
"But where are ye going?" his father asked, a note of genuine curiosity in his voice as Severus wrenched open the door.
"To do what you can't, father," Severus replied coolly as he stepped out the door. "I'm getting a job."
Then he slammed the door shut on his father's astonished expression.
