Title: Dropped

Rating: G

Summary: The natural balance of things is disturbed when too many clichés are permitted to run around Tortall unchecked. Can our heroine right the wrongs and save our favourite characters from the clutches of the rabid fangirls? Warnings for snark and Raoul without his pants.

A/N: Go check out the Goldenlake forums – fiefgoldenlake dot proboards dot com. Thank you to all my reviewers :)

....

Chapter 3

As soon as was possible, Raoul excused the both of them, citing the need to 'catch up' with one another.

He pulled her along the hallway, until he got to his quarters, and dragged her inside. Raoul walked over to his closet and pulled out a wineskin. He then sat down in front of Kat. "I am clearly missing something here. Are you another one of my father's bastards? Because I thought I'd met all of them, but if you're here for money-"

"I'm not actually from Goldenlake" interrupted Kat. "I'm definitely not related to you."

"Then who are you?" Raoul asked.

Kat hesitated for a moment. She really ought to have spent the carriage ride to Corus preparing a better backstory for when she arrived at Corus, rather than huddled in the corner of the carriage with a pillow over her head, to muffle the sound of Delia's voice. Instead, she was now facing the prospect of her cover being completely blown out of the water... unless... maybe she could tell Raoul the truth? She studied him for a moment. In the books, Raoul had seemed, well, the least unpredictable of all the characters. Alanna had already taught her though, that she couldn't rely on what she thought she knew.

Throwing care in the wind, Kat decided to jump straight in. "My name is Kat, and well.. I'm not from Tortall. Truthfully I'm not even from this world. "

Raoul sat still for a moment, then peered into his wineskin. "Perhaps Douglass put some hallucinogenics in my wine again?" he mused. "I could have sworn I heard you say you were from another world."

Kat snatched the wine skin away from him. "You're not hallucinating, and I'm not insane. I was dropped in here from another time and place to fix things. Haven't you noticed that things around here have been, well, odd for the past six years? Since Thom of Trebond became a page, for instance."

Raoul stared at her blankly. "No."

"Well, things are out of order," snapped Kat. "And now I'm supposed to fix them."

Raoul reached for the wineskin hidden under his pillow. "If you're not even from this time, how do you know that anything's wrong? Do you even know anything about Tortall?"

"I know lots of things!" protested Kat.

"Like what?" Raoul wanted to know, as he took a large swig of wine.

Kat wracked her brain. "I know you're really good with your lance."

Raoul looked at her suspiciously. "Is that supposed to be some kind of euphemism?"

"Give me that". Kat snatched the wine skin off Raoul. "And no. I just... know it, ok. I read it in a book!"

Raoul started chortling. "You're telling me that someone wrote a book about me? Oh come on, did Gary put you up to this?" He pulled a wineskin out of his pocket and began to drink.

Kat smacked him on the side of the head. "If you're going to drink this early in the morning, at least make sure its high-quality stuff!" She confiscated the wine. "No one put me up to this. But someone wrote a book and you were in it." She sniffed the win. "God this is awful stuff. But Raoul, I need your help. I think I'm on some kind of quest, and I can't do it without help." She paused, serious for a moment. "Raoul, we can do this together. We'll save the world, one cliché at a time. What do you say?" Kat held out her hand for him to shake.

Instead, Raoul howled with laughter. "You-me-world? BA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" He rolled on the floor with laughter, clutching his stomach, eyes streaming. Irritated, Kat kicked him in the shins, but it made no difference.

Eventually, Raoul finished laughing enough to continue the conversation. "I'll help you out with whatever you need, but only because you are so amusing. I'll play along with your and Gary's game." He winked. "Now, where do we start?"

- - - -

Later that night, Kat was waiting up the top of the grand staircase with Raoul, waiting to be presented to the Court. Kat had dredged up a nice enough dress from another Court lady with Alanna's help. Alanna, being the epitome of feminine perfection that she was, had also helped Kat do her hair and makeup in the latest fashion.

Alanna looked absolutely ravishing in a sheer violet ballgown that left little to the imagination. It had the biggest puffed sleeves Kat had ever seen, and a neckline so low it reached Alanna's bellybutton. It was also completely backless.

"What do you think?" Alanna asked breathlessly.

Kat thought for a moment. "Its very ah, unique."

Alanna smiled prettily. "In just a few short moments, I will be the belle of the ball!" She twirled around a few times for good measure.

At that precise moment, the herald called Kat's name.

- - - -

As she descended the staircase, Kat looked around. The throne room was impressive, yes... but she'd seen better. Finally, she and Raoul reached the bottom of the staircase, and walked towards the two thrones in the centre of the room. Raoul was oddly confident, though Kat was so preoccupied that she didn't notice. When they came to the thones, she curtseyed to the King and Queen.

As Kat rose, Raoul quickly grabbed the side of her face, bringing her close to his mouth. As Kat realised what he was about to do, she desperately tried to writhe out of his grip, but to no avail. Raoul planted a giant, wet, slurpy kiss straight on her mouth. For good measure, he grabbed her butt and pulled her close to him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Raoul released her. Triumphantly, he looked over to Gary, where the young knight was standing, like the rest of the Court, silent and horrified. "Ha ha Gary. My sister. Right.".