hey guys, sorry i haven't updated, i went on holiday... and this is a pretty short chapter, but i promise you a long one next time! :) big shocker at the end of this chapter. and i'm sorry if i offend anyone's values and beliefs. :) i love your reviews! :):)


10. Stay With Me.

Haley lay in her bed, replaying her and Nathan's last conversation.

--

'You're still wearing your ring.' Nathan said quietly.

'Uhm… yeah, it's a good thing to get rid of other guys. You don't get approached by stupid old men.' Haley tried to laugh.

Nathan turned to face Haley. 'Is that the only reason you wear it?'

Haley gulped as she felt a tear run down her cheek. She fiddled with the ring on her finger, not daring to look at Nathan.

'Hales, are you still not over Lucas?' Haley felt Nathan's big blue eyes piercing into her, searching for answers.

Haley said nothing.

'Haley, it's been two years.'

'You think I don't know that Nathan? Do you think I've forgotten about it?'

'No Haley I was just saying, you're not engaged anymore.'

'I'm not stupid Nathan. Do you think I could get over him and move on straight after everything happened?'

'No Haley, don't get mad. I was just wondering.'

'Nathan please. There isn't a day I don't miss him. I don't know why I don't take my ring off. I just can't! I feel like if or when I do, I will be completely letting go, and I'm not sure if I want to do that. I feel guilty for thinking about taking the ring off, as if I would be letting Lucas down. There is not a day I don't sit and think 'What if.' What if he hadn't died? I might have had a child!' Haley's voice completely cracked on child. She couldn't take it anymore.

She walked out the room, just as she heard Nathan whisper 'I'll always be here for you.'

--

Haley quickly jumped out of bed and walked to Nathan's room. She slowly opened the door and peered inside.

'Nathan?' she whispered. 'Are you awake?'

She heard Nathan turn over and grumble, but she knew he was still sleeping.

She picked up some socks on the floor and threw them at him. then she picked up a pillow and hit him with it, giggling when he swatted at her.

--

11 years ago.

'Nathan?' Haley whisper shouted, sitting down on his bed. 'Nathan wake up!'

She tapped him on the head. Nothing. So she picked up a pillow and hit him with it.

Nathan moaned and stretched. 'Haley? What are you doing here?' he whispered, then checked the time. 'It's three in the morning.'

'I know. I need you.'

'How did you get in here?' Nathan grumbled, pulling the sheets back so Haley could get into the bed bedside him.

'I came through the window.'

'So why do you need me?'

'I'm scared the clowns are coming to get me.'

'What?'

'There are clowns coming to get me.'

'And why would you think that?' Nathan pulled Haley in for a hug.

'Because I watched this film with mom and dad and the clowns were after everyone.'

'Hales, you are nine. You shouldn't be scared of clowns anymore.'

'I know. Can I stay with you?'

'Of course.'

--

'Nathan?' Haley spoke slightly louder, choking back the tears. Nathan grunted in response. 'I need you.'

Nathan heard Haley's voice crack. He could tell this was serious. He gently pulled back the sheets and let Haley crawl into his bed.

She lay staring at the ceiling for a while. Nathan heard her sniffing and wiping her eyes.

'Hales…come here.' Nathan opened his arms and Haley moved straight into them, sobbing again. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he was ready to listen when she was ready to talk. He just had to be there for her just now.

Haley cried into Nathan's chest. She was so happy that he was there for her.

She knew the time was now. She needed to tell Nathan the real truth. She needed to share the weight that she had been carrying around with her for the last two years. The guilt, the pain, the 'what-might-have-beens' and the anger. The real reason she stopped feeling anything.

'Nathan…' Haley whispered, her voice barely recognisable. 'There's something I need to tell you.'

Nathan sat up in the bed and reached for the bedside lamp switch. Haley stopped his arm.

'I'd prefer it if it was dark.' She whispered.

'Ok Hales, what's wrong. You know you can tell me anything.'

'Well, I did a bad thing Nathan. I did a really really bad thing. Two years ago, after Lucas died. I did the unforgivable.'

'I don't understand Haley. What could you have done that was so unforgivable?'

Haley ran her hands through her hair, looking into Nathan's big blue eyes.

'I got an abortion.'


so, you'll understand why i apologised for possibly offending anyone. i understand everyone's different views on abortions and i realise that it is definitely not everyone's solution. i hope you will still read on and hopefully after the next chapter you will understand why haley did what she did. :):)