Author's Note: Wow. That's the only thing I can say after reading all those reviews. Suffice to say, it was rather cruel of me to leave you on a cliff-hanger, so you get this nice followup chapter that explains Lupin's predicament and concludes Severus' summer. Yes, you will see Lily in this chapter. No, Lily is not Roxanne in disguise. And as much as a Severus/Roxanne story would be entertaining, that's not the current direction planned for this fic... In any case, the next chapter will be a long time in coming - I have exams, and I'm not going to write anymore until after I'm finished them, which will be in two or three weeks. But until next time, read, review, and enjoy!
"Doubt you can guess who I saw at work today," Petunia sneered as she slid through the door, tossing her apron on a coat hook.
Lily rolled her eyes as she flipped a page in her new copy of Advanced Potion-Making. "I don't especially care, Petunia," she replied in an irritated voice.
"I saw your old friend," Petunia said smugly.
Lily didn't look up from the page, even though her heart was pounding. "Oh?"
"I saw Severus," Petunia said snidely, sitting down on the couch in the sitting room across from Lily's rocking chair. "And he wasn't alone either."
"Was his dad with him or something?" Lily asked with exasperation, snapping her book closed and glaring at her older sister. "I heard he was out of work – what would he be doing in your little café? They don't exactly have the money to spare."
Petunia shook her head with the air of someone delicately holding a massive bombshell in her hands. "Nope," she said with a wide smile. "It appears your little Snape boy has moved on – he was with a girl."
Lily froze. It didn't make sense – Severus with a girl, likely Muggle? "Who?" she blurted.
Petunia scowled. "Some stupid bint named Roxanne – she went to my school in your year, and she's working at the new athletics store that was built last spring. You know, the one who I told everyone about, the girl who was trying out for the track & field team."
Lily's eyes narrowed. "What would Severus be doing with her?"
Petunia's grin grew wider. "Are you jealous, Lily?"
She felt her face go pink. "I'm not jealous, I'm just rather astounded that Severus would go out with a Muggle girl – presuming they are even going out." She glared at her sister, who was still wearing a smug smile. "Knowing you, you'd probably just lie to make my life miserable! Really, Tuney, how low can you sink?"
Petunia lost her smile in an instant. "I'm not lying! It was Snape, and he left with Roxanne at the café. I almost didn't recognize him, but you could see the grease in his hair from a mile away."
She felt her hands clench into tight fists. "Petunia, don't insult people you don't understand."
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I intrude on your little freaky magical world?" Petunia snapped, getting to her feet with a huff. "I know what I saw, and just because you haven't ventured into civilization all summer doesn't mean I'm wrong." And with that, she stalked out of the room, leaving Lily alone with her frustration.
She's lying, Lily thought furiously, flipping open her book and aimlessly scanning pages. Severus couldn't have found a girl, much less someone like that Roxanne. I mean, from everything that Petunia's said about her, the girl's a total head-case, and her family's no better!
Sounds like she's be perfect for Snape, by your judgment, then, the snide voice in her head that had tormented her all summer commented. He's finally found his soul-mate… at least until he gets to Hogwarts. It's not like you're going to take her place…
Lily slammed her book shut and strode blindly out of the room into the kitchen. Her parents were both asleep – Lily had been staying up later and later over the course of the summer, so other than Petunia, she was the only one left awake in the house. Wrenching open the fridge, she scanned the back shelves for something to eat or drink…
Her hand froze over a large, glass bottle. She thoughtfully pulled it out and scanned the label. This must be the gin that Mum's keeping for the police summer party… surely it couldn't hurt to take a swig…
A second later, though, she shoved the bottle back in the fridge, closing it resolutely. I'm not using alcohol, no way. It's stupid, it's risky… and Severus would hate me if I did it.
And since when do you care what he thinks? the voice in her head remarked snidely. You're over him, remember?
Lily didn't even know how to answer that question. For nearly all of the past few weeks she had kept to herself, ignoring her parents and her sister, absorbed in her books. Her mother had delicately suggested a few times that Lily get a job, but she had ignored those suggestions too. Slowly she had been growing more and more introverted, absorbed in her books… just like Severus had been.
She shook her head hard and strode furiously out the kitchen, only to come face-to-face with the hallway mirror. Her eyes widened as she saw her reflection. Her auburn hair was tousled and strewn all around her head. Her normally bright eyes were shadowed, and no traces of makeup marked her face. Her skin was incredibly pale – she rarely saw the sun anymore – and she could immediately tell by the looseness of her shirt and skirt that she had lost weight.
Good god, I look like shit, Lily thought, appalled by how utterly ragged she appeared. If Severus saw me, he'd probably check me into St. Mungo's! Let alone what Potter would say…
And since when did you care what either of those two think? You're your own person – you can do whatever the hell you want, the snide voice spat. But of course, you are still concerned about what dear Severus thinks, aren't you?
Lily shook her head and turned away from the mirror. Retrieving her book from the sitting room, she made her way up to her room. That's enough. I need to pull myself together before school – I don't want to look like a total hag before I go back, I might embarrass some of the Slytherin girls. And Severus and I are through, and there's no getting around that. He could go out with a hundred girls – frankly, I doubt that possibility – and I wouldn't care less. If he's trying to make me jealous, he's got another thing coming. I don't need him or Potter or any of those boys…
But even as she thought this, she couldn't deny the hot surge of rage she had felt when she had heard Petunia's snide voice.
Severus cautiously approached the werewolf on the bench. "He shouldn't even be here – I thought he lived farther north, and as far as I know, none of his friends live nearby."
"He looks like he's freezing," Roxanne said with concern. "What do you think we should do? I mean, we should do something. Isn't he a friend of yours or something, Severus?"
Severus clenched his hand into a fist. No, Remus Lupin was not his friend – he was a Marauder, a member of the group that had made his life a living hell. Even though Lupin had not participated in as many devilish pranks as Potter and Black had, he hadn't intervened to stop them, and he had often laughed along with them.
And despite himself, Severus couldn't exactly forget that night he had crept beneath the knot of the Whomping Willow, heading up the secret passage way towards where Lupin would eventually transform. In retrospect, he could never understand why he had been so idiotic to have taken Black's dare and followed the werewolf. It had been a miracle that he had escaped the encounter alive. Thanks to… Potter, Severus thought darkly, his mind burning with resentment at the memory.
All in all, Severus knew he didn't loath Lupin in the same way he hated Black or Potter, but he still disliked the Gryffindor werewolf, lycanthropy and all.
"Severus?" Roxanne persisted. "We're going to help him, right? He's our age, he goes to your school – he shouldn't have to be in a state like this."
"I want to know why he's here, first," Severus said coolly, leaning close and roughly shaking Lupin's shoulder. "Lupin! Wake up!"
The young werewolf moved fast – incredibly fast. Before Severus could pull himself away, Lupin had wrenched him close and set a wand to his throat. "Who do you serve?" he growled, in a voice that Severus found disturbingly feral.
"I don't serve anyone but myself, Lupin," Severus said quickly in a low voice, his eyes blazing. "Now put your wand away before you break the Statute of Secrecy – there's a Muggle here."
Lupin's wand vanished and he pushed Severus away, pulling himself into a sitting position. Roxanne's startled expression faded, and was quickly replaced by disdain.
"Well, I guess I see why Severus was skeptical about helping you, if you're going to behave like a crazy person," she said coolly.
"Sorry," Lupin muttered, running his hands through his unkempt hair. "It's been… a trying few weeks for me, to say the least."
Severus turned to Roxanne. "You should get home – Lupin and I need to talk about something that directly concerns us."
Roxanne looked affronted. "Excuse me? I'm not leaving you – besides, if I go home, that twat will probably be waiting for his little date with me."
"Can I at least have some, well, privacy, then?" Severus asked, grasping at straws. I can't break the Statute of Secrecy and put our world at risk… even if Roxanne has helped me in the past, she still can't know. "Just sit on one of the benches by one of the working lights, and I'll be over there as soon as I clarify a few issues with Lupin here."
Roxanne blew out a long breath. "Should I even ask what's going on?"
Severus fixed her with a steely gaze. "You don't want to know. You really don't."
She met his gaze, and after a tense few seconds, she finally sighed. "I'll be within eyeshot," she said tiredly, and shaking her head with confusion, she walked towards a nearby bench.
"Is she…"
Severus turned and fixed Lupin with a scathing glare. "Is she what?"
"Is she your girlfriend?" Lupin blurted, flushing crimson. "Sorry, I wouldn't have thought it of you to take up with a Muggle –"
"She's not my girlfriend… I don't even know if I could consider her a true friend… look, that's not the point, Lupin!" Before the werewolf could react, Severus had a grip on his collar. "Tell me why the hell you are here and not with Potter or Black or… or hell, with Pettigrew, for all I care!"
"I've been on foot," Lupin spat in a biting tone. "I couldn't even flag the Knight Bus."
Severus nodded in understanding. "There was some kind of accident a few weeks ago, so they took it in for repairs – Regulus Black told me about it."
Lupin gave Severus a sharp look. "You've been in contact with Sirius' brother?"
"A bit," Severus replied evasively, "but you're evading the question. Why the hell are you even here?"
Lupin glared at Severus. "I don't think I can trust you not to betray me, so you're not getting an answer."
"Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Lupin, I'm trying to find out what happened!" Severus growled furiously. "The least thing you could do is trust that I'm not going to hand you over to… to whoever is chasing you."
"Even if there was a reward involved?" Lupin spat. "I've been double-crossed once already, so I'm quite aware of that possibility."
Severus gave Lupin an exasperated look. "I have no desire to incur the additional wrath of Sirius Black and James Potter for betraying their pet werewolf. They make my life hell as it is."
Lupin seemed to think this through. Finally, he looked up at Severus, a haunted look on his face. "I'm being hunted."
Severus let go of Lupin's collar as a frown crossed his face. "I thought the hunting of magical creatures was banned by the Ministry."
"It's more complicated than that," Lupin said softly. "Have you ever heard of Fenrir Greyback?"
Severus shivered, despite himself. The brute had been legendary in Slytherin – the one responsible for keeping incidents quiet and people's mouths shut. Unfortunately, Greyback had also been a loose cannon in school, dangerous to anyone and everyone around him. Barely graduating from Hogwarts (his Outstanding Care for Magical Creatures N.E.W.T. pulling him through), Greyback had promptly vanished into the shadows. Nobody's heard from him since, especially considering the rumours that his family disowned him…
"I've heard of him… never had the misfortune of meeting him," Severus said carefully. The statement was not entirely untrue – Severus had never had the misfortune of being one of the people Greyback silenced. I was smarter than that. Besides, he had left Hogwarts before I even came.
"You remember hearing that he vanished out of Hogwarts, that his family disowned him?"
Severus nodded.
"Well, his family didn't disown him – they gave him a sack of Galleons and told him to get out the country, to see the world and hopefully not cause any more trouble at home," Lupin continued bitterly. "Where he went, nobody really knows, but the rumours are dark. One says that he went into Siberia. Another says he didn't go that far inland, only across through Germany into old Transylvania. One rumour even says that he went to Vietnam."
Severus' eyes widened. "You're kidding me - that country was a war zone!"
"All the more attractive to him," Lupin muttered. "But it doesn't matter where he went – he's back in England now for good, and he's been causing quite a stir."
"Regulus hasn't mentioned anything to me about Greyback," Severus said suspiciously. "Nor has Narcissa."
"Since when have you been in contact with Narcissa Black?"
"It's not important, Lupin, and I'm asking the questions here! Why haven't we heard anything about this?"
"Because the Ministry has been keeping everything hushed – they know the Daily Prophet would love to get their grimy little hands on this story," Lupin said grimly. "Only Crouch, the Minister, and the higher-ups know about this one, and they're all sworn to secrecy. Anyway, Greyback's a werewolf now, and he's thrown his lot in with You-Know-Who."
Severus' mouth fell open. Well, it's not a surprising development, but it is shocking that Greyback would become a werewolf. It had to have been an accident – he wouldn't want his family to disown him formally…
Lupin grimaced. "You're as shocked as I am, I can see. What's worse is that Greyback took the bite of his own free will. He's amassed quite a bit of power in the werewolf community, and he's trying to get them to throw their lot in with You-Know-Who. So far, it's working pretty well. His other goal involved the corralling and brainwashing of all his spawn – the kids he's bitten on his few trips back home during his travels, and any other young werewolf he finds."
Severus' eyes narrowed. "How long has he been a werewolf? The timeframe seems skewed somewhat… he must have been very busy infecting people."
"Apparently longer than any of us expected, because the children he's going after are in their teens – a few homeschooled wizards, but mostly Squibs and Muggles. Anyway, someone leaked the information to the Ministry that Greyback's on the loose in England. They've been keeping the news hushed up because they don't want to start a panic, but privately, they've authorized the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to start an in-depth investigation."
Severus could barely keep the disgust of his face. "So the Ministry started a propaganda war?" Like that's going to do much.
Lupin shook his head. "If that was the only thing they were doing, I wouldn't be here. They've also started rounding up young werewolves and taking them into 'controlled sections' of the Ministry, even ones that are already registered with the Department. The feeling among the older werewolves is that the young are being culled – slaughtered. Greyback's playing on that fear."
Severus rolled his eyes. "The Ministry's not that stupid –"
"I only got out of my house a few minutes before Department members broke down the door in the middle of the night with silver chains and collars," Lupin growled. "I don't know what they're playing at, but when werewolves see that, they automatically begin hating the Ministry – and listening more to what Greyback has to say. My parents were taken in for questioning about my whereabouts, and though they were released, the Ministry is still watching them, and if they have a brain in their heads they're undoubtedly watching Sirius' and James' houses too. I've been on the run from Greyback and the Ministry ever since."
Severus let out a slow breath. Damn, this is just what I need – more complications. "How long have you been on the run?"
"About three weeks."
Damn, longer than I thought. "And you still haven't answered my question: why the hell are you even here?"
Lupin flushed. "I thought that if I found where Lily lives, she might have Floo powder so I can call Dumbledore, and if I remember correctly, she said she lived close to this area."
Bloody wonderful, this keeps getting better and better. "I… well, I don't think you want to do that," Severus said finally, standing up and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Lupin looked confused. "What?"
"You heard me. If we sneak in quickly enough, we can make the call from my place."
Lupin frowned. "I thought Lily once said that your Floo connection was shut down."
"That," Severus said icily, "turned out to be a lie that I never cared enough to verify until recently. And why was she even talking about my Floo connection around you?"
"Mainly because she was telling James and Sirius off last Christmas, when they were planning on Banishing a large pile of horse manure through the Floo Network and out your fireplace as a holiday gift," Lupin said with a disgusted sigh. "Frankly, that really does cross the line."
Oh, you think only that crosses the line, you cowardly flea-bitten bastard, Severus thought furiously as he restrained his impulse to throttle the werewolf. Instead, he clenched his fist and concentrated on Lupin's unkempt appearance. "And who are you planning to call or visit?"
"Dumbledore," Lupin said, rubbing his unshaven jaw. "I don't have an owl and I can't create Portkeys or Apparate, so I haven't been able to contact him. The Floo Network's my only real option."
"Fine, then let's get this over with," Severus said matter-of-factly.
"You know, if it's that much of a hassle, you could always just direct me to where Lily lives," Lupin said rather crossly. "She's bound to have Floo powder and –"
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"Exactly what I said," Severus replied sharply. The last thing I need is my surprise spoiled early by having to drag you to her place, and if Roxanne comes with us, it would only get… complicated.
"Why?" Lupin challenged. "I know you two had a fight, but surely you'd like to see her again!"
Severus knew uncomfortably that Lupin was right on that – he did want to see Lily again. "Let's just say that it would be safest if you make the call from my house. After all, you didn't want to endanger Potter or Black by using their fires – wouldn't it be likely that the Ministry is monitoring all of your former housemates?" If I play to his paranoia well enough, he might just believe me.
Lupin looked wary. "You think that's possible? Wouldn't they come to investigate you in the same case?"
Severus scoffed. "Why? Our Floo network is barely used anymore, and even if they are tracking you, I can just say that you broke in while I was at work, a perfectly plausible explanation. By then, you'll be safe with the Headmaster and out of my concern."
Lupin still looked uncertain. "Sounds easier than it is…"
"The best solutions are often simple, werewolf," Severus said coolly.
"What are you going to do with your little girlfriend?" Lupin said, his eyes narrowing. "She doesn't know about our world, I'm assuming?"
"She's not my girlfriend!" Severus snarled. "She's a friend who's a girl and who likes making passing jabs at my mediocre personal fitness level – happy? Tell Potter that when he asks for his daily 'Snivellus Update'!"
"I was only asking a question, calm down," Lupin said in a consoling tone. "What are you going to do with her?"
"I was doing her a favour by taking her out tonight, and despite your presence, I'd rather not have to force her to go home and face that twit who keeps pestering her," Severus said, thinking fast. "I'll keep her out of the house while you make your little call to Dumbledore. You'll have ten minutes – it's late enough so my parents are likely still asleep, but keep quiet just the same – my father likes to shoot first and ask questions later."
"All right, then," Lupin said finally, rising to his feet. "I can't believe you're actually helping me here, Snape. I never would have thought it of you. After last year…"
Severus clenched his jaw. "Just because I'm in Slytherin and have an interest in the Dark Arts does not mean I'm not decent, Lupin. Pity you and the rest of your damned Marauders never realized that. And no wizard – werewolf or not – deserves to be corralled like a beast." He turned to where Roxanne was sitting and waved. Almost as if she were waiting for that exact second, she rose to her feet and jogged over.
"Finished your little heart-to-heart?" she asked coolly.
"Yes," Severus replied shortly. "He's going to make a quick call at my house before sneaking out the back – he's got a special rendezvous planned."
Roxanne frowned. "I'm just going to assume you know what you're doing, because I sure as hell don't. Does that mean I'm not going home just yet?"
"I don't go back on my promises," Severus replied sharply. "Even if…" He threw a short glare at Lupin. "Even if inconveniences get in the way."
When Lupin had slipped inside Severus' house and quietly shut the door behind him, Roxanne turned to Severus, an expression of mingled disappointment and anger crossing her face.
"Care to tell me what you've been hiding all this time, Severus?"
Severus ran a hand through his hair with frustration. "Roxanne…. I can't. It's honestly something that I'm not allowed to tell you about."
"How many laws are you breaking?" Roxanne asked, his whisper loaded with scorn. "I thought you were better than the rest of the scum that lives around here, Severus. Hell, I almost thought you had something going for you. Maybe you just played me for a fool."
"It's not like that!" Severus replied, his low voice still heated. "And besides, you were the one who said that I should help Lupin!"
"Yeah, well, apparently you two are just partners in crime!" Roxanne hissed. "What are you smuggling? Weed? Coke? Hash? Guns?"
"I'm not smuggling anything," Severus growled. "Nor am I breaking any laws." Well, that's not technically true, but I'm not breaking any of her world's laws, so it works after a fashion.
"Then what's so secret?" Roxanne asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can't be anything that serious."
If only you knew, Severus thought, looking inside quickly through the drawn curtains. From the motion of the shadow, Lupin was hunched by the fire. I'm only giving him a few more minutes before I'm going in and throwing him through the Floo myself.
Aloud, he turned back to Roxanne. "Look, you know Petunia's younger sister, right?" he asked, his mind frantically inventing a cover story.
Roxanne nodded suspiciously. "Goes to some school up north, and you never really see her much. Hell, I haven't seen her all summer!"
Maybe she's just on holidays. That would actually make a degree of sense, if she wants to get away… "Well, both Lupin and I go to that same school. That's why you haven't seen us."
"But why on earth would you go to some school up north with the local high so close?" Roxanne asked angrily. "There's nothing wrong with…" Her voice trailed off as she looked towards the house.
Severus quickly threw a glance at the house, thinking that she might have seen a flicker of green flame, evidence that Lupin had escaped. "What?"
"You don't like living at home much, do you?" she asked quietly.
Severus was caught a bit off-guard by this question. "Not especially… why?"
"It's just that I've heard stories about some kids who don't want to live at home, so they… well, you know, up and enroll themselves at some school a long way off, just so they can get away," Roxanne finished rather lamely, colour filling her cheeks. "Sorry, Severus, I, uh, didn't know…"
Severus snorted. What an utterly ridiculous explanation. It makes more sense than the fact that I'm a wizard and go to a special school for magic! How many kids enroll themselves in a school away from home just to get away, especially at our age? It's ludicrous… "I can cope with my parents," he said carefully. "I just don't like to."
"And that Lily girl?"
"For her, it's more a problem with her sister," Severus replied cautiously. "And Lupin… well, he ran away. He didn't really have any other options."
Roxanne looked at Severus very strangely, as if she was seeing him in a new light. "You're… odd, Severus. I don't know how else I could describe you. I mean, that story about kids enrolling themselves almost makes sense when you consider how independent you are…"
That's because I am independent, and that story's a load of dragon dung. But I'll play along… for now.
"You know, I think one of the stories about those kids even had the government get involved," Roxanne mused with a mirthless chuckle. "Can you imagine that? Our government trying to help people? You'd think they'd stop the fighting between the unions and the mills first." She gave Severus a sideways glance. "Of course, I should really ask: did the government help you... well, leave?"
Severus nearly snorted in disdain. The Ministry, doing something like that? They don't give a dragon's arse who goes to Hogwarts – we're just numbers to them most of the time anyways.
"No," he answered aloud. "The government didn't help me get to school."
Roxanne chuckled to herself as she checked her watch. "Can't say I'm surprised. It's getting late – I don't think that that stupid arse will try coming around tonight."
"Do you need an escort home?"
Roxanne scoffed. "What are you, my father? I'll be quite fine – I can outrun any bastard who comes after me." She turned and began walking towards the street. "Thanks for the help, Severus. I'll see you sometime this week."
As Severus watched Roxanne leave, he rubbed his eyes tiredly, a sick sense of revulsion in his stomach. In less than a month, I'm going to leave, and be another memory to her. I should tell her the truth – she shouldn't believe some cock-and-bull story she thinks she remembers because it's the only explanation that makes sense to her. If I'm… if I'm her friend – and that's a big 'if' in itself – she deserves to know the truth.
He sighed and shook his head as he pulled open the door to the house. The fire in the grate had sputtered – Lupin was long gone. Life gets so much more complicated when you actually care about other people.
It had been a long, frustrating afternoon, but Severus was triumphant. The collapsible cauldron in front of him was filled with potion – a potion that would make his hair sleek and clean-looking. It wasn't anything special by the standards of the potion book in front of him – Severus had seen a concoction in there that could make his hair stand on end and turn orange – but it was still a ridiculously finicky potion to get right.
Getting up from his spot on the floor, he flipped open the window, giving some of the pungent smoke room to escape. Snuffing the tiny burner with a quick blow, he cautiously poured the thick and viscous potion into his flask. He had only brewed enough for a few weeks – after all, he wanted to have time to change his mind before school started if he didn't like the results.
He wanted to try the potion, but prudence tempered his motion. I'll try putting some in my hair tomorrow – it's a Sunday, and I won't have to go in for work – and if it doesn't work, I'll still have time to wash it out. That should be good…
There was a sudden slam of a door, and Severus nearly jumped. He knew his mother was home; she hadn't left the house all day. That left his father…
Capping his potion quickly, he unlocked his door and bolted downstairs…
Only to see his father, gasping and clutching his leg in pain. Severus' eyes widened as he saw the livid bruises on Tobias' face and arms, and his nose was bleeding profusely.
"Tobias!" Eileen cried, running towards her husband. "What happened to you?"
"Just… don't touch, woman, I'm okay," Tobias muttered, staggering across the floor to his chair in the kitchen.
"Like hell you're okay, what happened?" Severus snarled, moving close to his father. "Did you get mugged?"
Tobias let out a coarse, bitter laugh. "I only wish… the protest today, well, the police were there this time… and it got ugly real fast…"
Eileen gasped, while Severus clenched his fist. Damn them… and damn Father's blasted union for sending him over there! They must have known the police would be there, how stupid are they?
Eileen pulled out a battered wand from her apron. "Tobias, let me help you with some of these cuts –"
But Severus' father recoiled. "Get that thing away from me, ye witch!"
"I'm only trying to help you!" Eileen protested, raising her wand a little higher.
"I don't need that kind of help!" Tobias roared, shoving his chair in front of him and glaring furiously at his wife. "I know what yer type do with those things…"
"Father, it can help," Severus said with exasperation. "It can help clean up those cuts at least, so they don't get infected. Didn't you tell me about that time when you were playing football, your foot got cut open and you didn't get it cleaned immediately? You nearly lost that foot from a blood infection!"
"Please, Tobias, let me just help –" Eileen stepped around the chair, but Tobias leapt backwards – and landed hard against a battered coffee table, his leg nearly giving way beneath him. The fear in his eyes was unmistakable.
"I don't want yer magic!" Tobias shouted with hatred. "I'll deal with it on me own!"
"It can help, Father, I'm living proof of that," Severus snarled back, stepping closer.
"But it can't help anything honest work can't do," his father spat. "I survived the war without magic! Three bloody years of hell, and where was yer magic then? Maybe Normandy would have fallen without me blood if yer magic was there, but it wasn't! Normal folk can't rely on yer magic – it's only for people too weak to carry their own weight!"
Severus clenched his jaw. He hadn't heard this argument before, but he didn't care. All his disgust for his father rushed back into him at the speed of sound – his stubbornness to accept help, his detesting of things he didn't understand, and his bitterness…
So isn't he just like YOU then?
The thought set him back on his heels. How was he different from his father? He was independent to the point of obstinacy, and he detested other people… mostly because he didn't understand why they behaved the way they did. And he wasn't about to deny that he was bitter…
He looked hard at his father's eyes, filled with rage and fear and was struck with a terrifying realization. My father doesn't hate magic because of Mother or me or anything else – he hates magic because it's something he can't understand, an entire world that Mother and I know, but he cannot. He hates it because he sees it as a crutch, one that will take away his freedom. He hates magic because he thinks it could have saved people during the war… that it could have saved him…
Severus closed his eyes, finally understanding the enigma that was his father, a man who married his mother before he knew she was a witch, a proud man striving to be his own person without any help, turned into a despondent and frustrated wreck because of circumstances beyond his control. He made mistakes, but he wants more out of his life. He can barely stand Mother because she doesn't understand why he's so angry and that he considers magic a sign of weakness. He's been getting along so well with me this summer because… because he's been seeing me succeed in a way he understands and can see, something he can take pride in helping to accomplish…
Eileen stepped closer to her husband. "Tobias," she said in a consoling voice, "let me help you."
"No," Severus said, snapping his eyes open and focusing on his mother. "He doesn't want it."
"But he's in pain!" Eileen snapped, her voice cold, but still filled with concern.
"And he wants to deal with it his way, not ours," Severus replied, as he stretched out a hand towards his father. "A hand up?"
Tobias's bruised hand dropped into Severus', and Severus pulled his father to his feet. "Thanks, boy," he muttered gruffly, staggering towards the table. "Mind getting me a pint?"
"You don't need that," Severus said, looking into his father's dark eyes. "It won't help, and it won't bring them back."
"I can still see their faces, boy," Tobias growled. "Dieppe and Normandy were the bad ones – you don't know war till you see their faces…"
"But it won't make the pain go away, will it?" Severus countered, his eyes blazing. "Will their faces disappear?"
"Don't talk about things ye don't UNDERSTAND!" Tobias roared, slamming his fist on the table.
"I might not know war, Father, but I do understand hell," Severus spat. "Trying to forget it won't make it go away. You raised me not to be a coward – well, try it yourself!"
And with that, Severus spun on his heel and stormed upstairs, slamming the door to his room behind him. His eyes were damp, but he didn't care.
I don't care what happens, I'm getting my father out of this mess if he can't do it himself, he vowed to himself as he dropped to his knees and began doing vigorous push-ups. After all he's helped me, he doesn't deserve this… he deserves a chance…
It wasn't until later that night, when both of his parents were asleep, that Severus went down for some food. Pulling open the fridge, he withdrew the leftover chicken from a few days earlier.
He spotted the case of beer with distaste. It took up a lot of room in the cheap fridge. Out of dark curiosity, he looked inside. Normally twenty-four in one of these cases, and Father's drunk five from this case so far…
His eyes widened as he saw the inside of the cheap cardboard box. I can't believe it… maybe something I said meant something to him after all.
He counted the bottles again, to be sure, before carefully closing the fridge and filling a glass of water for himself.
But he couldn't stop the small grin appearing on his face as he headed upstairs and remembered nineteen full beer bottles resting in the box.
He turned on the shower, wincing as the chill water spattered against his skin. Damn, that's cold! At least at Hogwarts we can get warm water now and then…
Resolving privately to fix the shower as soon as he came of age, Severus quickly scrubbed the greasy sweat off his arms and legs and shook out his hair. The thick mop of greasy black, now heavy with water, flopped in his face.
Finally, he bent and picked up the tiny vial filled with potion, his wet hands nearly slipping on the glass. Now, the book says only to use a teaspoon or two, depending on the condition of your hair, and to drip it onto your scalp and 'lather'. It also said to avoid getting it in the eyes… well, as most potions aren't good for the eyes, that's rather self-explanatory…
Popping out the cork with a quick twist and raising the vial above his head, he slowly dripped the potion down over his hair, wincing slightly at the hissing sound it made when it touched the greasy strands. Once the vial was empty of its two teaspoons of potion, Severus hesitantly raised his hands to his hair and began to scrub. He could feel the bubbles shift beneath his fingers and the rush of cool water, and he winced as the hissing sound grew louder.
A few tense seconds later, it was all over. Both the bubbles and the hissing were gone, but Severus kept his eyes tightly shut – he didn't want to find out what would happen if potion residue got in his eyes. Stepping blindly out of the shower – and nearly falling flat on his face – he grabbed a towel from the cracked counter and dried his hair vigorously.
Finally, when he felt his hair was dry, he opened his eyes and began drying the rest of his body. The mirror was smudged and fogged – rather surprising, given the lack of hot water – but Severus guessed it came from whatever steam was released when the potion worked on his hair.
Out of curiosity, he rubbed the glass with the edge of his towel.
He gasped when he saw his reflection.
His hair was no longer the sodden, oily mess that he typically had to deal with. Even as Severus gingerly touched his hair, he could feel the soft smoothness that the potion created. His hair was still long and fell around his face, but there was texture and a soft gleam to it that Severus had never seen before. In awe, he shook his head, watching as his hair fell around his face. It was straight as always, but no longer the thick oily matte black that he was used to.
I almost look… well, decent, he thought to himself. I know I don't have Black looks, but with my hair fixed… hell, it's not bad!
Feeling a rush of confidence he never had before, he quickly brushed his teeth and pulled on his work clothes. Though they were a bit small and didn't fit great around his broadening shoulders, Severus didn't care. He almost felt like a new man.
England, watch out, Severus thought to himself with a twisted smile, here comes the new and improved Severus Snape.
As he was walking past the sportswear store, he saw Roxanne hauling shoes out to tables in front of the store. She paused when she saw Severus cross the road towards her.
"Somebody looks like he's in a good mood," she remarked grumpily, dropping the Reeboks in her hand on the table.
"Is it really so obvious?"
"You're actually standing up straight," Roxanne replied with a smirk. "And you're smiling like the Lord Himself dropped a chest of crisp pounds right in front of you."
"Nothing that good, I assure you."
"Happy you're going back to school soon, I guess then," Roxanne said, pulling open another box and dropping another pair of shoes on the table. There was a hint of wistfulness in his voice. "It'll almost be a shame to see your august athletic presence leave our fair neighborhood…"
Severus smiled slowly. "I'll write, okay? And I'm not leaving for three weeks."
Roxanne let out a long-suffering sigh. "But it'll go by so quickly…"
He rolled his eyes. "I do need to get to work, Roxanne. Have fun selling shoes." Then, turning back towards the street and ignoring Roxanne's colourful suggestion of where she could insert said shoes, he headed towards his job.
It turned out that Roxanne was right – time did fly, and before Severus knew it, it was nearly time for him to go to Hogwarts.
He received his O.W.L. results in the mail two days after he tried the hair-care potion. It came by Muggle post, much to Severus' surprise – although he's wasn't ungrateful, for his father would have likely shot any owl that flew close to his house. Dumbledore must be shrewder than I thought… either that or Lupin tipped him off to it…
His results were as he expected: a smattering of 'E's across the majority of his subjects, with 'O's in Potions, Defense Against The Dark Arts, Arithmancy, and History of Magic. He kept these results to himself – his mother might care, but his father would only grunt and turn back to his paper. He felt a pang when he realized that he couldn't share his marks with Lily. We had talked about it so much, spent all that time preparing… and now we aren't even speaking…
The next weekend, he slipped off to Diagon Alley again and purchased the few books he needed – most of the Defense and Potions texts he had owned for over two years already. Much to his surprise, he didn't run into anyone he recognized on his trip. But then again, he thought to himself, most people don't like doing their shopping without their friends, and everyone procrastinates to the last minute… unlike me.
He was very relieved he didn't run into Bellatrix Black this time.
Between his training and work, Severus was amazed how quickly time seemed to pass. Before he knew it, it was Tuesday evening, and he was turning in his resignation to Rinston, who seemed a bit regretful to see Severus leave.
"You've been a good worker for me, Snape," Rinston said, leaning close across the counter. Severus nearly gagged at the tobacco stench of Rinston's breath, but he kept his eyes fixed on Rinston's shrewd gaze. "You kept quiet when you needed to be, and you were fairly agreeable to work with. I hope you come back."
Severus grinned, despite himself. "Thank you for your… kinds words, sir," he replied, taking the envelope filled with his final paycheck from his former employer. He turned to leave…
"Perhaps, if you return, you might take a bigger role in my business."
Severus froze. "A bigger role?" he blurted, shocked. Rinston always wanted me out of his way… now he thinks I can be trusted?
Rinston gave Severus an enigmatic smile. "Perhaps."
And with that, Severus left the pawn shop, confused and perplexed by his employer's strange offer. He quickly made his way home, ignoring the drunken catcalls from the rowdy boors along the side of the road.
"Oh, Severus?" a loud, rather familiar voice came from behind him.
Severus sighed tiredly and turned to see Roxanne jogging up behind him, a wide smirk on her face.
"You couldn't just wait to see me off in the morning, could you?"
"I could have, but I didn't feel like it," Roxanne replied, tossing her long ponytail out of her face. "Anyway, I have school tomorrow too. You will write, right, Severus?"
He frowned. That was a problem. How on earth was he supposed to stay in contact with Roxanne? I can't exactly use owl post, because she'd start asking questions… but on the other hand, I don't know if there's even access to Muggle post from Hogwarts. Who would I even talk to about that?
"Well, Severus?" Roxanne asked, a cool note in her voice.
He sighed. "Of course I'll write."
"Good, because I need something to do while evading the attention of all of those arrogant twits that infest my school like the plague," Roxanne replied shortly. "In any case, I hope you keep running – I'd hate to see all that hard work over this summer go to waste."
"Oh, shut up," Severus said with exasperation. "Of course I'll keep training." It'll be different, and it'll certainly raise some questions, but I can handle that. "Don't you have someone else to pester?"
Roxanne rolled her eyes. "You'd like to hope so, wouldn't you?"
"Not really, actually. Your company is actually rather more enjoyable than most of the idiots I associate with at school."
"You really know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?"
Severus snorted. "Me? I'm shocked and appalled I've descended to that level."
Roxanne smiled again. "Took you long enough."
"Oh be quiet. Anyway, I'm off to Kings' Cross early tomorrow, so I don't think I'll have a chance to see you and be graced with your annoying presence."
"The tragedy!"
Severus put his hand to his forehead. "Must you be so dramatic?"
"When it's this much fun, why not? A pity I'm never all too good with these long departures."
"And why would that be?"
"Well, what role am I supposed to play? The role of the lovely young damsel who waves her handkerchief at the dashing young warrior who rides off into the sunset?" Roxanne snorted. "Oh, please. For one, you aren't dashing – well, not enough to warrant a handkerchief wave anyway."
Severus rolled his eyes. "What do you want, then?"
"A hug would be pleasant, but I'll settle for a handshake."
Severus shook his head. "If I… hug you… will you go home?"
"Maybe, or I might just wail and beat my breast in front of your house until your parents come and drive me away with pitchforks." Roxanne smiled pleasantly. "So?"
Severus swallowed hard, and awkwardly gave Roxanne a hug, She chuckled with astonished pleasure as Severus fidgeted uncomfortably.
"God, you're bad at this."
"I'm not used to it, Roxanne. There's a difference."
"I take that back – you're embarrassingly bad at this."
"Oh, shut up. What am I doing wrong?"
"You're fidgeting, Severus. Am I really that boring?"
"No, I'm just not a hugging person!"
"Clearly. Well, at least now there's more to hug…"
Severus let go. Roxanne, however, did not.
"Roxanne?"
"Hmm?"
"You aren't letting go."
"And?"
"Well, why not?"
"Mostly to piss you off, really." Roxanne sighed contentedly. "Is it working?"
"Yes."
She finally let go and smiled. "I'll see you around, Severus." She turned away and began jogging away. Severus only watched as she jogged away, a small smile on his face.
I'll miss you, Roxanne. Thank you for the memories… and the friendship.
