Chapter Four

I woke up the next morning in my own bed and wondered how in the world I got there. I raised up my shirt and examined my stomach. The hives were still. My nightmare was my reality. It was comin' back. Sometime soon, I would start to change. Mood swings, brute strength, black outs, danger. . . .

My spine started shakin'. I clenched my jaw shut and tensed every muscle in my body fighting against the curse that lived inside of me. I tried not to panic as I took deep breaths through my nose. My body shuddered violently as the beast tried to take over my mind and body.

I swallowed back the vomit that was crawling up my throat. My head began to throb as my every thought became consumed with forcing the beast back into the innermost depths of my mind.

* * * *

I woke up even more tired than when I fell asleep. I blinked several times before the room came into focus. I scratched my head as I swung my legs out of the bed.

I put on some jeans and a t-shirt and reached for my cell phone. I groaned when I remembered what all had happened yesterday. I slowly trudged to the small kitchen to find something to eat.

"Good afternoon," Stephanie called in her stupid sing-songy voice. I poured myself a bowl of cereal as she babbled on. "Nice of you to come back from the dead and join us."

"Lucky me," I grumbled sarcastically. I brushed past her to the table with my bowl of Lucky Charms. She followed me.

"So, how did you find your way back to the cabin on your own?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"Just kinda wandered around until you found it?" she offered.

I shrugged again not even trying to disguise my dislike of her presence. She wasn't getting the hint. I was in a crappy mood and just wanted to be left alone. Couldn't she just give me that?

"Okay then. Well, your father and I are gonna go on another hike soon if you would like to join us. I'm sure he'd like that."

I kinda laughed and kept eating. Yeah, like he'd want anything to do with me right now.

"I really think he would. Some quality time with the whole family, it could really do us all some good."

Luckily, I ran out of cereal. I stood up and took my bowl to the sink. I could feel her eyes on my back as I went back into my room and closed the door.

I flopped down on the bed and tried to figure out what I should do. Suddenly, my head started poundin' so hard I thought it'd explode. All my muscles locked up and I felt I'd barf.

Then, just as abruptly as it started, the pain stopped. I sat up on the bed and put my hand on my head. I felt a little dizzy. I decided to go outside and get some air. I threw on my Vans.

I opened my door and walked outta my room. My dad was makin' out with Stephanie on the couch. I felt sick again. I slammed my door shut startling them both. I smirked when I saw Stephanie turning red and continued to the front door. "Where are you going?" My father demanded.

"Out," I replied opening the door. He shot off the couch behind me and slammed the door closed.

"No you're not. You're staying in here with us."

I released my grip on the doorknob and turned to face him. I glared intensely at him. I glanced behind him at Stephanie. "Why?" I demanded evenly.

He glared back at me. "Because I said so and because you need to spend some time with your step-mother and me."

I turned away from him and headed towards the back door. He grabbed my arm and spun me to face him again. I glared at his hand on my arm then into his eyes. I jerked my arm away.

"Boy you fix that attitude real quick if you know what's best for ya."

"I thought you were supposed to know what's best for me," I retorted.

I was suddenly stumbling backwards with my hand on my face. I heard Stephanie start screaming at Dad. It took me a second or two to realize that my dad hit me. He hit me! I stood stock still for a few moments watching the adults fight then, realizing this golden opportunity, bolted out the back door. I didn't know where I was going but anywhere was better than here.

* * * *

I continued breathing heavily through my nose, still clenching my sheets. Practically everything hurt and what didn't hurt, was numb. It had subsided about seven minutes ago, but I was still too scared to move. This was the worst it had ever done other than actually coming out.

I heard my mom's voice call for me from down stairs. I didn't know what she was saying but I knew it sounded urgent. ". . . . in the yard. . . . secret room. . . ."

Completely forgetting my pain and numb legs, I leapt outta bed then fell flat on my face. I couldn't feel either leg. I sat on the ground for a moment before grabbing my dresser and forcing myself up. I hung onto the edge of my dresser, desperate for the feeling to return to my legs. Suddenly, I had the strange urge to look in the mirror. I looked up. My face was literally lily white, the irises of my eyes were blood red, and my pupils were tiny black dots as if I were somewhere bright and shiny despite the darkness of my room. That familiar fear and dread crawled into my mind again.

My mom's voice shook those feelings out of my head. Finally I could feel my legs and I raced downstairs. "What's wrong?" I demanded, squatting down next to my mom behind the kitchen counter.

"I told you to get in the secret room! What's wrong with your face? Shirley –"

"Don't worry about that now," I interrupted, "What's in the yard?"

"Not what; who. There's some kid in our yard. He's probably your age." Her eyes were wide with fear.

I struggled to remain calm. "What does he look like?"

"This is no time to try to pick up a date," she reprimanded.

"Seriously Mom. What does he look like? I may have. . . dealt with him . . . before. . ." I just kinda trailed off.

I saw the fury flash across her face but then the fear returned. She answered anyways. "A little taller than you, muscular build, black shaggy hair –"

"That's him. I'll be right back." I glanced over the counter and raced out the door, grabbing my rifle and a pair sun glasses Dad left on the counter.

"Shirley no –" I closed the back door, cutting her off.

I quietly snuck over to the picnic table and crouched on the ground, watching him. He was just sorta . . . . walking around. . . . I ran over to a nearby tree and loaded my gun. He turned around at the clicking of the bolt closing. I aimed around the tree and growled, "I thought I told you not to come looking for me."

"I didn't," he replied sharply, trying to find me. "Look, it was an accident. It's a big jungle--"

"Forest."

"Whatever. How was I supposed to know you, of all people, lived here, of all places. I was just getting' away from my sad excuse of dad and his Barbie doll wife."

I lowered my gun but didn't move my finger from the trigger. "Why?" I was afraid to sound like I cared but. . . I kinda did. I don't even know this guy, why should I care?

There was a pause, while he tried to figure out if he should answer. "He hit me," he finally replied.

"Can't take a spankin'?"

"No! He hit me. . . he hit. . . . my face. . ." He seemed to break down in front of me. He didn't cry, but he sounded broken. Like he should cry.

"He hit your face?"

"Yeah. Why do you care? You're tryin' to kill me." His voice rose slightly, but I hardly noticed.

I almost stepped out from around the tree but then thought better of it. "No, it's just – look, it's complicated. Why'd he hit you?"

"'Cause he's a jerk."

I sighed. "There had to be some reason. . ."

"I found. . . . him makin' out with his step-wife and I got real ticked off 'cause he's been such a terrible dad. All he ever cares about now is makin' out with Stephanie and bein' mean to me and pretending to be a good dad but I know he really wishes I was in D.C. with my mom but she won't let me go up there with her 'cause she says she'd never be around so I'm stuck here and I just wanna go home."

I listened intently while he spilled his guts to me about his private life. He didn't even know me and I . . . did almost shoot him twice and Red did. . . attack him. . .

There was a long silence. I didn't know what to say.

"Forget it," he grumbled. He turned and started heading toward my driveway.

"Where are you going?" I called after him.

"Home."

"It's three hours by car to the nearest town."

"I don't care."

Despite my better judgment, I ran after him. "Wait." I grabbed his shoulder. He stopped but didn't say anything. For some reason, I was scared to ask what I wanted to know. He stayed facing the opposite. I took a deep breath and let it out then changed my mind. "Come 'ere. Let's go inside." I took him by the elbow, he jerked his arm away but didn't protest.

* * * *

I followed her inside her garage. "This is as far as you can go," she said.

I shrugged. Like I cared. I felt her eyes on me as I looked around the three car garage, avoiding her face.

"Umm. . ." She didn't seem to know what to do now. Whatever. "I'm sorry."

I stared past her into the covered window. There was a woman standing behind the curtains, watching us. She disappeared into a room near the door when she saw me watching her. "For what?"

"Your dad." She sounded sincere. Probably all an act.

"Just forget it alright." I glared into those still covered eyes. I guess I stared too long, because she quickly looked down. She looked really different.

"Can I help?"

"Look! I said forget it! Okay? Just. . . . just leave me alone." I felt her eyes on my back as I opened the door and walked out. I closed it behind me and just stood there. Now where would I go? Home I guess. . . . or back to the cabin. . . .

I decided the cabin since I couldn't possibly find my way back to Nashville. As I walked through her backyard, feeling their eyes on my back, I couldn't help but wish she would come out and stop me again but I didn't know why. I had nothing more to say to her. Besides, what could she do for me? I mean, she's the one bein' all anti-the-world and livin' way up here where nobody had any business bein'. . . .

"Ugh. . . . ." I had been walkin' around for about an hour. I was lost. . . . again. And this time, that girl wasn't here to help me. I don't need her help! I can find my own way. . . . I groaned and sat down on a rock. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes for a long time. When I open my eyes, all this will be gone. I'll wake up in that stupid cabin with my stupid dad and my stupid step-mom and this will all just be a strange nightmare I never wanna have again.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I jumped [and almost yelped] when I discovered my dad staring down at me. How'd he get here so fast? Wait. . . how'd I get on the ground?

He pulled me up by my shirt. "What are you doin' out here boy?" He hissed. "You've been gone all night. Do you know how close I came to callin' the cops? It took me forever to find you!"

I had no idea what he was talkin' about. I'd only been gone for a few hours. "What are you talkin' about? I've only been gone a few hours."

His eyes became tiny slits in his bright red face. "Only a few hours?! You left yesterday afternoon and haven't come back to the cabin since then!"

Slowly, as he puffed angry breath in my face, I figured out what had happened. I'd fallen asleep on that rock and hadn't woken up for hours. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Sorry?! That's all you have to say is sorry?!" He yelled. He thrust me backward and turned away.

"It was an accident. I fell –"

"Shut up! I don't care about you excuses! It was stupid, selfish, and irresponsible! Do you have any idea what kinda torture you put me and Stephanie through?!" He hollered angrily inches from my face waving his hands around in big motions.

Now I was mad. "Torture? You're the reason I left the cabin in the first place! You don't care about me! You don't care about anyone but yourself. That's why Mom left. You don't ca –" My words were cut short when his fist met my jaw.

* * * *

Somethin' just didn't feel right, lettin' him walk away like that. It had bothered me all yesterday afternoon since he left.

I sat in my room, starin' out the back window into the trees, thinkin' about him. That's where I was when dad came home and that's where I was when Mama hollered up the stairs that dinner was ready.

When they had realized I wasn't coming, they both appeared at my door with frightened looks on their faces. I could do nothing but stare back at them. I was frightened too. What was this feeling I had for this stranger? My worst fear was that I was beginning to. . . . love him. . . That couldn't happen. Not with this monster inside of me.

* * * *

Dad dragged me into the cabin. Blood dripped from my nose and split lip. Stephanie gasped at the sight of me. "What happened, Andrew?!"

"I have no idea Stephanie. I found him lyin' on the ground like this, passed out," Dad lied. Lucky for him, Stephanie was oblivious and a total idiot. Anybody but her could tell these injuries were fresh.

"Here Jesse, come sit down and tell us what happened and I'll get you some ice," Stephanie said taking my hand and guiding me to the couch.

Yeah, ice'll do a whole mess o' good. I thought sarcastically. I wish they'd just let me go to bed. In my own home. . . I looked at Dad who gave me a warning look. "I don't know what happened. It's all a fog," I lied with a mocking tone. His fist flexed.

The cereal from yesterday afternoon decided to come visit us again all over the coffee table. Dad roared angrily and Stephanie gagged. Despite my surprise, I managed to throw my dad a very defiant and mischievous look before I passed out.

* * * *

I stared at Mom and Dad – he had taken a sick day today so we could figure what was happening. They stared back.

I had explained everything that had happened. They were at a loss for words. I awaited the worst. Red sat at my side, tense. She knew something was wrong too.

"Well. . . ." My dad finally started, "What are we going to do?"

Mom was shocked. "Why are you asking us? You always know what to do!" Her voice got higher and shriller with every word.

He put a hand on her knee. "I'm sorry. I just don't have a solution to this. Not yet, anyways. I never thought we'd have to deal with this."

"I'm sorry." I stared down at my hands.

I could feel both their eyes on me as Dad replied, "It's not your fault, punkin. It was a freak accident. We'll just have to be more careful for now."

"Yeah. . . . I know. . . ." I stood up and went to my room with Red at my heels.

I flopped down on my bed and hoped I'd sleep. I laid there in silence for about a minute. "Aaargh!" I groaned loudly. Red whimpered. I glanced down at her. "Oh no girl, it's not you. . ." I grabbed my iPod and threw on my Converses.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked as I passed her on my way to the stairs.

"I don't know." I kept walking.

"Didn't you hear your father? We have to be more careful!"

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at her. "I will be. I'm not going far. . . . just the tire swing." I saw the look of reluctance in her eyes. "I'll have Red, my gun, and my cell phone. . . . I'll be fine"

"Okay. Don't be gone too long."

* * * *

I was jerked violently back into consciousness as I threw up again. I heard Stephanie and Dad talking outside my door. I laid my head back for a second and listened. "I think he threw up again." It was Stephanie. She sounded like she'd be sick too.

"Thank you Sherlock, I heard him," Dad retorted.

"Well!" She cried, indignantly.

Dad thrust open my door. "Oh great! What? You couldn't have made it to the bathroom?!" I just stared at him. He grabbed my arm and yanked me out of bed. "Get out! Get to the bathroom and clean yourself up!"

I swayed for a second then did as he said. I didn't have enough energy to protest. Besides, I wanted this barf off me real fast.

I still didn't know what had happened to make me do this.

I locked the bathroom door and leaned on the counter, staring at my reflection. I looked at my shirt. "Ugh," I groaned. Carefully, I pulled off my shirt and threw it on the floor then turned on the faucet. I splashed some ice water on my face and rinsed out my mouth.

I put lid on the toilet down and sighed as I sat down. I was tired and this barfing wasn't helping. I decided I needed a shower and turned on the hot water.

Right as I was getting into the shower, it happened. I saw her. That weird girl that helped me back to my cabin. No, she wasn't right there in the bathroom, but it was almost like she was. It was so weird. . . . It was kinda like a mirage or something. . . .

* * * *

"Whoa!" I flung backwards and landed hard on the ground. "Umph." I had seen him again. . . . standing just four feet away from me. I just couldn't get this guy outta my mind and now I was seeing him as if he was right here with me. . . . But he wasn't. It was a weird mirage kinda thing.

I rubbed my back as I stood up and climbed on the tire swing again. I closed my eyes, trying to get him out of my head as the tire swing began to spin in circles. This was crazy. He was all I thought about. His hair, his piercings, his eyes, his voice. . . . From what I had seen in movies, I was fallin' for him and fallin' hard.

I sighed and got down off the swing again. You don't even know him! How in the world could you be falling in love with him?! I thought harshly. There's just something about him that's. . . . intriguing. . . . Great! Now I'm having conflicting thoughts! I was getting so frustrated at myself. Lord, help me figure all this out. I don't know what to do. I can't start likin' him. That would put Mom and Dad in terrible danger. Not to mention him. What if I can't control this thing inside me next time I see him? I don't want to relive what happened all those years ago. . . . Please God. . . help me out here. . . .