"Oh look," Chuck grouched as the limo pulled up at the heliport only to find two limos and one town car already awaiting them. "It's the Von Trapp family."
"Be nice," Blair reprimanded mildly, patting his knee absently as she searched in her purse for her phone. "They just want to see that we get off safely."
Chuck snorted, "No Waldorf, they want to see that I get off safely. You they'll try and convince to stay. I hate your family," he muttered to himself.
Blair gave him a withering look, "Chuck, sweetie, darling. I hate to burst your bubble but most of the people out there are related to you."
"Not by blood. All of my blood-family are dead." Chuck reminded her.
"Chuck," Blair sighed.
"I really hope that I never need a kidney."
"Chuck!"
"What?" He smirked. "It's true. If there's ever an accident then I'm basically screwed."
Blair gaped at him as he continued thoughtfully. "There is Jack I suppose, but he'd be more likely to watch me bleed out on the operating table."
He winced as Blair slapped him on the shoulder. Hard. "What the hell was that for?!"
"You are talking about dying and accidents, ten minutes before we are set to leave on a plane! You know I'm terrified of flying!" Blair shrieked.
James, the driver, tactfully maneuvered the limo around in a circle, and took the lengthier route around to the airport while simultaneously pushing forward the partition.
"I said that I'm screwed, you have thousands of relatives to donate crap." Chuck said defensively, rubbing his arm and scowling. "And the chances of the helicopter or the plane crashing are slim to none."
"Slim to none?" Blair snarled, "Slim-to-freaking-none? That's supposed to make me feel better you jackass?!" She slapped him again, this time adding extra power.
"Ouch! You know for someone so tiny you sure can pack a punch." Chuck rolled his eyes and grabbed her hands and pulled her onto his lap before she could hit him again. "Now, promise you'll stop abusing me and I'll let go."
"Abusing you?" Blair echoed incredulously.
"Bruises don't lie." Chuck said smugly.
If it was possible, she struggled more. "Damn Basshole … good for nothing idiot … talking about death … I'll show him abuse in a second … Moron!" She cursed under her breath as she planted a well aimed kick at his shin.
Some time later...
"Goodbye Lily," Blair smiled charmingly as she hugged her goodbye. Chuck just mumbled something under his breath until Blair stomped on his toe with her heel.
"Bye Lily," he muttered dutifully.
Blair shot him a glowing smile and he glowered back at her.
"Jenny," she eyed the younger girl sternly. "I'm leaving the wedding planning up to you for the next few weeks. Serena's decorative taste isn't the best at any given time least of all when she's hormonal."
Serena made a weak mewl of protest but a pointed look from Blair shut her up.
"I think we all remember Lily's disastrous choice of bridesmaid dress for Serena, so that's her out. And Vanessa," Blair gave Nate's girlfriend an appraising look, "well let's not even go there."
"I'm really going to miss that girl," Vanessa muttered sarcastically. Nate patted her on the back comfortingly as he goodbye to Chuck.
"Mother," Blair said wearily, moving along the line. "Any last words of encouragement?"
Eleanor glared at her and Chuck stonily, "If you come back with a British accent I'm disowning you."
Chuck snickered and Blair smiled weakly, "Love you too Mom."
Even later again...
"I can see Big Ben!" Blair said excitedly as she peered out of the porthole.
Chuck took a long sip of his scotch before shooting a glance at the clock hanging overhead. "Waldorf we're only just passing Scotland." He explained patiently. "You can't possibly see Big Ben."
Blair flushed and pulled away from the window. "I knew that," she said.
"Hey, look on the bright side." Chuck said wryly. "We haven't crashed yet."
Blair's grip on the seat tightened and she groaned, "Bass if I promise to buy you illegal organs on the Black Market in the unlikely event of you ever being injured, will you please shut up!"
Chuck smirked. "I actually think Eleanor's right, I am a bad influence on you."
Disclaimer -- Don't own. Wish I did.
A/N - I know, I'm terrible. The worst for ever updating stories, BUT, I am trying to be more consistant so from now on I am going to really work at getting at least three chapters of this up every week, and one or two of my new one 'Free'. All other stories are on hold until I at least get 'Free' done, but I will seriously try and get a new chapter of 'For You Anytime' up within the next week or two.
PS - Seriously though, how hard fluff is to write when we are getting NOTHING on the show???!!!
Thanks for reviewing! And please R+R, it really makes my day and motivates me to write more!
