New chapter. Hope you like.
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'When will I see you?'
'You won't'...
It's drivin' me crazy that even after six months that dream is still haunting me. I know what you're thinking, if the dream's haunting me shouldn't I call it a nightmare? But I won't...because if Buffy's there it's not a nightmare. And yeah I'm still hung up on her too. For some reason I pictured this being easy, well actually, I guess for the most part it was.
The morning after that first night I spent on the beach I cruised up and down the main drag, turned out a fancy pants restaurant was hiring, waitress position. I went in and they said if I toned down the eyeliner, got a pair of slacks and a blouse, they'd hire me.
I don't care what anybody says...the whole suit look, minus the actually suit...totally hot, especially on me. I used that to my advantage too. I can still see the pissed off look on the other waitresses faces, watching me count my much larger wad of tips.
Course a week later I got some competition in the form of Alex. Personally I don't think it's fair that he gets to wear more eyeliner than me but whatever, he's a good guy. So good in fact that now we're roommates.
Yep, I spent those first couple weeks like I always do, in a run down hotel room, but then Alex showed up, said he was new in town and looking for a roommate.
Now normally I wouldn't shack up with a guy unless I was gonna marry him or he was a total flamer. Take a guess as to which one it was. I'm still workin' up the courage to tell the other waitresses...it's a gay thing.
Anyway, we stayed at the hotel until we'd saved up enough money for a down payment on a place and I must say, it's workin' out pretty well in my favor. The guy cooks, cleans...hell, if he weren't gay I'd go straight for him...maybe...if there weren't a certain blonde in my past.
Point is I'm doin' alright for myself. The only thing keepin' me from being totally happy...the aforementioned blonde. I keep telling myself maybe things like this just take time. Then a little voice that sounds annoyingly...well blonde...pops in and says, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt Faith."
Whatever, I was never good with the whole geography thing anyway. That's why I'm not gonna get hung up on it and just go right back to sleep...or at least I would if there weren't overly loud moans coming from the next room. I bang on the wall a couple of times.
"Keep it down you two!" I'm not really angry, I gotta admit the boys have stamina. It's 3 in the mornin' for god's sake.
"Sorry Faithy!" I swear he is the only person I will let call me that. Anyone else would have their testicles ripped off by now. So yeah...3 in the morning. If I stare at the ceiling for just a little longer, I'll be out.
'Buffy, no!'
'Willow, find Faith! She'll be the only one who can stop him now."
Ok, so remember how I said any dream with Buffy in it is definitely a dream? I was so, so wrong. Because a dream that has Buffy dying is definitely my worst nightmare. So now I'm sittin' here with my legs all pulled up to my chest wonderin' what to do. I got a cell cause the manager at work needed a way to reach me if somebody called in sick. I guess I could give her a call. But I don't really wanna talk to her ya know? It's like smoking then quittin' cold turkey. I can't go back, even if it's just one cigarette, cause it'll never be just one and then I'd have to quit all over again. Damn I'm lame when I get all metaphorical and shit.
I'm debating goin' and waking Alex up but the boys need their beauty sleep after their long night. I've told him about Buffy, sometimes he rides me about going back and making her love me. He says he's only joking but I know there's some truth behind his words. Other than that, he's just kinda been like my rock, my best friend I guess, the person I tell all my troubles to. Kinda like my own personal...and that's when it hits me. I don't have to call Buffy to know what's goin' on in good ole' Sunnyhell. I check the clock; 5:47, still too early to call but the gym opens at six and I'm jonesin' to get some of this nervous energy out.
I'm out the door 5 minutes later, granola bar in one hand and a note on the counter for Alex. Yup, I'm gay-whipped alright, we're practically married and that makes me smile...just a little, cause it takes my mind off Buffy...just a little.
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