Chapter Notes:
First of all, sorry that this has taken so long! omE this chapter was about to be the death of me! Once again, not my favorite chapter in the world, although there are parts I'm proud of. There was A LOT of things I needed to get conveyed here and I tried and tried to get them all in. With that said, I didn't succeed... but that's not saying I failed. Once again the outline I set for myself twisted a little... just a wee bit, pushing some things to chapter 7... possibly chapter 8. (I could have fit them in here, but this chapter was already so long, even longer then chapter 4) I will talk more about this chapter in the end notes, as to not give anything away. However, let me warn you... there is confusion in this chapter. Chapter 5 brought us Edward's turning... and with his turning comes certain abilities; abilities he doesn't know he has. I got confused WRITING this damn thing, so I can't imagine you not getting confused reading it... i tried to make it clear if it were spoken or thought and if it were thought then by who... *sigh* It was very confusing and took a while, hopefully I don't confuse you guys TOO much (a little is okay, because poor Edward is confused) ;)
Chapter 6
I lay there, feeling the pain recede as an all-embracing numbness took me over. No, not numb, but something close to that. My body tingled as though it searched for sensation. However it felt as though sensation encompassed me, consuming me. I could feel everything around me; the poke of a spring in the mattress beneath me, the fabric of my clothing as it lay on my unmoving body and the air that surrounded me. Not a breeze, just the air. It was as though it had thickened and some how become tangible. It was neither warm nor cold, just present.
I became suddenly aware of just how much my body had stilled. I felt no urge to move. No involuntary muscle twitches. No need to open my eyes to see what was going on around me. There was no fatigue. No discomfort. There was nothing. It felt as though I could have laid there forever, completely still for all eternity. The world would continue on its normal course and I would exist amongst it, but not truly a part of it.
So this is death, I thought to myself.
It was then that I noticed, even with my eyes remaining closed, that I wasn't alone in the room. There was no sound, no movement being made. However, I could feel eyes on me, studying my motionless form. This unyielding gaze penetrated through me, casting a sense of unease that spread throughout my entire body. It was in that moment that I felt a heightened awareness of myself.
Never have I been so mindful of my senses. My nostrils filled with a hundred different scents at once. Wood, paint, linen, grass... all familiar smells that were intensified to the point that I was forced to wonder if I had ever truly smelled them before. But there was something else. A sweet aroma; a soft combination of honey and lilac.
My mind moved from, but didn't forget, my newly enlightened sense of smell as I became aware of a familiar noise; running water? It sounded like a steady, yet small stream was flowing right next to me. The babbling of the brook as water slid along over rocks, following it's course down the creek, held my attention. It was soothing in a way I had never noticed before. Slowly, other sounds came into focus. The stirring of leaves on a tree as they danced around from a gentle breeze. The faint, continuous croaking of a bullfrog. The rapid, rhythmic thumping of a heartbeat.
My concentrated senses adjusted to the right of my body, as the slight sound of rustling clothes accompanied the soft scent of honey and lilac as it drew closer.
"Edward?" A smooth, graceful voice whispered. "Can you hear me?"
Yes, I thought. I can hear everything. Absolutely everything.
"Edward, open your eyes," he urged. "If you can hear me, open your eyes Edward."
Slowly, I let my lids slide open. Bright light surrounded me, but my eyes didn't need to adjust from the darkness they had just been cloaked in. There was no squinting or pain; only clarity of which I had never experienced before. Is this Heaven? Particles of dust that floated along the air were clear as crystal to my eyes. The ceiling directly above me was whiter then any white I had ever seen before. I could make out the bristle marks of the paint brushes from when the ceiling had been painted.
I'd forgotten how red the eyes would be, he whispered aghast.
Hearing this, I turned and met the gaze of Dr. Cullen. Just like with everything else, it was like I had never really seen him before. His features were still attractive, even more so then before. And even though he still looked as though he were made of porcelain, his skin looked softer; it almost seemed to gleam. His eyes weren't the gold I expected to see, but an immense black. My mind became hazy as I tried to search my memories, desperately attempting to recall if his eyes had in fact been gold or if I had been mistaken. My attention was drawn to something else, something I couldn't figure out how I possibly missed before; Dr. Cullen had a massive scar on his neck. Albeit he wore no tie and his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his throat more fully; however, the sheer size of it reached beyond where his collar would end, making the scar visible even while dressed properly. How could I have missed that before? It looked as though he had been savagely mauled by an animal of some sorts. However, this didn't deter from his overall attractiveness. Ripping my attention from his healed over wound, I brought my eyes back to his. "What's wrong with my eyes?"
"You'll adjust to them," he said softly. "It takes a little bit of time to properly adjust to everything, but don't worry you will."
Must be blood shot, I thought. My mind became aware of an intense burning that began to form at the back of my throat, bringing the excruciating pain I had just gone through to the forefront of my memory. I sat up quickly studying my hands and arms, looking for scorch marks on my skin, searching for any signs of the fire that had tormented me. I saw none, but I could not avert my eyes from my skin. Though there was nothing to indicate I had been burned, my skin had indeed changed. It looked smooth and soft with all imperfections gone. There were no lines or scars, no veins visible under the surface. The color was different as well. I had always been on the fair side, but now my flesh had a more pallid, white hue to it.
I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my fists as I noticed that the numbness was still present. My fingertips tingled as though my hand had fallen asleep. However, I felt no movement in the joints of my fingers no matter how hard I squeezed my fist closed. As I did this, I noticed my knuckles didn't appear whiter than the rest of my skin. I tightened my fist even more, trying to get the skin that was overlaying my bones to pale. I continued to draw my fingers in tighter and tighter with the color staying unchanged. However, in doing this I also noticed something else; there was no pain. My fingers should have ached by this time. The muscles in my arms should have cried out in mercy. But, there was nothing. In fact, I felt stronger the longer I held my fist shut.
My attention returned to the burning sensation in my throat. I looked to Dr. Cullen, confusion evident on my face. I opened my mouth to speak, to ask about the fire that I could not seem to swallow. But a realization stopped me before I could utter any words. I could feel my eyebrows furrow as my eyes moved from the young doctors face, to my still clenched fist and then back again. The smooth, soft skin with its pallid hue of my hand was the same as his. I couldn't understand it. I was sure, positive even, that he had been much lighter than me. Nothing made sense. My memory once again became hazy as I tried to search it for verification that I was not wrong. However, thinking became near impossible as the fire in my throat continued to rage.
"My throat burns," I finally managed to say while swallowing roughly. I unclenched my fist and rubbed the front of my neck, trying to alleviate the pain within from the outside.
Dr. Cullen looked down and began nodding slowly before he returned his eyes to mine. They were filled with pain as he spoke. "You'll need to feed soon."
What an odd choice of words, I thought to myself. However his statement seemed to trigger something in me. I became aware of a hollow feeling that was taking over my body, as though I were empty. A full body hunger was devouring me. More confusion gathered on my face. "Feed?" I asked as though the notion of eating were foreign to me. As I thought of food, random things I was accustomed to eating, a feeling of something beyond revoltion consumed me.
I looked away, disgust showing on my face as the thought of food lingered in my head. It was then that I noticed I was no longer in the same room as when I had fallen asleep. In fact, I couldn't be sure If I were even still in the hospital. It looked more like a one roomed cottage. There was the bed I laid on with a dresser next to it. Above the dresser was an antique wrought iron mirror. And across the room was a small table with four chairs surrounding it. There was a vase filled with daisies in the middle of the table. Everything about the room seemed generic and cold, almost as if it were merely for show. Everything, except the paintings that adorned the walls. They were colorful, beautiful. There was almost an essence of life to them.
It's going to be hard to control him his first time. There's no guarantee that he won't follow his instincts.
My head snapped away from my quick scanning of the room and back to Dr. Cullen. "What?!" I was beginning to get annoyed. He wasn't making any sense and it was adding to my perplexity. My reaction brought a slight look of confusion upon his face as well. Aggitated, I stood up from the bed and began pacing about the room. I became more puzzled as I came to the realization that I didn't recognize anything within the walls in which I stood. The burning in my throat once again intensified as the emptiness that engulfed my body deepened. Again, I brought my hand to my neck and tried to swallow down the flames.
"It'll get worse the longer we wait," he said softly. "It'll be harder to keep yourself from hurting someone."
My full attention once more fell on the doctor. I narrowed my eyes at him as my irritation was reaching it's peak. "Hurt someone?! Why would I..." I stopped, my frustration coming to a head. Anger filled me as his words found their home in my mind. "Why would I hurt someone?! You're not making any sense!" I yelled at him as I raked my fingers through my hair, attempting to get some grasp of the situation, my eyes still scanning over the room. Not knowing where I was was not helping with my annoyance.
Oh God, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. Of course he doesn't know! Why would he know?
Dr. Cullen's horrified voice filled my mind making me bring my eyes back to him, yet again. His words, his expression... none of it made sense. Where's my mother? Where are the nurses? Why am I not in the hospital? All these questions ran through my mind, but my mouth opened to ask the one that demanded to be answered first. "What don't I know?"
With my eyes still locked on the doctors, I watched as he narrowed his gaze at me. Did I say that out loud?
The confusion of his voice didn't quell my irritation. Actually it made it worse. It was as if we weren't having the same conversation. Unable to contain my anger any longer, I began shouting at him. "What?! Stop doing that! Stop it! Of course you said it out loud. I heard you! You're not making any sense!" I began my pacing again; my strides deliberate, yet frantic. "What don't I know?" I repeated my earlier question with vehemence as I stared down the doctor, my demand for answers becoming more than apparent. "Answer me!"
Edward.
"Answer me, dammit!"
Edward. My mind filled with his soft voice as he said my name again.
"What?!" I screamed at him.
Look at my mouth. Instinctively my eyes fell to his lips. Edward, can you hear me? His words filled my head, while his lips stayed stationary in front of my gaze.
It took a moment for me to process what was happening before me. How was I able to hear him speak when his lips weren't moving? I couldn't even begin to fathom what was going on. The answer became clear. "It's a trick. It has to be a trick," I repeated, shaking my head feverishly. "It's a trick!"
What have I done?
I watched again as his lips remained still, but his voice became present in my mind. "Stop that!" I shouted, covering my ears and turning away. "Stop it!" I felt like I was losing my mind. Nothing was making sense. No questions had been answered, there were only more added to them. My mind was swimming, incapable of comprehending what was going on. I needed to know; I needed to understand. I needed answers. I spun around so I was once again facing the young doctor. "What don't I know?!" I repeated my question through gritted teeth.
Dr. Cullen's face was pained; anguish coated his eyes. Slowly he let his gaze move from me to a mirror that hung on the wall across the room. He'll understand faster if he sees. More words from unmoving lips filled my head. "Look in the mirror." His voice was soft, troubled.
I went to the wall in a second, moving faster than I even knew I was capable of going. I needed to see what was going to help me understand, what was going to give me the answers I so longed for. As I looked into the reflective glass I grew more confused. It was a mirror and yet I couldn't see my reflection. Instead I saw a porcelain statue with an almost opalescent sheen to it. There were no imperfections to the face; no lines, wrinkles or scratches of any kind. However, when my gaze fell to the neck, two sets of teeth marks caught my eye. They were scars, that much was certain. One set was deeper, more pronounced. Where as the other was far more shallow, more hesitant. The crescent shaped impressions were the only blemishes to be seen. Other than those, the statuesque young man was perfect.
I had only spent a few moments staring at what should have been my reflection before I saw the eyes in the mirror. Deep, garnet red eyes stared back at me. They followed mine, doing as I did. It was in those unnaturally colored orbs that I realized I had not been looking at some piece of chiseled art, but that the porcelain statue was in fact me. Or whatever I had come to be.
Aghast, I staggered back, away from the mirror with the cursed reflection. As my body slammed into the wall on the other side of the room, I threw my gaze at the young doctor who stared at me with anguish in his eyes. "What is this? What's going on?" Horror dripped from my voice. "What have you done to me?!"
"Edward," he said as he began to move closer to me. "I need to tell you something. I need to explain-"
"Explain?! Explain what?" I yelled at him. "Are you going to explain to me why my skin is glowing white or why my eyes are blood red?! How about why I can hear a bird flying outside?! Or maybe you're going to explain why no matter how tight I close my fist I don't feel any pain?! Why I don't feel anything at all?!"
This is going to be harder than I thought. He's not taking it well. Of course he's not taking it well; how should he take it?
"Stop it!" I cried out as I threw my hands over my ears again, attempting to silence his unspoken words. "Stop it now!" I ground my hands into the sides of my head. "Why don't you tell me about that?! Tell me why I can hear what you're thinking!" I screamed in a frenzy.
"I can't."
"What's wrong with me?!" Pain and fear engulfed me. I pushed away from the wall and returned to my previous action of pacing about the room.
"Edward please. I need you to be calm. I need you to listen so I can tell you, explain to you, about what you've become so you-"
"What I've become?" I asked dismayed. And there it was, verification that something was indeed seriously wrong. I stopped my pacing and paused in front of the small table, placing my hands on the back of one of the wooden chairs. My shoulders fell defeatedly as I attempted to ready myself for whatever the doctor was going to tell me. A memory of the image of what the mirror reflected flashed in my mind. I turned my head, trying to escape the picture that lay within my own thoughts. "What have I become?"
"There's a name for what we are," he began to explain.
"We?"
"You, me... and so many others like us." His voice was calm and even.
"I don't understand..." Confusion had laid full claim to me. "What name?"
Dr. Cullen opened his mouth to speak, to reveal the name he had alluded to just moments earlier, only to have no sound come out. Whether it was intentional or not, his hesitation didn't stop his smooth voice from entering my mind and saying the word that would become the very essence of my existence.
Vampire.
I stared at him with blank eyes; waiting for him to crack a smile, or give some indication that he was simply joking. I waited for him to tell me something that I could understand, something that I would be able to grasp the concept of. But, no words were spoken and his voice did not fill my mind. So I sat there completely still, staring with void eyes and waiting for some form of normality to envelope me.
"Edward did you..." he hesitated, unsure of whether or not to continue. "...hear me?" I continued to stare at him, my eyes remaining unresponsive to his voice. "Edward?" His tone was apprehensive as were the slow movements he made around me. He moved slightly closer to where I stood, but stayed within my direct line of sight. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
I kept my vacant eyes fixed on him as my mind mulled over that single word that he had yet to vocalize. Vampire. Ridiculous. Incomprehensible. Nothing was making sense at all. Vampires didn't exist. They weren't real. They were stories; stories told to scare children. There had to be another explanation to everything; my newly enlightened senses, my changed appearance, the lack of pain or feeling throughout my body; save for that inextinguishable fire in my throat. There had to be some clarification of what was going on, but what?
"You're lying," I whispered, but there was no conviction in my voice.
"Edward," he paused. "Your heart isn't beating." Instinctively my right hand cupped the left side of my rib cage, searching for the faint thump that should be there. Nothing. My hand moved across the skin of my chest, seeking evidence that he was wrong. Dr. Cullen moved closer to me as he continued to speak softly. "Blood is not flowing in your veins and yet your walking around; your talking. Your skin is whiter than you remember it being. Your senses are stronger than they have ever been before. And I'm sure that the burning in your throat is getting to be unbearable."
He was right, with every inhalation the fire seemed to grow. However, it was then that I was struck with a realization that refuted his claims. "Why am I breathing?" My eyes bore into his, demandingly.
"Instinct, partly." He said calmly. "You need oxygen in your lungs to speak. And it's impossible to smell without inhaling. Scent is going to be your best and worst ally."
"Why worst?" Confusion crept into my features, furrowing my brow.
"Depending on your..." there was a pause before an incomprehensible flow of words flooded my mind as Dr. Cullen searched for what he wanted to say. "...methods of survival," he finally concluded. My brow furrowed deeper, still unable to understand what the doctor was trying to tell me. "Much of what you 'know' about our kind is myth." He sighed deeply before he spoke again. "However, blood is an unfortunate necessity. We need it. That is why your throat burns. It's your instincts making themselves known."
I felt the look of horror over take my face as his words found their way into my mind. I shook my head slowly, keeping my gaze locked on his. "I won't... I won't! I'll let myself die. I won't drink blood!" Anger consumed me.
"You will." His voice was so even, so sure. "You may try to fight it, but you'll fail. Your instincts to survive are too strong. The longer you go, the hungrier you allow yourself to get, the more likely it becomes that you will hurt someone."
"You've turned me into a killer... a monster." I said, exasperated.
"No. You don't have to be. It's your choice."
"You're telling me that I need blood. That I'll crave blood. And then you tell me I have a choice? What choice?!"
"Animals," he answered. "You can hunt animals. You're faster than them; stronger than them." He assured me. "In time, with practice, you'll have control over your urges. But until then, you can't underestimate the draw that human blood will have over you."
I felt the vacancy return to my eyes as my mind attempted to absorb everything I had just been told. It was unreal, all of it. Things like this just don't exist. For a very short moment I had myself convinced that I had lost my mind and I was stuck in a horrible nightmare. However, I was sure this was beyond the worst dream I had ever had. My mind once again became hazy as I tried to remember my nightmares.
"Edward?" The smooth voice of Dr. Cullen invaded my thoughts. He sounded concerned and I'm sure the blank expression on my face was the cause of it. I didn't care. I ignored him. I was ignoring the insanity that he was trying to make me believe. My life no longer existed and yet I remained. I was not alive. My heart no longer beat beneath my chest. But here I stand feeling a burn in the back of my throat, telling me that blood is needed. That I needed to kill so I could survive; survive when I shouldn't exist. "Edward?" The sound of my name brought me back into the unnatural reality I had become apart of. As the emptiness in my eyes receded, I allowed myself to focus on the face in front of me. Dr. Cullen's eyes were filled with fear as he stared at me. "Say something."
It was then that I realized that I had been wrong when I had initially opened my eyes; I wasn't in Heaven. "Am I in Hell?" I whispered faintly, noticing for the first time how my voice flowed as smoothly as Dr. Cullen's.
"No, Edward," he said softly, shaking his head. "You're not in Hell."
"Then why are you doing this to me?" I let my gaze fall from his and onto the vase of daisies in the middle of the table.
"There was little time." His voice was remorseful and filled with urgency as he moved closer to me. "You got so sick... so sick and so fast. Much faster then your parents." He shook his head and pressed his lips together. "I left you to rest, I hadn't been gone that long, but when I came back, you were unconscious. You were so sick... so sick... and slipping away so fast and all I could think of was the request your mother had-"
My head snapped up, shock and concern filled my voice as I interrupted him. "My mother?" Guilt consumed me as I realized that I had not asked of her until that moment. I had been so engrossed in myself that it hadn't even occurred to me to question the doctor of my mother's health. "How is she? Where is she?" I asked quickly.
Pain replaced the fear that had been in his eyes when I had last looked into them. "Edward," he began, apprehension returning to his voice. "After your mother woke up, she wouldn't rest, she wouldn't be calm. And so I brought you into the room with her. She tried to take care of you. There wasn't enough nurses and doctors and..." Dr. Cullen stopped and tried to recompose himself. "Your mother... she figured out what I was... somehow." The anguish in his eyes intensified and I could feel my body stiffen as a feeling of trepidation encased me. "And she asked me to save you. To save you in a way that only I could." His eyes fell from mine as he shook his head slowly. "I don't know how she knew, but I am convinced that she did." He cast a soft smile at me before he spoke again. "She was so worried about you. She loved you so much."
There was a loud crack as the back of the wooden chair I had been leaning on fractured in my hand. I clenched my fist tightly around the pieces that remained in my hands and felt the wood give way and bend to my will. I continued to tighten my grip until there was only a fine pulp left in my palm. My arms dropped to my sides as dust, all that remained from the wooden chunks, fell through my fingers like sand.
Was... loved.... both were past tense.
I grabbed the vase of daisies off of the table and threw them across the room, watching as the glass crashed against the wall, splintering into a hundred pieces. His words echoed in my mind. Was; she was worried. Loved; she had loved me. But not anymore.
A growl bellowed from me as I slid my fingertips to the underside of table and jerked up quickly, sending the table flipping end over end to the other side of the small cottage. Was. I kicked the half demolished chair out of my way and grabbed one of the others, snapping it as though it were a twig, sending the pieces flying behind me. Loved. I moved to the small bed, picked up the mattress and threw it. I watched as it bounced across the floor before landing with a solid thud. I walked to the dresser and threw it down to the floor, screaming the entire time. I kicked it lightly and watched as it slammed into the opposite wall as though it weighed nothing at all. My chest rose and fell in steady rythme from my out cries; my heavy breathing mocking my dead lungs.
Motion in my peripheral vision brought my attention to the wrought iron mirror that had been hung above the dresser. I moved to it, ready to destroy it too, when my new reflection stopped me. Those garnet eyes stared back at me, through me. The air I didn't need to breathe halted in my throat. I wanted to look away, but I was unable to complete the action. The image in front of me was someone other than who I had been. However, try as I might, I wasn't able to fully remember how I had looked before.
I moved closer to the mirror, placing my hands on the wall by either side of it, my eyes studying the figure before me. I already knew my skin and eyes had changed, but what about my lips? Were they always this red? I let my mouth fall open so to inspect them, only to notice the gleaming white of my teeth. I pulled my lips back into a sneer, looking for signs of fangs, but there were none. However, they were straighter than before, or at least I thought. My eyes moved up to my hair. It was such an odd color; like bronze out in the sunlight. Had it always looked like this? I ran my hand through the peculiar shaded strands, watching as my locks fell perfectly disheveled back into place. I did this a few more times. No matter what my hair did, it looked as though that was how it was supposed to be. That's different. I'm sure of that, I thought to myself.
A faint memory of my mother fixing my hair came into my mind, tearing my eyes away from the impostor that stared out from my reflection. I hung my head, afraid to ask the question that I had been forced to ask about my father. I didn't dare to harbor a hope that the answer would be any different. "My mother?" My voice was so low, I wasn't sure if it were even audible.
Dr. Cullen moved cautiously towards me. His gentle voice was filled with concern as he spoke. "I'm so sorry Edward."
I brought my forehead to the mirror and allowed it rest there. I waited for the burning in my eyes to start. Waited for my vision to cloud over with my tears. I could feel my sobs in my throat, but there was no moisture in my eyes to match it. I brought my head up and met the young doctors eyes in the reflection. "I can't cry?"
"No," he said softly as he shook his head ever so slightly.
A small cynical smile came to my lips, turning up one side of my mouth. "Why didn't you let me die?"
"I couldn't."
"You should have." I snarled. "I don't want to be like this. A soulless monster, forced to feed off of the blood of others to survive." I broke the eye contact between us as I came to a horrible realization. "I am in Hell." Disgust covered my face as I met his eyes again.
A troubled looked came over Dr. Cullen's face, as his voice entered my mind. Oh God, what have I done?
"God?" I laughed sardonically. My eyes returned to reflection in front of me before I met his gaze in the mirror. "God doesn't reside here."
End Notes:
1. Okay so I got some, er, concerned pms/reviews about chapter 5... No one said anything negative (thank you by the way) but there was plenty of "I wish we could have seen..." or "what about.." and do you know how PLEASED I was?? LOL, I know that sounds odd, because I sent out so many responses basically saying "trust me, please!" However, in getting the response that I got it made me feel like "wow, they're REALLY apart of my story now!" But anyways, the reason I did what I did with chapter five was simple... it's really hard to add surprise to a story when the basic outline is already known. So I've decided to give myself more work and self-induced stress by trying to be as accurate to the book as possible, but yet, keep you guessing about parts you know are coming :) I love a challenge ;) So hopefully you all forgive me now and please, just trust me!! *hug*
2. Here's a reiteration of this point....... I ADORE CARLISLE!!! And obviously Edward as well... with that said, please don't hate me for what I'm doing to the both of them. I tried to imagine how I would react if I went through what Edward went through (losing his dad, watching his mom get sick, feeling tortured by fire, being told that you've become something you were sure could never possibly exist...) and I just didn't see myself being all calm about any of it. I've only read the series once (blashemy i know!) but I never got the feel that there was too much conflict involved with Edward being changed... i could be wrong... i DO need to reread them but *pausing to brag*I refuse to touch my copy of Twilight, because it is signed by quite a few people in the cast *unpause* With Carlisle being, well, Carlisle... I imagined him feeling tormented and feeling responsible for Edwards anguish, although (later)he doesn't regret doing it. To me, he is the heart and soul of the entire series.
3. If you didn't like chapter 6... or the way the characters, particularly Edward, developed in this chapter... you might want to stop reading this story then. It's only going to get worse... after all you can't have a teenager rebel out of the blue, it's gotta build up to it. And you can see it building. You're going to want to smack Edward... and I don't want you to get mad at me for making you want to smack him, so I'm just warning you now! lol :)
4. I hope you were able to follow the dialogue okay... there was, I think, 3 different conversations and only 2 people. (The convo Carlisle thinks he's having with Edward; The convo Edward thinks he's having with Carlisle and the Convo that is happening from those two separate convos... i'm confused writing this!) ... oh and then you toss in Edward's thoughts! However I wanted it be a bit confusing, because Edward is confused and annoyed and his questions aren't being answered... But yeah so hopefully you were able to follow it okay. I tried to put, as often as it made sense, if it were Carlisle's thoughts or Edward's... i tried... that's all I can say at this point lol :) I stayed up all night writing that bit and it drove me a lil bonkers... it was hilarious :)
5. Chapter 7 isn't started......... at all........ not even the outline. And it's going to be a bit before I have time to start it. Because *pause to brag again* I am a nerd and I'm going to the twlight convention in San Francisco this weekend and I won't have any time to even prepare the outline, much less do any writing *unpause* plus I recently moved into an apartment and I am getting things delivered early next week so i need to make sure the house is properly preped for it... aren't you glad I'm on a tangent right now?? lol back to L/DEM
6. So in End Note 1 I asked you to just trust me... HOWEVER, feel free to bring up any concerns... cause maybe there was something that I missed that I wasn't aware of... after all, i am only human!!
7. Thanks for reading guys, I heart you all... i seriously do! I'm sorry that this took so long... and as much as I hate to say it, my updates, for a while any way, will probably take between 1 to 2 weeks *hides* life is crazy !! :) But thank you again! *hugs*
