Chapter 1: please is a magical word
"Mommy", Renesmee pleaded "I don't want to die young I want to live forever like you and daddy",
"I cant", I replied "even if I thought I could bring myself to bite you think of what your father would do",
"Yeah but he didn't want to bite you ether and that turned out fine", Renesmee argued. I sighed heavily "I will discuss it with your father but if he says no you must accept it okay",
"Okay dokey", my daughter replied happily. I smiled I loved to see her happy it made me happy she was the cutest thing id ever seen which got her what ever she wanted. I regretted telling her I would ask Edward if we could change her he would get angry with me for thinking that we would ever change our daughter. But I had promised her.
*****1 HOUR LATER******
"WHAT" Edward shouted "how you could even suggest that we might do such a thing do you really want our daughter going through all that pain you know what its like!"
"How could you even think I would want to put her through any pain at all?" I replied devastated that such a think had crossed his mind.
"Well you suggested it"
"Your right that I do know what that feels like but I also know what it feels like when your life is really short compared to the life of the ones you love!"
"Even if I did agree which I am not what about the Volturi they would never allow it"
"Why not her intellect is high enough they might agree"
"They won't"
"Well I'm going to ask them"
"You're not taking Renesmee with you"
"Why not she's my daughter"
"It's too dangerous"
"They will never say yes with out proof of my words"
"You can't take her"
"How do I know you won't run off with her while I am gone?"
"Bella how could you think I would do that"
"How could you think I would want to hurt my daughter?"
"Bella please listen to sense what if because she is only half vampire something goes wrong" I opened my mouth to reply but closed it when no comeback came to my mind. "See Bella I am right again like you said I am always right." I just glared at him then before he could stop me I ran into the dark night. Away from him and that argument .we had never argues like that before I didn't understand why it had to start now.
Jasper caught up with me after about 5 minuets of running. "Renesmee heard the argument" he said sadly. I froze horror struck. Jasper ran back to where I had stopped "she blames her self doesn't she" I said. I felt horrible Renesmee wasn't at fault I was. He just nodded. I hung my head in shame. Jasper was hot on my heels as we ran back to the house.
When we arrived Renesmee was crying in Rosalie's arms Jacob was looking at Renesmee over Rosalie's shoulder. When she saw me she reached out for me to pick her up I did and she touched my face and showed me the argument. I felt so ashamed. It was late so I decide to put her to bed.
When we reached the cottage I took her inside and put her in her bed "Renesmee" I said "it's not your fault it's entirely mine I am so sorry I didn't know you saw that"
"But mommy" Renesmee replied "I made you argue by asking for you to change me"
"Please Renesmee don't think it's your fault at all"
"But it is my fault"
"How much do you want to be a vampire?"
"Not much anymore because it's my fault you fought over it"
"Stop blaming your self but do you still want to be a vampire a little bit?"
"A little bit but I am not going to make you do that I am too selfish like Jacob says all I do is want things I cant have"
"You know he was joking about that"
"I know but it's still true"
"Renesmee please just try to stop blaming your self and go to sleep and you are not selfish at all"
"Goodnight mummy"
"Goodnight Renesmee sleep well" then I left her room quietly closing the door behind me. Then I went to talk to Alice about Renesmee and how it was my fault "Bella she said softly it's not your fault its no ones fault".
"But I gave in to her".
"I know!" she exclaimed "lets go shopping that always cheers me up!"
"I'm not trying to be rude Alice but i'm not you"
"It will take your mind off things"
"Okay let's go" I said with a sigh
When we reached the huge department store Alice dragged me though the store to eight gigantic shelves full of shoes. Then Alice let me go and ran to the fifth shelve and returned carrying a stack of boxes. Is stared at the boxes terrified at how many there were.
An hour later as odd as it seemed I was actually having fun it was new to me having fun while shopping Alice was right it does take your mind of things. I was carrying three bags and Alice six and four of them were full of shoes! God I know Alice was a crazy shopper but I didn't know she was this bad gee talk about a shopaholic. It was six O'clock and we decided to head home.
"So" Alice said "feel any better"
"as a matter of fact I feel a lot better your right shopping does take your mind off things"
"Told ya so" she laughed I laughed along with her I was better to enjoy myself now because later I knew I would be really far from happy.
