A short while ago there was a glitch in the computers at the uni I attend, the photocopiers are run through computers so I couldn't log on to print my essay or photocopy the questions for another assignment for a week. It was fustrating but it made for an interesting time because everything is so computer-orientated. We laughed about it quite a bit in Japanese class and managed to talk sensei into giving us a week's extension on our assignment (That assignment wasn't actually affected by the glitch, which made that much more awesome). On another note, I haven't been updating recently because first I was swamped with essays and assignments and second: After completeing the essays I was sick to death of microsoft word.
Computer Bug
"The hell?" Leon grounded out, glowering at the photocopier.
"Yea that's not working." Sora supplied unhelpfully. He chuckled at the responding glare as he hauled himself up onto the table and kicked his legs out and cheerfully elaborated. "Bug in the computer network, no one can log in or copy anything."
Leon muttered an oath under his breath. How the hell was he supposed to give a test with no question papers? Well okay, he could postpone it; no doubt his students would love that idea, but…they had no computers for the day. Theirs was a school full of proud techno-junkies; it didn't take straight A's to know one's way around computers and the internet. Leon's hands curled into fists: how the heck was the school going to survive?
Cold Turkey.
This phrase, evidently, meant full attendance.
He knew his frequent absentees had been skipping to play in the computer lab! With no computers the usual hooky wasn't happening and all of his students –bar those legitimately absent- were in class. With no test papers Leon had nothing prepared for class so he'd simply told his students to do whatever; so long as 'whatever' wasn't too loud and stayed in the room. He was seeing a lot of the new portable gaming consoles (and a few games he promised to buy himself on payday), and he was catching up on the school gossip. Though he didn't really care if Belle and 'The Beast' were on the outs again; really, that couple needed a revolving door to go with their relationship.
The dull roar of his students enjoying an extra hour of leisure was easy enough to work with. Leon sat at his desk fine-tuning his lesson plans for the next week. He had a hunch that the computers and photocopiers were going to be for a bit longer and he wasn't going to waste anymore class-time because of it. Aside from the occasionally extroverted student drawing him briefly into a conversation. He was generally left alone by the teenagers and was able to modify and improve the next month's worth of lessons.
Of course, peace at this school was always short-lived and normally quite brutally murdered. A week later the computers were still down, Leon pressed on with lessons. He was in the middle of outlining the tactics of a medieval battle that had the boys riveted and the girls fidgeting when a scream of utter rage echoed through the hallways. Unlike the bewildered students –some of whom had fallen out of their chairs- Leon didn't need to wonder who that voice was. The eventful years of his career at this school had earned him a Masters in deciphering the differing screams of his fellow teachers. It was something he took a quiet pride in as depending on who screamed and the tone of that yell, Leon was often able to tell when to confront and when to evacuate his students the hell out of school.
In this case, Yuffie was the culprit. Leon sank low in his chair and silently counted down from twenty. The instant he reached zero the door banged open and Yuffie barged in, sending the boys flying to the nearest hiding place –it seemed that they hadn't quite recovered from the Caffeine Incident. He stood up slowly, an apprehensive expression on his face as he met the wild-eyed gaze of the Home Ec teachers. Yuffie pulled at her hair and flailed for a moment before throwing her head back and falling to her knees.
"I can't take it anymore! Why? What did I do to offend the Yaoi Gods?"
Leon backed away slowly and shared a bemused look with the front row.
"Lee-ooon." She whimpered piteously, staring up at him with wounded eyes. "Why did the yaoi gods take the computers? What did I do to deserve being cut off from my yaoi source?"
"Don't you have internet at home?" He moaned, pressing a hand over his eyes as his students looked on in varying degrees of wonder. He suffered four years of college, hostel food, messy dorm-mates and a huge student debt for this? He'd had most of that for free at his father's house. Yuffie was a sweet kid most of the time, but when her yaoi obsession came into play, forget it.
Yuffie's eyes nearly popped out. "On a teacher's salary?!"
"Right. Sorry." He winced and backed up two more steps. It truly did pay to have a computer-obsessed old man for a neighbour, he decided quietly as Yuffie foamed at the mouth and panted furiously, especially since old man Tron insisted that Leon spend an obscene amount of time at his house drinking apple cidar and helping the elder to enjoy his unlimited broadband. Not that the teacher complained; all it cost him was enjoyable conversation and repairing a roof that never failed to leak during the wet months.
Yuffie started laughing.
Normally, that wasn't something to be intimated by. Yuffie laughed a lot; it was very much a permanent background noise anyplace the young woman occupied. But this laugh was different. In fact Leon would go so far as to call it downright evil. Were he a drama or literature teacher he'd probably later describe shadows twining around the woman as her face shadowed, eyes glinting like sinister stars as he mouth stretched into a serpentine smile…
But Leon was the history teacher, thus he simply settled for describing it as 'scary as fuck'.
"Preciousssss…."
The Gollum impersonations never boded well in this particular work place. Last time Sora had been the impersonator and his dog Stitch had promptly stolen everyone's left shoe and deposited them in a pile at the gleeful Japanese teacher's feet. Leon's eyes narrowed as he tried to furtively signal his students to leave. The bolder students immediately dived out the window with squeakily heroic yells. The others scooted around the two teachers and darted out the door, sensing that the usual sort of Yuffie-styled drama was about to commence.
"Yuffie." Leon opted for a calm, even tone and resisted the urge to run screaming for Aerith. Yuffie wasn't someone he was normally scared of, but given her current state Leon was sure he'd rather be stuck between Cloud and Sephiroth during one of their arguments. "Let's just talk about this, okay?"
Leon felt a shiver run down his spine as the woman began to talk in light, eerie and thoroughly terrifying tone of voice. "Talk? Oh yes. Let's talk bout the hot man sex I can't see 'cause there's no internet! What's your preference Lee? Blonde or brunet seme? I like blonde semes personally, brunet ones are too mainstream and cliché. Tall dark and all that shit. It's nice to be different you know. You're a brunet Lee, let's get you some loving!" With that final proclamation which sent Leon's stomach spiralling down to meet his toes, Yuffie lunged.
Leon backed up quickly, faking a left-dodge before launching himself to the right and out the door. He decided now was a good time to indulge in his previously restrained urge.
"Aerith!"
Aerith looked up from stitching a gash on Cloud's arm –silly man left the kendo team use real swords (they were a sword team Cloud argued, not a bamboo stick team!) and it finally caught up on him. The pair watched with mild interest as Leon flew into the room, slamming the door closed and promptly barricading it with the nurse's desk.
"Yuffie?" Cloud queried shrewdly. At Leon's nod he sighed and shook his head. "Knew she'd crack first. Though Vexen can't be too far behind."
"Tell me the computer's are nearly fixed." Leon pleaded, an uncharacteristic note of hysteria in his voice as a loud bang announced Yuffie had collided with the door. The trio winced at the sound.
"We'll have the computer system running again on Monday according to Principal Ansem." Aerith reassured him, eyeing the heaving door warily. "What's wrong with Yuffie?"
"Yaoi withdrawal." Cloud cringed in sympathy, instantly piecing together the rest of the story from those two words.
"Oh is that all?" Came the nurse's mild reply as she fished around in a usually locked cabinet. Ignoring the stunned looks on the men's faces, she extracted two glossy books before standing by the door. "Yuffie? Calm down, sweetie." She soothed. "I have some doujinshi for you."
The pounding stopped.
At Aerith's pointed look, Leon tentatively unblocked the doorway and allowed the door to swing open as he jumped back behind Cloud.
Yuffie's teary hopeful face their view. "Yaoi?" She whispered longingly, looking up at Aerith with a childlike expression of trust.
"Yaoi, dear. Would you like a lollipop too?"
"Raspberry?"
Nodding softly, Aerith smiled and handed the items over with a flourish to an instantly gleeful Yuffie who hugged her and sprinted down the corridor with a loud whoop. Turning around, the nurse smiled at the stunned pair of men and tapped their noses playfully. "I'm the school nurse." She reminded them airily and Leon had the distinct impression she was laughing at him. "I cure all ailments, especially those unique to our staff."
Cloud exhaled sharply as the woman strutted out back to pick up fresh bandages.
"Damn."
End.
