a/n: Sam's savior in chapter two wasn't really an actual character, I just threw the faceless man in to get her out of a sticky situation so you can imagine whomever you want it to be: Jack, her long lost father, the Leprechaun on the Lucky Charms box.

I Am Much Too Alone In This World, Yet Not Alone

Disclaimer: Brachel and co. are the property of the cw and mark shwahn

Chapter 3: Sober

Her limbs felt heavy, leaden as if she was swimming through a vat of Jello. She can hear hushed voices in the distance, someone is talking to her, their voice hoarse and every now and then sniffling. A hand pushes the bangs off of her forehead gently caressing her brow and Sam tries to snuggle her face into the soft touch. All of a sudden the movement stops and just when she thinks she's done something wrong the hand returns, squeezing her hand and calling out for a nurse.

Her eyelids struggle to open, sleep caked in the corners and she has to blink several times to clear her vision. As her foggy brain tries to shake off the heavy sedation, she finds Brooke's tear stained face hovering over her, a wide smile etched across her lovely features and Rachel's suspiciously red eyed face appears just behind hers.

A nurse is on her other side, checking her vitals and making notations on a chart and she uses the time as her guardians ask about her health to take a good look at her surroundings. How did she end up in a hospital? Last thing she could cognitively remember was walking in the rain, hiding out under the overpass and standing by the warm fire with…flashes of being trapped underneath a solid body, uselessly trying to defend herself as a crippling pain surged through her stomach, bombards her muddled brain causing her to recall why she was even in that situation in the first place. Panicking, she glances down to her hand still clasped tightly in Brooke's grasp, filled with shame she wants to tug it loose but Brooke won't let her.

"Sam, it's okay." she soothes the young girl. "You're in the South Street Clinic, someone dropped you off here yesterday because you were sick and in pain and the doctor had to remove your appendix. Do you remember what happened or who brought you here?"

The nurse must have anticipated her dry throat because she hands Rachel a plastic cup of water and the red head bends the straw to reach her mouth. Sam takes long gulps, wetting her throat with the cool liquid and when the slurping signals the cup is empty she motion for a refill.

They wait patiently as she slakes her thirst and when the second cup is drained, Sam leans her head back and closes her eyes briefly. 'What are they doing here? Why are they still being so nice to me' are the foremost questions her brain can conjure up in her fuddled state. She opens her mouth to answer as to why and where she had run off to but all that she manages to croak out is: "Words taste like peaches." before submitting to the sedatives the nurse injects into her I.V. once more.


Rousing from sleep, she notes that it's nighttime by the darken window and a dim lamp illuminating the small room. Turning to her left she is surprised to find Brooke fast asleep, curled up on Rachel's lap in the chair at her bedside. Her soft rustling draws Rachel's attention to her and she gives the young girl a tired but joyful smile.

"Hey Sam I Am," she greets in hushed tones, "glad to see you back in the land of the living." Rachel reaches out to hold her hand but Sam pulls back.

"Don't." Sam grumbles, swallowing back the tears, "I don't deserve you being nice to me, especially after what I did to Brooke."

"Sam you listen to me," Rachel says firmly as she takes hold of Sam's hand and balances Brooke on her lap, "we do not blame you for what happened. The attack was not your fault, you said so yourself that you didn't ask that creep to go after Brooke, right?" Sam nods her head emphatically and Rachel smiles at the child-like gesture from a kid who usually tries to act so tough. "And we believe you."

"But why?" she asks, bewildered that they could forgive her this easily when just two weeks ago Rachel was ready to send a S.W.A.T. team after Victoria because they thought she was behind the assault. If they were going to do that to Brooke's mother then she shudders to think what they were capable of doing to her. "You say that you don't blame me now because I'm in the hospital but I bet the minute I'm better it's back to the pound I go."

"Never say that, Sam I told you, you are apart of our family. You have no idea how much we regret letting you walk out like that. Brooke was a complete mess, we had a dozen people out searching for you. Forty- three hours of absolute terror not knowing where our girl was and when we finally located you here… I'm so sorry you had to go through the surgery alone."

"So then what, you feel guilty because my appendix burst?" Sam bristles "If it hadn't been for me shooting off my mouth none of this would have happened. I saw those bruises that asshole caused, I saw that dead look in her eyes, how can she ever forgive me?" She adverts her guilty eyes and Rachel sighs, deciding to try a different tactic.

"You've read Lucas' book, right?" Sam nods her head at the strange non sequitur. "Then you know that the school shooting, Jimmy committing suicide and Dan killing Keith was all indirectly caused by the time capsule being prematurely revealed." Rachel takes a deep breath and Brooke who has been silently listening to their conversation, lifts her head and places a soft kiss to Rachel's temple giving her the strength to continue. "It was me, I was the one who opened the time capsule. What started out as a stupid prank set off an atrocious chain of events that cost two people their lives. I may not have pulled the trigger but my idiotic actions caused a lot of damage. To this day I can't even tell you why I did something so malicious. There are only three people I've confessed this to: Mouth, my therapist and Brooke."

"And I forgave her for her careless misdeeds just like I forgive you Sam." when Sam still looks unconvinced Brooke slides off her lovers lap and cautiously climbs onto the bed, tenderly wrapping her arms around Sam. "What happened to me was not your fault Avril." the annoying nickname Brooke often uses rips a sob from Sam's chest. "I'm so sorry we let you walk out that door and in the future I want you to know that you can always come to us with anything good or bad and we will be here for you."

"Why," Sam asks, still not ready to believe forgiveness could be obtained so easily, "why would you still put up with me after all of the crap I pulled. You should have kicked me out long ago when you caught me stealing from your wallet."

"Oh Sam, don't you see how much we love you?"


After Glenda kicked them out of the clinic with the promise that Sam will be well enough to go home the following afternoon, Brooke walks into their bedroom to find Rachel laying in bed, staring at the ceiling deep in thought. Crawling up onto the soft mattress, she rubs her hand across bare skin exposing Rachel's toned stomach.

"Hey," her raspy voice whispers, "come back to me. We're here in our warm bed, you're not in the tutor center, Rach."

"I can still hear it, you know. All these years later and I can still feel Mouth's tears soaking my shirt, feel his body quake and that sound…that Pop!" taking a deep shuddering breath, she covers her face with her hands, digging the heals of her palms into her eyes to rub out the gruesome vision.

"Sweetie, don't do this to yourself. Jimmy was sick, he was tormented for a very long time, though having his angry tirade broadcast like that didn't help, at that point I don't think there was anything that could have brought him back from the edge."

"For so long, I tried to drown out that sound, alcohol, heroin nothing could make it go away," removing her hands she looks to Brooke with such sadness in her brown eyes. "Except you, you healed me Brooke. Damn did that sound as cheesy as I think it did?"

"No, it was very sweet."

"A-huh." Rachel says with a wry smile

"So sweet that I'm in danger of slipping into a sugar coma." Brooke laughs as Rachel tackles her on the bed, stretching out her body along the brunettes. They lay there for a moment just gazing into one another's eyes simply enjoying the closeness. "I love you Rach, so much." Reaching her hand up to bring the red head in for a kiss she moans as Rachel deepens it immediately. The hunger for more quickly takes over, she rotates her hips and when Rachel reciprocates the action a pool of molten liquid forms in her lower belly. Rachel tears her lips away to trail down her neck, running her tongue along Brooke's jugular and suckling her pulse point. Brooke grabs Rachel by the hips, angling her to just the right position and thrusting upward.

Rachel grinds herself into her lover but it's not enough, she needs to feel Brooke's silky skin against her own. "Brooke, I need to touch you, I need to be inside of you." a guttural moan is all she receives in response so she strips them of their clothing, exposing their heated bodies to the cool night air. Wasting no time she trails her hand down Brooke's flat stomach, past her mound and into her hot, wet body.

Brooke writhes beneath as Rachel pumps her fingers in and out in long languid strokes. Her mind is completely blank, all she can focus on is the wonderful sensations only Rachel can evoke in her. When her orgasm hits she nearly knocks her lover off of the bed with it's force. Before Brooke could catch her breath Rachel's deliciously wicked mouth burns the same path her hand had taken earlier.

With a tight grasp on her hips, Rachel swipes her tongue over her center again and again. Brooke's clawing at the bed sheets, mumbling incomprehensible words, only serving to spur her on. As she climaxes a second time, Brooke squeezes her thighs together trapping Rachel's head between them. Rachel gently coaxes her lovers legs apart as she rides out the aftershocks, she pushes herself up onto her knees and marvels at the beautiful woman on display just for her enjoyment.

a/n: kind of short and depressing I know but cheer up! Sam's safe and will be coming home soon, all of the secrets are out and forgiven and the next chapter has a very steamy Brachel love scene, until then.