A/N: Sorry, sorry sorry for taking so long but I had the flu for like a week and a half, then had to catch up on work but when I finally had time to sit and write I couldn't focus, hence the Brachel verse future shot 'Six Times Binks Kissed Annie', if anyone was confused Binks is Brachels daughter and Annie is Peyton and Lucas' daughter. It's explained further in the Sam centric fic that was suppose to go first but the other was finished and I wanted to see if anyone was interested before I continue.

I Am Much Too Alone In This World, Yet Not Alone Enough

disclaimer: all characters are the property of the cw

Chapter 7: I Won't Let Go

Standing in front of the floor to ceiling wall of windows Rachel is mesmerized by the panoramic view of Central Park. She had always loved Brooke's penthouse on the upper east side, especially in the spring of their first years in New York, Brooke would put aside her work and drag Rachel off to Shakespeare's Garden where they would laze away a sunny afternoon talking about everything and nothing, simply shutting out the rest of the world. It was these memories that had gotten Rachel through those horrible first days at rehab when the pain from withdraw and her separation from Brooke was enough to make her feel as though she were losing her mind. Closing her eyes Rachel presses her forehead against the cool glass, a smile tugging at her lips, envisioning chocolate and red headed toddlers chasing each other and laughing, while she held a happy Brooke in her arms, looking lovingly at their family.

"You were amazing tonight," Rachel sighs contently as Brooke approaches, her arms encircles Rachel's waist from behind, "I am so proud of you."

"Thanks, but really the whole affair was a group effort and a lot of the credit goes to you, I'm mainly the window dressing."

"No, you Brooke are the one who spearheaded the campaign, you've done a world of good for the cause, Nana Gattina would be grateful, but that's not what I was referring to. I meant I am proud of the way you handled the Victoria situation, you had so much compassion and grace, I'm almost embarrassed for my actions."

"Don't be, Victoria has a way of bringing out the absolute worst in people." Brooke hugs the other girl tighter.

"True, but I never should have let her words get to me and I definitely shouldn't have hit her."

"Please, if I had a nickel for every time I've wanted to deck my mother…oh wait I do." Rachel rolls her eyes and laughs, "Seriously though Rach, why did you let her words get to you?"

"It wasn't just her, you know? After that crap with LucASS and I also ran into Nicolette…" Rachel's voice trails off as she feels Brooke's body stiffen.

"Nicolette Caldwell? Oh how is she, still freelancing?" the forced neutrality in her tone raises the hair on the back of Rachel's neck.

"We didn't talk for long, I was busy and not the least bit interested in whatever she said."

"What did she say?" now Brooke's growing wary

"She invited me out with the old gang." Rachel replies cautiously

"And what did you…"

Spinning around to face Brooke so that she'd know for certain that what Rachel says next is absolutely the truth."I'm through with that shit Brooke. The crazy parties and the drugs…look I'm not gonna lie and say that I wasn't tempted. I'm an addict, I will be tempted everyday for the rest of my life, the point that I'm trying to make though is," heaving a sigh Rachel searches for the right words to get her point across, "there was a time that heroin was the most important thing in my life. But all of that is over now, you and Sam are what matters the most to me and I would die before I'd ever bring that chaos into our lives. You want to know what keeps me sober? Whenever I get the urge to feel sorry for myself, I remember the look on your face when I OD in your loft. You were so scared and disappointed and I was so ashamed of myself for causing you that heartache." Brooke leans forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead and another on her nose, holding her lover tight.

"Have you given any thought to what your dad said?"

"Not much really, he seems apologetic enough and at least he's trying to make up for being a lousy father."

"Whatever you decide…I'll support you." Rachel's heart does a little flip when she's rewarded with a grateful smile.

"It hurts, to know that he thought so little of me, pimping me out to his business contacts. But the harsh reality of it is that even though he suggested those things about me, I'm the one who actually went through with it. No one forced me to be a slut, I did that all on my own, he simply cashed in on it."

" I can't really advise you on how to handle your parents Brooke, I haven't spoken to my folks since I left Columbia after only getting my associate's degree. They were so pissed that I decided to model instead of a respectable career that they cut me off financially. When I left rehab I was going to visit them to try and make amends."

"What stopped you?" Brooke frowns, she never did get a satisfactory explanation about why Rachel chose to seek her out fresh from rehab.

"I wanted to stay with you." the sincerity in that simple statement was enough to melt her heart

Pressing Rachel up against the window Brooke slowly rubs her hands over her hips gradually lifting the hem of Rachel's dress, raining urgent kisses upon her. Rarely, in the months that they began their sexual relationship, has Rachel relinquished control but tonight she was nervous and letting Brooke take the lead was a welcome respite.

"Maybe we should move this a few feet to the side." Rachel moans as Brooke kisses her way down the slope of her neck.

"Afraid your fat ass is gonna break the glass?" Brooke's husky laughter is muffled by their closeness

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of not mooning half of New York."

"Alright, but I wanna take a shower first, during that last interview with the editor from Vogue, she smoked like half a pack of Marlboros, I smell like an ashtray."

"I don't mind, it'll just be another reminder that you're smoking hot!"

Somehow the pair manages to make it into the bedroom, tumbling onto the plush mattress Brooke pushes Rachel onto her back straddling the other girls lap. She stretches their arms over Rachel's head and Rachel's eyes widen comically when Brooke's hand comes dangerously close to her pillow. Clasping the brunette's roaming hand, she flips them over and quickly kisses away Brooke's protests.

"Rach, wait I wanted to…I always finish first." Brooke groans, as Rachel removes her dress

"I like being on top," Rachel shrugs, "besides those dirty little noises you make are enough to make me climax, alone."

As Rachel slips her hand under the waist band of Brooke's panties her fingers glide easily into the brunettes folds. "God, you're so wet." she teases Brooke to the brink then pulls her fingers out much to Brooke's dismay. After paying adequate attention to Brooke's ample breast, she slides down her lovers body placing open mouth kisses to Brooke's creamy thighs zeroing in on her center and hovers for several moments before Brooke lifts her hips in demand. Rachel buries her tongue as far as she can into Brooke's hot core, suckling gently and as Brooke approaches her peak, Rachel pulls away earning a desperate growl from her partner. Rachel stretches her body out over Brooke's and smiles, greatly enjoying her distress. Pushing her thigh in between Brooke's legs, she slips her right hand under her pillow and easing the little velvet box open she palms the tiny treasure. While the brunette is distracted grinding her center against Rachel's thigh, Rachel slips her grandmother's ring onto Brooke's left ring finger. She replaces her thigh with nimble fingers just as Brooke's digits enter her and captures the other girls lips in a searing kiss that catapults them both into nirvana.

"Ask me again." Brooke requests in a near panic and breathing heavily as she comes back down from her high.

"What?"

"Ask me to marry you again!"

"Why, are you already having second thoughts?"

"Of course not, but I can't very well tell everyone that in the middle of a heart stopping orgasm you slipped a huge rock on my finger and proclaimed me to be yours, now can I?" Brooke rolls her eyes at her fiancées thickheadedness.

"Why not, afraid no one would believe you?" Rachel snorts

"Oh I know they'd believe me, that's the point we've already been dubbed the 'Screwsome Twosome', but do you really want people picturing me naked when I tell the story of how the love of my life asked me to be hers forever?"

"Good point." Rachel agrees with a decisive nod, grabbing the blue silk robe from the end of the bed and wrapping it around Brooke's shoulders, she takes Brooke's hands in hers, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes.

"Brooke Davis, from the moment I saw you I wanted to know you. From the moment I spoke to you I wanted to be your friend. From the moment I kissed you I knew that I would love you forever. You are the most beautiful, loving, often bitchy, sexy, funny, absolute wildcat in the sack, neurotic pain in the ass and I would be honored if you would be my wife?"

"Well, I suppose I should make an honest whore out of you." Brooke shrugs nonchalantly before breaking into a huge smile and wrapping her arms around Rachel's neck.

a/n: I purposely made this chapter short because I wanted to close out this part so that I could jump ahead a bit and start them on the next phase of their relationship and the introduction of a new character. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, Ravenscircle, Splashly20 you guys are always so kind in your reviews even when I'm not totally loving how it turned out. I have a basic plan of what's to come next and have to put a few finishing touches on that Sam centric fic I mentioned but my ideas are loosely going to follow what happens on the show tonight, so until then.