Chapter 3
Emmet's POV
"So, little brother. What do you want to do first?" I asked
"Hey. I'm not little! I'm much older than you, actually." He said
"Yeah, well, I'm much bigger than you" I said
"Well, I can't exactly choose how big I am. Technically you're my little brother." He said.
"Ok, Ok, little brother. What do you want to do?" I said
"Well, we should probably go get something for the girls first, so that's out of the way." He said.
"Ugh, I hate shopping. Do we really have to do that?" I said
"Yes, we do. You made up the excuse that we were shopping for the girls, so now we have to do it or Carlisle's gonna be pissed." He said
"Fine then. Where shall we go?" I asked
"We should probably go to Chanel or something like that, and then maybe get them some make – up from Dior." He said.
"You're such a girl, Jasper. How do you know all the brands where they want their stuff from." I said.
"Alice has been bugging me for ages about all the stuff she wants. Day and Night, she's always talking about that Armani stuff she wants and those sunglasses from Chanel and all that stuff." He said.
"Yeah, well, I still think you're a girl inside." I said
"No I'm not!" He said
"Wanna fight about it?" I said
"When we get home. I don't want to crash a building or something, but yes I will fight you when we get home." Jasper said
"Well OK then. If I win. The you're a girl." I said
"And if I win, you have to give me your car." Jasper said
"What! My car! Absolutely no way!" I said
I love my car. I've had so many experiences with it, some good, and some bad like when Bella was being hunted by James. Ah, it felt good to kill that bastard for trying to kill my little sister.
"Well, you could always forfeit, if you think you'll lose your car." Jasper said
"No, no, I'll fight" I said
"OK, lets go to Chanel then." He said
***
"Ok, we're finally here." I said
"Let's not be in there too long. Just in and out, to get them something." He said
"Sure" I said, and we went in. It smelled really bad, but I think it was meant to smell good to humans. I prefer the smell of other vampires; it's much nicer and intricate, especially my own Rosalie.
"Wow, I think Alice'll like this!" Jasper said, picking a floaty printed dress out of the assortment of dresses.
"Yeah, it's nice. She'll probably want a new pair of shoes to go with it though." I said. I suddenly caught sight of a gorgeous tight black dress for Rosalie
"I'm buying this one for Rose" I said
"Ok then, let's go pay and get out of here." Jasper said
"I'll be pleased to. This perfume hurts my nose even more than those scumbag wolves" I said. Even though Renesmee was in love with a wolf, I still hated most of the pack, but I was slowly getting used to Jacob.
"Don't say that. Renesmee will kill you." He said
"Yeah, whatever. They still stink. I don't know how she can take it!" I said. Jasper had meanwhile paid for the clothes, so we left the shop.
"What are we going to do now?" Jasper asked
"Well, I think we should go mess about with some of the girls round here." I said
"Sounds like a plan. Where shall we go?" He asked
"We should probably go to Starbucks. Loads of girls are in there." I said
"Sure" He said
We walked across the street to Starbucks, and sat down at a table. We both ordered coffees, and sat down. I said very quietly so only Jasper could hear "There are so many hot girls here. Look at them blondes over at that table!" and pointed to the table to the right. "Mess with their heads and make them really outgoing. They're looking at us, so they'll probably come over here." I said
"Sure" He said, and almost immediately two of them got up and started walking to our table.
"Perfect. They're coming here" I said very quietly.
"Hey. What's your name? I'm Lucy." The shorter one of the blondes said to me
"I'm Emmett." I said
"I'm Emily by the way" The taller one said to Jasper.
"Hi, I'm Jasper." He said
"And what are you fine ladies doing round here today?" I asked
"Nothing really. We've got dates later on, but we're probably going to ditch them losers." Lucy said
I saw Jasper wink at me really quickly so the girls couldn't see, which meant he was going to do something. Almost immediately, both of the girls looked at each other, and kissed us.
"What the hell!" I said "Sorry, but we've both got girlfriends and you said you've got dates."
"Oh………………." Emily said
"Well, we'd better get going" Lucy said
"Bye" I said
As soon as the girls had left, we both started laughing.
"That was sooooo funny!" Jasper said
"Did you see the look on Emily's face when you told her we both had girlfriends!" I said.
"Ah, that was awesome." Jasper said
"C'mon, let's go and do stuff to people on the streets" I said.
Jasper paid for the bill, and then grinned at me. The girl behind the cashier suddenly fell asleep on the counter. One of the girls next to her, who was obviously the boss or something like that, started screaming at her "What the hell Laura! That's the second time you've fallen asleep on the job. One more time and I'm gonna have to fire you!" she said.
We walked out of Starbucks, and as soon as we were out, started cracking up.
"Oh my god that was awesome!" I said
"Hell yeah! We almost got her fired as well!" He said
"See, I told you this was a good idea!" I said "I love your gift so much!"
"Yeah, I know I'm awesome." He said
"I think we should just walk around and mess with people." I said
"Yeah" he said
After walking down the street for a few minutes, a businessman next to us suddenly started swaying and walked straight into a lamp post, and all the papers in his briefcase flew out when he fell to the ground, fast asleep.
"Was that you?!" I asked "Cos that was funny"
"Yep, it was me!" Jasper said.
After that, a very fat girl spontaneously started pulling a random men next to her on the street, and he slapped her. One man started humping a lamp – post, and one crazy 70 – year old suddenly jumped into the street, and caused a traffic accident.
"This is possibly one of the best ideas you've ever had, Emmett" Jasper said
"I know, I'm amazing." I said
"What shall we do next?" Jasper asked
"Let's go piss off hobo's, and vampirize animals in the park.
