So Much Depends Upon…

So much depends upon
A little clay bird
Folded neatly in small
Petite, fragile, feminine hands…

So much depends upon a little clay bird, folded neatly in small, fragile, broken-down, feminine hands. As I stood in the rain, all alone, I couldn't help but wonder…why? Why did he have to leave me like this?!

I could remember the day that I had first saw him. I was only seven, and he was ten. He was wearing a pitch-black coat with a fine design: red and white lining, and red clouds that stuck out with the color of blood. I could remember moving my eyes to his face…the true face of an innocent angel. He had hair that was a very deep golden-blonde, some of it up in a ponytail and a fair portion of it covering the left side of his face. Then I stared into his bright blue eyes… They were strikingly beautiful, and I must've gotten lost in them, because the time had flew by when my father came. He seemed very angry at the boy, and it wasn't just for staring back at me. I kept my own eyes on the boy and paid no attention to my father, for, at the next moment, the boy was gone in a flash….

My memories quickly zipped through to the second that I had ever saw him. I was twelve, and he was fifteen. I had no home…for I was a rogue ninja. I could remember that my gang and I were in a fix, surrounded by enemy ninja. I didn't see it coming, but I remember the pain. I was kicked very hard in the lower back, and I was sent flying into the nearby trees. Just when I thought that I was done for, a guardian angel came to save me.

It was the same boy! I regained the focus in my eyes to see that it was indeed him. He had that same face, the same hair, the same eye… But he looked more grown-up, and definitely more…handsome. As I looked up at him, my eyes widened in surprise. He smiled at me, and my heart could just explode with happiness. He held me in his arms for what had seemed like hours before he finally set me down on the tree branch, still gazing into my eyes, and mine into his. I broke another smile, and we were finally able to talk to each other for the very first time since the day I say him. We talked about our interests, our specialties, and all of that stuff, until we had finally introduced our names.

Deidara… That was his name. And just like that, I was in love with him again. But as I turned away again for only a second, he had disappeared again, and then the enemies came towards me once more.

I never saw him again…until I turned thirteen. It was only for a short while, but that was when he had first kissed me on the cheek. I could still feel his lips even now….

The next time I saw him was when I had finally came home three years later, when I was sixteen and he was nineteen. I didn't want to go back just yet, so I ran to the first person that I could think of: Deidara.

I was so happy to see him. He had really grown a whole lot more since his last visit…and strikingly even more handsome than ever before. At that moment, I really wanted to break down and cry into his arms, because I was confused at the time, and I had lost the other true love of my life, Alfons, to a gun in a pointless battle. I had tried my best to recuperate on my own, but now, my only comfort zone is with Deidara. And me…in his arms…

A few days later, after my big return, it was our big anniversary. We started celebrating the official day when he had first met oh-so-many years ago… We took the time to relax and take a walk around the forest on that beautiful and sunny afternoon, and he was actually thoughtful enough to give me a present! It was a clay bird that he had made himself especially for me if I had ever returned back home…to him of course. As I held it in my hands, I looked it over, going over every detail before deducing the fact that it was supposed to be an eagle. He just smiled at me before coming closer to me…to press his lips against mine…

And that was my most cherished memory of all. The way he kissed me for the first time was just so…passionate. So real. But too bad that it couldn't last forever.

Shortly afterwards, he had a very important mission to do, and he promised that he would be back…but that was really the final time that I had ever seen him alive.

I was holding onto my little clay bird tightly, hoping to await his return. His blue eyes seemed so promising, but yet, so sad and so desperate all the same. I didn't know what I would so without him. He meant the world to me, and if he was gone…

Then the news came, and my heart just fell apart.

So now, as I stand here under the rain-filled sky, I kept on asking myself, Why? Why did he have to go off and kill himself?!... But yet, I still have faith in him. Faith that he would someday fulfill his promise and return to me and that everything would be okay again.

So, so much depends upon a little clay bird, folded neatly in small, fragile, broken-down, feminine hands – the only thing that he had ever gave me that kept me hoping, and waiting, for his return…