Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. I do however own the songs and the poetry used. If I didn't write it then I will gladly credit the original artists and/or writers.

This is in Tommy's POV the italicized part is in Jude's POV since it's her diary entry.

Chapter 21: Dear Diary

I walked in the bedroom and shut the door. I knew where Jude had thrown her diary. Now, I didn't feel as guilty about reading it because I won the bet. I knew she kissed me for the good of the video but, it still happened. I walked over to the other side of the bed, and I looked under it. I reached back a little bit, and I felt the journal and I grabbed it. I went and sat on the bed and I began reading.

Dear Journal,

Today was actually a good day. I met my new producer, little Tommy Q, or he is now known Tom or Tommy Quincy. I was a little skeptical at first but, I got over it. When I walked into school today I knew everyone was staring at me but, I didn't care because Jamie and Kat were with me. The only thing that freaked me out was the fact that my school principal made the band learn my song. I almost died; I knew I was blushing hard.

But, in the distance I saw Tommy standing against his blue Viper. I immediately felt better knowing that he was there. I knew he was harsh this morning but, he was right the words needed to change and I would let him help me if my music got better and get recognized. I walked over to him, and he told me to get in the car. He drove us down to the docks to work on my song.

I was having a hard time changing the lyrics but, he finally got me to. He came up behind me and put his arms around me, but I didn't realize that the press was taking pictures of this. I actually liked him pressed up against me because I could smell his sweet cologne. I also didn't realize what happened next was going to happen. Tommy surprised me, he got me a performance at the Vinyl Palace. I was so excited, I didn't have any words, for once in my life I was speechless.

Until later,

Jude

Dear Journal,

Tonight I had my performance at the Vinyl Palace and it was awesome but, earlier today sucked. I came downstairs and on the front of the paper was me and Tommy at the docks. The headlines said that we were dating but, they were false but, my parents were furious. At least my dad was partially on my side, he just told me if anything like that was to happen again then he would talk to Georgia about changing producers.

Well, when I got to school papers were everywhere and I just ripped them of and went on like every other day. I didn't let anything bother me just like I wasn't going to change. Jamie gave me a guitar pick necklace and I loved it even though he got mad at me because I changed the lyrics to what he called our song. He was right it used to be our song but, now it was mine and I didn't want to change it again because I knew that my music would suffer.

Well when I was in my dressing room Tommy came into wish me good luck and I got a little carried away and I kissed him. I mean I kissed him and he kissed me back but, he got this look on his face and told me that it couldn't happen, that I was too young. I did my best not to cry in front of him but, it was too hard. After the show I gave him my guitar and my resignation.

More to come and maybe some lyrics,

Jude.

I couldn't believe the last two entries. I never knew she had feelings for me, even though I always had these feeling for her but, I never acted on them in a way that made any logical sense.

Dear Journal,

I need a new hit, or at least Georgia said that I do. So Tommy got this bright idea to go up to my parents' country house and write a new song. My dad loved the idea but made us take Jamie and Kat along. I wanted us to have some time alone but, I knew that would never happen.

When we got there we must have lost Jamie and Kat because they weren't anywhere to be seen. They must have taken a wrong exit or something. Tommy and I were just getting settled and he was flirting with me, I mean actually flirting with me until my bitch of a sister showed up. I almost flipped out.

Then I go outside to get Tommy and what is he doing he is kissing my sister who knows that I have feeling for him. I was disgusted, I mean come one why her, he could have anyone but her, but no he has to hurt me that just pissed me off. He was flirting actually flirting with me and he kissed her. It just pisses me off so bad. I finished the song, and Tommy has no idea that it's about him.

Only One,

Jude

'There I go again; I hurt her before she even knew my feelings.' I thought to myself. I skipped the next few pages because they were lyrics. Then I got to the first entry that mentioned Shay.

Dear Journal,

I have a new song written and it's yet another one about Tommy. But, this media mogul Darius Mills is here with his nephew and poser rap artist, Shay. I can't stand him, he is so stuck up and arrogant, all the things that I hate in a guy. I have been kicked into Studio C because the precious rap star has to have his big huge studio, and I have no producer because he has taken over that to.

He eyes me like I am some piece of candy and that just pisses me off. I knew I got to him when I called him a poser and went off on him in his face, and now I have to go apologize mainly to make Tommy and Georgia happy again. I walked in the club and he is performing some sing that I apparently inspired. Which I don't know how but, I did. I think that I might actually have feeling for this immature little rap star.

So then we end up doing a duet for the song that was originally for Tommy. Now we have to shoot a music video about it great except for the fact that I can't dance and I have to kiss him on stage and on camera. This is going to be my first real kiss and the entire world is going to see it.

But, then at dinner the night before Shay decides that he doesn't want to date me anymore, so he decides to breakup with me in a public restaurant. I mean this is perfect, Tommy warned me and I didn't listen. So now I have to do this on set kiss with my now ex-boyfriend.

Can't think of anything to put here,

Jude

Dear Journal,

Shay and I got back together, but something's not right. I don't think that everything is going exactly like it should be. But, in an attempt to prevent drama I invited Shay to come to my school dance with me. Plus, I invited him over for dinner. I also wrote a new song, and Shay thinks it's about him.

Yes, I have feelings for him but, I think that I love Tommy. I don't know why but, I do. Well when Shay came over for dinner guess who showed up, Tommy. That made things even more awkward. I didn't think anything could like that could happen but, it did. I couldn't stop staring at Tommy mainly because Sadie was flirting with him, in Italian and no one else at the table understood what they were saying but, I had a pretty good idea because of the way that they were looking at each other.

When we got to the dance Shay gave a live performance and then he slipped the DJ my new song which he thought was about him. I looked over and I saw Jamie and Kat dancing and I had an idea that they were together. All night my mind kept going back to Tommy and Sadie, I couldn't help it.

I'm tired,

Jude

I was trying to make sense of what I was reading. Jude never truly had feelings for Shay. Jude cared for me the entire time, and she thought that me and Sadie were flirting that night at dinner. Wow, was the only thing that went through my head.

Dear Journal,

I turned sixteen today and Tommy was the first one to tell me happy birthday. Jamie and Kat came over for birthday breakfast as normal and then I went to G-Major to get ready for the party that they were throwing me.

When I got there Georgia and EJ bombarded me with stuff to try on. After what felt like hours of trying stuff on, I finally found the perfect dress. It was emerald green silk, with silver stilettos, and my hair was going to be up. I was looking forward to that and to get to see Shay for the first time since he left for tour. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that Tommy let me drive his Viper today.

But, while I was at G-Major I overheard a conversation between Tommy and Kwest. Kwest was a little mad that Tommy let me drive the Viper and that Tommy told him to spin 24 when I made my debut. Kwest accused Tommy of liking me and Tommy basically told him that if I were 21 then he would be with me. I also started writing another song, yet again about Tommy.

I thought my party got off to a great start until Shay publicly announced that he cheated on me with Eden and that he was breaking up with me at my party none the less. Then Tommy follows me out into the rain and he kisses me, and I kissed him back. For the record, he started it not me. Then to put the cherry on top of the perfect day, Tommy told me to forget that the kiss ever happened. I mean I finally get Tommy to kiss me and I basically know how he feels and he wants me to take it back. I don't know if I will even be able to work with him anymore.

Untimely yours,

Jude Harrison

Dear Journal,

It's been a week since my very unsweet sixteen. I'm not really talking to Tommy and the media constantly play the break-up scene on the news and it's all in the media. I hardly go outside and I have no new material at all.

Tommy has left me messages and tried to talk to me but, I keep avoiding him at all costs. The only time I don't is when I decide to go into the studio and then I act like nothing is wrong and everything is fine. I hate having to do that. Kwest knew something was up and he didn't say anything.

It hurt me to know that the guy that I have actual feelings for, and that I might actually love, do that to me. But, it hurts a lot. For that one second that he kissed me and held me it felt like time stood still. I loved the feeling that I had when I was in his arms, and I hated being apart from him. It hurts but, I was going to have to get passed it.

Plus to top it all off, Sadie is still flirting with him nonstop and I am getting so annoyed. She is supposed to be my sister for crying out loud. I don't think that I will ever move on from him no matter who I end up with.

Untimely and unloved,

Jude

Whoa, I never thought that I hurt her that bad, so much for me trying to the right thing. Protecting her from me, when I could have avoided this entire mess. If I never took it back, and if I didn't flirt with Sadie from the beginning. So much for me trying to be the knight in shining armor.

Dear Journal,

I know that I haven't written in a while and it's because I have had so much going on. Tommy and I did a duet together for a charity benefit and I was supposed to sing with Eden but, that didn't happen.

Instead I apologized to Kat for breaking her and Jamie up. Yeah, they were dating behind my back and I accidentally broke them up. I didn't mean to but it happened. I guess I was bitter that everyone around me was happy and they had someone when I had no one. It hurt to know that the one person who knew me the most, who I loved, yet they still had feelings for me didn't love me back.

Oh, I didn't mention that my parents are getting a divorce. I walked in on my dad and Yvette, out travel agent and they were a little more than comfortable on my living room couch. I was also supposed to perform 'Your Eyes' on this talk show and I did the show and the performance, I just wrote a new song about Shay, about my dad, and Tommy. Everyone loved it even though Georgia, EJ, and Tommy were mad it all turned out okay.

Wanting to scream my head off,

Jude.

'I can't read this anymore' I told myself. I was a little tired and I knew whatever I read was going to get worse. I mean if she had that much rage when I was accidentally flirting with Sadie, then I didn't want to know how much rage was built up inside of Jude when I started dating Sadie.

I put the journal away for more reading at a later time and I walked out into the living room. I saw Jude sitting on the couch listening to her iPod like she was before the video shoot. I walked up and I sat beside her, she gave me this look and I looked back. I just stared at her for what felt like forever.