Wow, guys! Thank you for the lovely comments; they mean a lot to me. As a thank you, here is
another update. I wasn't planning to write another before Wednesday but I had a flash of
inspiration yesterday. Hope you enjoy! X
------------------------------------------------------------------
#3 Nobody's Fault but Mine
Rachel taps lightly on the door and waits for it to be opened. She has decided to try and talk to Phillip about what had happened that day. Eddie, to give him credit, has already tried but Phillip wouldn't open up to him; instead shutting himself away in the sanctuary of his bedroom. So whilst Eddie locks up downstairs and gets ready for bed, Rachel resolves to talk to her nephew. As she reaches up to knock again, the door slowly opens in front of her and Phillip faces her; his shoulders hunched, his eyes averted to the floor in embarrassment.
"Phil?"
He glances up at her and she offers him a warm smile. He scuffs the carpet with his toe and stuffs his hands into his pocket.
"Yeah."
"Got a minute?"
"Look Rach, Eddie's already been up. I...I don't really feel like talking."
"Can I come in?"
Wordlessly, he pulls the door back and watches as his Aunty steps into his room before retreating to the chair next to his desk. Rachel takes in her surroundings; the dirty socks on the carpet, the posters on the wall and CDs of obscene rap artists that she cannot bear lined up neatly on the shelf. The world of a teenage boy. A world which she has always found strange to understand. Yes, she could teach them; help them in school. But understand them? Never. Not even her own nephew. She moves aside the pile of clean washing which she had placed on his bed that morning and sits down feeling incredibly awkward.
"Phil, about today."
He doesn't meet her eye; instead becoming fascinated with the pen pot on his desk. She watches as he empties the contents onto the desk before stacking the pencils back inside it.
"Phillip!"
The tone of her voice makes him jump and he sets the pot back on the table and turns to face her; placing his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry Rach."
"Why did you do it?"
"I..I don't know. I feel like such an idiot. No, I don't feel like an idiot; I am an idiot. Flick's never gonna talk to me again, is she? She thinks I'm a joke. The whole school thinks I'm a joke. I just don't fit in there. I don't fit in anywhere. "
" Oh, Phil. Why didn't you talk to me?"
"How can I? No offence Rach but being the Head Mistress's nephew is bad enough. If you start trying to solve my problems, I might as well not show my face again."
"Did...did anything happen between you and Flick?" She massages her forehead with her fingers.
"I'm just trying to work out why else you would even think of giving her my underwear." She watches as his cheeks slowly flush a deep crimson.
"I er...she...we kissed. At my party. "
Rachel looks away, unsure what to say to him. Knowing that if she is not careful, she could end up making the situation ten times worse. And why is it that she is left to pick up the pieces of Melissa's departure? It should be her sister comforting Phillip; not her. She tries to push aside any feelings of hatred she has towards her because they are not going to help her nephew.
"Right, ok..."
"I thought she liked me but she just thinks I'm an idiot now. I've got no chance. I gave her a card and she seemed to like it so I wanted to give her something to make her feel special."
Rachel raises her eyebrows. "Lovely idea Phil, but I'm not sure that – "
"And then I spoke to Eddie and – "
"Eddie? What did he have to do with this?"
"He told me that if you give women presents then they're putty in your hands. Or something like that. So that's why I took the um...y'know. I'm sorry Rach, I really am."
She folds her arms in front of her; inwardly seething at Eddie. She takes a deep breath and, standing up, moves towards Phillip and places a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok Phil, really it is. I just wish you'd talked to me, that's all. It's what I'm here for. Why don't you have an early night, eh? We'll talk in the morning." She pats him on the shoulder and walks towards the door. She turns to face him; one hand on the handle. "Night Phil."
He nods and smiles shakily at her. "Night Rach."
--------------------------------------
She walks into the bedroom and sits down on the edge of her side of the bed. Her side of the bed. This is something which has taken some getting used to and yet having Eddie besides her every night feels so natural, so right. Yes, he has a habit of stealing most of the duvet and waking her up at impromptu times with his snoring but she wouldn't change this for the world. Even if she is angry with him. She looks over her shoulder at him and he smiles at her before pulling the duvet up and kneeling behind her; placing gentle kisses on the back of her neck. She feels herself weaken for a moment but remembers that she is cross with him and pulls away. He frowns slightly in confusion as she picks up her pyjamas and walks into the en suite.
--------------------------------------
"Rach?"
She looks in the mirror as she brushes her teeth and studies his reflection as he watches her
curiously. He leans against the door frame and rubs his eyes which are heavy with tiredness.
"Mmm?"
"How did it go with Phil?"
She rinses her mouth and sets her toothbrush down before wrapping her dressing gown around her
and tying the cord into a knot.
"Oh fine. The poor kid feels like a complete idiot."
"What did he say?"
"He gave Flick my underwear because he wanted to make her feel special."
"What?"
"He was acting on advice from someone who should really know better."
"Who?"
"Someone who told him that giving women presents mean that 'they're putty in your hands'. Sound
familiar?"
Eddie runs a hand through his hair. "Ah that..."
"Honestly Eddie! What were you thinking?"
"It was meant to be a joke! I didn't mean anything by it."
"A joke? It's not exactly very funny, is it? Is that what you really think?"
"Of course not!"
"Because actually it would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it? Seeing as you seem to have shares in
Goldsmiths."
"What on earth – "
"Well, a ring for Melissa, a bracelet for me. Who else is going to be putty in your hands Eddie?"
"Rach, now you're just being ridiculous."
"Am I? Am I really? I don't think I am! He's sixteen years old and he needs role models. He's
vulnerable and we're just making it worse. Maybe it would just be better if I try to find Melissa."
"What? Why the hell do you want to do that?"
"Philip needs his mum. Now excuse me, I'm going to bed." She pushes past him and flicks the light off before climbing underneath the duvet. Eddie watches her; concern etched over his face before following her to bed.
--------------------------------------
She knows he is awake. She is unable to sleep either and is longing to feel his arms around her; hating the distance between them. Turning over onto her right side she reaches out and touches his arm.
"Eddie?" she whispers.
"I'm asleep."
"Don't be like that. I'm sorry about earlier."
She feels him shift in the bed as he turns onto his left side so that he is facing her. The room is bathed in moonlight which seeps in through the gap in the curtains; highlighting their faces.
"I'm sorry too."
"You didn't do anything."
"For what I said to Phillip. Honestly Rach, it was a joke; I didn't mean anything by it."
"I know that. I'm just so worried about him."
"I am too."
"I just don't know what to do for the best. I'm completely out of my depth here."
"Were you serious about finding Melissa?"
"What would be the point? She'll come back when she wants to. Turning up out of the blue is her style. But if I'm honest, I don't know if I want her to come back. Does that sound awful?"
"No of course not."
"Phillip needs her, I know that, but I'm scared that things will be different between me and you when she comes back."
"Rach, we've been through this..."
"I know we have but I'm still scared."
"Why?"
"She has a habit of always getting what she wants."
"Well it's about time she realises that life doesn't always work like that."
"I suppose."
"Except though, sometimes it does, doesn't it?"
"How d'ya mean?"
"Well, me and you...I know that I've finally got what I've wanted for a long time. Although I have to say Miss Mason, I'm not liking the angry side of you. Maybe I've chosen the wrong sister..."
"Not funny."
"Not even just a little bit?"
"No. Well, maybe... No. Definitely not."
He reaches out and strokes the side of her cheek. "Rach, if and when she turns up, we'll deal with it together, ok? She's not going to come between us, I promise. Now, can I have a kiss please?"
"It's a good job I like you Eddie Lawson; most women would have forgiven you for your little 'comment' so easily."
"Oh, so you only like me now, do you? That's not what you said the other night."
"What was it I said last night? You'll have to remind me."
"I think it was something like how you're the luckiest woman in the world to have found me. Also that – "
"That doesn't sound like something I'd say at all." She moves her head along the pillow so that they are face to face. "I'm sure it was more along the lines of I love you."
"Ah yes. Thinking about it that might have been it." He kisses her gently; reaching his hand around her back and drawing her closer to him so that their bodies are entwined. She kisses him back; feeling herself relaxing into her arms and giving into his touch; savouring the love that her heart and body crave each time she is with him.
Melissa will come back; that much is inevitable but now Rachel feels reassured that when the time comes, they will face her together. Rachel and Eddie. Eddie and Rachel. The way it should have been from the start.
