Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. I do however own the songs and the poetry used. If I didn't write it then I will gladly credit the original artists and/or writers.

Chapter 30: Exposed: Literally

So, I never thought that I would see the day where my sex life would be public. I never dreamed it mainly because I didn't think that it would ever happen out in public. But, boy was I wrong. So basically Tommy's video shoot for 'Bliss (I don't wanna know)' had Alex of all people cast as the girl who broke his heart. So I had to stand there and pretend like nothing was wrong.

So, she was lucky that I pummeled her a week ago and not just yesterday. I didn't like the fact Tommy had to touch her. I didn't like the fact that Tommy had to look at her. I didn't like the fact the he had to pretend that he broke her heart and that she had to pretend that she broke his, and I sure as hell didn't like the fact that he had to kiss her, ad I was going to be standing right there for crying out loud.

Flashback

"Tommy why do you have to have her in the video?" I groaned as we were getting ready to leave.

"I didn't chose her but, I'll be damned if I have to kiss her." He said, as he tugged his jacket on.

"This is going to be great; you know I actually hope that I left a scar on her." I spat.

"I know, but please be nice because the director chose her not me, please remember that." He said kissing the top of my head.

"I will, I promise. She'd better not talk to me or even look at me." I started about it again.

"Jude-" Tommy groaned before I interrupted him.

"I know, I know. I'll shut up now." I said. Before I knew what was happening he was kissing me. I slid his jacket off and I let him slide his hands under my shirt and lift it off. My hands were lifting his shirt above his head when his phone vibrated and we both knew that it was Darius.

He was being a real ass about video shoots now, I guess because at the last one Tommy ad I were five minutes late because we "overslept" as we both called it. He knew what was going on and he was powerless to stop it. We both put our clothes back on and left the apartment.

We got to the car and we were surprised that there wasn't press surrounding it yet. But, we both knew that this video shoot was open to all because it was Tommy's big return as Darius called it. The press literally quoted in the magazine that it was "the return of former BoyzAttack member Little Tommy Q." I was appalled that they still called him that.

I was happy for him mainly because he deserved this ad he had worked really hard to get it. But, I was still pissed as hell at the fact that Alex of all people made the casting callback for the video. But, I promised Tommy, and I will promise myself that I won't let her get to me.

When we pulled up at the place where we were shooting and Alex was standing there. She had her shoulder propped up against the door and she was waiting on me and Tommy. She ran over to him and gave him a huge hug.

"Tommy, I missed you." She said burying her head into his shoulder.

"Get off me!" He yelled.

"WHAT!" She yelled back.

"I said get off me. I don't want you near me more than you have to be." He spat.

I got out of the car and I walked over to them both. I was about to kick her ass but she backed away real fast. She tripped as I was coming towards he she got up and ran back inside.

"She is nuts." He said, he was pacing ad I was trying to calm him down.

"I know she is. But, look at it this way, all you have to do is, put up with her for today and we are done." I said.

"When did so become a positive outlook on this thing?"

"Because, I decided that I wasn't going to let her ruin what you and I have, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let myself be jealous of some fake blonde who is uglier, and can't sing." I said.

"Wow, you made an improvement since this morning." He said. I knew the press was watching and I didn't care. I knew they would try to get pictures of us kissing but, I never expected them to follow me everywhere I go.

I was thinking of kissing Tommy but, I decided not to. I walked inside with him, my hand grasped inside of his and I just kept telling myself not to get jealous and not let her get to me. I was hoping the director was going to say that it was a mistake that Tommy had to kiss her. But, I wasn't going to get my hopes up on that one.

Well, when Tommy and Alex were taken back to hair and make-up I decided to go ad get a cup of coffee and I was followed. Then someone tried to follow me when I wet to the bathroom. They had been in make-up for an hour and a half, and I wanted them to hurry it up so that this day would be over with.

Alex, had already shot all of the solo scenes now all she had to do was, shoot the scenes with Tommy. I was glad of that because that meant that she only had two scenes and I wanted her out of my life, and the sooner the better with this wench.

"Alright, I only want this shoot to be a day so let's get working." The director said.

Tommy came out and then Alex followed him. She was trying to cling onto him and the press loved it. They were snapping pictures left and right and I maintained my cool. I didn't go and charge after her like I wanted to. I just stood there and let Alex have her fun because when it was over I was going to let this all go.

Tommy came over and stood beside me. He kissed me forehead, my ears, and nibbled on my neck before he kissed me on the lips. I kissed him back deepening the kiss. I heard camera's going off in every direction and I thought that it was hilarious. I could see the headlines in tomorrows papers "Little Tommy Q torn between current fiancé Jude Harrison, and old flame Alexandria Lawson." I thought that it was hilarious. I was going to love this, and Darius was going to think that it was well worth it.

We pulled apart because we heard the director clearing his throat behind us. We smiled at one another and Alex looked pissed which is exactly what I was going for. He backed away from me and he was smiling. He turned and he was talking to the director. I couldn't read lips and I wasn't about to try.

"Alright, Tommy go over there and sit on the side of the bed. I am basically going to give you free reign in you're solo scenes." He said pointing to the bed in the fake apartment.

"Okay." He said. He had on a white t-shirt and dark blue jeans. He sat on the side of the bed and the music started.

(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
I'll go ahead and pour myself a drink
I really couldn't care less what you think
Well I don't have to listen now

I watched Tommy singing and my heart actually began to break because I knew the song was about me. Tommy stood up and walked over to the window and looked out of it. It had a fake view of the ocean.

Live this day down
If I can't feel a thing
You might as well save your goodbyes
We can give this train wreck one last ride
I'm gonna have to listen now
Live this day down
If I don't make things right
I'll tell you one last time

I just looked at him. I didn't make it obvious because I didn't want to distract him. He walked out of the room and walked to a cabinet and pulled out a glass and then went to the freezer and pulled out a bottle of fake vodka and poured it in the glass. He took a sip and then a few more.

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
So save your goodbye kiss
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)

Now, Tommy was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and was drinking again. He was looking at fake posed pictures of him and Alex. He was having to act like he did something wrong. He was a good actor, I would definitely give hi credit for that.

I woke up with a heartbeat in my head
I reached for the bottle by the bed
I saw your side was not slept in
Cold sheets again
Remind me of what you said
We need to take a break for a while
It's been so long since I smiled
I don't wanna listen now
Live this day down
With you so drunk and high
So I'll say goodbye

Tommy was now sitting on the floor with a guitar in his hands playing the song like he was writing it. He had a tear in his eye but, I didn't know why he did. Then Alex comes in while he is writing and just stand there. The place is a mess with beer bottles, and just plain out bottles everywhere. He notices her and he stares at her.

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't want to know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over

He puts the guitar down and walks over to her and he kisses her. Then she being the good girl and actress that she is pulls away and slaps him. He just stands there singing to her and then he collapses onto the ground.

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
Now I know I can't stay sober
Cause you left me here like this
I don't wanna know
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
So save your goodbye kiss
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
(I don't wanna know)
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
If it's over
I don't wanna know
If it's over
If it's over
I don't wanna know

In the end she walked away and he was left there on the ground and on his knees, the ending shot ended with a tear in Tommy's eye.

"And cut. That's a wrap ladies and gentlemen." The director yelled.

Tommy came over to me and I followed him into his dressing room while he was changing. I went over to him and I stopped him from taking his shirt off.

"Tommy, were you alright back there?"

"No, the fake model of the apartment was my old one, the one that I shared with Portia, and the one that I broke up with Angie in. It just brought back a lot of old memories." He said looking away from me. "I'm sorry I had to kiss her the way that I did. I was just acting."

"I know that." I said as I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head. I began to kiss him all over his chest and his neck. Then I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips, hard.

Tommy reached his hands under my shirt and undid the clasp of my bra, and then lifted my shirt over my head. I undid the belt on his pants and the zipper and they fell to the ground. Tommy lifted me up and I put my legs around his waist and he carefully lifted up my skirt and slid down my panties and carefully entered me. He moved us backwards against a wall and the next thing I knew I heard voices and camera's going off everywhere.

Apparently, we didn't lock the door and the press followed us in here, and they opened the door. I was shocked and Tommy was too. I had this look of oh shit mixed with scared on my face, and Tommy didn't look embarrassed but, he was pissed off.

End Flashback

That was two days ago. It has been everywhere on the news, in the papers, and on the internet. I was scared to even open the apartment door, and so was Tommy. Darius was in a frenzy and my parents were pissed. Karma loved it and so did Alex, considering that the press also had the picture of when Tommy kissed her while he was shooting the video.

Darius called every few hours to make sure that we were okay and to cuss us out. I had never pissed him off that bad, and I hoped that this would all blow over. But, I knew a hell of a lot better than that. Darius told us both the last time that he called we had to be in his office first thing in the morning.

I was scared shitless of what he would do to us. I didn't even want to know, my dad has shown up a few times trying to "talk" to both of us when we both knew that my dad was going to try and hit Tommy. We just ignored him and the house phone like we normally did. I just didn't want to think of what was going to happen when we walked into D's office