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Hold Chapter 2
I was in a comatose state for days. I didn't eat, I didn't move, I didn't do anything but sleep and stare at the wall at the right side of my bed.
My mom had come to talk to me several times. She would sit on my bed and try to get a few words out before she got completely exasperated and would get up and leave throwing her hands up in the air. After a while she just sat and rubbed my back and would cry. She just kept saying it.
"Why? Why are you doing this Leah? I don't understand, no one can help you if you don't tell us whats wrong."
I have to give my mother credit though, she held things together pretty well for my brother's sake. She told him not to worry, that I was just sick. She almost had even me convinced.
But then the memory slide show would start to play again. Those sick, twisted images of what had happened to me. I would hold onto myself tighter and tighter, I was mad at myself. I could have made it stop, I'm a freaking werewolf for crying out loud! A huge, giant, wild animal.
It hurt knowing I could have stopped it, and not only that but also that I probably knew this guy. He certainly knew me. He knew my name, he moaned it over and over again. He was probably from the reservation. I shudder at the thought.
I'm really starting to think God hates me, I mean just when things start to look up I get thrown into the worst of situations.
I thought my mother would keep my little meltdown in our house, but I was wrong. Because guess who showed up after school with my little brother?
I could hear Seth whispering to someone outside my door, I couldn't quite figure out who it was or what they were saying, but I knew someone was there. I was still staring at the wall, while laying on my side, so I didn't see the person when they opened the door and walked in. But then they closed the door behind them, which sent all the air to circulate back to me. So I could smell him, his woody masculine scent that I knew oh so well.
I pulled my knees up to my chest, curling into a ball as he drew near to my side. I could hear his heart beat, it was faster than normal. He felt scared for me.
"Hey, I heard you're not feeling too hot." He said trying to sound casual, but his voice had that uneasy lilt to it. "Mind if I chill with you?" He asked me.
I opened my mouth for the first time since it happened. "Jake..." I started sobbing and heaving, shaking uncontrollably, and I held myself tighter. I felt like I had to hold myself together, otherwise I would shatter into a million tiny pieces.
He sat next to me on the bed and touched my arm, in an affectionate way. "Leah, I don't think I've ever seen you cry before." He said to me. I felt his big strong arms try to wrap me up and comfort me, but that brought back the picture show.
I started screaming and kicking I did not want him touching me. I ended up sitting up in the opposite corner of my bed, shaking and looking at him as if he were deranged. I remember his face very distinctly. It was the worst mix of bewilderment and hurt. He had never touched me before, that I can remember, and if he had it was just a brush of the shoulder or something of the like.
I started crying again, and he sat there not knowing what to do. I was on the edge of hysterics when he finally decided to end my tears. He tenderly took my hands in his and held them to his face, which made me stop to see what it was he was doing.
"What... What..." I was blubbering at him and he smiled the little funny smile he had when he was trying to make you feel better, but he felt sorry for you at the same time.
"Leah, calm down. Just tell me what happened." he said, dropping my hands and reaching for my face. I shunned his hands, and looked at that stupid wall again.
"I..." I was reaching for words. I couldn't find any.
"Show me." he said. I knew he meant for me to phase.
"You don't want to see." I told him.
"It's an order, I can't have my Beta acting like this." He said trying to be comforting but at the same time demanding.
He took my hand and lead me to the edge of the woods in my back yard. The pictures started again and I tore off the clothes I had on. I had to tell someone how much it hurt, how much it pained me, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I had to tell him.
I let the transformation take over my body and he had seamlessly joined me. I let the floodgates go on my memories of what had happened to me. Each snapshot just flood out into the open, so he could see and feel them.
The clerk at the store handing me my change.
The ringing of the bell on the door as I opened it to step outside.
The edge of the tree line that I was about to go into to walk the shortcut home.
The sudden rip of my dress.
The burning hand on my arm.
The feeling of the rough tree bark as I was pushed against it.
The sudden, painful entry.
The moaning of my name.
The way he just ran off and left me alone.
Jake sat up and let and painful and angry howl escape into the sky.
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