I hate him. I really really hate him.
I don't care that he was the only one I could talk to. I don't care that he's my "Alpha." I don't care that he's caring about me. I just hate him.
He knows how much I can't stand them, all of them. Stupid bloodsuckers. For some reason, unknown to me, Jacob Black thinks that they're great. He goes over just to visit. I don't know how he can stand it, I mean there's the stench, the sugary sweetness of their personality that's obviously fake, and their overall creepiness.
But he's dragged me over here to be surrounded by the horrible smell, for hours. Yes, hours, I've been here forever just getting some stupid tests done. What would really help is if that stupid mind reader, went around town finding out who the fucker is! But that opinion was quickly shot down by Jacob's wide-eyed and panicked expression in the car as we drove over.
The ride itself was quite awkward. Jacob drove me over to the Cullen's in his little rabbit. Which was sort of comical, since two giant werewolves were crammed into his tiny car. But other than that for the longest time I just stared out the window.
Jacob and I hadn't really talked much since I showed him in the forest what had happened to me. Jacob would talk to me, but I wouldn't answer him. I felt ashamed about what had happened to me. I didn't want to talk about it at all. I mean, I feel that now that I've told someone, I shouldn't have to deal with it anymore. I feel like what I need to do is just forget all about it.
And of course, Jacob brings it up every few minutes like a freaking egg timer. He thinks I should talk to someone about it, I just want to forget it, he wants me to stop classes, I don't want to. I still want a life! I've waited forever to get over this stupid werewolf curse, and I am not going to just give up on what I've worked on.
Jacob had to use his Alpha command on me just to get me to see the Cullen doctor. I crossed my arms and pouted the entire time. But as he pulled up the drive and put the car in park, he turned to me and said me the words that cut me to the bone.
"Leah..." He trailed off and looked down at his big hands in his lap, obviously searching for words. "I know that you and I are totally different people. I'm not oblivious to our fighting, we're doing it right now. But I want you to know that I care about you, I'm your friend. I want to be there for you." He said, looking into my eyes, boring into my soul.
I just looked at him for a while, not moving or speaking. I narrowed my eyes, deciding to be strong, cynical bitch Leah instead of hurt and scared Leah, which was what I really was.
"Jacob, just shut up so I can get this over with." I said through gritted teeth, putting on the tough front again. I opened the door and did an exaggeration of gagging from the smell before slamming it behind me.
I looked up at that ridiculous glass house, that held those stupid vamps and snarled my nose. I figured the mind reader could already hear my thoughts and started to think about how annoying his little spawn was, making sure to refer to her as the evil spawn in my thoughts. I loved getting under his skin.
As if on cue, Edward stepped outside and held the door for Jacob and I to come in. When he looked at me, he didn't look annoyed like he usually did, but he had a sad, sorry look on his face. I cursed him in my head for feeling sorry for me. I didn't want that bloodsucker feeling sorry for me, I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I knew I wasn't meant to be happy, God made it that way. People didn't have to rub it in, by giving me the 'I'm so sorry look' when they saw me.
I gave that 'Edward' a nice glare and sent him a big fat finger in my thoughts, as I followed Jacob inside the house. The chirpy one skipped to my side, and took my hand in hers, and held it to her chest. Which is ironic, because the gesture is meant to bring it close to your heart, to show you that you feel for the person with your heart. And since she's a vamp, she DOESN'T HAVE ONE! Ugh! I'm so sick of these bloodsuckers trying to befriend me and do human things as if they are one.
The girl, Alice I guess her name is, got that sad look on her face too and started to talk to me. "Oh, Leah! Edward told me all about it! Oh how I wish I could see your future dear! I definitely would have done something, Oh I'm so sorry." She said to me, grasping my hand in hers.
"Gee, thanks." I hissed at her, with my eyes in slits. I felt Jake's grip on my other arm, tighten and I turned away from her, going up the stairs after him. And here I am, now. Sitting in this little room waiting on Carlisle to come back to me.
I knew that Jake was probably downstairs playing with that little spawn, she was probably giggling and he was doing something stupid. My heart always sank when I thought of him playing with that little girl. I hated little kids now. I didn't actually hate hate them, just the fact that I couldn't have any. I didn't watch them at all. It just the same old, want what you can't have.
I was burst out of my pity bubble when Cullen came in to tell me what my tests showed. He pulled up a chair across from me and sat down. He flipped through a pile of papers in his hands and then he sighed.
"What? Do I have an STD? I mean, I have super speed healing right? So shouldn't I just get over it?" I asked him, as fear crept into my body, I sat on the edge of the couch and held my breath waiting for him to say something.
He sighed again and then looked up at me with the same expression his son and daughter had held for me. I balled my fists in reaction to the look he gave me. He stood up suddenly, and walked out of the room and called for Jacob to come up. He added Edward's name at the end too. I stood up myself, My fists clenched so tightly I could feel the warm blood coming out of the crescents that my nails were digging into my palms.
I could hear Jake bounding up the stairs, and my heart started pounding in my chest. I knew Edward was probably behind him, but naturally, since he was a vamp, you couldn't hear him. They both came through the door at the same time, Edward looked up at Carlisle, and Jake looked up at me. The look on Jacob's face was much worse than the looks the Cullens had given me, he looked scared shitless.
I watched Edward for clues as to what was going on, but he didn't give anything away, he just held that sad look on his face for me to see. I knew this had to be bad, he had called in the two of them, probably to keep he held down if I lost it or something.
The Cullen doc motioned for the guys to sit down and then he asked me to sit down in between them on that couch. The doc closed his eyes, and sighed again.
"Go ahead and tell her Carlisle. She's getting antsy." Edward said, breaking the silence. Carlisle opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Well, the good news is that you are healthy, you don't have any diseases." He said, and then he got very serious. I noticed Edward looked over at Jake, nervously but I pushed it aside.
"God, just tell me!" I yelled at him. The intensity of Carlilse's stare maddened me, I heard the couch rip under my hands, I was gripping onto it so hard.
"Well, I don't really know how to say it kindly. I'm just struggling for words. I've told other people in your situation this before, but I didn't know them, those people weren't my friends. Leah..." He sighed again, before he crushed my world.
