Whew, another chapter done in record time! (I hope this makes up for the month-long wait for the last chapter lol) Also I tried to make this one a little longer, I'm not too good at long chapters ^_^
"Do you want me to stay with you today? Oikawa?" Iwaizumi sighed. "Oikawa, wake up."
Oikawa blinked blearily up at Iwaizumi. "'M awake," he mumbled, "Why are you calling me 'Oikawa' again?"
Crap. Iwaizumi had hoped that the setter had forgotten about that. It was killing him to act like this all the time, to live with and cook for and sleep beside Oikawa, and now call him by his given name, and yet know that none of it mattered to Oikawa in the same way it did for Iwaizumi. "Sorry...Tooru," Iwaizumi muttered, hoping that if he ignored the heat on his face, the blush wouldn't show. But this closeness is what he needs, Iwaizumi reminded himself, quit being so selfish, Hajime.
Oikawa had already rolled over in bed, facing away from Iwaizumi now. "I'm good now," he said, Iwaizumi straining to hear his voice, which was muffled by the pillow. "You go to school, Iwa-chan. I can handle one more day before the weekend."
Iwaizumi hesitated. "Are you sure?"
With a heavy groan, Oikawa turned back over to give the spiker a sleepy roll of his eyes. "Yes, Iwa-chan, I'm sure. I promise I'll call you if I need anything, ok?"
"Ok," Iwaizumi reluctantly agreed, feeling a twinge of worry as he turned to leave. He didn't exactly trust Oikawa to take care of himself in his current state―which, well, Iwaizumi would only be lying to himself if he said that Oikawa's mental state after what he'd been through wasn't concerning Iwaizumi―but if Oikawa wanted to be alone...Then who am I to tell him he can't? Iwaizumi inwardly sighed.
"Wait, Iwa-chan," Oikawa blurted out, the words quick and breathless. Iwaizumi immediately halted and turned back around, only to see the team captain's gaze sliding to the side as he whispered, "Never mind. Just go, and...tell the team I said hi."
Iwaizumi gave a hesitant nod and then, as much as it pained his heart to leave Oikawa home alone, he finally walked out the bedroom door for good.
Oikawa let out a long, pent-up breath as he watched Iwaizumi leave. He sat, still as stone in the bed, until he heard the front door open and close. "It's just one lousy day," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "I'm not a kid, I can spend one day alone." Though I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't miss Iwa-chan when he's not here, Oikawa thought, running a hand over his face.
He thought back to the night before, to the angry red cuts and bruises in Iwaizumi's skin. "He really did do that for me," Oikawa said with a dry, humorless laugh. "I hope I get to see Ushiwaka with the injuries Iwa-chan must've given him." Suddenly he froze, picturing Ushiwaka's face, staring down at him with that same dull, unregretful, unapologetic look in his stupid blank eyes. Oikawa heard a strange hissing noise, then realized it was his own breathing as he sucked the air through his teeth, fists gripping the sheets as he fought to get the image of the Shiratorizawa team captain out of his head.
"Think of something else," Oikawa told himself, his own strained voice only making him more nervous. "Volleyball. Seijou. Iwa-chan. I'd even take Tobio-chan to get my mind off this." He tried to breathe deeply, but Ushiwaka was still in his head, talking to him, moving closer, close enough to touch him, to― "No, no, nonono," Oikawa moaned, "Anything, think of anything, anything else!" The hysterical sob in his voice did nothing to calm his heartbeat, which felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. He could almost feel his ribcage vibrating with the intensity of each thu-THUMP, thu-THUMP, shaking his insides.
Oikawa forced himself to open his eyes and stare at the ceiling above him. "No Ushiwaka there," he managed to say in between his panicked breaths, attempting to reassure himself of the irrational fear, "No Ushiwaka here, no Ushiwaka near me…"
His phone rang.
A terrified sound left his throat, sounding something like a cross between a yelp and a hysterical laugh, and Oikawa snaked out an arm to grab his phone from his nightstand and hurl it at the wall. With an earsplitting CRACK, the cell phone smacked into the wall and promptly fell onto the floor, landing in its own shards of broken screen.
His phone rang.
"No, no, no," Oikawa muttered to himself, shaking his head at the still-ringing phone. "No, no, you're broken, you're broken, you're gone, you can't hurt me, stop ringing!" he suddenly screamed, throwing his pillow at the ruined phone on the floor. He wasn't sure if the pillow landed anywhere near the phone, because at the very second it left his hand, a wave of dizziness crashed into Oikawa's head and he doubled over, retching.
His phone rang.
Oikawa choked on his own stomach acid, which shoved itself up his throat and spilled out onto the floor beside the bed. His shoulders heaved, his chest aching for air as he kept vomiting, the nausea refusing to let him out of its grip. Before long his stomach was empty, but the terrifying sense of vertigo was not yet gone and his entire body shook with dry heave after dry heave. Darkness swam in front of his eyes, and hot tears blurred what little vision he had around it.
His phone rang.
He shook, his entire body trembling violently, shudders running through him again and again. His chest fluttered with quick, shallow breaths that seemed to do nothing but aggravate his lungs. His throat tightened around every inhale, wheezing uncomfortably around the precious air. He heard a knock at the door. The terror coursing through his veins seemed to peak. Oikawa fought to draw in one more gulp of air as the dizziness increased and the darkness took over his vision. His fingers were strangely numb as his body convulsed in on itself, his mind finally going blank as his overloaded brain shut down. Oikawa fell against the bed, his consciousness gone and his heart racing.
Iwaizumi couldn't shake the horrible feeling that had been lingering around him since he'd left Oikawa that morning. The feeling didn't go away throughout the entire school day, and Iwaizumi sent a quick text to Oikawa just before volleyball practice, asking if he was ok. He was surprised when his phone buzzed back almost immediately, but his worry only increased when he read the text: 'Sorry, the number you are trying to reach is currently out of service.'
Iwaizumi glanced up to see Hanamaki looking at him, a curious expression on his face. "You look worried," the strawberry-haired third-year remarked, then gestured towards Iwaizumi's phone as he asked, "Everything ok?"
With a sigh, Iwaizumi showed Hanamaki the text he'd just received, responding with a strained, "I don't know." Hanamaki squinted at the screen, then shrugged.
"He probably just dropped his phone or something. I'm sure he's fine." Hanamaki looked up to meet Iwaizumi's eyes.. Iwaizumi wasn't sure if it showed on his own face, but there was a heavy dose of fear running through him as his mind raced, trying to imagine what could have happened to Oikawa's phone. Hanamaki hesitated, his eyes searching Iwaizumi's. "Do you...want to go check on him?" he asked, his voice unsure.
Iwaizumi tugged a hand through his hair. "I do, but…" he glanced around the locker room, where the rest of the team was just about finished changing and were beginning to focus on Iwaizumi's and Hanamaki's conversation. Iwaizumi lowered his voice slightly as he finished, "but I can't leave the team again."
Matsukawa suddenly appeared behind Hanamaki, whispering something in the other third-year's ear. Hanamaki nodded, a soft smile on his face, then said to Iwaizumi, "You go take care of our precious captain, alright? We'll take care of the team for today. Oikawa'll be fine by next week, right?" He brightened his smile to make up for Iwaizumi's lack of response, then said, "Also, Mattsun and I need to talk to you. Over the weekend, I mean. It's about…" he glanced around, seeing other teammates' curious eyes on him, and vaguely finished, "well...you'll find out, I suppose. Just don't forget to call us, ok?"
"Ok, but―" Iwaizumi stammered, but Hanamaki had already picked up Iwaizumi's bag and was shoving it into the spiker's arms.
"You go to Oikawa, alright?" Hanamaki ordered with a conspiratorial smile, which unnerved Iwaizumi somehow. "Mattsun and I have this."
"Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whined under his breath, wishing he could call his friend. The ringing in his ears echoed until it sounded like the ringing of his phone, which he knew was impossible, since he'd already destroyed it. He glared at the broken pieces against the wall, as if it was their own fault―which, in a way, it was. Oikawa felt like a mess; he was skittish, jumping at every noise and movement and shadow in his room. He hadn't left his bed for the entire day. His heart wouldn't stop racing, and though he'd finally gained control of his breath after he'd passed out, it still felt as though his lungs didn't want to be filled with air.
With a shaky exhale, Oikawa lifted a trembling hand to wipe at the tears that had been continuously streaming down his face. His eyes felt dried out and puffy, and his throat felt thick and swollen from all the crying. There was a rock in his chest, weighing him down and making it only that much harder to inhale. I never should've told Iwa-chan to go, Oikawa thought to himself, feeling regret pool with the self-hatred over his own disgusting selfishness in his already too-heavy chest, I should've known I couldn't handle a day without him, I need him too badly. I'm such a horrible person, taking over his life like that. I'm so selfish. I should be better by now. Ushiwaka was right. I am weak.
He huddled in on himself, trembling uncontrollably, his teeth clacking together from the force of the violent shudders that ran through his body. As his fear urged him to embrace his self-centered greed, Oikawa whimpered, "Iwa-chan...I need you."
So I did some research after I wrote this and I realized that it's incredibly rare to faint during a panic attack, since fainting requires low blood pressure and panic attacks tend to raise a person's blood pressure, but the fainting thing worked in my story so I hope you can all just ignore the fact that it's a little untrue.
Anyway, review please, tell me what you think!