Ode to a Christmas Sweater
Every year my mother, Esme,
gives me a Christmas sweater that I must display.
One year it had bells that jingle,
another had electricity that made me tingle.
The one that was covered in cats,
was definitely better than the one that
made my arms look like I had tats.
The sweater that was my favorite by far,
was the year it was covered in really cool cars.
My least favorite in all of its glory,
was a sweater depicting A Christmas Story.
It had a leg lamp and shade with black fringe,
oh how that sweater did make me cringe.
Though that wasn't the year that made me itch,
that sweater made me land my car in a ditch.
I learned I'm allergic to polyester,
just like my Great Uncle Hester.
Dear Lord, please let this year's sweater,
be significantly better.
Although this year I'm willing to admit,
that I can guarantee I won't be throwing a fit.
I'm still one lucky fella
because Alice decided to personally dress Bella.
She took it upon herself,
to dress Bella as a sexy elf!