We usher in this Christmas with a new stocking in the Teddy and Charmer household. Charmer aka Isabella, my wife, has given me the best joy a man could ask for. Thank you, sweetheart.
Now, as is tradition in the T&C family, we bring you the highlights of the year 2017:
• To no one's surprise Grammie Tabbie promptly fainted when Charmer's brother Ben brought Eric, his boyfriend, home for the New Years party.
• Charmer and the Newton's new puppy Jessie don't see eye to eye anymore, since Jessie pissed in her boots for a week straight.
• In an update about Teddy's ongoing battle with Stella the skillet: Skillet - 26, Teddy - 0. (Sorry, babe. You tried hard but Valentine breakfast pancakes were charcoal.)
• Foosball tables are rad. (Making snacks for Foosball nights, isn't.)
• Charmer finally admitted defeat from the lawn mower and Mike mowed the lawn in the summer months. (Until Teddy decided to gift him a t-shirt with "Jailbait" printed on it.)
• Teddy's sister Alice finally made an underwear model out of him. Photographic evidence has been duly destroyed. (Or so he thinks.)
• Search is on for the Cinderella that left the red thong on the stairs during T&C's housewarming party. (Charmer is looking for the same pattern of lace in black and she says the thong looks customised and she wants to know who the maker is.)
• Papa Swan has given up on all things chocolate sauce since he found a bottle on our bedside table.
• T&C are now godparents to the beautiful Emmaline. How Emmett could make such a beautiful person is unsolved.
• The porn surfer from Charmer's workplace is back to surfing after three months of clean chit due to his official warning. He's weirder now. (We never thought it was possible either.)
• Charmer eats pickles now. (With whipped cream.)
• Teddy has learnt the art of foot rubs. (Purely for survival.)
• Teddy broke the toe-nail of his pinky toe. Jessie hid under the Newtons' couch because Teddy howled so loud, the mayor probably heard it.
• Baby T&C is a kicker.
That's it for this year, thank you for indulging us in this silly newsletter. Wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
With love,
Teddy & Charmer
(Edward and Isabella Masen