A/N: So this update is super, super, super long overdue. I honestly had no clue it had been going on two and a half years since the last update until I started working on this story again and had to reread it in order to make sure I got everything right. Whoops. That was never intentional, but life happened and other stories happened, but this story has been begging to be worked on for months. So here's the next chapter :) I am so sorry it took so long, but I hope whoever is still reading enjoys this.

Not gonna lie, I have no idea if I responded to any of the signed-in reviews for the last chapter. If I didn't, I'm so sorry. I've always tried to make a point to reply to reviews because, hello, what fanfic author doesn't like reading reviews for their stories? Just know that I read every single one, and I appreciate them :)

As for the un-signed reviews...:

bubblegum pop: His confession was a long time coming, right? Sorry the update didn't happen soon at all, but here it is finally :) And thank you for the review!

Nessy: Your pleas for the next chapter did not go unnoticed. Thank you for the reviews! :)

Jatie3: Sorry about the belated update...But thank you for reviewing! :)

Guest: Once again, sorry about the lack of updates...But I appreciate the review!

Kat: You think that's what's going to happen? Thank you for reviewing! :)

On with the chapter!

Chapter Eleven

Katie's POV

Kendall was the first one to break the silence: "What the actual fuck?"

Camille grinned triumphantly. "I knew it! I knew he had a thing for Katie."

"Oh my God. Oh my God." It was all I could think of to say. James had had a crush on me. James had liked me. And apparently James had had a sex dream or two about me. "Oh my God."

"I can't believe James liked Katie!" Kendall cried. "That's so – that's just – that's so wrong!"

"How do you think I feel?" I demanded, getting to my feet. "This whole thing is so fucked up. I'm leaving."

"Wait – Katie – " Camille protested, standing up as well. "Don't go – "

I just shook my head, grabbed my coat and purse, and made my way outside. I found James alone, slumped against his car.

"Where's Keira?" I asked, my voice cracking through the silence.

"At the end of the driveway. She's waiting for a cab to come pick her up."

"What? Why? Didn't you two come together?"

James gave me a long look. "She doesn't want to ride home with me. Apparently finding out that the girl I've been hanging out with is the girl who I had a thing for in high school hurt her. She said she's moving out tonight, she's not staying with me."

"And you're just standing there, letting her get away?"

"What do you want me to do, Katie? Keira and I aren't together anymore, we haven't been for going on two months. There's nothing there anymore."

"Look, it was just a stupid high school crush, right? Nothing more than that?" I peered up into his face, one side bathed in the light echoing through the house windows, and the other half in deep shadows. I knew I was searching for something, but I wasn't sure what it was – and I didn't know what I wanted him to say. If he told me his feelings went deeper than just a high school crush, than that would complicate things. And if he told me his feelings had been nothing but a high school crush, than that would mean that my feelings, whatever they happened to be, were unrequited. But either way, one of us was going to end up hurt. And from the way James was staring back at me, it had already happened.

After a heavy pause, he spoke. "Yeah, Katie. It was just a stupid high school crush. It's done and over with. So don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to marry me or anything. You don't have to pretend you like me as a person to make me feel better. I'm fine. Okay?"

It was so incredibly easy to ignore the way my chest seemed to squeeze, like my heart was curling into the fetal position. So incredibly easy to pretend that my stomach didn't ache, or that my throat didn't feel like it was closing in around a lump in my throat. At least, that was what I told myself as I nodded, acting like I wasn't about to burst into tears. Acting like I wasn't having an epiphany six years too late.

"Okay," I said once my voice was steady enough for me to speak. "No problem. It probably wasn't even a crush. Just a little attraction. Right?" And there I was, giving him a way out, because I didn't want to admit that I had quite possibly lost something that I could have had. I couldn't be like Camille and Logan, so determined to throw away everything that they had once had because of a mistake. I couldn't do it. And I couldn't let James know that I was beginning to fall for him, because that would just remind him of high school and how we had treated each other. How I had treated him.

"Yeah. Nothing for you to worry about," James told me, lips twisting up in a curve that wasn't quite a smile, and wasn't quite a grimace. "I'm not going to come onto you. I mean, no more than I already have," he added quickly, apparently remembering that he'd been propositioning me every few days for the past couple weeks.

"Good to know." I gave him a stiff smile back.

Headlights flared from the end of the driveway, and I saw a dark figure climbing into a taxi cab.

"I guess Kiera's gone," James said with a small sigh. "Not exactly how I thought this would end, but…"

"You said you guys have been over for almost two months," I pointed out.

"But like you've been saying, we've been sleeping together, and she's been staying with me."

"Did you want to get back together with her?" I asked, my stomach twisting into a pretzel.

"I don't know. Maybe." He ran his fingers through his hair. "The sex was hot."

I rolled my eyes. "And of course, that's all that matters in a meaningful relationship."

"You and Preston had really shitty sex, and you guys didn't last."

"Yes, but that's because he's an arrogant bastard prick-face. We could've made it work, but he went and cheated on me while I was out of town. It had nothing to do with crappy sex."

"Are you sure?" James quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Because if he'd been enjoying sleeping with you, he probably wouldn't have gone after another girl."

"It's not like he was getting any from me on a regular basis," I snorted. "He didn't want to wait around. We weren't meant to be, James. Preston was a mistake, one I regret every day."

"Well, I don't regret Kiera."

"Did you love her? Do you love her?"

He raised his head slightly, gaze piercing mine. "No. There's only one person who I've ever loved, and it wasn't her. But maybe I could've fallen in love with her if we'd stayed together."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I'm sorry that this happened."

"It's not your fault. I mean, except for being so fucking fuckable in high school."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to head home now. Are we still taking Camille to the psychic fair?"

"Yes. I did not sit through that damn party for nothing."

"Technically we didn't even go to the party to try to get Camille and Logan back together. We went because Camille's our friend," I pointed out.

"And I would've been more than happy to skip it. Damn being a good friend."

I rolled my eyes. "Admit it, James. Sometimes you're not a total asshole."

"Fine. I admit it. Sometimes I'm only half an asshole."

"Uh huh. I'm heading home. I'll see you later."

"See you at the psychic fair," he added, grinning for the first time in at least an hour.

I shook my head and made my way to the car, but couldn't resist glancing over my shoulder at him. Our eyes met and my breath caught in my throat.

Fucking hell. I had a fucking crush on James fucking Diamond. Fuck.

I heard the guitar riff of James' ringtone, and I turned around almost curiously, wondering who was calling him when our friends were still inside, at the party. He answered, and even in the dim light I could see the color drain from his face. Before I could stop myself I was approaching him once more. I reached him just as he hung up.

"This night just keeps getting better and better," he commented, voice dry and bitter.

I shivered as a distinct chill swept through the air. The wind was icy, and I knew what was coming: Snow. "Who was that?"

"My landlord. I just got evicted."

"What? Why?"

"I didn't ask to have Keira stay with me. The landlord caught Keira in my apartment, wanted to know why she was there, and she told him. And now he's pissed. So guess who gets to move out tonight."

I frowned. "That doesn't seem fair. You were just trying to help her out."

"Plus she said she'd come up with part of the rent," he responded. "Because I was barely making ends meet as it is, even with your help and the job with your mom. Fuck!" He raked his fingers through his hair. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I'm still pretty much broke. I can't afford a hotel, I doubt I'm going to be able to find another apartment – "

"Stay with me." The words were out of my mouth before they even formed in my head. I bit down hard on my tongue. I was a masochist. Clearly that was the only reason why I had just invited James Diamond to move into my apartment.

He stared at me. "It's official. You've gone insane."

"Yeah, and you drove me there. Stay with me. Mrs. Fields loves you, she'll totally let you stay. You can sleep on the couch, and we'll figure out a way to split the rent."

"Katie – "

I held up my hand. "Don't argue with me. Come on, let's go get your stuff. How much do you have?"

He barked out a laugh. "What can fit in a couple of suitcases and a backpack."

"Then it shouldn't take you long to pack."

Ten minutes later, we were parking our cars outside Maple Garden apartments. It was a motel-style complex, with rickety staircases leading from outside walks up to the different levels.

"Why was your landlord even snooping around your apartment?" I asked James once we were out of our cars.

"He wasn't. He got a call from one resident complaining about a married couple next door fighting, so he came out to check on them. That's when he saw Keira. Oh, there he is." He nodded in the direction of the second floor, where a short, squat man stood in front of a door marked 2B. James led me up to the man, and introduced me to Rick, the landlord who was kicking him out.

"Another girl, eh?" Rick squinted his eyes at me. "Pretty girl, but a bit too skinny. But if you ditched the other one for her, that's your business."

James rolled his eyes. "I didn't ditch the other one for her. Katie's a…she's…um…"

"I'm a friend," I said firmly, mostly to keep Rick from asking any more questions. "I'm not his fuck buddy, I'm not his girlfriend, I'm just someone who he's going to be staying with for a little while."

"Hey, what you two do is your business. I don't know why you're denying it."

I opened my mouth furiously, but James beat me to it. "Can we go in? Since I'm evicted, I might as well start packing."

Rick let us into the apartment, and we stepped in. James flipped on the lights and began to gather up his stuff while I looked around. It was just a garden variety apartment, with a living room that doubled as a dining room, a hallway kitchen, a small bedroom, and a bathroom. There was a sliding door just off the dining room that led out to a small balcony, on which sat a single plastic lawn chair. The furnishings were simple and cheap, and there wasn't even a TV.

I helped James gather up what was left of his food and set it in a single cooler, before carefully placing his books and scripts into a backpack. And the entire time we packed everything up, Rick watched us.

"I'm glad I decided to stay with you two," he said as we finished zipping up the suitcase. He lit a cigarette. "Who knows what you two would've gotten up to in here?" He glanced pointedly towards the bedroom, and I glared. What the hell was up with everyone thinking James and I were sleeping together?!

James rolled his eyes, and we hauled everything out. Rick locked up the apartment and James handed him the key. "I don't have the spare one."

"I got it from the other girl," Rick told him.

"Do I get my deposit back?"

"Hell no. Not when you broke one of the rules. Just be glad I'm only going to charge you half a month's rent."

James glared at him, but kept his mouth shut. The situation was already bad enough without any of us making it worse.

It had begun to snow in the time we had been inside the apartment. We carefully made our way over to James' car and slung everything into the trunk.

Once we were back at my apartment, we quickly roused Mrs. Fields and explained the situation to her. She was more than happy to let James stay with me, though she did offer him her bed if he got tired of sleeping on the couch. James hightailed it right out of there.

We were both exhausted but so wired that we ended up getting him unpacked and settled in, before collapsing on the couch with a bag of chips and a couple of beers. We didn't talk about the events of the night. We didn't talk about the Steve-Camille-Logan triangle. After the insanity of the night, it was nice to just curl up on the couch and relax in front of late night cartoons.

We must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing I knew silvery light was shimmering in through the window, and I had a huge ass crick in my neck. Sounds emanated from the kitchen, and I slowly pushed myself to my feet and staggered from the living room. James was standing at the stove, flipping pancakes and frying bacon.

"You want your eggs over easy?" he asked once he saw I was awake.

I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Making breakfast.

"I see that but…why?"

"Because I'm hungry. And I had half a box of pancake mix left, so I figured I'd use it up. I had the bacon and eggs, too, which is a good thing since all you have are ramen noodles and Lean Cuisine TV dinners."

I sputtered indignantly. "I like my Lean Cuisine dinners!"

"Yeah, but it kind of looks like they're all you're eating. You have pretty much nothing else in the fridge or the freezer. Oh, wait, I did find a container of yogurt. It kind of looked like it might be a science experiment, so I threw it out."

I glared at him. "Remind me again why I invited you to stay with me?"

He flashed me a grin. "Moment of weakness?"

"Must have been." With a growl I stomped off to my bathroom so that I could shower and change out of the clothes from the night before.

By the time I had showered, thrown on leggings and an oversized sweatshirt and pulled my hair up in a messy bun, breakfast was on the table. James' eyes swept over me when I entered the room, and for a split second something almost indefinable crossed his face. But then it was gone, and I was left wondering if I had imagined it.

But the food was amazing. Boxed pancake mix had never tasted so good, and James cooked bacon the way I liked it, nice and crispy and just a little on the burnt side. He had even made a teapot of Earl Grey tea, my favorite tea to drink on weekend mornings. The little gas fireplace in my living room was going, warming up the apartment, and outside it was still snowing. But inside it was nice and peaceful, and sitting at the dining room table, eating breakfast and drinking tea felt almost luxurious. And as much as I hated to admit it, having James there made it even better.

I was already starting to hate this stupid crush.

"You know we missed church," James commented as he swiped a piece of bacon through egg yolk.

"Shit. Guess that means we don't have to go to brunch with my grandmother."

"Sounds good to me. Anyway, I'm going to run down to the store to get some more food. I am not living off of Lean Cuisine meals, and neither are you."

I gaped at him. "You wouldn't say that if I was living off frozen pizza."

"Probably. But you're not, so I'm getting us actual food."

"It's snowing."

"Newsflash, Katie – this is northern Minnesota. Driving in snow up here is like driving in rain in Washington or Oregon. Think about it."

I sighed. "Okay, fine."

Once the kitchen was cleaned up and the leftovers put away, James and I headed out to the nearest grocery store. I provided the money, and he provided the manpower when it came to pushing the cart. He also had a much better idea of what we needed than I did. I usually just made a pit stop in the soup section and the frozen dinner aisle before calling it good. He actually insisted we buy fruit and vegetables. He selected a couple of chickens, a roast, a couple cartons of eggs, a salmon, and a bag of frozen shrimp. Potatoes and rice were added to this, along with cans of cream of mushroom soup for gravy.

By the time we got in line at a checkout stand, the cart was filled to the brim, and we had enough food to last us a couple weeks.

We stopped by Walmart on the way back to my apartment so that we could pick up an air mattress for James, so that he wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. And then James reminded me that we needed an air compressor if I didn't want to blow up the mattress like a balloon. That was added to the cart. We also grabbed bedding and a couple of other things he needed.

The trunk of his car was jammed full of groceries and bedding by the time we headed home.

Once everything was put away, James banished me from the kitchen and got to work on dinner. I set out clothes for work for the next day before plopping down on the couch. Before long delicious smells were wafting out from the kitchen, and I wandered in to see what he was making.

He looked at me. "Yes?"

"What's for dinner?"

"Chicken and dumplings. And yes, I remembered that you don't like cooked celery, so I didn't put any in."

My mouth watered. I hadn't had chicken and dumplings since I was 18, before I had moved out of my parents' house to go to college. But my mom used to make chicken and dumplings on cold, snowy nights like this one, and I would forever associate it with cozy evenings around the dinner table with my family. It was comfort food at its best, and James knew this, because he had spent quite a few of those nights with us while his mom had stayed cooped up in her office at Diamond Cosmetics headquarters, pretending that she didn't have a son.

I wasn't the only one who associated chicken and dumplings with familial comfort.

"Thanks," was all I could think to say.

"It's going to be a cold winter," he commented, looking out the window. "Not gonna lie, I'm kind of glad I'm here. My apartment's heater was pretty shitty."

"Yeah, I keep my apartment pretty warm."

James checked on the food. "It's just about ready. Go out to the dining room."

I did so, and within a couple of minutes we were sitting at the table with huge bowls of steaming chicken and dumpling soup in front of us.

For a few minutes there was silence except for the sounds of us slurping up our food. But as I finished my bowl, I spoke: "Can I ask you something?"

James cut his eyes to me for a brief moment. "I suppose."

"You didn't get the role of Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, did you?" He hadn't mentioned it since the Sunday before the audition, and I hadn't thought much about it until I'd seen the script the night before when we were packing up his stuff. It had been a little dusty and had been under a couple of books, like he was hoping to forget it even existed.

There was a long pause as he swallowed his mouthful of food deliberately. "No. No, I didn't."

"Why? You were sure you had it in the bag."

"I should've, but I guess I didn't play Benedick the way the director wanted me to."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. And it's because of you that I have a job."

"Yeah, but still. That really sucks."

He shrugged. "I'm an actor. I'm used to rejection and disappointment. I'm used to failure."

"That's not a failure," I protested. "It was a – a fluke."

His lips twitched. "You've never failed at anything in your life, have you? You were a straight A student in high school, you were the editor of the paper by your junior year, you were on the student council. You have a college degree and if it wasn't for your ex boyfriend you'd have a decent job. You're not jumping from temp job to temp job, hoping for your big break. You didn't have to move back to your hometown because of a mistake. You didn't come back to your hometown after thinking you had escaped it forever."

I sat in silence, gaping at him. How the hell did you respond to a spiel like that?

"You have made one mistake in your life, and that was Preston Gates. And it was an understandable mistake."

"No, it wasn't. It was a stupid one. I knew better. And I knew I knew better." I finished my food and pushed my chair back, the legs scraping against the floor. "Since you made dinner, I'll clean up the kitchen."

He opened his mouth, maybe to protest, maybe to make a smartass comment, but I didn't give him the chance. Instead I slipped into the kitchen and began putting away the leftovers.

The next few days passed by in a blur of snow, work, and James' excellent cooking. We did our best to plot out our next plan of attack for Logan and Camille, but it was halfhearted. Neither of us could quite muster up the energy to try to bring back two people who were determined to not be brought together. And there was nothing we could do about that.

Nevertheless, we finalized our plans to go to the psychic fair with Camille on Saturday. Neither of us really thought anything would happen there, but it was better than doing nothing.

On Friday evening I came home from work to find James slaving over roast beef, baked potatoes, and baked green beans, asparagus, and carrots. As always, the food was excellent, and I finished eating feeling more satisfied than I ever had with my frozen meals.

It was a cold night, dipping into single digit temperatures, and the wind whistled past the windows eerily. I huddled on the couch, a fleece blanket draped over my legs as I watched TV. The week had been long. Preston had assigned me a story about people protesting the sales of turkeys outside different grocery stores. I had spent the last five days standing outside, ankle deep in snow, trying to get the protestors to talk to me so that I could piece together a story. It hadn't been until yesterday that I had finally managed to get a hold of the organizer. In any case, I still hadn't completely warmed up, and I was exhausted and frustrated from trying to deal with a bunch of crackpots who actually had time to protest turkey legs.

James joined me on the couch, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. He passed me one and I took a sip. It was homemade, and I could just taste a hint of Irish cream. I raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"I figured you could use a bit of alcohol after the last week. Are you warming up? Do you want me to turn the fireplace up?"

"Well, I no longer feel like my nose is going to fall off, so I must be warming up a little."

James turned the fireplace up a couple more notches before joining me on the couch. I fluffed out the blanket so that it covered both of us, and his leg pressed against mine. It felt warm and hard and comforting, even better than the hot chocolate.

"Do you know what the difference is between hot chocolate and hot cocoa?" he asked me as he settled in.

I shook my head. "Explain."

"Hot chocolate is homemade, and hot cocoa is made from a mix."

"Really. Interesting." I took another sip of my hot chocolate.

He reached over, pressing his hand to mine. "You're still cold."

"Gee, I wonder why," I grumbled. "Not like I was standing outside in the snow for eight hours, trying to talk to a bunch of idiots."

"So, instead of just giving you crappy stories, Preston is now trying to kill you."

"That about sums it up."

"That was a bunch of bullshit. Those protestors could have turned violent and you could've been caught in the middle."

"I doubt it," I snorted. "I think most of them were just bored and needed something to do."

"Still. You need to quit, Katie. He's just going to keep assigning you worse and worse stories, and eventually you really will get hurt. And you're good enough at your job that you could find another one in a matter of seconds." He snapped his fingers to emphasize his point. "You have no responsibility to him anymore. You can't stay."

I didn't say anything to that, and he sighed. "You're so fucking stubborn. Admit it, you're only staying to spite Preston."

"Maybe."

"You are. And this is toxic. Look at you – you're a little midget icicle."

I glowered at him, but I didn't protest. Except for the little midget part, he was right. And I really hated that.

James glowered back at me, before brightening slightly. "Anyway, I have an audition on Tuesday for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying at the theatre in Deprois," he said, naming a nearby city.

"Really? For which character?"

"J. Pierrepoint Finch," he told me, eyes sparkling with excitement. "I don't know if I'll get it, but at least I have a chance. It's only off-Broadway, so it's nothing serious, but it's something, and if I get it at least I'll be known at the theatre."

I smiled at him. "Sounds promising to me. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." He smiled back, before morphing his expression into something more serious. "You said the other night that when it came to your relationship with Preston, you knew better. So why did you do it? Why did you do anything with him?"

I leaned against the cushions. "Because I was stupid. Because I hadn't really dated much, and I certainly hadn't slept with anyone, and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Well, guess what. Now my job's in jeopardy and I still don't know what all the fuss is about. I hated sex, and whether it was because it was him or because I just simply don't like sex, I still have no clue. So the whole thing was pointless and stupid and I wish it had never happened. Preston and I didn't have chemistry, and I wasn't even really attracted to him. But he asked me out and I thought, okay, I'll give him a chance. Maybe it was just because all my friends were in serious, loving relationships and I wanted that for myself. I wanted to be able to gush over someone, to actually experience first love. Instead I got a jackass with an ego issue."

"You're right," James said. "You were stupid and you were desperate."

"Wow, thanks so much for the pep talk."

"But I get it. I get wanting something badly enough that you're willing to force it, even if it's with the wrong person."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Maybe a little too much experience."

I looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate.

"There was a girl a couple years ago who I really cared for. But she didn't want me. So I forced it with other people until I finally had to admit that nothing was working, that I wasn't moving on."

"What happened to the girl?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but instead he just smiled. "Does it matter?"

"No. I guess not."

"I don't regret what I felt for her. And I don't regret what I did to get over her, even though it didn't work. And I don't think you should regret Preston. For better or worse, he was a part of your life and he was a learning experience. Maybe it wasn't a good one, but it was still a learning experience."

"Yeah," I said quietly. "It's kind of funny – I never really gave much thought to virginity and first times until after it was over, and that's when I realized how badly I'd wanted it to be special. And it wasn't."

"No one should regret their first time," James said firmly. "And while it won't be your first time having sex, you'll get a first time with someone else. Hopefully someone who you'll have more chemistry with. Someone who actually loves you."

I turned my head to look at him and our eyes met. His eyes were normally a warm hazel, but now they were dark with emotion and something else, something I didn't want to name but wanted to at the same time.

Desire. Passion. Need.

Love.

I tilted my head up, lifting it, anticipating the moment that our lips would meet.

And then his phone went off.

Fucking hell. Shit.

James grabbed his phone, answering it, and just like that the moment was gone. And I wondered if I had just imagined it.

"Hey, Logan, what's up?" he said into his phone, before raising an eyebrow. "She did? Really? Ah. I mean, of course you're invited. I just figured you wouldn't be interested since psychic fairs aren't really your thing. You're like Katie – you think they're a load of bullshit. Uh huh. Okay. We'll meet you there at eleven tomorrow morning." And with that he hung up, before turning to me. "Guess who's coming to the psychic fair with us tomorrow."

Whoever's still reading, thank you for your time! I hope your weekend goes well, and everyone has a safe Halloween :)