Luxin was in so much pain these days. He tried not to make it blatantly obvious to everyone, but Kol could see it. There was obviously a lot of physical pain, yes, but Kol'syk was more attuned to the mental and emotional agony written on his partner's every feature. Confined to the infirmary bed, Luxin could no longer stand and walk on his own. It was as though his legs had simply given up, and it was a living hell for the independent Altean. It was a living hell for his adoring Galran mate, as well, but Kol'syk didn't think it was hardly as bad on him as it was on Luxin.

The Altean only cried in his sleep, to his credit, but Kol'syk wished that he felt comfortable to do so while he was awake, as well. If there was ever anything to cry about - if ever anyone had the right to cry about anything - it was here and now with Luxin. Alteans might live shorter lives than Galra in the first place, but Luxin was nowhere near the age Alteans usually reached. The age he should have lived to, with Kol'syk.

Beside him in the cot - his personal place of residence these days - Luxin began to stir and whimper as he started waking up from his extended sleep. He couldn't stay awake for long anymore, and Kol had given up on his belief that the Altean would get better. Kol'syk reached up one large hand to cup the back of Luxin's head and wipe a bit of the moisture from his beloved's face so that the Altean wouldn't realize he'd been crying. As if he wasn't embarrassed enough as it was...

"There you are, my love," Kol purred softly as Lux turned his face into the larger's palm, his ears flicking back in discomfort. "Is there anything you need? Water? Food? Restroom?" Luxin's pallid face burned with an awkward blush - he couldn't seem to accept the fact that he needed help with such things anymore. In fact, the first time he had had to ask for the bathroom, he had waited so long that they had almost ended up having to mop the floor. After that near-accident, Lux became better about asking, and Kol hated that he felt so humiliated about it. But that was part of who Luxin was - so independent and stubborn and self-reliant. Of course this would be hard for him to accept.

"Water?" Luxin croaked in return, pushing himself up on weak elbows so that he could rise into a sitting position. At least he could still do that much, and Kol'syk was wise enough to let him do it on his own. "P-please?"

Kol sat up after him and reached over to the side to pick up a water pouch that was there on standby. He popped the straw into it and placed it lightly into Lux's shaking hands. The Altean brought the straw to his mouth with effort that should never have had to be applied to something as small as a pouch of water. He took a few sips before it was running down his chin and he had to hand it back to his mate.

The Galran placed it back onto the table and ran gentle knuckles down Luxin's spine. "And what now?" he prompted, continuing to rub his mate's back. "Do you need anything else?"

"I..." the Altean whispered, leaning into Kol's chest with a soft sigh. "I would like to work on the Lions. There is still so much work to do, and... I want to get it done. Alfor needs my help - we're saving every universe. It's so important," he rambled on, clenching his jaw. "It's too much work for him to do on his own..."

Kol'syk's ears drooped at the ends, his heart clenching in his chest. This wasn't the first time they had had this conversation in the past week or so, and it never got any easier to endure. "Meivah, you know we can't do that," he murmured in return, his head lowering a bit. "You're not strong enough to stand - let alone build a Lion. Besides, you both were almost done, and I am certain that Alfor can handle the rest on his own. Phiram is helping him."

Luxin bit his lower lip and leaned against Kol's chest, already spent from simply sitting up and speaking to his partner. The Altean's body was trembling softly from exertion and emotion, and he brought one hand to press over his lips. "We haven't even started on the Gold Lion," he whispered softly, all color drained from his markings. "We hadn't finished on the Purple Lion, either..." Lux shivered and Kol'syk wrapped an arm around him to hug the Altean close and offer what body heat he could. "I just... I've failed completely..."

"You've done more than anyone could ever hope for," Kol responded softly, letting Luxin support himself against his own chest. In all honesty, he preferred it. He couldn't get enough of his mate on a good day, but even moreso on the bad ones. Luxin needed him, and he needed Luxin, and he was so grateful to be able to hold him like this – even just for the moment. "Alfor will find a way to get this done. You know he's smart enough to figure it out on his own, and if he ever does need you for something, I'm positive he would ask you. But I won't take you in there, Lux... unless you get a little stronger."

The young Altean was wise enough to know that Kol'syk was still hoping against hope – grasping at straws and trying to believe that Luxin still might recover. So he said nothing, instead nestling his head in the crook of Kol's neck. The two of them sat together in a comfortable, almost peaceful silence, before Lux spoke up once more.

"Kol?"

"Yes?"

"...I n-need to... to, um..."

He always seemed to have a problem with mentioning anything to do with his physical needs, aside from needing water, rest, or occasionally some food. But from the way his partner was shifting uncomfortably against his flank, Kol'syk could guess what the problem was. The Galran only wished that Luxin wouldn't feel so ashamed for needing something as basic as a toilet – and especially every single day, multiple times a day. It was hard to see him so humiliated over something he couldn't even control.

Kol rubbed his knuckles gently down the Altean's back and pressed a kiss to his temple. A soft frown crossed his lips when Lux turned his burning, shamed face into his own mate's chest. "Don't be embarrassed," he murmured softly, tightening his hold on Luxin as carefully as possible. "Do you want me to carry you to the restroom, or just get you a bedpan?"

"I... a bedpan, p-please," Lux whispered, his lips trembling and his hands fastening on the front of Kol'syk's sleep shirt. "It would hurt too much to be carried. I'm sorry..."

"Lux, it's okay," Kol soothed, kissing the top of the Altean's head. "You know I don't mind."

And he truly didn't, either. What he did mind, however, was the fact that he had to run to the closet down the hall to get his partner a proper recepticle to use. Of course they had to keep the damn things in a small room that took almost two whole minutes to get to and return to the infirmary – why in the hell didn't he just keep Luxin in his own room where the bathroom was literally sitting right beside them and they could have proper privacy? He would have to talk to Alfor about that.

Luxin was still there when he returned, waiting anxiously – but patiently – where he lay on the mattress. His markings were yellowish with illness and discomfort, and Kol stroked his hair as he sat down beside his partner's prone form. The Altean sucked in a sharp breath when the bed jostled his body, and Kol winced with him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, beginning to slide one hand underneath Luxin's back to help him sit up. It was, unfortunately, necessary.

But as he lifted Luxin up, the Altean began to choke, and blood started to drip down his nose when his head was lifted up. Much like when he had that first nosebleed in the Gray Lion, he had unfortunately sucked some of the crimson liquid into his lungs. As if he didn't have enough to worry about...

Kol was quick to pat his back this time – firmly but as gently as he could manage at the same time. Lux was so easy to bruise these days, and he was so much smaller than Kol'syk that it made handling him exceptionally difficult. Particularly when he was gagging and choking and – oh gods above, his face was turning blue. Kol continued to pat his back and rub his chest and hold his head up all at the same time to try and get him to spit back up the offending liquid, but it wasn't working.

Finally, blessedly, Luxin sucked in a breath and started to retch and heave instead, so Kol'syk took the bedpan and held it beneath his partner's purplish lips. Blood and mucus and half-digested broth that he had eaten the night before spilled out from his mouth, but the spout of illness was short-lived and brief. Soon, Luxin was finished and Kol was free to possessively hug his mate to his chest, and the Altean was free to breathe and be held. Kol'syk noticed that the smaller male was trembling and panting and clinging just as tightly in return – his markings were a churning purple-green-yellow color that Kol could only describe as terror.

But then those markings started to deepen into reddish shades that would normally result from an embarrassment. Kol couldn't help but be confused, and was about to start comforting his partner when he smelled it – the tinge of ammonia in the air. The warmth and wetness in his own lap told the rest of the story for him, and Luxin had gone from shaking and terrified to tense and humiliated in his arms.

Guess they wouldn't be needing that bedpan after all.

"I think... I think we need a bath," Kol whispered, still clinging to his mate and threading his fingers through the Altean's hair. He didn't want to embarrass his partner any further than he already was, especially when this new development scared the hell out of him – Luxin had never had an... accident like this before. It was undoubtedly just another one of those signs that his body was shutting off and not doing what it was supposed to do.

Luxin didn't respond, but Kol hadn't been expecting him to. Instead, the Galran lifted up the young Altean and brought the two of them into the nearest restroom to get a bath going. Luxin remained quiet and instead just clung to the front of Kol's shirt, until his partner tried to put him down.

"Can you stand up for just a few moments?" Kol'syk asked, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Lux's head. The Altean hesitated before nodding his head, and Kol gingerly brought him to the ground so that he was on his feet. But he couldn't stay for long, and was quick to sink to his knees as Kol headed over to grab a couple of towels. He didn't fall hard, and Kol wasn't too worried about his physical health... but the sight of his mate kneeling in his own pee and blood was a vision that would haunt him to the end of his days.

The Galran was sure to hold his beloved for a particularly long time in the bath that night; to make him feel stable and comforted and loved. All the while making mental notes on how to prevent that type of thing from happening again.

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The prevention wasn't working. Baths and accidents and nosebleeds and nausea came much more abundantly as the days passed and Lux became more and more weak and exhausted. He could hardly even move from the bed at all anymore, and one week, after four accidents in less than two days, Kol decided to bring up Luxin perhaps needing a bit of... protection against his weakened muscles and inability to hold it until they either reached a bathroom or got him a bedpan to use.

It was painful, and Luxin initially protested against it, but it only took a bit of prompting and slight begging from Kol (and the suggestion of Alfor) to convince him. And it hurt to have to learn the proper way to change the padding and making sure Lux was cleaned and comfortable, because the Altean had always been so very independent, but... it was better than watching him be humiliated over and over again.

But he was, every single day. Just not as much as if Kol had to mop up the floor after him.

"I'm so sorry..."

They both apologized to one another a lot these days. This particular occasion was Luxin voicing his apology to Kol after his partner had returned from a short break to eat, as the scent of any food would send the Altean into a retching fit. Kol'syk had even been careful to brush his teeth and wash his hands before returning and laying down in the bed beside his mate. They didn't cuddle as much after Lux had begun deteriorating more rapidly, because it hurt the Altean's skin too badly. Unless Luxin was freezing or scared, Kol stayed on his side of the bed. The only exception was when they would hold hands, or Lux would let Kol run gentle hands across his face and trace the markings on his neck and arms.

A soft smile crossed the Galran's lips as he brushed his fingers across Lux's cheeks. "Don't be," he whispered, having heard the routine apologies and asking for forgiveness where it wasn't needed. Sometimes Luxin would even apologize for being gross, which was positively absurd.

Luxin closed his eyes and leaned his head into Kol's touch, taking a deep breath. He didn't try to justify why he had apologized, and he didn't need to. But gods above did it hurt to see that defeated look in his eyes...

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It didn't happen until about a week later, but of course there was a problem in the literal ten minutes that Kol had decided to take a break and eat during the day. Luxin had been asleep, and he had figured it would be safe for him to take a bit of time to himself. He hated to admit it, but he was completely exhausted – caring for a loved one like this was a round-the-clock job, and he was unbelievably tired.

But when he did return to check on his mate, he found that he was not quite alone. Honestly, if he were in better mental condition himself, he would have been able to recognize that the large form leaned over his partner was only Phiram, but in that moment... all he could see was an enemy.

He leapt forward and slammed himself down over the top of Luxin's slight frame, making sure to not put any weight at all on his beloved as he bared his fangs at the other, older Galran man. A snarl ripped itself from his throat and his ears pressed back against his skull, the fur along his shoulders rising in a completely undisguised threat. Phiram was quick to pull his hands away from the Altean's waist and hold them up in surrender, his own ears flicking back in response.

"It's alright," he soothed, meeting Kol'syk's ferocious yellow gaze with his own calm one. "I was simply trying to check on him – to make sure his pulse was steady and his breathing was even and that he was dry. That is all," the man went on, his eyes narrowing just a bit. "You need to calm down now – I believe you've frightened your mate."

Kol flinched a bit and looked over his shoulder to rest his gaze on his partner. Luxin's eyes were open and his face was pallid, his lips parted and his breathing shaky and stuttered. They made eye contact and the Altean almost instantly began to sniffle with emotion that was uncharacteristic of him. "Oh, meivah," Kol breathed, watching as tears built up in Luxin's eyes and began to spill over down his cheeks, cutting across dulled markings and dripping from his chin. The Galran reached a hand toward his mate, and much to his relief, Luxin reached his hands up in return instead of flinching away. As gingerly as possible, he began to dry the tears off of Lux's face and press soft kisses to the markings on his cheeks.

His skin was too cold, and his eyes were so dim...

"I'm taking him to my room," Kol whispered thickly. It was becoming obvious that it wouldn't be long now, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to keep Luxin safe and concealed and warm and protected. Alfor and Phiram and Voltron and the Altean empire wouldn't be able to keep him from carrying Luxin to their bed and making sure he was as comfortable as possible for as long as he could.

Fortunately, Phiram said nothing as Kol lifted Lux up out of the bed and began carrying him out of the room. He had to use one hand to support the back of his mate's head and neck to make sure it wouldn't loll backward and make him uncomfortable. He could hardly keep his eyes open...

He's dying, he's dying, Luxin's dying...

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. But there was nothing that any of them could do to prevent it.

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Kol'syk had laid beside his mate on their bed for over a day straight now. Luxin had fallen asleep not long after Kol had taken him out of the infirmary, and though he would occasionally whimper or stir a bit, his eyes would not open. Kol feared that they might never open again.

"You're so beautiful, my darling..."

And he really was, too. Even emaciated and rail-thin, pale and ill, the sight of Luxin was enough to take his breath from his chest. Kol was determined to memorize every detail of his beloved's face as he held him, hoping against hope that the warmth from his body and the prayers he was sending up to every higher power he had ever heard of would be enough to save Luxin's life.

"Remember... remember that little house that we talked about getting? After all of this ends?" the Galran went on, his voice hoarse from talking. He just couldn't stand the thought of sitting in silence, just waiting on the end to come. "You wanted it to be by a lake, but I argued. It wouldn't be safe for the children." If he thought about it hard enough, he could almost hear Luxin's protest. "I know, I know... you won't have them biologically. But we could adopt. A baby orphaned by this horrible war, maybe... would you like that?"

There was no response.

Kol's ears pressed back a bit, but he nodded his head. His throat was almost too tight to speak again. "I think you'd warm up to the idea. You would be such an amazing parent." Perhaps a bit too mechanically-minded and stubborn, maybe, but certainly caring and warm. After the initial, inevitable hesitance. Lux was just that way.

Again, Luxin did not even stir. The only sign that he was even still alive was the slight tremble that his body had taken on, and the rattle in his lungs when he breathed in and out. His body was no longer working for him – it couldn't regulate its own temperature, it wasn't producing sweat, and Lux's joints and face were beginning to get puffy with retained water. So his kidneys weren't filtering any toxins out and the padding (Kol and Luxin both refused to call it a diaper) was rendered useless. Therefore, Kol'syk removed it and instead bundled Lux in one of his own giant, warm sweaters. He put the thickest socks he could find on Luxin's feet and hands, trying desperately to help him keep warm.

"Are you thirsty, my love?" Kol asked conversationally, brushing some of Luxin's tangled white hair from his face. He didn't expect an answer, but since Luxin's lips were dry and cracked and bleeding, he had no doubt that he was dehydrated. So he picked up a nearby water pouch that Alfor had left them and placed the straw between the Altean's lips.

Water merely dribbled down his chin in response to Kol's effort.

The Galran nodded his head and took a deep, steadying breath before wiping the wetness from Luxin's face. "That's okay, meivah, that's okay. We're okay," he whispered, trying to reassure himself in some way. At this point, he wasn't even sure if Lux could feel any pain.

With the softest touch he could muster, Kol'syk traced his fingers along one of the markings on Luxin's cheeks. The marking – which had faded to a pale, nearly lifeless gray – began to take on just a hint of pink in a physical reaction to his mate's touch. It had always astounded Kol that Luxin was able to trust him so openly without being able to see the colors, like Kol'syk had the benefit of. Luxin had no pink marks to show that he was loved in return – he simply had to trust and understand Kol's adoration of him.

It meant more than the world to him to see that color on Luxin's skin now.

But it also was the one thing that really did him in – when Lux's cheeks illuminated a weak pink and he turned his face into the palm of Kol'syk's hand. Tears built up in the Galran's eyes and he gingerly pressed his forehead against the Altean's, his ears pinning to his head and his fur fluffing in sorrow.

"No, Luxin, please!" he begged in a ragged whisper, gentle hands pressing against his mate's too-thin back to hold him ever closer. "I'll give you anything! Everything! Just... just please, darling, please don't leave me, please, please, please... oh, god...!" Sobs began to tear forth from his chest as he clung to his beloved, far past the point of putting up walls or barriers against the emotions that had threatened to escape him for weeks.

Now, he was free to cry out and beg and pray and plead and bargain for Luxin to simply stay with him. Now that it was a complete, absolute impossibility... now that he would never see those sharp blue eyes ever again. Because even though Luxin was still physically with him, he lacked the strength that he needed to live, and he was growing weaker with each breath that was pulled into his chilled body.

Kol'syk cried himself to sleep that night, and when he woke back up, his mate was stiff and cold in his arms. The spirit had long since slipped away, and Alfor was in the room with them.

He never did think to ask what the colorful object the older Altean was holding was, nor how he knew that Lux had passed away. All he could do was cradle Luxin's body in his arms, hide his face away in that too-thin chest, and scream.

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Present Day...

Luxin took his nonphysical hand off of the projector where he had been projecting his memories. Even his hologram was blushing a dark, deep crimson and he was shaking with emotion from reliving the whole experience. Kol'syk had moved closer to him, even though he was trembling as well.

"Now, then..." Luxin began, placing his hands on his hips as he regarded the six earth teens – the new paladins. "I hope you all understand why I have shown you this. Not only did you all deserve to know what happened, but Kol'syk never knew that Alfor transferred my soul over to the hexagon while he slept. We had that agreement from early on in the process, but... at that point, I simply wanted to die. But I'm glad I'm here now," he stated decisively. "There's still an empire to destroy, and I'm most likely the only Altean that exists who will help you all. Though we'll have to put Kol to work now, as well." A conflicted smile crossed the Altean's lips – searching and apologetic and adoring all at the same time. "If he isn't too angry with me, of course."

Kol's eyes widened a bit and he stepped forward again, his hands hovering and anxious over Luxin's untouchable form. "How could I be angry with you?" he whispered, his eyes glistening with leftover pain. "I never thought... I never thought I would see you again..."

The Altean's own face crumpled a bit in sorrow before he moved over to get as close to Kol as physically possible, with their different planes of existence. "I'm still so, so sorry..." he murmured, his own eyes raising to meet Kol's gaze.

The Galran warrior offered him a smile that didn't look like it belonged on the face of a battle-scarred, gigantic soldier. It was so soft. "Don't be," he responded gently, a low purr rising in his throat.

Honestly, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Even Luxin's image was fighting tears.

"Right," the Altean stated, turning back to the paladins. "I've shown you these memories to express to you how important it is to have trust in one another as a team. I've given you insight into mine – our – pasts. You are not expected to do the same instantly, but forming Voltron will require complete trust between all of you." He seemed to notice the fact that the six teenagers were not only emotionally compromised, but that Min and Arin in particular were hiding exhausted yawns behind their hands.

Kol'syk decided to step in at that point. "We can work on more tomorrow. For now, get some rest," he told them, and waited for each of them to head off in the direction of the small bedrooms they would be given before he turned back to his mate.

For a moment, the two just looked at each other and drank in their presence, before Kol reached one hand out to nearly touch Luxin's shoulder. The Altean let out a soft laugh before tossing his head toward a door on the opposite side of the room. "Come with me," he urged, turning and leading the way through. "I feel as though you and I have some catching up to do."

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An – I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for the absolutely massive wait, and for the absolutely emotional chapter. This is the last Kol and Lux background chapter, but it is not the last we will see of the two of them, so don't worry!

Life Update – I have transferred colleges and now attend a university. I got into the Digital Animation program! Honestly, I worked my ass off. Now I might actually live up to my username!

Question of the Day: Who do you ship in Voltron? Personally, I am a sucker for Klance. Generic AF, but I don't care. Chemistry is chemistry, folks~!

Read/Review/Pm me/enjoy! I'll be back soon. Also please tell me if there's anything wrong with the chapter! I kind of have sucky internet here right now and it was difficult to get this uploaded. If it's too rushed, I can redo it!

Love,

anim8or