Some mature content here, but very mild. Kanan and Hera have an argument about whether love makes one weaker or stronger. I sent off poor Poe and Finn too easily, I admit that. But I got myself entangled and didn't find a better solution for those two crazy love birds to stay alone. It's all very bitter-sweet. Ben is aware of great sacrifices ahead.
Chapter XIV.
The untamed power.
Synopsis: Rey and Ben run away from Coruscant. Back on Lothal, Rey has to face with the profound tragedy of their situation.
The tragedy and the unnaturalness of that place shook them all to the core. "Ghost" wasn't there to pick them up, and they lost all contact with Hera some time ago.
But "Falcon" was there, caught in the middle of enemy fire like a small bird in the hurricane.
Until they reached the "Falcon", they didn't utter a word.
The walls behind them were closing in – the whole crumbling facility was going into a total lock-down.
Rey saw a squadron of TIE fighters and took two of them down, with Ben locking on other two. But they were coming at them in dozens. The "Falcon" received two direct hits which slowed down the hyper-drive charging.
"Another hit like this, and we're done!" Rey screamed.
But suddenly, two TIE fighters crash landed mere inches above the surface of the "Falcon", crushing against the closed launch bay.
It was the "Ghost".
"Hera", Rey yelled, "Divert as many as you can and hyper-jump immediately!"
She couldn't stand to lose another friend and ally.
"Roger that, "Falcon"," Hera replied and made an elaborate maneuver right in front of fighters' noses, prompting them to chase after her.
Then the hyper-drive acknowledged full charge.
They jumped. The space distorted in a wormhole. They escaped.
Endor 2 was compromised and had to be evacuated. With their dominion crumbling, the First Order was at the peak of its brutality. Hera received this information from Chewbacca, who was sent from Endor 2 to secure the evacuation of the small alliance.
"Ghost" arrived later to the rescue because Hera herself had to chase off a First Order patrol that was alarmed when the clone facility went to a shut-down.
Since the remaining Resistance has scattered in the Outer Rim, running away from both the First Order and the fast-spreading infection, Hera took the alliance to Lothal who stayed largely forgotten.
They hid the "Falcon" and "Ghost" on the outskirts of the city, near Ezra's old tower, and moved on foot through the fields of wheat. Hera felt it was best to stay there, near her ship (and possibly Kanan), with Finn, Poe, Rey and Ben hiding in the city. "It is better for us to stay separate", she said, "I have been doing this for years. And nothing thrills First Order more than a capture in groups, so go".
"And as for you, my old friend", she turned to wookie, "Lothal hasn't seen a free wookie in 30 years. I suggest you to stay with your ship for tonight. Tomorrow at dawn, we move".
It was a warm and starry night. With garrisons dispatched on more important planetary systems, Lothal appeared like the last remaining peaceful outpost in the Outer Rim. They ran through the fields stealthily. The exercise and the warmth of the planet seemed to help them with the paralyzing cold terror they all felt in their very bones.
They reached the old hiding place in the city. Finn broke into the abandoned shelter and coughed, suffocated by the old dirt and dust that filled that place. The whole alliance was desperately tired. Finn fell to the ground, panting. Poe put away his blaster gun and sat on a small crate. For the first time, that brazen look was gone from his face. His eyes appeared dead as ashes.
"Are any of you hurt?" Ben asked.
Rey shook her head.
"You?" she asked.
"I'm fine", he sighed, removing the blaster gun and the saber. He offered all his weapons to her with a timid gesture. He still felt the saber didn't belong to him.
She shook her head.
"No", she said, "The Force wills it. It is yours now. Keep it".
"What about you?" Rey asked Finn and Poe.
Both Finn and Poe waved their hands.
"She was a brave warrior. Completely insane and terrifying, but if I had to storm the whole First Order, it'd be with her in frontlines", Poe uttered. "I can't believe she was killed that way. She fought off a whole squadron herself. And what will now happen to her Mandalore, now they're all dead?"
Rey felt her heart broke again.
"There are other Nite Owls around", she said. "Their leader might be dead, but there are others to fill her place. Mandalorians are cunning. They always have a plan B. Besides, once Snoke's defeated, First Order will soon wither away and crumble. They're crumbling even now, as we speak. There will be a new era of freedom across the galaxy. Master Skywalker said so. And I believe him".
Poe looked at her with disbelief and bitterness, but felt too weary and beaten up to fight against her unbridled and desperate optimism.
They remained silent for some time.
"So, this is it?" Finn finally verbalized their collective dread. "Now it's not only the disease, the technology and the fanatics – now it's some kind of necromancy we're dealing with?"
Finn felt his temples would explode.
Rey and Ben had no answers themselves. Rey shuddered and discarded the rest of her armor.
"You might need those later, Rey", Poe said. He was slowly learning from past mistakes.
"No", Rey said. "I will face with this thing as I am. Besides, no armor helps against that. You saw it".
"We're all going to die", Finn uttered. "I have to speak to Rose".
Rey looked up at him, wanting to reassure him and to tell him that they won't die, that she won't allow it – but she found it hard to utter another white lie. She didn't know. The shades of the future she saw made her heart sink again. The visions seem to be unraveling. She saw that Satine might perish like this. Blaze of glory – a true death every Mandalorian could only hope for. But the remaining future seemed vacuous – whole cities abandoned in forlorn. Planets rendered uninhabitable for ever more.
She shuddered.
Finn was at the door.
"What", Poe said. "You're serious? Don't try to contact anyone. That's an order. When we survive this… if we survive this, then we'll talk. And mourn".
"There might be another way", Rey said softly.
Finn understood.
"Kanan?"
"Yes", Rey said. "The Jedi ghosts are powerful. He could do it without disturbing the First Order or Snoke".
"But Rose is no Force user", Finn frowned.
Ben answered this time.
"It doesn't matter", he said. "The Force binds all there is. Rey's right. Ask Kanan. But ask him tomorrow. It's curfew outside".
"Maybe there will be no tomorrow", Finn said, bitterly. "You Jedi might have time, and I… we don't".
Ben sighed.
"Take my blaster, then", he said.
Finn looked at Ben, puzzled, and then at Rey, who reassured him. "Take it", she said. "And may the Force be with you".
With Finn gone, Poe felt that he's an odd number in that shelter.
"Alright, kids", he said, trying to act demure. "I have to protect this Stormtrooper's behind. That's what I do. I'll crash with Hera and the dead Jedi, or with my droid who patiently awaits me. Good for me".
"That's unwise", Ben said solemnly. "The more scattered we are the better".
"I stopped trying to be wise some time ago", Poe sneered at him. "This world doesn't make any sense to me at all, no more. Wisdom became vastly overrated".
He glanced back at Ben – at the back of his head, Poe still contemplated about a war tribunal that would send this man to prison, or to the execution squad. He replied in a meek attempt to cast away those feelings:
"You'll need some new clothes from Hera's junk tomorrow. You look like the Leader of the Ren Order in those".
Part of his humor was back. But his ego and his heart would need a long time to heal – if he wasn't killed first.
Ben and Rey were suddenly alone in the Resistance shelter.
He looked at her from side, met her side glance, but then they both looked away.
"I'll try to fix the water pump", she uttered nervously. She felt terrible thirst ever since they escaped from Coruscant.
"I'll help you", he said synchronously.
They worked for awhile in silence, none of them intending to sleep until the dawn. Rey always found this kind of work calmed her and let her be immersed into simple and straightforward functioning of a device. Long before she knew that the Force existed, she could literally absorb the knowledge on a device by long and detailed examination. It was telemetry, as Ben informed her. It was rare even with the most experienced Jedi. He has the same skill – now she knew she had it too.
Both of them did their best not to talk and not to touch. Rey was anxious their touch would somehow trigger the danger and send half of the First Order their way. It was a deep and undisturbed silence of an early curfew on the streets. It felt almost sacrilegious to break that kind of calm.
Finally, the pump gurgled and clicked as it began to infuse the reservoir with water. They had to wait for some time for the reservoir to be partially full. Rey slurped water from a broken jar. With no better beverage, she had to use water in Satine's memory.
"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Satine", she said again and lowered her head.
Ben followed her lead. By the time she looked at him again, he again had that expression of a man that knew something, but withheld it from her.
There was uneasiness in her that she couldn't shake off ever since they escaped Coruscant. The imprint of Snoke's presence was so strong.
"Tell me", Rey uttered, "What is it?"
He was squatting near her as he put his hand across hers.
"This is the point of no return, Rey", he said softly, "Soon, we'll face the ultimate enemy. And you must promise me something".
"Anything", she said and in the moment realized how ardently her whisper sounded. It broke the silence like a thunder.
"You must not falter. You must not hesitate", he said, "You have to be strong and single-minded like that time… in the Throne Room".
Rey shuddered and felt a treacherous tear rolling down her cheek. She rubbed it off quickly. The last thing she wanted is for him to regard her as weak.
"I am not weak", she said, "You know I'll do anything and beyond to stop that monster. You know I'll never turn".
"He won't take any prisoners or allies this time", Ben replied tenderly, "This is his last chance to claim victory. And if he does, that is the end of everything: of all in the existence that ever was and that ever will be. I sense he's raging and rushing to that summit. He is but a ghost now and Luke's Light keeps him at bay, but he has already sawn so much misery and fear that it could replenish him for centuries".
"That's why you have to be brave, merciless even. When the time comes, you have to let go", he whispered to her and squeezed her hand tighter, "My love".
There was a deep, awful realization at the very core of her being, so awful that she blocked herself from confessing it. More than a premonition – she felt like an eternal soul caught in eternally reoccurring tragedy. A dreadful sense of a colossal déjà vu overcame her. The four letter word, spoken so softly and sincerely, broke her into pieces.
Rey sobbed without a voice, shaking with her whole body.
Ben tried to comfort her, but she was inconsolable. The air of loss and loneliness flooded her like a tide, but she still clang to that hope. She couldn't let it go. She never could.
Ben embraced her and she embraced him back, holding him tightly, even violently. She could feel the skin under her nails and the fabric of his shirt breaking with the sheer power of how tightly she held him. He was warm and pulsing with life. She could hear his heart beats through his shirt and the steady, strong pulse on his neck. She soaked in his scent and the feel of his skin against her face.
"Damn the Jedi ways", she whispered in a hoarse voice, "Damn all of them. I will find a way. I will not fail you, do you understand me?"
Ben looked at her melancholically and let loose. But by that point, the danger, the eternal darkness that threatened, the after-shock of that terrible place, and his skin, and his physical presence, confounded Rey. Love confounded her as she pulled him back and kissed him. It was as primitive as it can get. Her nose collided with his, and she shuddered at the sensation of his rough skin and dry lips. A freed scavenger slave from Jakku can't have much skill in these things, after all.
He tolerated the contact for a split second and removed himself from her slowly. He was now looking at her, kneeling, his expression that of sadness, devotion and reluctance.
"We can't do this, Rey", he said. "You don't know the Dark Side the way I do. It will try to destroy you in all possible ways. It will try to get to you through people you love. Love makes you weak and susceptible".
"No", she almost shouted, "That is not my fate, or yours. And if it so, then it's already too late. I'm changed. I've turned. I already love you".
"Then we'll all perish", he whispered grimly.
"You don't know that, no one knows that", she whispered and pulled him back again, "Let the future come and brings its judgment. Presence is only time that matters".
Rey pulled him back in and this time, he leaned in and kissed her back long and fiercely. They made love tenderly and longingly until the dawn. The same way they knew how to fight side by side, their bodies knew what to do this time as well. She wanted to keep him with her for as long as she could. She wanted to take as much of him with herself as possible. The precariousness of that moment drew them ever closer together – he wasn't aware that it was possible to love someone so much.
She coddled his hair with her hand, resting against his arm like on a pillow.
"He… Luke wouldn't approve this", he said and smiled.
"He has no say in this", she replied and kissed him on the lips, "I didn't finish my training officially. I still fall under no jurisdiction".
He smiled even wider at her.
"That's exactly something he'd say", Ben said. "Without the kissing, of course – because that would be just too weird".
It felt so good to forget everything, even if for only a couple of minutes. It felt good to pretend that they were just any other couple in love and that the very reality surrounding them wasn't falling apart.
But they allowed that illusion to last for only few short minutes.
"Come", he said and stood up, helping her to her feet. "We have to meet Hera in 10 minutes".
"You left them in the city alone?" Kanan frowned, looking at two figures approaching Ezra's tower.
Hera raised her eyebrows, but didn't answer immediately. There was an air of disapproval in his voice. They knew each other long enough both in life and in death to understand some things without saying.
"They're young", she eventually replied, as she was finished packing and hiding the parts of her pilot's uniform beneath the useless junk that she used as a facade. "And you remember what that means".
"Hera", Kanan answered firmly, although with a tone of sadness in his voice. "They're not just any other young couple in the galaxy. They are powerful Force users. He is the former Knight of Ren. The Dark Side is persistent and will now attempt to bring what it has lost thousand fold stronger than the first time he was turned. You can't just leave them like that".
It was Hera's turn to frown.
"I wasn't the one to push her in his arms, if that's what you're implying", she grunted. "They're in love, fair and square. They were in love long before I met them on Endor 2. Some things you can't push around. They come naturally. Let them be. This might be the only time alone they'll ever have. Besides, he's cured of his illness. And he is strong. He has so much of his father's heart in him, for pity sake. You saw it in him. We all saw it".
But Kanan was restless.
"You know he has to die, Hera", he said bluntly. "I forewarned you about it. This Darkness that he perpetuated cannot be stopped without bitter sacrifices. He might be no longer part of it, but the avalanche cannot be stopped only because he wishes it away. And she must be the Light that will stop that Darkness once and for all. You can't let her get… attached to him. It might ruin her. It might ruin all hope galaxy has".
Hera snapped at him – for the first time in a very, very long time. For the first time since he became the part of the Force, to be exact.
"Really?" she said in a hoarse voice. "So love is now a weakness? Let me tell you something, Kanan Jarrus. Sometimes your Jedi ways make you stupider, not wiser. They make you narrow-minded when they should make you compassionate and hopeful. What do you think kept me alive all these years?"
Kanan made a step back, but replied softly and sternly at the same time.
"We are something altogether different".
"Are we? Are we really?" she said. "In what form and way exactly, tell me? Is it because now only the most powerful Force users are the only ones that matter? So the "Light doesn't die with Jedi" is just a nice motivational thing for the rest of us stuck in this life, without Force wielding powers? Does it make me less capable of loving you? Did I not mourn your loss enough? Or perhaps it is you who are stuck in this dump because you have some incredibly important work to do on Lothal?"
Kanan was left speechless, but he knew she was telling the truth. The white lie he told himself and she about not being able to leave Lothal was only a white lie – he couldn't leave because of her. His brilliant eyes darkened with sadness.
"I roamed half-insane through that forest, looking for you, hoping you might still be alive", Hera shouted painfully. It pained her to re-live those memories again. "Ezra found you. We buried you. We made the funeral pyre for you. I was prepared to lay there by your side and die with you, because it all… all of this… lost its meaning. Zeb and Ezra stopped me".
"Hera", Kanan said. "I didn't want to hurt you. I just want to protect you from being hurt even more".
He tried to embrace her, but she stepped back.
"No", she shouted back. "No. You need to hear it until the end because, obviously, dwelling in the Force made you forget how life feels! How loneliness feels! How loss feels!"
She finally fell to the floor, crying.
"Damn it", she murmured. "Now I gave you argument for your reasoning, Master Jedi. Didn't I? I'm a stupid old fool".
"No", he replied and sat next to her. "No, you're not. And even if you are, then I'm an even greater fool".
She leaned onto his shoulder as he hugged her gently.
"Your visions aren't infallible, you know that", she said.
"They're not", he sighed.
"But what?" she persisted.
"The vision was very powerful", Kanan said. "Luke is concerned. He doesn't wish him dead the same way I don't wish his death. But the imbalance created is too great. The rift created between the Dark and the Light Side is too great. It cannot be closed without great sacrifices on both sides".
Hera blinked at him and rubbed away the tears.
"Let's stay hopeful, then", she whispered. "At least, they don't know, don't they? It's something only the Force ghosts can see, right?"
He nodded. There was another white lie. But he was prepared to bend the truth to save her from the unnecessary pain. In the end, Future is impossible to see. Always in motion it is.
Even for those who transformed into Force.